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Celibacy

Select the option which best describes you:

  • Not celibate

    Votes: 32 43.8%
  • Conditionally celibate

    Votes: 17 23.3%
  • Voluntarily celibate

    Votes: 20 27.4%
  • Involuntarily celibate

    Votes: 4 5.5%

  • Total voters
    73
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Attaman

"I say we forget this business and run."
Don't mean to be rude, but what term am I supposed to use, instead of that? You can't say 'I'd avoid using that terminology' but then never provide an alternative that is fine to use.
Personally, "virgin" works just fine if we're speaking somebody who has never had sex (I don't think one needs to specify exactly why it is they haven't had sex, though this plays back into my earlier commentary about how the norm of mocking people depending on their sexual inclinations / proclivity is a bit of a dick move). And while I don't think we particularly need a terms for "Person who has had sex, but doesn't have as much as they'd desire", IIRC there's a pre-existing one in "blue-balled".

...Not to be confused with blue-blood: For all that's good do not mix those two terms up.
 
D

Deleted member 134556

Guest
I'm polyamorous and ideally would participate in a commune in person. I'm part of one digitally for now. That said, I only have one partner in person right now and I'm pretty selective.

Sex is lovely, but also a lot of work! Don't let the presence or lack of it define your life. Unless it's really important to you, then I suppose do what you want! :p

Nice to meet another poly btw. I’ve lost some friends (Not really friends after all) from mentioning I was poly, along with being told it’s unnatural and imoral, so while I’m not ashamed of it at all, I’m hesitant to talk about it considering the negative experiences I’ve been through. Still, it’s great to come across others like me.
 

Rassah

Well-Known Member
I said not celibate, but that's because I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for about 21 years now.
Before that, when I was in my late tens / early 20's, I was fairly promiscuous. Especially at cons. Everyone seems way hornier and open to doing things at that age.
Before that, when I was in high school, I was involuntary celibate. I was a typical nerdy type - skinny, shy as hell, and not very good looking at the time, in part because I didn't care about how I looked. I had crushes on people, but was either too shy to ask, or got shot down whenever I did. I was nice and courteous and very respectful, since I was raised in "proper nobility" style by my parents, but the shyness and just being plain awkward got in the way.
I'm not a fan of the word "virgin." Both, because it has an unhealthy religious connotation that gives it some sort of special value that, if you lose it, it makes you less of a person. And because it's used as an insult (and was used against me plenty of times by overly macho bullies) were being a virgin somehow makes you less of a failure or that it's somehow entirely your fault. Involuntarily celibate at least suggests that it's not for lack of trying. I think that's sort of what ASTA was getting at?

If we were to legalize prostitution, I think it would solve a lot of the incel problems. Maybe. It's legal in Canada (at least Toronto). I wonder what their incel situation is like, or if it's even an issue?

I mean, it was nuked with the Politics section, but...

ASTA literally defended one of the Incel shooters with "His hand was forced, look at what your feminism and mocking of Incels has wrought" a few years ago.

Considering your well demonstrated propensity to take people's statements out of context and to outright make up claims about them, I don't believe you. And don't appreciate you trying to wedge personal attacks and flame war into what was otherwise a fairly calm discussion.
 
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sshado

Artemis the Satanist
Nice to meet another poly btw. I’ve lost some friends (Not really friends after all) from mentioning I was poly, along with being told it’s unnatural and imoral, so while I’m not ashamed of it at all, I’m hesitant to talk about it considering the negative experiences I’ve been through. Still, it’s great to come across others like me.

I'm sorry to hear you've been treated that way. I'm all too familiar with that sentiment unfortunately; it used to be one I shared in the past. I still have have a journal entry from years ago where I go on and on about how immoral and fake poly people are. It took time for me to undo the brainwashing I was raised with, but I'm much better off now for it. I'm always excited to meet others who share the same positive beliefs about being poly. Here's to hoping that society continues to accept that we are part of what is normal. The experience of losing friends or losing your community over it is just heartbreaking.
 

VeeStars

uh I can explain?
I'm sorry to hear you've been treated that way. I'm all too familiar with that sentiment unfortunately; it used to be one I shared in the past. I still have have a journal entry from years ago where I go on and on about how immoral and fake poly people are. It took time for me to undo the brainwashing I was raised with, but I'm much better off now for it. I'm always excited to meet others who share the same positive beliefs about being poly. Here's to hoping that society continues to accept that we are part of what is normal. The experience of losing friends or losing your community over it is just heartbreaking.
I don't see what's wrong with poly, if everyone consents and accepts of it, then it's perfectly fine.
 
