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Bisexuality

Surgat

Where is your mod now?
Stevethefox said:
If you're bisexual you're gay,

That's like saying "if you're gay you just haven't met the right woman yet," or "everybody is bisexual/at least a little bisexual:" bigoted and stupid.

Stevethefox said:
it's very rare that someone who considers themselves gay has actually never done anything with women.

Okay. What's your point? Are you suggesting that since some people who have sex with both men and women are gay/predominantly homosexual, all people who have sex with men and women are gay? Or something else?
 

Kankaru

Member
Surgat said:
Stevethefox said:
it's very rare that someone who considers themselves gay has actually never done anything with women.

Okay. What's your point? Are you suggesting that since some people who have sex with both men and women are gay/predominantly homosexual, all people who have sex with men and women are gay? Or something else?

Their point is that the only way you can be gay is if you've done sexual things with the opposite gender. Which is a very stupid idea.

It's about 50/50 in my opinion. Some people turn gay because of things that happened with the opposite sex. And some people are gay with no sexual experiences whatsoever. You don't have to have sex with a certain gender to find out what your sexuality is. Some people are gay their whole lives. Others become gay after years of failed heterosexual relationships.
 

Fesworks

New Member
That might bring up the whole "Is it nature or nurture?" type of argument.

Personally I think it is partially genetics and partially choice.

Genetics in the fact that everyone has a genetic pre-disposition of what they are attracted to. This could also be modified, adapted, or amplify through nuture... experiences we've had, influences we've been exposed to, encounters we've been through... at subconsious and concious levels.

One can choose to act on what we are attracted to at different levels and with certain persons or not.... like if we choose to seek the things we are naturally and conditionally attracted to, with a person of the same sex or not.... and sometimes, what we are attracted to is specifically relative to a specific sex.


hmmm.. I'm not sure if I am making sense, or properly conveying what I mean.
 

boywonder

Member
Fesworks said:
That might bring up the whole "Is it nature or nurture?" type of argument.

Personally I think it is partially genetics and partially choice.

Genetics in the fact that everyone has a genetic pre-disposition of what they are attracted to. This could also be modified, adapted, or amplify through nuture... experiences we've had, influences we've been exposed to, encounters we've been through... at subconsious and concious levels.

One can choose to act on what we are attracted to at different levels and with certain persons or not.... like if we choose to seek the things we are naturally and conditionally attracted to, with a person of the same sex or not.... and sometimes, what we are attracted to is specifically relative to a specific sex.


hmmm.. I'm not sure if I am making sense, or properly conveying what I mean.
I think you're making great sense. Actually, I think you've summed up the idea of how sexuality works almost perfectly. (I say "almost" because human sexuality is a weird, weird thing, and I doubt we'll ever figure it out completely.)

Way to go! C:

Kankaru said:
Some people turn gay because of things that happened with the opposite sex.
I wouldn't call them gay. Unfortunately messed up, maybe, unless they are truly happy and able to have a healthy relationship with their partner.
Kankaru said:
Others become gay after years of failed heterosexual relationships.
LOLOLOLO
Then why isn't, like, 90% of the population gay? :/
 

Cygnus421

Member
i dont use sexual orientation lables anymore... i think they're a waste of time. There's no real reason to segregate yourself or others just because of what you do when your bedroom door is closed.

Also, i refuse to believe that every one in this world is 100 percent straight, or 100 percent gay. I hate people who assume that if you sleep with the same sex once, that automatically makes you gay. That doesn't make you gay, that makes you kinky. I know as a fact that if i ever did anything with someone of the same sex, i wouldn't dump my girlfriend and be gay the rest of my life.
 
Meh, either way it's like more of a language argument here. People use words differently from one person to the next. It's just easier to say one syllable than to have a long description of your preferences everyt ime the subject arises.
 

Kankaru

Member
You have some good points boywonder and Fesworks.

To boywonder:
In response to your "Why isn't 90% of the world gay" comment. Thats funny, by the way. ^^ Anyways.. That one doesn't happen often. But sometimes people who have many horribly failed hetero relationships start to wonder if they are meant to be with a person of the opposite sex. So they turn to homosexuality. But most people (Like that 90% you mentioned, lol) wouldn't ever dream of even being bi-curious. There are too many homophobes in the world.

To Fesworks:
"Is it nature or nurture?" is a good question. And I agree with your explanation for it. You hit it dead on in my opinion. But boywonder is right about that being something the world may never fully understand.
It all really depends on the person, you know? Some people can't help their feelings, others are able to choose. Like bisexuals. We can choose the way we want to be. Since we are attracted to both genders, we can choose to be bisexual, gay, or straight. That leads to the argument of "If a bisexual gets married to a certain gender, wouldn't that make them gay or straight instead of bi?"
I don't really believe it's our choice who we fall in love with. Sure, it's our choice who we date or have sexual relations with. But you can't really help who you love. Thats just my opinion though.
 

