Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)

[FenrirDarkWolf]

Speaking of coming out, people have been asking me if I'm gay at school, and I'm just like, yes.

Like, in 5th period Monday, I was about to leave, and this girl called me, and she was like, "Are you gay?" and I said yes, and walked out.

Then on Tuesday, I was helping a friend with her music, and she asked me that too, and I'm like, yes, and she was just like, "ok", cause she heard it and didn't know.

Yesterday, I was helping a friend in Algebra, and then she asked me the same question, and I was like, yeah. And she was like, "That's cool." and stuffs

 

[Jess2449]

It was pretty easy for me to come out as gay in my school. All you need to do is give subtle hints about it, act a little gay/girly, make gay jokes, call some other gay or call him a she and as long as you don't directly answer the question you are in a good position to see people's reaction to someone being gay. If some reactions are bad then you can just deny it directly and say that you were simply being funny. Else after they keep pressuring you to give them a clear answer you can tell it to them since they are used in the idea of you probably being gay and won't have an issue.

 

[RabidLynx]

Yeah, I'm bi. But does it matter? There's really nobody I want to date (at the moment), and trying to convince my parents that it's not just a phase and it's not a choice is like talking to a wall. There's no point because they're not going to change their minds. Not only that, my school is extremely homophobic and the news of me being bi would spread like wildfire, and I would probably be bashed for the rest of my school years by pretty much everyone. And since I'm most likely not going to date anyone while I'm in school, is it really that important that people know I'm bi? I don't think so. It's already taking a lot of courage to say this right now, and not because I think you guys will hate me or anything. It's taking a lot of courage to do this because this is the Internet and ANYBODY can see this, so who knows who will see this. Not only that, my parents are the type who like to know every single thing I'm doing. So they've probably somehow found out I go here, and they're probably reading this. And yep, probably when I get back to dad's house we'll have a nice little talk about how homosexuality is an abomination and that I'm too young to be thinking about this and how it's all a phase.

Ok. Sure. If that happens, fine. I don't care. Dad is going to have to accept that I'm not going to turn out to be his little christian republican clone that hates liberals. If it makes him happy, fine, I am NOT bisexual. But he can't change what I think and feel.

I have also accepted that I am gender-fluid. This describes me perfectly, some days I wake up feeling masculine and other days feminine. I don't let my biological sex get in the way of who I am, in fact I just would like to forget about that. Because to me, what's in between my legs are not important (except for which bathroom you go to). I've never mentioned my actual sex simply because to me it is non-existent. And I like it that way.

If you couldn't tell I've been thinking a lot about these kinds of things, and I now realize that these things about me that I've known all these years actually have names. I know who I am now, and I'm glad, this kind of crap has been on my mind for a while now and it's great to get it off my chest. But like I said, does it really matter if the people around me know? If somebody asks then I'll be honest, and if my parents somehow find out I will have to deal with it, but right now they don't know, so why bring it up if you know it's going to bring a crapstorm of drama? So yeah, that's why I haven't "come out" yet...

god I feel like a wuss

 

[Llamapotamus]

Yeah, I'm bi. But does it matter? There's really nobody I want to date (at the moment), and trying to convince my parents that it's not just a phase and it's not a choice is like talking to a wall. There's no point because they're not going to change their minds. Not only that, my school is extremely homophobic and the news of me being bi would spread like wildfire, and I would probably be bashed for the rest of my school years by pretty much everyone. And since I'm most likely not going to date anyone while I'm in school, is it really that important that people know I'm bi? I don't think so. It's already taking a lot of courage to say this right now, and not because I think you guys will hate me or anything. It's taking a lot of courage to do this because this is the Internet and ANYBODY can see this, so who knows who will see this. Not only that, my parents are the type who like to know every single thing I'm doing. So they've probably somehow found out I go here, and they're probably reading this. And yep, probably when I get back to dad's house we'll have a nice little talk about how homosexuality is an abomination and that I'm too young to be thinking about this and how it's all a phase.

Ok. Sure. If that happens, fine. I don't care. Dad is going to have to accept that I'm not going to turn out to be his little christian republican clone that hates liberals. If it makes him happy, fine, I am NOT bisexual. But he can't change what I think and feel.

I have also accepted that I am gender-fluid. This describes me perfectly, some days I wake up feeling masculine and other days feminine. I don't let my biological sex get in the way of who I am, in fact I just would like to forget about that. Because to me, what's in between my legs are not important (except for which bathroom you go to). I've never mentioned my actual sex simply because to me it is non-existent. And I like it that way.

