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Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)

Mentova

I live, I die, I live again
Tell us a story, Uncle Minty. How did your coming out go? :3

I've only told my mom and my crazy aunt. My mom asked me if I'd ever been with a guy and I was drunk when I came out to my crazy aunt.

Honestly, since I'm only interested in dating girls I don't really feel like I need to come out anyways. Its not like if I ever have a guy bang me I'll be screaming it from the rooftops. :V
 

Butters Shikkon

Patron Saint of Queers
I remember when my brother came out to our mom...

That's when she came out to him...

-_- Those were some weird years.
 

Seekrit

Member
I've only told my mom and my crazy aunt. My mom asked me if I'd ever been with a guy and I was drunk when I came out to my crazy aunt.

Honestly, since I'm only interested in dating girls I don't really feel like I need to come out anyways. Its not like if I ever have a guy bang me I'll be screaming it from the rooftops. :V

You might, sex can get pretty intense :v

I remember when my brother came out to our mom...

That's when she came out to him...

-_- Those were some weird years.

That... was unexpected.
 

Kosdu

Member
Thank you, Mentova, for getting things back on topic. Was about to report some posts.



Seekrit, I think it'll just take time to settle in. People think it's a big deal, that it really means you've changed or something, when it isn't. It's fairly normal for them to get shocked too, some parents also don't wish to believe it because the implied hardships one may go through based on orientation.

Good luck.


@Butterfly

Nice, I remember shortly after I came out my sis did too. We're all somewhat gay in that mix of genes.
 

Butters Shikkon

Patron Saint of Queers
That... was unexpected.

Yes it was. Of course, we knew my dad was gay for a few months before that.

I really didn't have to come out at all after that. (It was always pretty obvious anyway) We're a whole family of homosexuals. It's nice to be able to talk to both parents so easily about such things...even though I had to be the one to comfort my mother when she had her breakups.

She and my Dad are still married though. In a way, they will always be the one for each other. They aren't really "people" people and they've been together too long to start over. And they do love each other...just not sexually.
 

Butters Shikkon

Patron Saint of Queers
Anywho, I'll continue the ever interesting tales of my parents for those of you who actually might can use it.

My father and mother grew up in a time and a place where being gay was pretty much not the thing to be. My dad was somewhat religious at the time and felt very ashamed of his orientation. My mom was never religious but her family wasn't all that loving or caring. Not people you'd really tell your desires to. Oddly enough, her father was gay as well. So go figure.

Mom and Dad married and such...sometimes I think it was more as an escape than true love. My mom was very determined to be loved due to her cold if not abusive upbringing and I'm sure my father was trying to "cure" his gayness by marrying his best friend.

Alas, my father was also very ill at the time mentally so he wasn't really that sweet a guy. So along came me and my brother (twins) and my mom found something to love and call her own while my father found it difficult to really "be with her". He often cried about it in front of her. But never with us.

Eventually in my high school years, my mom found gay porn my dad had around the house. That was kinda a tip off :V Although, she had suspected it for so long you can imagine.

My brother came out to my mom in his early college days and then my mom revealed that she had had lesbian feelings all her life. This actually came as quite the surprise to me and my brother...and honestly, by that point in time my mother had been recovering from a nervous breakdown...so she wasn't really "all there". Truthfully, she never will be again.

I actually suspect my mother might be bisexual and just jumped on the lesbian thing during her mid-life crisis.

Why are they still together?

I asked them that too.

They did date for a while after coming out to one another...but after 5 years...no one made them happier than each other. They grew up together, raised their sons together, and suffered together. They stuck it out together.

Can that not be called love?
 
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septango

ᴓᴥᴓ
tumblr_lks6fzJvuF1qhfyv3o1_400.gif


wow thats one hell of a beautifull story, makes me wonder if I have any relitives that are gay? my mom IS strangely obssesed with her best freind, hmmm....
 

Distorted

Active Member
That was a crazy story. And more common than you think.

It's been mentioned in my family that I had some gay cousins, but they won't tell me about them for the life of me. I don't even know their names. All my dad says is that "they were a couple of faggots that died of aids." He speaks about them so hatefully spitting while he speaks. When I came out I guess he thought I was going to end up like them. Hell he almost beat me to death himself, but wound up taking his anger out on a tree instead.

He's since then calmed down, but I really am afraid of the man sometimes.
 
T

TheMetalVelocity

Guest
That was a crazy story. And more common than you think.

It's been mentioned in my family that I had some gay cousins, but they won't tell me about them for the life of me. I don't even know their names. All my dad says is that "they were a couple of faggots that died of aids." He speaks about them so hatefully spitting while he speaks. When I came out I guess he thought I was going to end up like them. Hell he almost beat me to death himself, but wound up taking his anger out on a tree instead.

He's since then calmed down, but I really am afraid of the man sometimes.
Even though my family is very conservative themselves especially with traditional values, they wouldn't say something like that, especially when referring to that disease, and of family members.
 

Distorted

Active Member
Even though my family is very conservative themselves especially with traditional values, they wouldn't say something like that, especially when referring to that disease, and of family members.


I don't really get why he reacts as harshly as he does. I think something may have happened back in his day, but I dare not ask. To even see my dad get so mad at something was baffling to me. He was always a bit grumpy but he never got as bad as when I came out. Things have settled down now, and they don't really ask me if I "still feel the same way" anymore. I kinda hope it stays that way.
 
