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Anyone else who is suffering from crippling loneliness?

AceQuorthon

International Man of Mystery
Feels like I’m getting lonelier and lonelier by each day... I’ve lost so many friends throughout the years and my current ones live quite a bit away, and now with work I have even less time to meet them. I also feel like the black sheep of the family, my parents have always been tough on me to succeed which I’ve failed almost every time. My mom is also mentally unwell and takes out her problems on me which makes me feel even more alienated. At school and other work places I’ve had throughout the years I’ve always had a hard time fitting in, never seem to find my place and settle in properly. I just want to find people that really love me as I am, and who I can love back unconditionally. Feels so awful in the soul going to sleep every night in your cold bed knowing that no one around you cares about you existing in the same place and time as them.
 

AppleButt

Well-Known Member
I could be in a room full of people giving me their undivided attention and Id still feel alone.

I personally shouldn't feel this way because I do have a few good friends, a sister that’s like a friend, and my parents.

But I do. I always just feel that no matter how much someone loves me, my problems are my own, friends and family can be supportive and provide some tools, but in the end it’s up to me and me alone to lead myself the right direction.
 

Minerva_Minx

Explosion loving skooma cat
I always have a hard time fitting in where I work. I just usually accept it and try to move on.

Being a social introvert doesn't help matters much.

But, no problems in being an online friend. Too easy.
 

LeFay

Professional meme inspector
I've been a loner for most of my life so for me it's very normal. Sometimes I get extreme bouts where I feel completely isolated from others and for that I suffer a lot in silence. It's not so bad once you get used to it. But I find that it doesn't go away. It just piles itself one on top of the other getting a bit worse each time it happens.

But every now and again a bit of interaction pulls me out of it, if only for a little while. It's actually the reason I came back to this community after almost 5 years of lurking. I have problems developing meaningful relationships with others and I'm painfully shy.

But learning to love your own company and having a lot of hobbies really helps fill the hole. For you though it's probably different, life is short, don't be afraid to make friends even if it puts you in mild distress. It all works out in the end, it always does.
 

rekcerW

Well-Known Member
Sometimes, but for the most part no.

I value being alone, I spend time among people at work all the time dealing with everybody's nuances and trying to please them. I try to make myself and the company I work for look good, there's from hundreds to thousands of people on site depending on where I am. I have to play the part of catering to interests I have no part in, and humor shit I resent.

There was a point in my life when I was in school where I had lots of friends, apparently I was a popular kid (which fucking blew my mind when I heard it from a relative of another person I never actually met that was in my school school years later), but I got bullied and dropped out. Spent years in depression, yadda yadda tried to kill myself, that's all done now.

Going home, I don't want to play that fucking stupid social game. It's a fucking waste of time to try and look good in front of people you don't really know because when you get to meet them, they're almost never going to be people you actually want to know. You can't bend yourself to become somebody that you're not without damaging yourself -- you are you -- and those friends that you do find that are few are far between, are real friends. The best kind of friendships are the ones where you just get along with eachother without actually taking any kind of effort to censor yourself or hold back feelings. Those are the kind of people you can go months on end without talking to and simply pick up where you left off no matter the distance between or circumstances provided.

I've had lots of friends just kind of fade away, some that really bugged me for years after, but that's the way the ball rolls. Today, the last time I've actually talked to a friend extends to weeks. Haven't hung out in months. The bottom line is that life keeps changing all the time, for everybody in it. Sometimes it takes people away from eachother, and sometime it pushes people together.

Friends will come and go, some will be harder to lose and some will be easier to gain, but the bottom line is that at the end of the day, it's just you. Do what you can to appreaciate yourself.

Trust me, I know that damned feeling of complete worthlessness all to well, those nights are HARD. But it really does get better.
 

Tazzzz

‘Hey, who let this guy on the Internet?’
I was incredibly lonely in late high school, I had nobody even approaching a friend. At lunch break, I either walked around outside or hung out with my bullies (yes, really).

I hated everything about myself, especially for losing the real friends I had during primary and early high. Looking back now, that was probably the worst point in my life.

I’ve since met some really awesome people, but I’ll never forget that feeling of isolation. To everyone who’s feeling that right now; friendships are about quality over quantity, and you’ll find some good ones eventually <3
 

Pipistrele

Smart batto!
I always have a hard time fitting in where I work. I just usually accept it and try to move on.