If you couldn't tell I've been thinking a lot about these kinds of things, and I now realize that these things about me that I've known all these years actually have names. I know who I am now, and I'm glad, this kind of crap has been on my mind for a while now and it's great to get it off my chest. But like I said, does it really matter if the people around me know? If somebody asks then I'll be honest, and if my parents somehow find out I will have to deal with it, but right now they don't know, so why bring it up if you know it's going to bring a crapstorm of drama? So yeah, that's why I haven't "come out" yet...

god I feel like a wuss

Bolded the parts that I agree with and are relevant in my case. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing this all wrong and I should tell someone. But I'm only a 1.5 on the Kinsey scale, so it's not like chances are high that I would need to come out any time soon. People just naturally assume I'm straight anyway because I usually behave heteronormatively.

Every so often, though.......................

 

[tehwereferret]

I think even though I told my parents long ago I am Bisexual, they probably still think it was just a phase at the time. Years later, after a failed marriage and multiple boyfriends, they probably believe I am straight. Of course, if they were to look through most of my profiles, it lists that I am attracted to both equally.

I never had a problem in school, as I never told anyone outside of my friends and the few females I had a crush on. Nowadays, as an adult, and todays trends have made it so much easier to just passively attract both.

 

[Mr. Jumps]

Hello, figured I should share, after all I didn't just spend a few week mornings sipping tea and reading yo not get my word in.


My story begins when I was 15, I had been moved to the Knoxville the year before. Not having any friends or not being able too. ( school was out for summer ) I was bored and lonely, parents were never around. When the were they would ignore me. I start school, I go through the whole year struggling to adjust to my new school teachers and such. Made no friends. Mid that summer I met a guy by the name of Zero on the internet, he was a local furry skype mod. I started making friends through skype... I ended up making friends at school who were also furs. Now this is where shit hits the fan. All these new friends I were meeting were gay. Being raised in a very strict Baptist family I knew my dad would be angry but... It felt right, I didn't mind a guy hitting on me... I turn 16, I was asked by one of my friends if I would like to try "dating" with him. So like any other curious teenager I said sure. Ended up in a abusive relations with him, he ended up punching me in the mouth after we start fighting. A few months later after a few million cals in chocolates and foods I was starting to fee better. Was making Bs and Cs in school ( great for me ) and had built a great relationship with my dad. About 10 months ago I dated a guy online for 6 months, ended up breaking up with him over personal reasons. That night I was very depressed and confused, I went to school the next day and told my best friend I was gay and decked straight in the mouth. I never saw it coming, someone I knew for a while and we shared everything together. Went to consulting that afternoon, and write a letter to my mum, explaining how my life has been barrel rolling in a massive corkscrew of fab. I came out the closet that afternoon to Just my mum. She was like " Knew that " she begged to tell dad. I felt skeptical at first, should of said no. Finally agreed that afternoon, she told him and he was totally ok with it. Or I though, recently he gives me super amounts of crap for being girly. I was always girly, like almost everyone I have told said they knew I was gay. It just kills me every time he says something to me, its always negative. What kills me even more is he has ( I have no proof ) but its seems my brother has started hating me... Im sorry I wrote so much. Cheers!

 

[Benji]

Hello, figured I should share, after all I didn't just spend a few week mornings sipping tea and reading yo not get my word in.


My story begins when I was 15, I had been moved to the Knoxville the year before. Not having any friends or not being able too. ( school was out for summer ) I was bored and lonely, parents were never around. When the were they would ignore me. I start school, I go through the whole year struggling to adjust to my new school teachers and such. Made no friends. Mid that summer I met a guy by the name of Zero on the internet, he was a local furry skype mod. I started making friends through skype... I ended up making friends at school who were also furs. Now this is where shit hits the fan. All these new friends I were meeting were gay. Being raised in a very strict Baptist family I knew my dad would be angry but... It felt right, I didn't mind a guy hitting on me... I turn 16, I was asked by one of my friends if I would like to try "dating" with him. So like any other curious teenager I said sure. Ended up in a abusive relations with him, he ended up punching me in the mouth after we start fighting. A few months later after a few million cals in chocolates and foods I was starting to fee better. Was making Bs and Cs in school ( great for me ) and had built a great relationship with my dad. About 10 months ago I dated a guy online for 6 months, ended up breaking up with him over personal reasons. That night I was very depressed and confused, I went to school the next day and told my best friend I was gay and decked straight in the mouth. I never saw it coming, someone I knew for a while and we shared everything together. Went to consulting that afternoon, and write a letter to my mum, explaining how my life has been barrel rolling in a massive corkscrew of fab. I came out the closet that afternoon to Just my mum. She was like " Knew that " she begged to tell dad. I felt skeptical at first, should of said no. Finally agreed that afternoon, she told him and he was totally ok with it. Or I though, recently he gives me super amounts of crap for being girly. I was always girly, like almost everyone I have told said they knew I was gay. It just kills me every time he says something to me, its always negative. What kills me even more is he has ( I have no proof ) but its seems my brother has started hating me... Im sorry I wrote so much. Cheers!