Mortane

New Member
On the "if a bisexual gets married" point . . . just 'cause you're married doesn't mean you can't scope out the scene, eh? ^_^

I also reckon that whether you're gay, bi, or straight has a lot more to do with who you're sexually attracted to than who you love. But I tend to be not overly sentimental. (Plus, hey, totally possible to love without bein' sexually attracted. ^_^)
 

Oni

Member
Mortane said:
On the "if a bisexual gets married" point . . . just 'cause you're married doesn't mean you can't scope out the scene, eh? ^_^

I also reckon that whether you're gay, bi, or straight has a lot more to do with who you're sexually attracted to than who you love. But I tend to be not overly sentimental. (Plus, hey, totally possible to love without bein' sexually attracted. ^_^)
*concurs*(disregarding the scoping the scene part) Although everyone has their own definition of love, and honestly some do not have a definition of it. I am still building my definition of love, hmm.

- Close to unconditional fondness, ...
 

Fesworks

New Member
Mortane said:
(Plus, hey, totally possible to love without bein' sexually attracted. ^_^)



I know a friend who might have been in such a relationship. Though if you don;t find a person who is also not interested in a sexual relationship, you are basically gonna fuck things up. For most people, as far as I know, and in my experience, a healthy, satisfying sexual relationship (in addition to communication) is critical for the success of most any relationships.
 
i think bisexuality can sometimes be a cover up for straight up (pardon) gay. maybe it could be just someone realizing that they like guys more and more, like myself. i was "bisexual" for about 3 years before i realized that women really dont do anything for me. it could also be the other way around, like a gay guy going straight.

or in the end it could just be that the guy isnt bi at all; he's just greedy! ;)

or maybe he's just bi. lol

besides, most girls that say that theyre bi, arent really; theyre just looking for attention, and thats the only way that they think theyll get it. bi girls, truly bi girls, please dont misunderstand that, most (about 90%) of my friends are either bi or gay. i know that about 70% of the girls that are bi are bi for the reasons i just described.
 
Fesworks said:
That might bring up the whole "Is it nature or nurture?" type of argument.

Personally I think it is partially genetics and partially choice.

Genetics in the fact that everyone has a genetic pre-disposition of what they are attracted to. This could also be modified, adapted, or amplify through nuture... experiences we've had, influences we've been exposed to, encounters we've been through... at subconsious and concious levels.

One can choose to act on what we are attracted to at different levels and with certain persons or not.... like if we choose to seek the things we are naturally and conditionally attracted to, with a person of the same sex or not.... and sometimes, what we are attracted to is specifically relative to a specific sex.


hmmm.. I'm not sure if I am making sense, or properly conveying what I mean.

now right here, you make a very interesting claim. i personally believe that its a mixture of both. my mother is a lesbian, and my sister is bi...somewhat. i myself am about 98.9 percent gay. im sure if the right woman were to come along, under the right circumstances, id be willing, but until then, im more than happy with my boyfriend.

now, saying that my mother is a lesbian makes a certain point. the fact that i grew up not seeing my father but once every couple of years, does make me predisposed to be gay, because i grew up around it, and have been surrounded with it my entire life. if i had my father around growing up, who knows? (although i have a sneaking suspicion that my father is actually bi...)

i dont know if i really came across right here, im running on very little sleep and insomna is never good.

hope i made more sense than i think! lol.
 

boywonder

Member
WARNING: TL;DR

Kankaru said:
But sometimes people who have many horribly failed hetero relationships start to wonder if they are meant to be with a person of the opposite sex. So they turn to homosexuality.
Some people do do that, yes, but that's more a case of "jailhouse gay" than anything, and they aren't really gay--just taking what they've decided they can get. And even then they're still unable to have relationships. On the other hand, this scenario does work sometimes--but rarely. Usually they were in deep denial to start with, so it's not really a case of "turning to" homosexuality.
OR MAYBE I'M JUST PREJUDICED LOL IDK


Also, I want to say something here: I'm a little uncomfortable with the word choice when it comes to sexuality. :I It depends on the context, of course, but it feels like there's too much room for misinterpretation.

Oni said:
Although everyone has their own definition of love, and honestly some do not have a definition of it. I am still building my definition of love, hmm.

- Close to unconditional fondness, ...
What is love, baby don't hurt me
lol
But yeah, that's another weird thing about us. We should set parameters for love and then everybody will be happy! >:[

demonwerewolf110 said:
i think bisexuality can sometimes be a cover up for straight up (pardon) gay. maybe it could be just someone realizing that they like guys more and more, like myself. i was "bisexual" for about 3 years before i realized that women really dont do anything for me. it could also be the other way around, like a gay guy going straight.
and
words
Yes, bisexuality can be a transition point of sorts in the coming out process. I haven't heard of it working the other way, though.

And re the genetics debate: Just want to add that even if others in your family aren't 'genetically' bisexual/gay/what have you, your genes can still manifest that way. For example, nobody in my family--even as far back as my great-great-grandfather on both sides--is deaf, but I am. :/ It's the same idea with being transgender and/or gay.
 