Being a social introvert doesn't help matters much.

But, no problems in being an online friend. Too easy.
Oi, let's be friends!
 

Heppi

The happy one~
Hello there, I'm new to this site.

I can really relate to what rekcerW said and I agree with him. I found this video a few days ago, I hope it's okay to link it here:
I've made the same experience on my own, so it really helped me to know that other people feel the same way.
Like LeFay, I'm used to be alone. It's really strange, but most people where I live, prefer to be alone. It was like this while I was going to school and it didn't change as an adult. We have really nice places here, like a park, lakes, a small town and so on. I like those places, especially the park. But it's strange, when I go there, I'm almost always alone there. I have the whole thing for myself, which isn't only bad, haha. But I often have that feel of loneliness. To be honest, I always hoped to meet new people, when I go to the city or something. But it never happened. I talk with people here and there and it's always nice. Most of the people in this world are, in my opinion, really nice and friendly! I never had that feel that someone hated me. People are helpful and nice. But still, it was never more than a small conversation. A (deep) friendship? Love? I never experienced it in my whole life, ever. I had "friends" in school, but only in school. No one wanted to meet outside of school. It seems everyone was busy like hell. And it's true. My "best friend" at that time was a Muslim, so he had a lot of religious things going on. The other was addicted to World of Warcraft. The other was a farmer and helped his family. But the point is: everyone already had their lives. No time for something else or new relationships. I only saw them in school and that was it. You can imagine, when I finished the school and hopped into my first job, I was completely alone. I "only" have my mother and that was my live until now.
The best thing I could do is to just accept that. Enjoying the park or the city for myself, it's really nice and wonderful if you can accept that. Just sitting at the lake, watching the ducks or the nice sky - wonderful~ But before that, I thought those things are only enjoyable, if someone would accompany me on it. If I could share it with someone. I somehow had that crazy thought all those things are pointless or just not that enjoyable, when I'm doing it alone. The only things I can really enjoy on my own, are the nice video games, the Animes. It's just I have no one to talk about it, after I finished it. But I can enjoy my hobbies while doing it. I'm happy with my life, but sometimes, like once a month, the feel of loneliness are overwhelmingly. Hence I'm here now, I guess.
I also made some experience on the Internet in the past. And I don't think it is a 100% compensation for real relationships. It feels more...cold? You see no smiles, hear no voices, can't feel the warmth of a hug. It's a wonderful place to meet like-minded people in an instant. People, you would probably never ever meet in reality. It has it advantages, but it can't give you everything, unfortunately. And it's not easy in reality either... I did have a few acquaintances in the past, but it was one-sided, like always. It's strange, it's always me who wants "more". When I don't call anyone, no one would call me. They were all nice and friendly and happy to see me, but it's still just me who visited them and all. One-sided relationships are really pointless, it does help no one. I stopped visiting them a few years ago and it was "dead" in an instant. They don't need me, they expect nothing from me. It can be a good thing, maybe it really is. I'm free to do what I want. I don't know, it's strange, haha.
Personally, what I think...it is even harder to be a creative person. I started a few projects on my own over the years. I even started to learn to draw not long ago. I love the process and it's fun. But at the same time I'm sad, because everything seems so meaningless/pointless to me. At the moment I feel like it's pointless to be creative as a alone person. I hate it so much to "enjoy" everything alone. It just doesn't go hand in hand anymore, with my new experiences. "Accepting to be alone" makes it pointless to me to be creative, because it means I don't need someone else, which means every interaction is pointless, because it's nothing deep. I struggle with that since a few years now. I think the problem is, that I (or we) are always looking for something deep or a meaning/purpose, that probably doesn't even exist. The only depth I can find so far in my life, is myself. And being creative does hurt myself, it makes me more sad than happy... My dream is to create an awesome game together with other people. A game we all like. Not something with microtransactions of course. <3 Just a pure, awesome game. It's stupid to have a dream, where you are dependent on others. But doing it alone and just for myself is not really fulfilling. I tried it. I don't think doing something just for the money is fulfillung either. I'm at a point where being creative just makes me sad and I feel it's just pointless. So I stopped and I'm doing other stuff again. I try to just enjoy what the world has to offer, all the small things. All the things that I can do alone. I'm still learning and I hope I get better at it over time.

