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Are you Asexual, and what does it mean to you?

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
I'm just curious as to how many people here believe they are asexual. Also what to see people's views on the subject.

I am asexual. This is something I've always been, but I'll admit that I didn't accept being such until sometime within the past couple of years. I used to regret it. Being asexual doesn't mean you lack the ability to have romantic feelings for someone, and it is hard to find anyone who is ok with being with someone that doesn't find them attractive. In the sense of wanting to have sex with them, anyways.
All my relationships have feel through because they'd complain that we just don't have sex anymore, or not enough. I'd try and explain to them that it's not always fun for me and that just because I don't desire it doesn't mean I don't love them.
It seems that everyone who finds they like me and be in a relationship always wants to start it off with sex. Which makes me feel uncomfortable :/
Maybe one day I'll find someone who is ok with a sexless relationship, but that'll be hard xD So for now I'm ok with being single. I don't want to be with someone who isn't happy because of the way I am.
 

MadKiyo

Imma bat in yer rafters
While I wouldn't consider myself one, it's hard for me to find people attractive. Not by any means saying they're not good looking, just nothing seems to strike my fancy. So I can relate to that somewhat. But honestly, at the end of the day... It's life. Doesn't matter what you have or don't have, as long as your happy with it. Having a relationship is not a necessary accomplishment. Not saying that to be used as an excuse, but a valid reason.
 
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Helios276

Guest
I'm still discovering who I am , and I personally think there's nothing wrong with being asexual , however there are pros and cons to being asexual.
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
While I wouldn't consider myself one, it's hard for me to find people attractive. Not by any means saying they're not good looking, just nothing seems to strike my fancy. So I can relate to that somewhat. But honestly, at the end of the day... It's life. Doesn't matter what you have or don't have, as long as your happy with it. Having a relationship is not a necessary accomplishment. Not saying that to be used as an excuse, but a valid reason.

Same. People would ask me if I found a certain person attractive. By society standards they would be, but I didn't feel anything. I have to actually get to know a person to find an attraction towards them, but the attraction isn't by any means sexually. More.. 'Hey, this person is really cool! I want to be their possibly forever best friend!'
Unfortunately, the majority of people want more from a relationship than being 'best friends', and that's something I can't physically provide. Better yet, something I don't feel physically desired to provide.
But yes, it is life and I am happy being single. This doesn't mean a part of me wouldn't mind finding my 'true love'; someone who'd be willing to be my forever best friend, and be ok with sex being well.. Super awkward and few and far between xD
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
I'm still discovering who I am , and I personally think there's nothing wrong with being asexual , however there are pros and cons to being asexual.

I've been battling this for a long ass time. I defiantly has its pros and cons. Some of the cons I've already mentioned.
I've been in denial and didn't want to accept it. Thought maybe I just needed to get used to the physical act, but to no prevail. Many a relationship was ruined because of it, but I've learned to accept it as just being a part of who I am.
One of the pros I've found is, being ok with being single xD
 
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Helios276

Guest
Its very hard at times because I want to know who I am now! I have conflicting thoughts about my sexuality they will mostly likely continue for a long time, being out of high school helps a lot.
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
Its very hard at times because I want to know who I am now! I have conflicting thoughts about my sexuality they will mostly likely continue for a long time, being out of high school helps a lot.

Oh I know it haha I'm the same way. Been asking that question for years. It really doesn't help that life is always changing you. Most people with an open mind's opinions tend to change as the years go on. Not greatly, but they will modify. Some of the things I believed 5 years ago aren't the same beliefs that I have now.
I'm glad to say, however, that the reason is due to knowing more. I know I don't know everything, and even if I argue my opinions with someone who has complete different ones, there is a chance that some parts of their opinions will effect mine.
It's not uncommon for people to know completely know themselves. Some people describe themselves by mentioning the things they like. Though your interests play a big role in who you are, that isn't all of whom you are. It's a complicated question that should always be asked of yourself. Being self-aware is a good thing, and something a lot of people tend to not give attention too.
It's ok to change and it is ok to not know yourself completely. You'll make self doscoveries as you go on, just experiment. Test the waters, and one day you'll realize you know yourself a lot more than you thought. However that won't come to be if you don't go out and try this self discovery.
 

Storok

670 blp
is habing so much sex that you cant come anymore also considered asexual when it just gets boring?
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
is habing so much sex that you cant come anymore also considered asexual when it just gets boring?

No, not really. The only way it could be considered as such is if you never desire it anymore xD Personally I've never really desired it. My first time was just, "That's it?" Was disappointed haha
 
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Helios276

Guest
Oh I know it haha I'm the same way. Been asking that question for years. It really doesn't help that life is always changing you. Most people with an open mind's opinions tend to change as the years go on. Not greatly, but they will modify. Some of the things I believed 5 years ago aren't the same beliefs that I have now.
I'm glad to say, however, that the reason is due to knowing more. I know I don't know everything, and even if I argue my opinions with someone who has complete different ones, there is a chance that some parts of their opinions will effect mine.
It's not uncommon for people to know completely know themselves. Some people describe themselves by mentioning the things they like. Though your interests play a big role in who you are, that isn't all of whom you are. It's a complicated question that should always be asked of yourself. Being self-aware is a good thing, and something a lot of people tend to not give attention too.
It's ok to change and it is ok to not know yourself completely. You'll make self doscoveries as you go on, just experiment. Test the waters, and one day you'll realize you know yourself a lot more than you thought. However that won't come to be if you don't go out and try this self discovery.
True, do you have a fear of having intimate relations with someone? I feel like im the only one that if someone wants to have intimate relations , I would like for us to get tested , and I feel like that's going to be an issue with trying to meet other you know? I also have fears of contracting something as well, and how do you feel about having kids?
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
True, do you have a fear of having intimate relations with someone? I feel like im the only one that if someone wants to have intimate relations , I would like for us to get tested , and I feel like that's going to be an issue with trying to meet other you know? I also have fears of contracting something as well, and how do you feel about having kids?

