Anyone else who is suffering from crippling loneliness?

[MetalWolfBruh]

Man... I feel like I should apologize for my latest reply. It wasn't helpful at all.
The Forum is a good place to find people, but I still think it is not enough to fight against the loneliness. I understand now that having friends, people you can directly talk to, is really important. At least that's what helped me to fight against the pessimistic thoughts.

If anyone still feels lonely or is looking for someone to chat with, I'm here. Hit me up and let's just write on Discord. I think a direct chat is so much better, especially with this kind of feelings.

But you are absolutely right, people are so into themselves these days, you could essentially be crying for help at the worst point in your life and that goes right over their heads, either because they don't know how to help, they just don't care, and/or they're distracted by consumerist items and every day nonsense.

 

[Minerva_Minx]

I feel for you, dude. My ex's family, even though they claimed they were accepting of people with mental illness, were very cruel to me whenever I was symptomatic. I couldn't stop crying once because of my anxiety towards his sister. I was afraid of her because she was very aggressive and rude and sort of reminded me of my abusive sister who gave me PTSD Nd while I cried she called me a "Little Crybaby". I also was told I was only allowed to cry in their spare bedroom until his heffer mother told me I wasn't supposed to cry in there either. She is the woman who married a pedophile and was a drunk for years. And my ex's sister self diagnosed herself with PTSD and told me I was faking the my PTSD that I was DIAGNOSED with at AGE EIGHT.
One time I was crying from anxiety, he kept yelling at me to stop crying and I finally said "fucking leave me the fuck alone" and his sister's 11-year old daughter on law told her what I said in her bedroom while he and I were in the living room and she comes out and starts screaming at me to leave and never come back. I was thrown out in pjs, socks, no undergarments, no phone and no key and I had to walk 3+ miles home. Well they called an ambulance on me because I was crying and saying i was gonna jump off the bridge downtown. I give them SOME kudos I guess. Afterwards she said "you only had to stay outside for 10 minutes. sorry I didn't tell you. I have anger issues and was protecting my kid" oh yes thats a good way to protect kids from The F word. I hate that woman so much. Tgey even took my kitten Prometheus away from me and told me I put my cat up for sale online. They are the worst people ever. I hate people so much!

What pisses me off is when not being in the right state of mind and people see you acting a little off, and then they get mad at you or uncomfortable, instead of acknowledging that the behavior is influenced by negative emotions or mental illness, they just use that to belittle you even more and call you a freak to others behind your back. Or, like when doctors see me nervous and anxious, they get mad at me and blow me off instead of trying to be understanding, being mad at me for being nervous, like I'm intentionally trying to annoy them, that should be a fucking clue for you to help me. Yeah, it's a very lonely world, and no second chances, because once you made the wrong impression the first time, you have to face some sort of repercussions and/or neglect.

Ouch. Not much I can say.

Hopefully it gets better, but yeah, wow.

 

[SLB-Portu23]

Man... I feel like I should apologize for my latest reply. It wasn't helpful at all.
The Forum is a good place to find people, but I still think it is not enough to fight against the loneliness. I understand now that having friends, people you can directly talk to, is really important. At least that's what helped me to fight against the pessimistic thoughts.

If anyone still feels lonely or is looking for someone to chat with, I'm here. Hit me up and let's just write on Discord. I think a direct chat is so much better, especially with this kind of feelings.

No need to apologise for being honest and frontal about how you feel, I'm sure some of us can relate to what you said, I certainly do no doubt. Meeting new people isn't the real issue here although that's what you'll usually be suggested, I mean, this is the golden age of the internet so finding people to banter with is pretty easy even if you barely leave your place. Thing is, talking with people alone is not a cure for loneliness, you may talk with dozens throughout each day and still feel lonely in the end, it has nothing to do with quantity and the quality aspect itself is very subjective since what some may see as a meaningful piece of interaction might not be perceived as such by others. To me, its all about continuity as no isolated conversation, as expansive and elaborated as it could possibly be will have any real lasting emotional impact unless it expands beyond a one instance affair on a similar level of intimacy. Trouble is, it often doesn't and its like every night a reset button is hit and all that has happened the previous day vanishes from the existential timeline so we need to start all over again and look to spark new conversations that will once more, be redundant into forgetfulness on the next day thus we are stuck with never ending unfulfilled expectations of possible good relationships which won't actually ever kickstart past the initial day of exposure. People might claim that we simply aren't trying hard enough but what are we supposed to do when nothing we say or do appears to influence the inevitable final outcome? When others are giving us the impression of not being interested in maintaining the connection alive nearly as much as we are what can it be done? Anyone with a little bit of dignity and self awareness will understand when their presence simply isn't welcome anymore and move away instead of keeping knocking at the same door and hear an annoyed grunt from the other side for then to be met with a blatantly fake smile as the door opens.