D

Deleted member 134556

Guest
I'm sorry to hear you've been treated that way. I'm all too familiar with that sentiment unfortunately; it used to be one I shared in the past. I still have have a journal entry from years ago where I go on and on about how immoral and fake poly people are. It took time for me to undo the brainwashing I was raised with, but I'm much better off now for it. I'm always excited to meet others who share the same positive beliefs about being poly. Here's to hoping that society continues to accept that we are part of what is normal. The experience of losing friends or losing your community over it is just heartbreaking.
I don’t understand why some people have such an issue with it tbh. Maybe religious reasons or something?. I get that it’s hard to understand, but still, the flak is unnecessary. It’s not like we have an agenda to damage traditional American values and brainwash people and blah blah blah... You get the idea
 

Charleslr'93

Well-Known Member
I don’t understand why some people have such an issue with it tbh. Maybe religious reasons or something?. I get that it’s hard to understand, but still, the flak is unnecessary. It’s not like we have an agenda to damage traditional American values and brainwash people and blah blah blah... You get the idea
Here's a traditional monogamous person's viewpoint on poly people, long story short, flinging yourself about/ dating more than one person at a time can lead to jealousy, disgust, and hate. I don't particular respect poly people, though it really depends on the person and how many people they have in the circle.
Does this make sense..?
Again, this is my viewpoint, it doesn't mean you, as a individual are a bad person and shouldn't exist. Just explaining what the negative feelings for polygamy are.
 
D

Deleted member 134556

Guest
Here's a traditional monogamous person's viewpoint on poly people, long story short, flinging yourself about/ dating more than one person at a time can lead to jealousy, disgust, and hate. I don't particular respect poly people, though it really depends on the person and how many people they have in the circle.
Does this make sense..?
Again, this is my viewpoint, it doesn't mean you, as a individual are a bad person and shouldn't exist. Just explaining what the negative feelings for polygamy are.
16F3A245-343A-470D-8D24-183A1116D2AB.jpeg
 

Charleslr'93

Well-Known Member
You can not like an idea and still respect people who have that idea, you know.
I don't respect the polygamy aspect. Who said I didn't respect the person as a person..? A poly LEO, firefighter, president, store manager, Old person walking across the street with a lot of groceries, etc. Regardless of poly, I will always respect the individual at heart.
 

VeeStars

uh I can explain?
I don't respect the polygamy aspect. Who said I didn't respect the person as a person..? A poly LEO, firefighter, president, store manager, Old person walking across the street with a lot of groceries, etc. Regardless of poly, I will always respect the individual at heart.
My bad. Saying things like "I don't particular respect poly people" tends to rub people the wrong way.
 

Charleslr'93

Well-Known Member
My bad. Saying things like "I don't particular respect poly people" tends to rub people the wrong way.
Here's a bit of advice, keep in mind I'm not hating on people, I'm not hating on you, etc. Though, please understand, the world as a whole doesn't care about a individual's feelings as a individual. That applies to everyone, me included. If someone gets offended from something someone said, it's just a part of life. A fucked up part of life, but a part of life nonetheless.
 
D

Deleted member 132067

Guest
I don't respect the polygamy aspect. Who said I didn't respect the person as a person..? A poly LEO, firefighter, president, store manager, Old person walking across the street with a lot of groceries, etc. Regardless of poly, I will always respect the individual at heart.
"The gays? Yeah I love them, I just don't want them to kiss in front of me, you know? But they're great people otherwise."
 
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VeeStars

uh I can explain?
Here's a bit of advice, keep in mind I'm not hating on people, I'm not hating on you, etc. Though, please understand, the world as a whole doesn't care about a individual's feelings as a individual. That applies to everyone, me included. If someone gets offended from something someone said, it's just a part of life. A fucked up part of life, but a part of life nonetheless.
Here's another tip, that's not a great response to anything, really.

"The gays? Yeah I love them, I just don't want them do kiss in front of me, you know? But they're great people otherwise."
Lmao
 

Charleslr'93

Well-Known Member
"The gays? Yeah I love them, I just don't want them do kiss in front of me, you know? But they're great people otherwise."
The fuck..? They do what they do to make themselves happy. I won't partake in polygamy myself. how the fuck do gay people have to do with me not liking the idea of a person dating more than one person at a time..? Are you saying I hate gay people when I have two moms...?

