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Are We Friends?

Cocobanana

Member
Given how life is a gray area, there isn't a standard for determining how much of yourself is not enough or too much within the context of a friendship. My current understanding is that a casual friend is someone you talk to from time to time and will maybe high-five at local events. A good (or best) friend is someone you talk to several times a week, maybe even daily in some rare cases, you have each others' phone number, and the person who actually cares about the bummer of the day you had and looks forward to trading more personal stories.

These are rough guidelines, so feel free to fill them in, but the purpose of the thread is to ask this: How do you define the difference between a neutral party, a casual friend and a best friend? I am eager to hear different opinions in this regard, given how much harder I've been working to socialize better with people (especially away from the internet).
 

Ayattar

Banned
Banned
I have only one friend and I'm normally meeting with him once per two weeks (and he don't even live too far, same city, neighbouring districts). Apart from that we don't talk at all, just SMS when we need to determine the date of the next meeting.

I have few close acquaintainces/colleagues, who aren't my friends that I'm meeting more often. So the frequency of getting together is irrelevant.

Also, please use wider vocabulary, I find it really confusing when ango-sphere representatives use the word "friend" to describe every single kind of positive relationship. God damn, even when you need to describe a partner you use "girl-friend" or boy-friend". Blurry as fuck,
 

Cocobanana

Member
I have only one friend and I'm normally meeting with him once per two weeks (and he don't even live too far, same city, neighbouring districts). Apart from that we don't talk at all, just SMS when we need to determine the date of the next meeting.

I have few close acquaintainces/colleagues, who aren't my friends that I'm meeting more often. So the frequency of getting together is irrelevant.

Also, please use wider vocabulary, I find it really confusing when ango-sphere representatives use the word "friend" to describe every single kind of positive relationship. God damn, even when you need to describe a partner you use "girl-friend" or boy-friend". Blurry as fuck,

The blurriness you speak of is the reason I'm reaching out. In America (and maybe other majority English-speaking countries), the term friend can mean a plethora of different things. It can mean a Facebook friend, a childhood friend, a classmate you're on decent terms with, a not-quite boyfriend, a friend with benefits, etc.
 

Ayattar

Banned
Banned
Indeed, and it's terrible. As well as the lack of the personal endings. That's why I automatically assume that everyone in the .com .net .uk .us etc. internet is male unless they have their sex specified. And that's why for a whole month I thought that Batty was a female, because he's all the time saying "my boyfriend this, my boyfriend that, together with my boyfriend" but is never specyfying his own gender :D

But still you have:
- buddy
- mate
- pal
- accquintance
- colleague
- friend
- lover
- fellow
- comrade
- best man
and probably few more, which I don't remember.
 
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Hinalle K.

Banned
Banned
I'd say a true friend is someone you can confide in 100%? Dunno. Going by mushy TV-dramas and JRPGs here.
 

Casual Cat

Member
I don't use labels like that, because I'm not a fascist.


Friendship is a spectrum, and every relationship/acquaintance/whatever is different.
 

Cocobanana

Member
I don't use labels like that, because I'm not a fascist.


Friendship is a spectrum, and every relationship/acquaintance/whatever is different.

Referring to someone as a fascist is also labeling them, FYI. And I'm working with loose guidelines, it can help to know if someone considers you to be more valuable to them than any stranger off the street.
 
I think this thread has derailed a bit already. I'm pretty sure OP was asking for everyones personal definition, not a universal one.

For me its kind of like this. I only consider two of the people in my life to be really good friends because they are the only ones who I go out of my way to talk to or hang out with. With everyone else, if they approach me first I am more than happy to chat or hang out, but I wouldn't really go out of my way to approach them because they aren't as important to me as the specific two people.

Then there are the online friends I have, who I think belong on an entirely different spectrum. There are my two buddies (don't know what it is with me and 2's) who I have known since forever and have maintained steady contact with over the years. Everyone else will come and go.
 

DrDingo

Moved to phoenix.corvidae.org with the others
I think that friendship is not a shared bond between two people. It is a belief.
Say, person A can think that person B is their friend. Person B might think otherwise, but regardless person B is still a friend in the eyes of person A.

A good friendship is simply one in which each person sees the other as a friend. They share their feelings, in other words.
 