 

[Leeze]

I’ve dealt with loneliness for most of my life. I wish I could offer some great advice, but I really only have experience in avoiding those feelings instead of confronting them (which is likely part of the problem). For me, it tends to hit hardest when I see something spontaneous and heartwarming at work, or when I start comparing my social life to my peer’s. I recently watched a video that has helped me put my feelings into perspective, I hope it is of use to someone.

I may not be able to give any of you a hug, but if talking will help at all, please don’t hesitate to message me.

 

[AceQuorthon]

I’ve dealt with loneliness for most of my life. I wish I could offer some great advice, but I really only have experience in avoiding those feelings instead of confronting them (which is likely part of the problem). For me, it tends to hit hardest when I see something spontaneous and heartwarming at work, or when I start comparing my social life to my peer’s. I recently watched a video that has helped me put my feelings into perspective, I hope it is of use to someone.

I may not be able to give any of you a hug, but if talking will help at all, please don’t hesitate to message me.

I do feel ya, that’s when I feel the most lonely too :c
I hope you can feel good compared to me

 

[Stray Cat Terry]

Life socks when no one cares about you but only when you try to take off from this godforsaken world. You try to leave and everyone try to hold you in this world. After you cool down, they start not to care sheet about you again.

This is Terry's experience.

 

[MaetheDragon]

Oh boy, do I have a story on this topic-

Long story short, though, I’m a girl with Asperger’s Syndrome. Luckily, I was diagnosed with it at an early age. Can’t say the same for most other girls like me, but I digress.

Because of my condition, I’m an incredibly shy person irl. Even at work, I speak so softly, people can’t hear me sometimes. I usually walk through life without being noticed on the best of days- on my worst days, well, I just stop talking altogether. It’s crippling, sometimes.

I only ever managed to make true friends in high school, and I now lost two of my best friends for good. One hates me for no reason, and the other moved away. My third friend is always away at college, and without the whole group together, I doubt I’ll see him again.

I’m very lonely irl, frens. I only have my sister and my parents now... though I’m hoping to go to Anthro New England next year! Maybe I’ll make more real friends there.

 

[Leeze]

I do feel ya, that’s when I feel the most lonely too :c
I hope you can feel good compared to me

I’d prefer it if we were both doing good, but thank you!

 

[Heppi]

I’ve dealt with loneliness for most of my life. I wish I could offer some great advice, but I really only have experience in avoiding those feelings instead of confronting them (which is likely part of the problem). For me, it tends to hit hardest when I see something spontaneous and heartwarming at work, or when I start comparing my social life to my peer’s. I recently watched a video that has helped me put my feelings into perspective, I hope it is of use to someone.

I may not be able to give any of you a hug, but if talking will help at all, please don’t hesitate to message me.

Thank you for sharing the video! It was really good. The most important thing I learned from it, is that everyone feels loneliness in a different way. Everyone has to discover their own feelings and what exactly makes them feel that way. And then find a solution for it.

 

[MadManx]

I very much understand this and as time continues to go on in my life a lot of the people in my life move away and i tend to go out to my friends houses less and less now a days. I dont feel very happy where i live anymore because of how things are in my life with my friends moving out of my life. Ive been doing things i dont often do - I go on mile runs on the tredmill, donating blood, soon going to be going out to parks for an hour a day eventually. Im hoping in a couple of months when i do move out to my partners area ill start feeling better. Living in a concrete jungle isnt good for a human being, i wish to be in a more open... more green area.. maybe then ill be less alone to be completely honest!

