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Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)

CaptainCool

Lady of the lake
I stand corrected. It appears that rather than tolerating my homosexuality, my parents are just ignoring it while they work up the courage to stop supporting me financially (i.e. effectively disown me without feeling guilty ). This is indicated by their having all of us sit at the table and tell me all the things that are supposedly wrong with my life, including their inability to "support this immoral lifestyle." They also forbade me from "corrupting" my little brother.

... The funny thing is that this will result in my car and bank accounts being in my name, and I make enough money to be self sufficient in college without loans. They are willfully blind to the fact that my standard of living is going to skyrocket if they go through with their threats. All I have to do is make it to January and keep a 3.0. xD

Well that freaking sucks :T "Immoral lifestyle"? "Corrupting your brother"? It seems to me like your parents have completely lost the plot.
 

Saiko

GTWT Survivor
Well that freaking sucks :T "Immoral lifestyle"? "Corrupting your brother"? It seems to me like your parents have completely lost the plot.
They never had the plot to begin with. Good riddance.

(Oh, and I also just got back from another bash-saiko talk with my dad. He couldn't leave for his trip without getting his week's worth of critique. This time the focus was on how I'm clearly not cut out for research and college because I still have to sign up for classes... despite the fact that I'm having to wait on the staff's breaks and vacations.)
 

powderhound

Active Member
This time the focus was on how I'm clearly not cut out for research and college because I still have to sign up for classes... despite the fact that I'm having to wait on the staff's breaks and vacations.)

What do your parents want from you? It sounds like your doing everything right. Financially independent, going to college, doing research... That's better than like 90% of America. What would he rather you do?
 

Blissful.Oblivion

ich boope dich!
:c I feel really bad when I read/hear about other peoples' coming out/realization stories because mine was so peaceful and, well, easy. I figured it out in the latter part of 8th grade and immediately came out to about five closer friends (all of whom were perfectly okay), and then in my first year of high school I came out to two other people. One of those two constantly teased me about being so far in the closet (but in a totally friendly way; she asked me how Narnia was every day...), and about halfway through freshman year, I came out to pretty much everyone I knew. Even my parents. My mum told me that my immediate family knew since I was three, and my dad just said "yeah, I kind of figured." Ever since, I've been totally out to almost everyone I know and it's completely fine. I've only experienced discrimination twice, and both times it was quickly snuffed out one way or another. Which is why I feel kinda bad :c
(fyi I live in California, which is probably a large factor in all of this. My parents specifically moved to California from the midwest in case my brother or I turned out gay or something.)
 

Conker

Destroyer of Nazi Teddy Bears
What on earth where you doing at three that made you seem so...well, gay? :p
 

Blissful.Oblivion

ich boope dich!
I've never asked... I think... maybe... it was the dolls??? > u < I guess I was always really feminine about things when I was younger. Although that changed. I'm not masculine, but I'm definitely not feminine. But yeah, probably the dolls...
 

Saiko

GTWT Survivor
What would he rather you do?
Anything but guys. :B

And no, I'm not doing research. I'm simply trying to get hired, which is difficult when you're stuck at home and the only relevant official credit you have is the first computer programming course.
 

kairi920

You Only Live Online
Damn, I really thought coming out would be the hard part..

The hardest part for me is trying to get some of my friends to believe me that I'm gay~ :/
I had the same problem, it took me about two weeks to convince one of my friends I was serious... and I'm pretty sure my parents still don't think I'm serious either. :/
 

In The Nightside Eclipse

Lord ov Darkness
I had the same problem, it took me about two weeks to convince one of my friends I was serious... and I'm pretty sure my parents still don't think I'm serious either. :/

Now I have the absolutely fabulous task of Introducing my BF to my parents, as well as coming out to them.

Dis gon b fun.
 

Saiko

GTWT Survivor
Now I have the absolutely fabulous task of Introducing my BF to my parents, as well as coming out to them.

Dis gon b fun.
For the love of god, come out before you introduce your bf if at all possible. If you make a mistake and go all-in, it could fuck you over. I dunno if your parents are the type to be concerned about, but mine certainly are; and it's made things interesting to say the least.
 

fonduemaster

shine bright like her forehead
For the love of god, come out before you introduce your bf if at all possible. If you make a mistake and go all-in, it could fuck you over. I dunno if your parents are the type to be concerned about, but mine certainly are; and it's made things interesting to say the least.
Why would introducing the boyfriend and your sexuality at the same time be bad?
 

Distorted

Active Member
Why would introducing the boyfriend and your sexuality at the same time be bad?

I mean, if your folks aren't violent it'd be ok I guess...

My friend came over one day and my dad suspected him of being my boyfriend and I had to ask my friend to leave for his safety. My father doesn't get angry a lot, but when he does it's rather serious.

I don't know how your family is, but just be careful.
 

Kitsune Cross

**** that **** now! Bitch
I mean, if your folks aren't violent it'd be ok I guess...

My friend came over one day and my dad suspected him of being my boyfriend and I had to ask my friend to leave for his safety. My father doesn't get angry a lot, but when he does it's rather serious.

I don't know how your family is, but just be careful.

Dude I'm sorry, but I seriously want to kick your dad's ass
 

Lobar

The hell am I reading, here?
Why would introducing the boyfriend and your sexuality at the same time be bad?

"Hey mom, I'm gay, AND here's the guy I've been seeing behind your back until now!"
 

Jags

Shepherd of Fire
to me, that doesnt really sound like a problem if your parents arent violent and/or homophobic??

It's kinda harsh, though. Imagine it the other way around, you wouldn't feel so good about it if it were your kid :/
 

In The Nightside Eclipse

Lord ov Darkness
I guess it would be more wise to not give them two shocks in one night, but they don't have much expectations as to what I should be like, so it should be fine when I finally decide to tell them.
 

Milo

New Member
"Hey mom, I'm gay, AND here's the guy I've been seeing behind your back until now!"

one of the few times I'm going to disagree with this case.

I get just as annoyed as the next guy when it comes to pushing sexuality on other people, but at the same time, who fucking cares if you "overwhelm" someone in that way. my sister brags and shoves it in, that she dates people for their money, and then dumps them, and everyone in my family is not only ok with that, but they basically support her because at one point, she got married to a douchebag, and now everyone thinks she deserves to fuck over every guy in existence as compensation.

if I were a parent in any other family but my own, I'd be shocked and hurt that my child would do something like that in a relationship, but I'd probably put on a face, because I'd want what makes my child happy. and I'm 90% certain most parents do this anyway, because I KNOW my sister isn't the only one who fucks with relationships. so after facing something like that, a gay son introducing his boyfriend to his mother doesn't seem so bad.
 

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
...I don't want what makes my kid happy if it's making everyone else's kids unhappy by screwing them over for their money. That's actually an example where it is justifiable to be disgusted.
 

Butters Shikkon

Patron Saint of Queers
Some people just enjoy being assholes. I'm not shocked.
 

Milo

New Member
...I don't want what makes my kid happy if it's making everyone else's kids unhappy by screwing them over for their money. That's actually an example where it is justifiable to be disgusted.

my point is, I don't really see the problem with coming out and introducing your boyfriend at the same time. as long as you do it right I mean. don't be like "accept me for who I am, or I'm running awaaaaay!"

I mean that having your boyfriend there isn't going to change whether or not the parent is ok with it. if your mother is going to disband you for being gay, you might as well have someone you love, by your side to help you through it. I mean what better way to prevent a possible suicide (a statistic that's shockingly high), than to have him there with you to tell you it'll be ok?
 
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