Let it out! No apologies! Eventually you'll be in a social setting where physical violence over stuff like this is unheard of and Dad's opinions don't matter.

Yeah, I'm bi. But does it matter? There's really nobody I want to date (at the moment), and trying to convince my parents that it's not just a phase and it's not a choice is like talking to a wall. There's no point because they're not going to change their minds. Not only that, my school is extremely homophobic and the news of me being bi would spread like wildfire, and I would probably be bashed for the rest of my school years by pretty much everyone. And since I'm most likely not going to date anyone while I'm in school, is it really that important that people know I'm bi? I don't think so. It's already taking a lot of courage to say this right now, and not because I think you guys will hate me or anything. It's taking a lot of courage to do this because this is the Internet and ANYBODY can see this, so who knows who will see this. Not only that, my parents are the type who like to know every single thing I'm doing. So they've probably somehow found out I go here, and they're probably reading this. And yep, probably when I get back to dad's house we'll have a nice little talk about how homosexuality is an abomination and that I'm too young to be thinking about this and how it's all a phase.

Ok. Sure. If that happens, fine. I don't care. Dad is going to have to accept that I'm not going to turn out to be his little christian republican clone that hates liberals. If it makes him happy, fine, I am NOT bisexual. But he can't change what I think and feel.

I have also accepted that I am gender-fluid. This describes me perfectly, some days I wake up feeling masculine and other days feminine. I don't let my biological sex get in the way of who I am, in fact I just would like to forget about that. Because to me, what's in between my legs are not important (except for which bathroom you go to). I've never mentioned my actual sex simply because to me it is non-existent. And I like it that way.

If you couldn't tell I've been thinking a lot about these kinds of things, and I now realize that these things about me that I've known all these years actually have names. I know who I am now, and I'm glad, this kind of crap has been on my mind for a while now and it's great to get it off my chest. But like I said, does it really matter if the people around me know? If somebody asks then I'll be honest, and if my parents somehow find out I will have to deal with it, but right now they don't know, so why bring it up if you know it's going to bring a crapstorm of drama? So yeah, that's why I haven't "come out" yet...

god I feel like a wuss

You're not a wuss. Everyone has a different timeline for coming out, especially as a bi gender-fluid individual. That's a lot--and taking your time to share that with people isn't a bad idea.

The more you think about these things, the more grounded you will feel when you finally decide to tell people. If you have that inner peace, whatever they say won't really matter at all!

 

[NekoXboy]

Hello, figured I should share, after all I didn't just spend a few week mornings sipping tea and reading yo not get my word in.


My story begins when I was 15, I had been moved to the Knoxville the year before. Not having any friends or not being able too. ( school was out for summer ) I was bored and lonely, parents were never around. When the were they would ignore me. I start school, I go through the whole year struggling to adjust to my new school teachers and such. Made no friends. Mid that summer I met a guy by the name of Zero on the internet, he was a local furry skype mod. I started making friends through skype... I ended up making friends at school who were also furs. Now this is where shit hits the fan. All these new friends I were meeting were gay. Being raised in a very strict Baptist family I knew my dad would be angry but... It felt right, I didn't mind a guy hitting on me... I turn 16, I was asked by one of my friends if I would like to try "dating" with him. So like any other curious teenager I said sure. Ended up in a abusive relations with him, he ended up punching me in the mouth after we start fighting. A few months later after a few million cals in chocolates and foods I was starting to fee better. Was making Bs and Cs in school ( great for me ) and had built a great relationship with my dad. About 10 months ago I dated a guy online for 6 months, ended up breaking up with him over personal reasons. That night I was very depressed and confused, I went to school the next day and told my best friend I was gay and decked straight in the mouth. I never saw it coming, someone I knew for a while and we shared everything together. Went to consulting that afternoon, and write a letter to my mum, explaining how my life has been barrel rolling in a massive corkscrew of fab. I came out the closet that afternoon to Just my mum. She was like " Knew that " she begged to tell dad. I felt skeptical at first, should of said no. Finally agreed that afternoon, she told him and he was totally ok with it. Or I though, recently he gives me super amounts of crap for being girly. I was always girly, like almost everyone I have told said they knew I was gay. It just kills me every time he says something to me, its always negative. What kills me even more is he has ( I have no proof ) but its seems my brother has started hating me... Im sorry I wrote so much. Cheers!