 

[MaetheDragon]

I very much understand this and as time continues to go on in my life a lot of the people in my life move away and i tend to go out to my friends houses less and less now a days. I dont feel very happy where i live anymore because of how things are in my life with my friends moving out of my life. Ive been doing things i dont often do - I go on mile runs on the tredmill, donating blood, soon going to be going out to parks for an hour a day eventually. Im hoping in a couple of months when i do move out to my partners area ill start feeling better. Living in a concrete jungle isnt good for a human being, i wish to be in a more open... more green area.. maybe then ill be less alone to be completely honest!

I understand completely, fren! Not only about the initial issue of old friends, but there’s a reason why I don’t like cities that much. It feels so... lifeless sometimes. That’s why I miss living in Iowa... and being at my Grandma Hodges old farm. I used to play in the cornfields and play with horses at the edge of her property. You could see for miles there, too!

You should totally get out to the country! It’s very therapeutic even without buddies, lemme tell you.

 

[KD142000]

Oh boy, do I have a story on this topic-

Long story short, though, I’m a girl with Asperger’s Syndrome. Luckily, I was diagnosed with it at an early age. Can’t say the same for most other girls like me, but I digress.

Because of my condition, I’m an incredibly shy person irl. Even at work, I speak so softly, people can’t hear me sometimes. I usually walk through life without being noticed on the best of days- on my worst days, well, I just stop talking altogether. It’s crippling, sometimes.

I only ever managed to make true friends in high school, and I now lost two of my best friends for good. One hates me for no reason, and the other moved away. My third friend is always away at college, and without the whole group together, I doubt I’ll see him again.

I’m very lonely irl, frens. I only have my sister and my parents now... though I’m hoping to go to Anthro New England next year! Maybe I’ll make more real friends there.

I can relate to the speaking softly part and not really having any IRL friends.

Sometimes, people say I slur my words or don't speak properly. I end up having to repeat myself a couple times. I'm not sure why it happens, but it does. I was as quiet as a mouse way back when...pretty much never talking. (There's probably a section in some child psychology book that says that sort of thing is bad). I can't really say for sure if it's a bad thing or not...but it happened, regardless.

I haven't really had IRL friends. I never used to go out to do anything for fear of the outside world bullying me. I end up appearing awkward to everyone I meet, which I feel bad for. They don't know why I'm being so awkward and seeming like I want to get away.

I think high school was the worst time of my life. Shit at home and shit at school, too. There wasn't really any escape for me for 5 years. Thankfully it's different now and I hope to move out for good, next year. I'll have to save up for that, but it's all going to be worth it.

I'm sure that you will make more real friends, though. You'll soon find that friends that matter often just appear out of the blue, fren! Make sure your friends are good ones and don't let people take advantage of your good nature like I did. I owe several ex-'friends' of mine a square kick round the head for what pain they caused me.

 

[MadManx]

I understand completely, fren! Not only about the initial issue of old friends, but there’s a reason why I don’t like cities that much. It feels so... lifeless sometimes. That’s why I miss living in Iowa... and being at my Grandma Hodges old farm. I used to play in the cornfields and play with horses at the edge of her property. You could see for miles there, too!

You should totally get out to the country! It’s very therapeutic even without buddies, lemme tell you.

im excited to finally do so! i use to live with my grandparents when i was younger and that was the sticks! i still genuinely miss it! I started using the forums for the first time and that is starting to help step by step.... its a process : )

 

[Wolflyfe]

If anyone needs to talk or feels lonely please feel free to message me on here or discord. No one needs to feel lonely. I spend months on the road traveling and I understand what it's like to go days without human interaction. For me it's always 3-4am when the depression hits but the moment the sun comes up things get better but damn it feels like it never comes fast enough

 

[Simo]

Yeah...I have been very lonely these days to the point of hopless despair despite trying to hide this. And there is the feeling of being broke, without marketable skills or inclinations and that time is running out for me...also feelings of increasing alienation and distance...just not feeling good.