Get fucked.
 

VeeStars

uh I can explain?
The fuck..? They do what they do to make themselves happy. I won't partake in polygamy myself. how the fuck do gay people have to do with me not liking the idea of a person dating more than one person at a time..? Are you saying I hate gay people when I have two moms...?

Get fucked.
...jesus. Take a break from your computer for a little while, you are just digging yourself into a hole.
 

sshado

Artemis the Satanist
I don’t understand why some people have such an issue with it tbh. Maybe religious reasons or something?. I get that it’s hard to understand, but still, the flak is unnecessary. It’s not like we have an agenda to damage traditional American values and brainwash people and blah blah blah... You get the idea

For me it was growing up in a conservative religious community, yes. In my experience the rest of the people who are against polyamory usually feel it rooted in a sense of insecurity. The concept of dating many people is honestly a threatening concept to the traditional monogamous worldview. Those people tend to consume a lot more traditional media as well which reinforces some negative social norms like being over-protective and glorifying traditional gender roles.

You're right, there's no agenda. It's just people who love each other and are comfortable expressing that and sharing that with more than one person at a time. There's nothing nefarious about it. :p

Here's a traditional monogamous person's viewpoint on poly people, long story short, flinging yourself about/ dating more than one person at a time can lead to jealousy, disgust, and hate. I don't particular respect poly people, though it really depends on the person and how many people they have in the circle.
Does this make sense..?
Again, this is my viewpoint, it doesn't mean you, as a individual are a bad person and shouldn't exist. Just explaining what the negative feelings for polygamy are.

Yes, I used to feel this way until I did some growing up and reflected on why I was treating people with so much disrespect for being poly. I urge you to reconsider the part about not respecting poly people. You can respect them without wanting to engage in it yourself. Just like how you would respect a gay person even if you are not gay. Just because they do something you don't like doesn't make them less deserving of respect from you.
 

VeeStars

uh I can explain?
For me it was growing up in a conservative religious community, yes. In my experience the rest of the people who are against polyamory usually feel it rooted in a sense of insecurity. The concept of dating many people is honestly a threatening concept to the traditional monogamous worldview. Those people tend to consume a lot more traditional media as well which reinforces some negative social norms like being over-protective and glorifying traditional gender roles.

You're right, there's no agenda. It's just people who love each other and are comfortable expressing that and sharing that with more than one person at a time. There's nothing nefarious about it. :p
People who think there's some sort of Gay agenda or Trans agenda or whatever agenda are the worst!
 

TyraWadman

The Silent Observer
I'm a pretty kinky and open-minded person, but given how my life has gone the idea of entering a poly relationship seems unrealistic. I have yet to meet a guy who is genuine and shares similar values. What are the chances I'm gonna meet five more that also happen to be into the idea of poly? XD

If y'all can balance/manage a poly relationship then by all means go for it! I'm sure it takes a lot of skill to ensure each partner is/remains content.
 

Rassah

Well-Known Member
You know, if your issue with poly people is that they may go behind someone's back, your issue isn't with the poly, it's with the lying. If everyone in the relationship is fine with it, it's not a problem.
 

Charleslr'93

Well-Known Member
People who think there's some sort of Gay agenda or Trans agenda or whatever agenda are the worst!
Did I say you have some sort of agenda or its threatening to my life of being monogamous..? Are you helping me dig a hole here or are you genuinely just saying fuck haters? It's hard to tell.
 

VeeStars

uh I can explain?
Did I say you have some sort of agenda or its threatening to my life of being monogamous..? Are you helping me dig a hole here or are you genuinely just saying fuck haters? It's hard to tell.
Literally this post was not directed at you, the world does not revolve around you, calm your tits.
 

Jackpot Raccuki

Although half canine, is not a wolf.
In terms of the poll, not sure where I'd put myself.
Intercourse is pretty good and whiles understandably my BF is asexual so whiles I would want intercourse I am fully aware it's not something he's remotely interested in, granted he said in some cases he wouldn't mind just because he loves me and wants me to be happy as I do with him hence why I don't want to feel like I'm forcing him at times. But at same time I've recently been kinda getting uninterested in intercourse in general.

As for what's being discussed about poly relationships and such, as much as part of me is interested out of curiosity, I also know it will not work with me as based on how I am, I am very possessive of someone who I love and if in a poly relationship would likely cling to someone and get mad if someone tried to do anything with them.
In otherwords, it's MY boyfriend.
 
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