Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)

[Rhykus Finlay]

Rekel, loving your avatar, and agreeing with you. Though I just told my parents, more a casual conversation. What they said back was a little weirder honestly, but they accept me anyway.

 

[Rekel]

Rekel, loving your avatar, and agreeing with you. Though I just told my parents, more a casual conversation. What they said back was a little weirder honestly, but they accept me anyway.

Well, that's good to hear. I'm just saying I'm not good with sensitive subjects, so the sticker is how I'd handle the situation if I were to be in it. Or something like that. It doesn't have to be a sticker. xD

Also, thanks about the avatar. It seems to be getting some praise, and that makes me happy.

 

[rastaeducation]

I can't come out for a long time to come, might never, feels bad man.

 

[silver_foxfang]

I haven't come out to anyone but my first and last bf! and that just sorta happened. I'm 21 years old. >.< my dad even told me it was ok if i wasn't straight and that he didn't care. None of my family would care! i just cant spit it out! I have no problem speaking my mind but this crap has my head all jammed up!

After six years i still cant talk about it! I'm pathetic!!

 

[Kitsune Cross]

I think a friend of mine is gay, he hasn't told me anything but he is like telling obvious and exaggerated gay remarks, like really really exaggerated, I have no problem with him being gay (if he is) but I want him to stop doing this, maybe I should ask? What should I do?

 

[galacticGenetics]

I have only half come out to my family? They think I'm bisexual (or they did in highschool. Now they think it's just a phase) and I guess that'll do?
Really only my friends know my whole ~*~*~Gender identity and sexuality~*~*~ mainly cause saying it out loud just makes me sound like a tumblr special snowflake wannabe...
I usually get really self conscious about it so with some crowds it's just easier to say I'm straight or I'm hella gay, and it sucks cause I'm such a huge advocate for gender and sexuality!
Everyone should be free and proud of who they are but...personally just for myself it's easier to just be an easy default.

 

[galacticGenetics]

I'd want to tell my parents, But they are the ultra freaky christian type and I wouldn't want to upset them, I think if I am ever going to do it, It will be via lengthy email, As I couldn't have the strength to tell them in person or even over telecommunications.

This is the miracle of technology! It makes these awkward conversations a little less horrific.
If you do decide to go through with telling them, I wish you luck!

Hopefully, even despite their religion, they'll understand that you're their kid and that nothing has changed that!

 

[Butters Shikkon]

I think a friend of mine is gay, he hasn't told me anything but he is like telling obvious and exaggerated gay remarks, like really really exaggerated, I have no problem with him being gay (if he is) but I want him to stop doing this, maybe I should ask? What should I do?

I know its been a few days since this was posted buuuuutttt...

Isn't homophobia like super rampant in your area? Would he be offended? If so, I wouldn't ask and hurt the friendship. But if he's cool with the gays, go ahead and ask. Never hurts to have a friend that you can confide in.

 

[Selachi]

This thread looks completely dead and I didn't expect to be posting anything here anytime soon, but yeah I just spontaneously came out as gay to 6 long time friends of mine last night. Wasn't planned at all, just sort of happened. Up until now, I suspect that my sexuality has always been a huge elephant in the room among my social group. We were at my buddy's house and in the middle of a conversation he just says something along the lines of "Alright ____, what's the deal with you know....you". I think there was a mutual understanding of what was being asked, so I just went for it and said "The deal is that i'm gay as fuck". Everyone was completely floored except for one guy (He was all like "I fucking knew it! I told you guys I was right about him but you wouldn't listen ect...), which was a surprise in itself because I was under the impression that everyone strongly suspected. I guess not though because apparently I don't "come off as gay". After the surprise wore off and some gay jokes got thrown back and forth, it became apparent that it wasn't a big deal to anyone so we moved onto other topics, got hammered, and ended up at Waffle House at 1:30 in the morning haha. Crazy thing is that leading up to this, I had run this exact scenario through my head multiple times before, and it ended up playing out just like I imagined. Best part was how casual it was. No tears and hugs and all that bs. It wasn't a big ordeal, just the way it should be imo. So yeah super proud of my friends for being awesome people. Only concern is that we all work together, and i'd rather it not spread around the workplace but whatever.