I wish you all the best and a lot of love. :)
 
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SLB-Portu23

Guest
I feel in a very similar way, loneliness really takes a toll on the mind, in fact mental health experts claim that long term loneliness can be more life threatening and incapacitating than diabetes and obesity. Studies also indicate that lonely people have a disturbingly high chance of a premature death and this truly scares me because I can't see an end in sight for the distressing emotional isolation and disconnection to the outside world which affects me everyday.

Honestly, I'm starting to believe that I have no control over the ability to establish a mental bridge with another person because whatever happens, my subconscious mind will always lead me to believe that no one cares about me or enjoys my company and it seems impossible to fight against such outcome. I'll get frustrated, other people will as well and in the end, the pain remains there, slowly consuming me.

From the moment in which I realised that in order for someone to crave your company and time, you need to have something they truly like and feel attracted towards which most likely refers to either material possessions or specific talents, I lost my hope...personality traits alone don't hold enough appeal, that's what my experiences told me up to this day. There really isn't much else I can offer other than that so naturally, my expectations are pretty low.
 

AceQuorthon

International Man of Mystery
I’m sorry to hear that so many here are suffering from loneliness too, and I’m grateful for all the people who’ve offered advice and tips on how to overcome this terrible situation we’re all in. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for all of us and we’ve all become happy and content with life.
 
D

Deleted member 111470

Guest
Yeah, I guess I could say that I am lonely. It's true that I have a good time at work and my coworkers are great, but besides that, I almost never go out or socialize.
 

zeroPony

Well-Known Member
Pretty interesting reading about all of you experience.
Some time ago I read about people living in megapolises and small towns. Difference is that people in big cities ought to stay close in public places, like schools, shops, buses and so on. So it is kind of offense, that people stay cold to each another. Meanwhile, people in small towns often know each other and, while stay relatively distant, have good relationships.

As a megapolis citizen I almost always feel loneliness. I know good people, have good colleagues. We can put together, talk about something, doing things together, drink and so on, but every time I came at home I'm alone.

So... Hang on
 

AceQuorthon

International Man of Mystery
Man tonight I feel worse than usual... I really want a boyfriend...
 

Katzarekatz

Active Member
That's my existence summed up. I grew up without irl friends and I still don't have any because I fell like nobody really understands me. It's worse now that I'm out of high school this year too. It's tragic but I'm used to it.
 
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SLB-Portu23

Guest
I ended up losing most of my irl friends due to my own introverted and conservative nature as well as going through a long period in which I enjoyed my solitude. This isn't happening anymore and all that's left right now are my two cousins who I only sporadically speak to or am with.

Loneliness is undoubtedly awful and when its coupled with an intense internal feeling of worthlessness then life can become filled with dread and despair.
 

AceQuorthon

International Man of Mystery
I ended up losing most of my irl friends due to my own introverted and conservative nature as well as going through a long period in which I enjoyed my solitude. This isn't happening anymore and all that's left right now are my two cousins who I only sporadically speak to or am with.

Loneliness is undoubtedly awful and when its coupled with an intense internal feeling of worthlessness then life can become filled with dread and despair.
Two feelings I am very familiar with..
 
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SLB-Portu23

Guest
If you wanna talk with someone then feel free to message me, that goes for anyone really. I believe that loneliness can only be fully cured within the physical realm, with meaningful face to face interactions but having someone you can openly talk to even if just on a virtual platform is already a good help. I might have looked like a complete nutcase by now on the forum games section but when it comes to serious matters such as this one, I'm as assertive and down to Earth as humanely possible.
 

AceQuorthon

International Man of Mystery
If you wanna talk with someone then feel free to message me, that goes for anyone really. I believe that loneliness can only be fully cured within the physical realm, with meaningful face to face interactions but having someone you can openly talk to even if just on a virtual platform is already a good help. I might have looked like a complete nutcase by now on the forum games section but when it comes to serious matters such as this one, I'm as assertive and down to Earth as humanely possible.
Thank you, really. Do you have Discord?
 
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SLB-Portu23

Guest
Not at the moment. I've had some bad experiences on Discord so eventually decided to give it up but I do have Telegram which isn't that different tbh, I actually like the layout and interface more since you can use those neat sticker packs and watch videos on the spot.
 
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