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Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)

CaptainCool

Lady of the lake
You mean like when I became an atheist and didn't tell my extremely fundamentalist christian family about it? It was none of their business, so I didn't start nothing, and there was nothing. Although eventually (years later) I got pissed about having to deal with my family's christian sensibilities every day so I laid into them about their hocus-pocus and they reacted as you can imagine. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth on their part, I cared less than a nihilist with a marmot, and life went on as usual. They still haven't gotten over it, and I still have yet to give a damn about their opinion. It ain't a big deal.

You can't compare that to coming out as gay.
Fundies can start to accept a gay son or daughter sooner or later because hey, you are still their son/daughter! They loved you before you came out and sooner or later they realize that nothing has really changed and that it doesn't matter.
But "coming out" as an atheist and flat out telling them that what they believe is nonsense? Oh boy. These people are brainwashed. They can tolerate other people but if you start to criticise their beliefsystem itself they get really pissed. Because in that case you have actually given them a "proper" reason to be pissed off. You didn't make it about you and who you are, but rather about them and why they are loonies.
Sure, there are some people who are so far gone they even throw you out just for masturbating or having softcore porn on your PC but I would try to get out of a household like that anyway.
 

TeenageAngst

Banned
Banned
So what you're saying is I had an even higher chance of getting my ass booted than the homosexuals, and I still came out smelling like a rose through sheer force of not-give-a-shit.
 

BRN

WTB Forum Mod Powers
So what you're saying is I had an even higher chance of getting my ass booted than the homosexuals, and I still came out smelling like a rose through sheer force of not-give-a-shit.

It's depressing, if that's what you're going to take away from the last two pages of discussion. Is this legitimately your understanding of the points made, or are you just being that funny kid in the back of a classroom?

No, CC summarised what I've said already - that coming out is a request for a truth about your future to be acknowleged and accepted. Telling your family about lacking their beliefs wasn't the same; you revealed your opinion and standing on an issue and, sure, 'came out smelling of roses'. Your issue, however - God - is external to you. When you're coming out, the issue thrusted into debate isn't external - you don't get that luxury.

ED: I'm sorry, that first paragraph was rude of me.
 

Icky

is the prettiest pony~
It's depressing, if that's what you're going to take away from the last two pages of discussion. Is this legitimately your understanding of the points made, or are you just being that funny kid in the back of a classroom?

No, CC summarised what I've said already - that coming out is a request for a truth about your future to be acknowleged and accepted. Telling your family about lacking their beliefs wasn't the same; you revealed your opinion and standing on an issue and, sure, 'came out smelling of roses'. Your issue, however - God - is external to you. When you're coming out, the issue thrusted into debate isn't external - you don't get that luxury.

ED: I'm sorry, that first paragraph was rude of me.

That's not rude, I think that's the best description of TA I've ever heard.
 

TeenageAngst

Banned
Banned
It's depressing, if that's what you're going to take away from the last two pages of discussion. Is this legitimately your understanding of the points made, or are you just being that funny kid in the back of a classroom?
It's just a completely foreign concept that other people's opinions should dictate how I feel about my lifestyle. If I was gay I'd have no qualms in telling my parents in the same way I have no qualms telling them I'm spending time with women they've never met, or come home reeking of... you know, or going to the liquor store before noon, or anything else they don't agree with.
No, CC summarised what I've said already - that coming out is a request for a truth about your future to be acknowleged and accepted. Telling your family about lacking their beliefs wasn't the same; you revealed your opinion and standing on an issue and, sure, 'came out smelling of roses'. Your issue, however - God - is external to you. When you're coming out, the issue thrusted into debate isn't external - you don't get that luxury.
ITP: Religious choices are just an opinion.
 

CaptainCool

Lady of the lake

Scaly Fal

Racing Dragon
Ooo I came out to my parents a few months ago. It really wasn't that big of a deal though, I told them in the morning and we had a normal day. They pretty much shrugged and said "Ok". Kinda anticlimactic to be honest, but wordse happens to people I suppose, so I'm happy (and lucky). :p

Problem is there's no gay guys in tiny Alabama towns. So it doesn't even matter if people know I'm gay (but everyone does. I'm extremely blunt about it)
 

Distorted

Active Member
Ooo I came out to my parents a few months ago. It really wasn't that big of a deal though, I told them in the morning and we had a normal day. They pretty much shrugged and said "Ok". Kinda anticlimactic to be honest, but wordse happens to people I suppose, so I'm happy (and lucky). :p

Problem is there's no gay guys in tiny Alabama towns. So it doesn't even matter if people know I'm gay (but everyone does. I'm extremely blunt about it)

There are plenty of gay people in Alabama, it's just that the closet is pretty damn deep here. Although if you go down 23rd street downtown, you might find an open one. (Seriously though, don't go there. Those guys are very......aggressive.)
 