Hikaru Okami

Radiant Wolf
Trust issues have only given me 1 best friend. That's all I have that's all I need. If I have another, fine lucky me.
Everyone else is either people I talk to on occasion or people I talk to a lot and have a lot in common. I use levels because obvious rpg gamer here.
Level 0: people I hate
Level 1: people I talk to sometimes
Level 2: people I talk to a lot, but knows nothing of me
Level 3: people I talk to a lot, but knows everything about me (very rare)
Level 4: Wolves/dogs :V
 

Real_Redwolf

I also go by Alexis
A friend to me is someone that you hang out with, see on a regular basis, and accepts you for who you are!
 
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Zerig

So Graceful and Phallic
Banned
A friend is someone you can take a bro-shower with, but without it being gay.
 
You could also divy it up by what you talk about

0: I refuse to speak to them (I don't know that I have any of these, myself)
1: The weather, and other inane bullshit that I only respond to so they don't realize I'm a serial killer.
2: Listen politely while they ramble about politics, religion, or any other snooze-fest of a topic that they care abou
3: An actual conversation where I'm involved and want their opinions on fun topics like comics, beer, and farming
4: In-depth discussion of our psyches, motivations, and weirdnesses
5: What kind of things we like to masturbate to
5': Why, psychologically speaking, we think we might like masturbating to said things


Level 5s are like the ice cream on the food pyramid. 3 and up I consider a friend. 2s often seem to think I am their friend, but I do not reciprocate.

A friend is someone you can take a bro-shower with, but without it being gay.

I've slept with and showered alongside lots of guys whom I don't consider friends, without it being gay.
 
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Distorted

Active Member
I've had friends. I don't know if I've ever had a best friend. Some people really stick out in my mind though, because either we knew each other for so long or we just clicked. I remember the first time someone ever listened to me. I mean I listen to people all the time, and they don't really ask about me or my thoughts. I was ok with that because I was used to it. But people who I can share things with as well is what I'd consider a true friend. To be invested in your life and likes as much as you are in theirs. Maybe that's asking too much. I tend to have high expectations of people.
 

Cocobanana

Member
Maybe that's asking too much. I tend to have high expectations of people.


High expectations are fine as long as they aren't higher than the ones you set for yourself I imagine.
 

Torrijos-sama

The Artist Formerly Known as Jesusfish
A friend's a friend who knows what being a friend is.
 

Distorted

Active Member
High expectations are fine as long as they aren't higher than the ones you set for yourself I imagine.
I have high expectations for myself as well. I'm never quite satisfied with most of the things I do, and I'm always in the belief that things could be done better. I'm accused of being too serious and get told to lighten up a lot.
In relation to friends, it can be stressful because I analyze and criticize everything they do in my head. It's taken a long time learning to be reasonable with how I view people. I think I learned it from my family because they all seem to be overly critical and distrusting of people.
 

Butters Shikkon

Patron Saint of Queers
A friend is someone you can take a bro-shower with, but without it being gay.

Sometimes it can even be gay ;3c
 

Feste

I haven't found an answer yet
A friend is someone who amuses you enough to keep around. A best friend is for vulnerable people who find someone they can connect with through some sort of similar idea or concept. A relationship-type friend is a best friend you want to f**k. A f**k buddy is a friend you want to f**k.
 

Batty Krueger

DJ Nailbunny
You could also divy it up by what you talk about

0: I refuse to speak to them (I don't know that I have any of these, myself)
1: The weather, and other inane bullshit that I only respond to so they don't realize I'm a serial killer.
2: Listen politely while they ramble about politics, religion, or any other snooze-fest of a topic that they care abou
3: An actual conversation where I'm involved and want their opinions on fun topics like comics, beer, and farming
4: In-depth discussion of our psyches, motivations, and weirdnesses
5: What kind of things we like to masturbate to
5': Why, psychologically speaking, we think we might like masturbating to said things


Level 5s are like the ice cream on the food pyramid. 3 and up I consider a friend. 2s often seem to think I am their friend, but I do not reciprocate.



I've slept with and showered alongside lots of guys whom I don't consider friends, without it being gay.
It wasnt gay cuz your balls didnt touch. Try harder next time.
 
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