that sucks, i'm sorry your "best friend" was such an asshole. people like that are usually unintelligent and aren't worth your time. if he would punch you in the face for something you can't control, then he's got some serious problems. when it comes to your dad, if he makes you feel bad about yourself and doesn't want you to be you, then he's the one with the problem. don't let other people tell you how you should and shouldn't act. it's your life, so fuck anybody who want's to control how you live.

Tennessee must be tough though, being a sexually confused teenager is a bit easier up here in new york XD.

 

[Lycan7793]

Hey, my name is Lycan. I recently came out to my mom a few weeks ago, and now I'm trying to take the next steps to come out to the rest of my family. It went well with my mom, but she's afraid my dad will take it badly--maybe even leave us. I need to come out to my sister yet, as well as my father. Any thoughts, comments, tips, or ideas would be well appreciated. Thanks!

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

Hey, my name is Lycan. I recently came out to my mom a few weeks ago, and now I'm trying to take the next steps to come out to the rest of my family. It went well with my mom, but she's afraid my dad will take it badly--maybe even leave us. I need to come out to my sister yet, as well as my father. Any thoughts, comments, tips, or ideas would be well appreciated. Thanks!

Why would your father leave, exactly?

 

[Lycantwinkboy]

Because he can't handle it, or won't want to, or will blame my mom for not telling him sooner. Sorry, had to make a new account.

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

Because he can't handle it, or won't want to, or will blame my mom for not telling him sooner. Sorry, had to make a new account.

I see...

 

[Icky]

Hey, my name is Lycan. I recently came out to my mom a few weeks ago, and now I'm trying to take the next steps to come out to the rest of my family. It went well with my mom, but she's afraid my dad will take it badly--maybe even leave us. I need to come out to my sister yet, as well as my father. Any thoughts, comments, tips, or ideas would be well appreciated. Thanks!

If you think there's going to be a problem with your father, why bother telling him at all? Unless you've got a boy to bring home, anyway, there's not really much to be gained.

(Also, you probably shouldn't have made another account.)

 

[RabidLynx]

I was about to come out to a friend at school...

then, one of my other friends tells a secret to another "friend" (not about sexuality but still pretty personal). that "friend" decides to tell everybody, and now some other "friends" are ignoring that friend, and today they had a "polite discussion" about how they don't want to be friends with that person because of that secret. And now, drama is happening.

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back into closet*

 

[Llamapotamus]

I was about to come out to a friend at school...

then, one of my other friends tells a secret to another "friend" (not about sexuality but still pretty personal). that "friend" decides to tell everybody, and now some other "friends" are ignoring that friend, and today they had a "polite discussion" about how they don't want to be friends with that person because of that secret. And now, drama is happening.

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back into closet*

Man, you dodged a bullet there...so much for trustworthy friends.

 

[DeCatt]

People at skool:
"DeCatt are you a faggot or something?"
"Yes"
"Oh ok"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

Female family members:
"Oh (insert attractive character here) is such a hot guy"
"Yes he is"
"Oh DeCatt you so funny"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

Good old mate:
(Tries to jump on computer, I intercept and close tabs)
"Lol why did you have on there, gay porn?"
"Yes"
"Oh DeCatt you so funny"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

Cute single gay guy I really dig:
"Hi DeCatt"
"Hi guy"
"I wish I had a boyfriend"
"cough"
"Oh well, got to keep looking"
"COUGH"
Thinks I'm straight

Those are my adventures in gay

 

[Icky]

Female family members:
"Oh (insert attractive character here) is such a hot guy"
"Yes he is"
"Oh DeCatt you so funny"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

This is the bane of my existence. Every time I try to bring it up*, it gets laughed away as a joke.
*I'm only really worried about telling people like my roommate next semester, in case he has an issue with it now.

 

[Butters Shikkon]

People at skool:
"DeCatt are you a faggot or something?"
"Yes"
"Oh ok"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

Female family members:
"Oh (insert attractive character here) is such a hot guy"
"Yes he is"
"Oh DeCatt you so funny"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

Good old mate:
(Tries to jump on computer, I intercept and close tabs)
"Lol why did you have on there, gay porn?"
"Yes"
"Oh DeCatt you so funny"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

Cute single gay guy I really dig:
"Hi DeCatt"
"Hi guy"
"I wish I had a boyfriend"
";3c"
"Oh well, got to keep looking"
"Look right in my bedrooom bby."
His pants get tighter.