Kankaru

Member
boywonder said:
And re the genetics debate: Just want to add that even if others in your family aren't 'genetically' bisexual/gay/what have you, your genes can still manifest that way. For example, nobody in my family--even as far back as my great-great-grandfather on both sides--is deaf, but I am. :/ It's the same idea with being transgender and/or gay.

Yeah, absolutely NO ONE in my present life's family had ever been anywhere near being homosexual. All full out straights in my gene pool. Lol. I was raised thinking homosexuality was a sin that would land me in hell, and the cristian religion was the only way. Now I'm Bi-Lesbian, polytheistic, and fuckin proud of it! :wink:
 

Frisky1753

狐を殺すのに、兎を寄越すな。
Man this is really bad karma but my grandpa for the most part seems pretty damn heterosexual, but he always gets confused by people on bikes and stuff. Like he's into it until he drives ahead and sees that it's a guy with a ponytail. :oops:
 

net-cat

Infernal Kitty
If I must classify myself, I generally classify myself as "tentatively bisexual." Basically, I have really good reason to believe that I'm bisexual. (I mean, just look at my porn collection for a clue.) I have not, however, ever put this to a test. It the classic "It looks good on paper, now you have to test it." situation.

I could probably get away with classifying myself as pansexual. But I'm not entirely certain what that means, nor do I care enough to go research it. :p
 

Kankaru

Member
net-cat said:
If I must classify myself, I generally classify myself as "tentatively bisexual." Basically, I have really good reason to believe that I'm bisexual. (I mean, just look at my porn collection for a clue.) I have not, however, ever put this to a test. It the classic "It looks good on paper, now you have to test it." situation.

I could probably get away with classifying myself as pansexual. But I'm not entirely certain what that means, nor do I care enough to go research it. :p

Well you don't have to actually do anything sexual with a person of the same sex, or have an actual relationship with one either, in order to be bi.
If you are turned on by, or attracted to the same and opposite genders in any way, then you are, in fact, bisexual. I hate how so many people think you have to have "sex" with someone of the same sex in order to be bi or gay. Experience with sexual interactions have nothing to do with your sexuality.
 

Kankaru

Member
I for one have never had any sexual interactions with a woman. I have never even been in a true relationship with one. But I absolutely love women ^.^
 

Get-dancing

Member
Kankaru said:
I for one have never had any sexual interactions with a woman.

On that. Ive always wondered. How do two women, um, enjoy themselfs? I mean its just two holes, I dont get it.:|
 

Oni

Member
Get-dancing said:
Kankaru said:
I for one have never had any sexual interactions with a woman.

On that. Ive always wondered. How do two women, um, enjoy themselfs? I mean its just two holes, I dont get it.:|
They eat popsicles.

popsicle-insertion.jpg


Sheesh! I thought everyone knew that~!
 
Well there'd have to be bisexuals, else there would be no explanation for the fact that I've been sincerely attracted as well as aroused by people of both genders.

But hey... who cares what people think? Both people who are so concerned about their straightness that they leave no opportunity unexploited to show just how straight they are, as well as people who are so into the whole gay thing they try to show every second how gay they are, really aren't my type anyway. I go for people who do not define themselves foremost by their sexuality, even if I do like them to be sexually compatible of course. Far as tastes go.

And perverted... Hey, if it doesn't hurt anyone, then should consenting adults not be allowed to do whatever they please? Who cares about the biblethumpers and those people so insecure about their own sexuality they have to stamp out what they probably secretly desire? Those people really aren't worth my time.
 

boywonder

Member
Oni said:
Get-dancing said:
Kankaru said:
I for one have never had any sexual interactions with a woman.
On that. Ive always wondered. How do two women, um, enjoy themselfs? I mean its just two holes, I dont get it.:|
They eat popsicles.

Sheesh! I thought everyone knew that~!
lol i watched a porno like that once

TheSkunkCat said:
Hey, if it doesn't hurt anyone, then should consenting adults not be allowed to do whatever they please?
SkunkCat--well put! And quoted is the key point that many people miss. When people have more common sense, there would probably be less prejudice--but then, that doesn't seem to be the way of human nature. :/
 

M. LeRenard

Is not French
I remembered when we talked about sexuality in my Intro to Psychology class last semester and how the ideas we discussed went against pretty much all social conceptions about gender and sexuality. Here's an article I found that explains what we talked about pretty well (it's long; the important part is called New Models of Sexuality: Reconceptualizing Bisexuality, which starts on page 195).
If that link doesn't work, do this:
Go to http://www.alltheweb.com and do a search for academic search premier (no quotes), and click on the first link under Web Results. Under 'Find', type in Bisexuality: The state of the union, and under 'In', click the check out of academic search premier and find the one that says PsychInfo and click that instead, hit 'submit' in that menu, then run the search. It should be the only article that comes up, and it should have a link to a PDF version of the article to read.
It's pretty intriguing, I thought, what they say about gender. Could explain a lot of things.
 
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