Wow, so many things you wrote fit my experience too. Toxic family? Check. Emotional supporter, A.K.A. stress ball? Check. You didn't mention passive-aggressive behavior, but it often shows up in these toxic family situations. It did for mine.Well, this topic is really timely...I've been struggling with this a lot lately. I've gone through so many stages of denial and aversion to dating practices that I've let myself get quite a bit behind. But honestly I think I was just scared. I've lived a very sheltered life with a toxic family unit that basically co-opted me into husbandry for my two female family members, playing the role of supporter emotionally. It was codependant and awful. I got out a about a year and a half ago, and have bounced around the internet trying to get close to and have healthy relationships with people I met on there...I found a good few very good friends, but none are near me and it's left me feeling very alone.
All of this has sort of led me to realize I wanted a relationship...something I denied for years because was terrified of the bleak outlook for a sheltered guy so far behind everyone else, with ZERO experience in these things. And it's pretty crushing even now, as I try to salvage some kind of future from the really rough start I was given. That's why I'm here, trying to meet people...it's really hard, because I don't naturally seek social interaction, I have to force myself. And worse is that I discovered I'm demi, so it's exceedingly difficult for me to feel anything for a person unless I'm already close to them. :'3
It's helpful to see some of the similar stories here though. :3 were a lot of you raised very sheltered?
Luckily that's in the past for me. But it sucked for awhile because I still felt like I was behind everyone else. No matter how fast I ran, I could never seem to catch up. The good news is that what most of my peers were running towards (starting families), was not my path. Although I still get criticism from people that disagree with my life choices, I no longer feel behind because I am making my own path. Still, I would prefer to have a lifelong mate. I've dated a few people who expected me to know certain things about relationships despite my relative lack of experience... and were unwilling to teach me. I guess those people probably weren't good matches for me, but it still hurts.
I only know the dictionary definition of demisexual, but it doesn't sound all that different from wanting an emotional connection with someone before getting physical. And that seems pretty common to me. Do I have it wrong?