Scaly Fal

Racing Dragon
But...but...yeah you're right hehe. I wanna move as soon as I can (maybe UK, or even East Coast would be fine by me). I'm kinda getting sick of the small-minded Southern towns to be honest
 

Saiko

GTWT Survivor
But...but...yeah you're right hehe. I wanna move as soon as I can (maybe UK, or even East Coast would be fine by me). I'm kinda getting sick of the small-minded Southern towns to be honest
Ikr? And if I hear my pastor make another LGBT comment, I'm going to personally tell him that i'm not attending anymore. -.-
 

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
I still can't fathom why you believe this crap.

Calm down, artillery spam; it's not his choice.

Belief is the conviction that a statement is actually true; to be convinced.
What convinces people to accept something as true is variable. Evidence, argument, social pressure, convention, emotion, the confidence of the claimant and so on.
However the decision to be convinced isn't one of them.
Try convincing yourself that your second floor window leads to Narnia 'because you choose to'.

Of course, choice literally means 'selecting possibilities' so in this regard a belief can be considered a choice: By electing to believe Relativistic is more accurate than Newtonian physics, even if you could never elect to choose Newtonian physics, a selection is made.

This however misses the point, which is that the choice is one you are unable to make freely on a whim and it's certainly not one you could overturn if it offended your parents, who follow the church of Newton... without brainwashing of course.
The selection you come to is not a choice in the same sense that picking a flavour of icecream is. It's not in your conscious control to persuade yourself that relativity is wrong and newton is correct.
 
T

TheMetalVelocity

Guest
I am too sick in my mind to even think about church.


Christianity just isn't for me. I realized that there are a lot more answers to life, and death for that matter than just an ancient book which separates right from wrong, like it's black and white.
 
Calm down, artillery spam; it's not his choice.

Belief is the conviction that a statement is actually true; to be convinced.
What convinces people to accept something as true is variable. Evidence, argument, social pressure, convention, emotion, the confidence of the claimant and so on.
However the decision to be convinced isn't one of them.
Try convincing yourself that your second floor window leads to Narnia 'because you choose to'.

Of course, choice literally means 'selecting possibilities' so in this regard a belief can be considered a choice: By electing to believe Relativistic is more accurate than Newtonian physics, even if you could never elect to choose Newtonian physics, a selection is made.

This however misses the point, which is that the choice is one you are unable to make freely on a whim and it's certainly not one you could overturn if it offended your parents, who follow the church of Newton... without brainwashing of course.
The selection you come to is not a choice in the same sense that picking a flavour of icecream is. It's not in your conscious control to persuade yourself that relativity is wrong and newton is correct.

For some strange reason, your posts are the only posts on this entire forum that I cannot comprehend.
 

Saiko

GTWT Survivor
For some strange reason, your posts are the only posts on this entire forum that I cannot comprehend.
Actually I had been struggling to understand CC's point about that, but this helped a lot. Have to say I agree. xD
 

Seekrit

Member
So I came out to my parents as bisexual earlier. They still love me, and accept me, and then we drank lots of beer and listened to heavy metal c:

This is the hard part over. Everyone else in the world can go to fuck, but my mother and father deserved to know. They gave me life, and I respect them both so much. It'd be wrong not to tell them. Feel a bit guilty for thinking they would do anything other than hug me and get on with the night though.
 

Distorted

Active Member
So I came out to my parents as bisexual earlier. They still love me, and accept me, and then we drank lots of beer and listened to heavy metal c:

This is the hard part over. Everyone else in the world can go to fuck, but my mother and father deserved to know. They gave me life, and I respect them both so much. It'd be wrong not to tell them. Feel a bit guilty for thinking they would do anything other than hug me and get on with the night though.

I'm really glad your folks are so accepting. You're very lucky. I'm kinda jealous actually.
 

Distorted

Active Member
Love conquers all, I guess. I'm just happy I can stop worrying about it now. Are you keeping your non-straightness to yourself?

No, but it's not something that's acknowledged by the people around me. They seem to forget that I'm gay a lot or just write it off as untrue. I don't really do much to call attention to the fact though.

If I were to meet someone I liked, I'm sure things would change. My folks freaked out on me because they thought my best friend was my boyfriend. So it's not really something I can discuss with them.
 
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