Those are my adventures in gay

Fix'ed the last part for what you should have done.

You know, I must say when I first found out I was gay I sorta approached the topic much as you did. Of course I sorta have a faggy air about me anyway so no one really is that surprised.

 

[Jags]

I decided to tell everyone in my lfie I was bisexual, just to get it out the way and over with. As I said, 'It's no big deal, just figured it'd be nice for you to know'. Geneeral 'We guessed' and apathy were what I got, so I'm pretty pleased. Only one person isn't happy and that's my boss, who's massivly homophobic. He was already a dick though, so I'm not overly bothered.

 

[Butters Shikkon]

I decided to tell everyone in my lfie I was bisexual, just to get it out the way and over with. As I said, 'It's no big deal, just figured it'd be nice for you to know'. Geneeral 'We guessed' and apathy were what I got, so I'm pretty pleased. Only one person isn't happy and that's my boss, who's massivly homophobic. He was already a dick though, so I'm not overly bothered.

The one person I must admit I would not like knowing my sexuality is my boss. Too much power.

I do hope he won't treat you any different.

 

[Sweetheartz22]

Not gonna lie. My husband was in denial that I was bi ever since we dated. Even after telling him for years, he still thought I was as straight as an arrow because I married a man. Obviously, I'm *supposed* to be straight if I married a guy with a dick....what the hell was *I* thinking??? ;V
But, that was resolved when I took out one of his porno magazines and started pointing out which girls were hot and why in vivid detail. So yeah, you could say he gets the idea now.

 

[Jags]

But, that was resolved when I took out one of his porno magazines and started pointing out which girls were hot and why in vivid detail. So yeah, you could say he gets the idea now.

That must have been the best half an hour of his life.

 

[Sweetheartz22]

That must have been the best half an hour of his life.

That times two. After I did that, he literally ran to his man cave and brought out the rest of his secret stash like it was Christmas morning lol Curse him for abusing my powers of bisexuality against me!!! Although, I'm not complaining because who *doesn't* like being surprised by free porno? Not this girl, I can tell you that much! ;3

 

[RabidLynx]

Man, you dodged a bullet there...so much for trustworthy friends.

Yep, these are the kind of people I hang with everyday. Why I don't know, but they certainly aren't helping my self-esteem, especially since one of them is extremely biphobic.

"DeCatt are you a faggot or something?"
"Yes"
"Oh ok"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

Female family members:
"Oh (insert attractive character here) is such a hot guy"
"Yes he is"
"Oh DeCatt you so funny"
Not sure if they know. Probably do

I KNOW THESE FEELS SO MUCH

People at my school have always kinda wondered if I was gay. Most of the time jokingly, but I've actually had some rumors spread around before. And this is when I thought I was straight, so I wasn't too happy about that. But now that I know I'm bi, nobody seems to care anymore. Sometimes I've said someone of the same sex is hot, and people laughed, but I'm pretty sure they thought I was joking. Most of the time when somebody asks about my sexuality, it goes like this:

Person: Hey are you gay?
RabidLynx: No... I'm bisexual
laughter

One time it went like this-

Person: Are you gay?
RabidLynx: No... I'm bi
Person: Hahahahaha... wait, are you really?
RabidLynx: Uh, n-no! Just joking...
RabidLynx (in my mind): GOD DAMNIT

 

[DeCatt]

Yep, these are the kind of people I hang with everyday. Why I don't know, but they certainly aren't helping my self-esteem, especially since one of them is extremely biphobic.



I KNOW THESE FEELS SO MUCH

People at my school have always kinda wondered if I was gay. Most of the time jokingly, but I've actually had some rumors spread around before. And this is when I thought I was straight, so I wasn't too happy about that. But now that I know I'm bi, nobody seems to care anymore. Sometimes I've said someone of the same sex is hot, and people laughed, but I'm pretty sure they thought I was joking. Most of the time when somebody asks about my sexuality, it goes like this:

Person: Hey are you gay?
RabidLynx: No... I'm bisexual
laughter

One time it went like this-

Person: Are you gay?
RabidLynx: No... I'm bi
Person: Hahahahaha... wait, are you really?
RabidLynx: Uh, n-no! Just joking...
RabidLynx (in my mind): GOD DAMNIT

Yeah I can empathize with that

Ah fuck it, decided to ask him out.
LEEEEROY JEEEEENKIIIIINS