No computer access, no car, no job, no way to get around. No insurance and no healthcare.....Things did not work out and feel increasingly out of it...just not much to look forward to when I ge
t up despite me trying to be hopeful

And maybe not even access to this crappy phone to type on for long....feel like life is fading from me.

 

[KD142000]

Yeah...I have been very lonely these days to the point of hopless despair despite trying to hide this. And there is the feeling of being broke, without marketable skills or inclinations and that time is running out for me...also feelings of increasing alienation and distance...just not feeling good.

No computet access, no car, no job, no way to get around. Things did not work out and feel increasingly out of it...just not much to look forward to when I get up despite me trying to be hopeful

If I had enough money to help you out, I would. The only thing I could in theory help with would be computer access.

However, I will say that things don't quite work out for everybody. Even people who are successful probably assumed they'd never be. You've achieved more than you think. After all, you're still here after all this time...and have plenty of time left to spend.

You haven't had the greatest of times, that much is true. However, life stinks, no matter who you are.
The best I can hope for in life is a job doing manual labour, despite being a thinker, mostly. Can't get to a stage where my brain may be put to the best use.

I find that friends are a good enough reason to keep going. Makes life easier...and you end up helping each other get through it, as you go along.
*hugs*

 

[Ra'ara Su'nai]

I hardly have any RL friends, and I'm still living under my grandmother's thumb because I can't afford to move out while I'm paying off my car loan. I just want to escape, and live among my furry brethren. I've been trying to get plans together to get a furry roomy who can help me move out, but he's equally held under his mother's thumb. Where's the escape pod?!

 

[Simo]

Thanks @KD142000...I think what's hard is that so many things have imploded at once...and there's nobody around here to visit and no transportation so I feel trapped these days. That and the years have ticked by and are running out...I think if I was in my 20s still it'd be easier, this lack of hope comes from having failed so late in life that it's hard to have energy...and with no access to therapy anymore and all that I had a few months ago, I'm sinking fast and afraid.

@Ra'ara Su'nai : I had periods when things did go pretty much ok...periods of years I was reasonably happy and optimitic, exploring life, taking risks, full of ideas: I think this is still possible there, maybe here too...but it was always very fragile.

 

[A.random.foxxo]

I do sadly. Its hard for me to care about/get attached to people because of my depression making me think that im not worth it and my dad is is in the navy, so im always moving, so i think 'whats the point? im going to lose them sooner or later..' and with that mindset, it makes it hard to make friends, relationships, etc.

 

[Kit H. Ruppell]

I think I've reached that point when it comes to romance. Living in a furry house means being surrounded with company every day, but friends aren't enough. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just undateable.

 

[Kinare]

Since high school ended and all of my friends moved out-of-state I've been friendless irl - 13 years. I've made attempts at finding more, but because I'm shy and hideous no one gives me a fair chance and tbh the people I've met irl are just not people I would get along with anyways. I've struggled making friends online, which has been the only place I can manage to open up much, but currently my only "friends" are not so great. I have no "best friend", just a handful of casuals that wouldn't really notice if I just vanished, or if they did they wouldn't think anything of it.

I've never had an irl mate or even a fling, the closest thing was a guy in high school who was basically a stalker who was obsessed in not nice ways. In high school I had a few internet boyfriends here and there, just stupid kid things really. After high school there were a couple other things, both of which have left horrible scars I'll probably never get over and are probably why I haven't had a relationship since.

I'm 99% sure I will never find a mate at this point, and I'm content with that (or so I've fooled myself into thinking), but I'm not content with having zero close friends. Problem is, I'm a mental case and not perfect, and getting worse and worse as time goes on. I can't afford therapy, so it's just a matter of time before a mental breakdown takes me. I'm old fashioned in a lot of ways, which means I find it hard to relate to my own generation or anyone younger, and everyone older already has a life with friends or doesn't have the same hobbies. I try to stay somewhat hopeful and keep trying to meet people... but it feels so pointless. Every time I find someone new to talk to something always ruins it; we don't have much in common to keep talking, schedules won't align at all, they can't handle my weird quirks or I can't handle theirs, turns out they're an asshole, or they're a mental case too and it clashes with my issues.