Sadly with this day and age that's not a bad fear to have. Everyone thinks it is cool to have sex. Especially at a young, impressionable, age. It can, however, make your partner feel insulted if you was to ask them to get tested. I was always afraid of being tested. Last thing I'd want to do was find out I had something xD
I was tested, for a reason I won't mention (nothing big), and found I didn't have anything, though.
So I won't lie, that will be an issue when trying to find someone.
Eh I don't really want to have kids. I'm not ambitious enough to have kids. Meaning I don't care about making more money than I need and am ok with living with my parents, haha. Also, I'd had to find a life partner before I'd even think of having a child. I'd do everything I could for the child, if it happened and I had one, but I'm not going to strive for one.
But... Alas I've pretty much given up sex, unless I find a partner, and it's every now and than (for their sake), so the chances of a child are pretty slim to none :x
 
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Helios276

Guest
yeah, you can buy a lot of stuff , if you don't have kids , and plus you don't have to deal with temper tantrums! I can hardly handle crying babies as it is and crying kids makes me cringe.
 
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Helios276

Guest
so screw having kids, idk I may change my mind within the next 10 years but as of right now screw having kids.
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
yeah, you can buy a lot of stuff , if you don't have kids , and plus you don't have to deal with temper tantrums! I can hardly handle crying babies as it is and crying kids makes me cringe.

Haha kids, unfortunately, come in all ages xD I don't want to deal with a partner who's a kid, either.
 
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Helios276

Guest
L
Haha kids, unfortunately, come in all ages xD I don't want to deal with a partner who's a kid, either.
Lol , that would suck, idk how kids who are 17,16, or even 15 year olds having kids , what's wrong with society no wonder the earth is overpopulated. What's wrong with society?
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
L

Lol , that would suck, idk how kids who are 17,16, or even 15 year olds having kids , what's wrong with society no wonder the earth is overpopulated. What's wrong with society?

I have no idea, man xD Very good question, indeed.
 

ZacAttackk

professional procrastinator
I'm not asexual, but I have never developed a crush for absolutely anybody ever. Although I'm only 16 it makes me feel like I'm not going to :S
Maybe one day something inside me will 'switch' and I'll know what it's like
 

RinkuTheRuffian

Punished "Venom" Rinku
Everybody I know who is aesexual is an unreliable source, it's so obvious they're in a stupid phase that it's hard to be around them. It's a truly weird and rare lifestyle, I mean, with procreation being burned into our instincts and all. But it's not unbelievable that our minds have devolved from sex for procreation to sex for pleasure to sex for money, so hearing of someone who naturally isn't turned on at all isn't a big surprise.

But you're not fucking special.
 

Somnium

The Sparklewolf
Banned
sometimes I do feel like asexual but I guess changes in hormones are the one to blame in my case
 

Ahkrin Descol

RELIC Specialist
I can definitely sympathise with the awkwardness once a relationship kicks off. I just ended a 3 1/2 year relationship due to my feelings only going as far as caring for the other immensely, sadly it wasn't reciprocated at that level alone.

I think anyone that's asexual has that 'am I a freak?' phase because it's not widely known about and, more often than not, is completely unexpected by the other; it makes you question yourself.
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
I'm not asexual, but I have never developed a crush for absolutely anybody ever. Although I'm only 16 it makes me feel like I'm not going to :S
Maybe one day something inside me will 'switch' and I'll know what it's like

Idk, dude, hopefully one day it will feel. If it doesn't, no big deal unless you really want a life partner. If you happen to not feel the sense of loneliness, that's not a horrible thing.
Me personally, though, I've had crushes before. I did have a small drive in my younger years, but as the years went by, they just depleted to basically 0%-rare.
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
Everybody I know who is aesexual is an unreliable source, it's so obvious they're in a stupid phase that it's hard to be around them. It's a truly weird and rare lifestyle, I mean, with procreation being burned into our instincts and all. But it's not unbelievable that our minds have devolved from sex for procreation to sex for pleasure to sex for money, so hearing of someone who naturally isn't turned on at all isn't a big surprise.

But you're not fucking special.

I'd say it is unreliable. A lot of people today (especially younger and more impressionable people) are going through these 'phases'. Either they are gay, bisexual, transgender or asexual.
By no means do I think I'm 'special' though. :/ I actually don't like being as such. Been in denial of it for 20 years (since puberty, I'm 29).
Personally I think it's due to having a very low dose of hormones, but I'd have to see a doctor to figure that one out. I know it's something that's just messed up in my genetics.
I don't know how other asexuals act but I don't try to act weird xD I'm pretty disconnected from society, it feels, though. I don't think that's a trait, though, but I'm not sure haha but... Dude I wish it was a stupid phase :/ truly.
 

DravenDonovan

You can call me Oni~
sometimes I do feel like asexual but I guess changes in hormones are the one to blame in my case

I think Hormones play a big role in it, actually. I think the reason why I am is because my body doesn't produce enough of them.
 

Somnium

The Sparklewolf
Banned
I think Hormones play a big role in it, actually. I think the reason why I am is because my body doesn't produce enough of them.

yea I noticed quite a significant increase in my hornyness when I adjusted my sleep patterns and diet to increase testosterone levels. I'm getting too horny now tbh and that is starting to annoy me
 
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