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buuuurn.

Share with us your epic burns, whether it happened to you or you did it to someone.

I have a very special one today.

We were talking about lesbians in spanish and I was quite curious, seeing as I had no idea there were lesbians.

So I asked, "Wait if there's lesbians at this school why aren't they in GSA?"

"What's GSA?"

"Gay Straight Alliance but I'm not-"

"Are you bisexual?"

Being cautious, I knew that this kid asking me was a biiiit homophobic. So I said, "If I said yes, what would you do?"

Naturally, he snaps, "I'd call you a faggot!"

So I looked him dead in the eye and replied simply, "I get more pussy than you do."

An eruption of laughter ensued, and the only thing not perfect about this timing was the fact the teacher was about to talk and she didn't hear what happened besides the endless laughing and she was pissed, and also shocked that they relayed that I, the quiet little good girl, had just said the most crude, dirty diss ever. They didn't tell her what I said but, lol.

I heard guys at lunch and now almost every guy at school has been relayed as saying, "...She's earned my respect. I'm never messing with her again!"
 

alicewater

F*ck you, that's my name
Yesterday a guy that I work with and his girlfriend (who can never remember my name) come up to me while they're arguing about some twilight poster she has, then he out of nowhere he turns to me and say's "Can you believe that she wants to put this above the bed!?" So my immediate response was "I say let her. I don't even like the movie but it's better then looking at you most of the time."
 

AlexInsane

I does what I says on the box.
I told this one guy that it's pronounced AH-KNEE-MAY not ANNIE-MAY and he was totally embarrassed. :smuggoon:

Actually, it's pronounced ANNA-MWAH. Or possibly the Sanskrit AN-YI-MOE.

omg moe.

MOE.
 

lilEmber

Small Dragon
Why is it called the Gay Straight Alliance (GSA)?
Gay and Lesbian Association for Peace (GALAP) was what we had in Alberta while I was there, I don't think there's anything at all like that here in Newfoundland...I miss Grande Prairie sometimes....

Either way, I love stuck up Canadians that think they're all that and a Bag of chips, every time they call me a moron or something around those lines I always ask: "How many Provinces are there in Canada." I have yet to meet one Canadian that replied with the correct answer without having to (clearly) count them (out loud or in their head), most still get it wrong; "there's ten provinces in Canada" I reply, adding "Shut up and go read a book."
 

Adelio Altomar

Rat-Sized Superiority Complex
Well, for Lent, my mom decided to give up chocolate, and there are times when she would complain about how her 'cravings' would get to her for something sweet, acting as if pining for sympathy. Now, being a smoker, I ended up throwing this in her face, "I'll only feel sorry for you if you gave up cigarettes."

Usually, it's very difficult to get her to shut up but I then and there that I won that time. ^^

JWE TWE FEH HOH?

J'ai fait des économies! =D
 

lilEmber

Small Dragon
Well, for Lent, my mom decided to give up chocolate, and there are times when she would complain about how her 'cravings' would get to her for something sweet, acting as if pining for sympathy. Now, being a smoker, I ended up throwing this in her face, "I'll only feel sorry for you if you gave up cigarettes."

Usually, it's very difficult to get her to shut up but I then and there that I won that time. ^^
But chocolate has caffeine, which is chemically addicting.
 

pheonix

back'n up back'n up
Some really fat chick came up and started preaching to me how smoking is the number one cause of death in Amarica and I should quit, I promtly came back with well you should cut down on the fast food cause obiesity aint to far behind it. :razz: She was sooooo pissed. lol
 

lilEmber

Small Dragon
Some really fat chick came up and started preaching to me how smoking is the number one cause of death in Amarica and I should quit, I promtly came back with well you should cut down on the fast food cause obiesity aint to far behind it. :razz: She was sooooo pissed. lol
It's so true, nice one.
Though she's right, even if you're right too; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3YtLJIQ7HQ
Obesity is second, by the way. ;3
 

pheonix

back'n up back'n up
It's so true, nice one.
Though she's right, even if you're right too; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3YtLJIQ7HQ
Obesity is second, by the way. ;3

They sell those ecigs for like $70 at the malls around here, I don't like smoking anymore anyways so I'm not to intrigued by it. Also I now obiesity is second but it's not too far behind smoking which made what I said so perfect at the time.
 
L

LizardKing

Guest
I burnt my hand making dinner earlier, but it wasn't epic.
 

Gavrill

ladies~
Yaoi fangirl versus me. Fight!

"Inuyasha and Koga would be great together!"
"What do you think about Kagome and Inuyasha?"
"Kagome's such a bitch and doesn't deserve Inuyasha and--"
"I think you're jealous of a cartoon character." 8)
"Th-that's not true!"

Cue bawwing.
 

CrispSkittlez

Unprincipaly principled.
I kept dislocating my thumb in science the other day, and my friend was getting creeped out.
Every time he tried to insult me about it, I'd thrust my dislocated thumb in his face and he'd stop talking and freak out.
Not sure that's really a burn, but I was laughing quite a bit. Teacher asked, "Uh, (insert my real name here), are you high?"
 

KirbyCowFox

Muu-bitch!
In my sculpture class there was this girl that whines about how the art teacher doesn't get her "vision". I wouldn't have a problem with this, but she complains about the same thing every day, which grinds the gears of everyone else in the class.

We were doing our projects one day and the teacher leaves, but not before Whiny asks if her project(which was supposed to be a paper mache sculpture of a lioness) is done. Naturally, the teacher tells her that she needs to do some smaller brush strokes to make the lioness look like it has fur. She also commented on how Whiny didn't paint the bottom side at all saying that it didn't matter that other people wouldn't see it, it's just a part of finishing the project.

The teacher leaves the room to fix a display somewhere in the school and Whiny goes off on her usual tangent, naturally she comes to me because I was cursed with sitting right in front of her.

"But this is FINISHED, this looks EXACTLY like a lion! Kirby, doesn't this look as much like a lion as a lion should be?"

To which I replied.

"Oh, I thought it was a pokemon. Thanks for correcting me!" :D
 

FanaticRat

Okay, so I lied.
No, I'm always the one who ends up getting burned, mostly because the other person always misconstrues me, if they don't just flat out not let me speak or listen to whatever I have to say.
 

Sam

Member
I stand in a snack bar line at lunch to get food, and I arrive early so that way I can go talk to my teacher who is helping me through a hard chapter in math. Anyways, a group of these Mexican wannabe-tough-dyke chicks got up ahead of me and let their friends in, and I figure, ok.. It's highschool, maybe if I tell them I'm in a hurry to get to class... Anyways, the responses are, "Shut up nigger!" "It doesn't matter!" "Shut the fuck up bitch!"

So next day, let my friends come up in line, we cut blah blah blah, they start bawwing. I'm like "I thought it doesn't matter?" more nigger comments. One chick starts:

"You smell!"
Me:"It smells more in the un-employment line."
"Bitch! I gotta job!"
Me: "Sucking dick is not a job!"


:smug:

I did it to her in front of everyone she tried to act like hotshit in front of. Haha, worth getting called nigger. :3
 

Wreth

GERTY
Them: Why do you fuck dogs? (I'm not a zoo by the way, they just said it to piss me off)
Me: Oh you mean your mum?
 

Ikrit

I'm fired up!
Them: Why do you fuck dogs? (I'm not a zoo by the way, they just said it to piss me off)
Me: Oh you mean your mum?
you should try
"because your mom isn't human"

friend: what are you doing?
me: your mom!

friend (male): i like carameldasen
me: so does every other girly girl...
 
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