T

TheMetalVelocity

Guest
I don't really get why he reacts as harshly as he does. I think something may have happened back in his day, but I dare not ask. To even see my dad get so mad at something was baffling to me. He was always a bit grumpy but he never got as bad as when I came out. Things have settled down now, and they don't really ask me if I "still feel the same way" anymore. I kinda hope it stays that way.
When people are angry, they say fucked up things.
 

Seekrit

Member
That was a crazy story. And more common than you think.

It's been mentioned in my family that I had some gay cousins, but they won't tell me about them for the life of me. I don't even know their names. All my dad says is that "they were a couple of faggots that died of aids." He speaks about them so hatefully spitting while he speaks. When I came out I guess he thought I was going to end up like them. Hell he almost beat me to death himself, but wound up taking his anger out on a tree instead.

He's since then calmed down, but I really am afraid of the man sometimes.

I'm really sorry to hear that. To think I'm complaining about my situation :c
 

Distorted

Active Member
I'm really sorry to hear that. To think I'm complaining about my situation :c

No, it's fine.

I mean, at least I still have a home. Some people are kicked on the street when they come out. I'm just glad they care enough to still help me out. When I first told them there was an initial reaction of hysteria, and then we just had arguments on and off for about a year. In the process of it all I grew a backbone and came to the realization that my folks aren't all very understanding people who are different. I mean for Christ's sake, my mother thinks that people with blue eyes are evil.

It wasn't very pleasant, but it helped me stand up for myself in a way. I would lie to myself and try to do things their way at first, but I wind up depressed and angry all the time. When I accepted it, and started fighting back things began to work out for me. People even started respecting me more. So I guess the process of coming out is in a way a person coming into themselves.

Also Don't feel bad, Seekrit. No one wants to hear their family shun them over being who they are. That's hard for anyone.
 

fonduemaster

shine bright like her forehead
I'm not sure about coming out. I'm not exactly open to this anywhere... I'm pretty sure I'm gay, but I'm not entirely sure because I like girls's faces but none of their boobs etc, and I'm not really interested in guys until it gets preeetty hot :V. I may just be going through a phase, i don't know :/
Put that aside, how hard is it to come out? I mean like the feeling before and after the process, the pros and cons etc. I don't know if I want to or not. Pretty much everyone I know IRL is suspecting me of it because apparently I'm girly, but I don't realize it at all unless if I'm doing it on purpose. Is there any point to it though? Your life is your life and it's not essential in life if people know who you really are and all, right?
That was a crazy story. And more common than you think.

It's been mentioned in my family that I had some gay cousins, but they won't tell me about them for the life of me. I don't even know their names. All my dad says is that "they were a couple of faggots that died of aids." He speaks about them so hatefully spitting while he speaks. When I came out I guess he thought I was going to end up like them. Hell he almost beat me to death himself, but wound up taking his anger out on a tree instead.

He's since then calmed down, but I really am afraid of the man sometimes.
Awww, crap that sounds terrible. I'm glad he's not like that to you anymore.
I mean for Christ's sake, my mother thinks that people with blue eyes are evil.
Blue eyes are pretty though :c I'm stuck with crappy brown eyes ;_;
 

Kryn

Flyin' Sooo High
Well I finally came out to my mom yesterday. I had been dating this guy for about a month and a half and things have just felt right. I got off work early and on the drive home something just got stuck in my head and I decided I wanted to tell her when I got home. I paced around the kitchen for atleast 10 minutes before I finally got the nerve to walk into the living room and I just told her. Her response was a smile and an "ok, thats fine" lol. Seriously the most anti-climatic response I ever thought could happen. She told my dad for me and she claims he's ok with it but I haven't seen him in person yet.
My only regret is waiting this long (I just turned 25). I always feared the worst but something always told me it would be ok, and I feel a million times better right now :)
 

Ryuu

Member
Update on me.... :p


So my parents have come around, and are so nice to him. My friends have adjusted and even though i may have lost one or two, i found out who my real friends were. I have found a few true friends that i will love forever. And.... In the process i found Austin. Remarkably only lived 2 miles from were i used to live in KC and never spotted him till i met him over Craigslist. 0.0 We have been together almost 4 months now and have our own place. Things are great!


So if you are in the depths and need help, my advice is keep your head up. things turn around soooo fast.
 

FenrirDarkWolf

Trapped in a Lucid Eclipse
So it seems family, friends, everyone basically knows I'm pretty damn gay.
...No one really cares.
My family DOES know I'm dating a guy. A black, Canadian guy *cough Slayer cough*
They looked at me odd, then went about their business.
 

Migoto Da

Heat the Beat
Well, my mother is a stereotypical homophobic bible-toting soccer mom who pretty much wants nothing to do with gays and stuff like that.

Needless to say, when I came out to my mother, she freaked out. She wanted to get me into one of those Christian 'rehabilitation centers' where they try to 'convert' you from being gay to straight, forced me to go to church, and said she was going to boot me out as soon as I turned 18. Things have calmed down since then, but safe to say I never eat at the table.

My sister doesn't really care, but since then she's always been the favourite of my mother anyway.

Not many people know that I'm gay except on the internet, but I have had my fair share of homophobic run-ins.
 
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