Still though, my love of furfaggotry is staying secret. It's undeniably weird, I can't expect people to understand it, and telling wouldn't accomplish anything. Maybe later on down the road if it becomes super obvious, but still probably not.

 

[Llamapotamus]

This thread looks completely dead and I didn't expect to be posting anything here anytime soon, but yeah I just spontaneously came out as gay to 6 long time friends of mine last night. Wasn't planned at all, just sort of happened. Up until now, I suspect that my sexuality has always been a huge elephant in the room among my social group. We were at my buddy's house and in the middle of a conversation he just says something along the lines of "Alright ____, what's the deal with you know....you". I think there was a mutual understanding of what was being asked, so I just went for it and said "The deal is that i'm gay as fuck". Everyone was completely floored except for one guy (He was all like "I fucking knew it! I told you guys I was right about him but you wouldn't listen ect...), which was a surprise in itself because I was under the impression that everyone strongly suspected. I guess not though because apparently I don't "come off as gay". After the surprise wore off and some gay jokes got thrown back and forth, it became apparent that it wasn't a big deal to anyone so we moved onto other topics, got hammered, and ended up at Waffle House at 1:30 in the morning haha. Crazy thing is that leading up to this, I had run this exact scenario through my head multiple times before, and it ended up playing out just like I imagined. Best part was how casual it was. No tears and hugs and all that bs. It wasn't a big ordeal, just the way it should be imo. So yeah super proud of my friends for being awesome people. Only concern is that we all work together, and i'd rather it not spread around the workplace but whatever.

Still though, my love of furfaggotry is staying secret. It's undeniably weird, I can't expect people to understand it, and telling wouldn't accomplish anything. Maybe later on down the road if it becomes super obvious, but still probably not.

That's legitimately awesome. If only more people would see it's really not a big deal.

 

[Nyte Kitsune]

My family knows I'm a furry.. My grandmother thinks its a bit wierd, but just let it go. My uncle thinks of us in the same lot with the Trekkers, SWToR, Medieval Cosplayers and such (Pretty much true). Alot of my family see's it as part of my Artwork, I do enjoy drawing, and do have stuff posted on Fur Affinity and Deviant Art (Under Sstaan). My sister is cool with it, my nieces think its cool. I think I got lucky having an open minded family though.. They always knew I was a little strange, the fact that I was a bit stranger didn't surprise them.

 

[Kosdu]

My family knows I'm a furry.. My grandmother thinks its a bit wierd, but just let it go. My uncle thinks of us in the same lot with the Trekkers, SWToR, Medieval Cosplayers and such (Pretty much true). Alot of my family see's it as part of my Artwork, I do enjoy drawing, and do have stuff posted on Fur Affinity and Deviant Art (Under Sstaan). My sister is cool with it, my nieces think its cool. I think I got lucky having an open minded family though.. They always knew I was a little strange, the fact that I was a bit stranger didn't surprise them.

Hey that's good and all, but this is about coming out as LGBT.

 

[PastryOfApathy]

Well I finally came out as trans to my dad. Holy fuck that was terrifying.

 

[Kleric]

I'll admit to it if someone asks the right questions, but so far only one friend has so he's the only one to know that I'm don'tgiveafucksexual (Bi / pan).
I definitely don't show any signs of it, unless you count being single my whole life which makes it a bit more unknown and therefor more questionable. My friend just sometimes asked me if I was gay as a way of picking on me, and I always had justified myself by saying No and nothing more because I wasn't gay, but nor did I need to hint that I wasn't straight either. One day after he asked the same question, and me saying no again, he then asked me if I was bisexual, and then my mind was like "Shit!". I reluctantly said yes, and while he said he was fine with that, I wasn't able to converse about it much (because coming out for the first time I wanted to explain everything), he instead stayed quiet and probably wasn't listening. :|
As for everyone else, I'd prefer not to just blatantly yell it out especially when still living with my parents. While I do think they'd still be accepting of me, It's still a bit scary because they are extreme right wing conservatives and religious. :?

 

[Teckolf]

Honestly, I am confused leaning gay or bi but very much in the closet about it. Luckily no one has ever really thought of me as gay as I tend to be the stereo-typical, don't give a crap, single, bachelor dude.

The only thing that is fairly obvious is that I am not looking for a girlfriend. Everyone just assumes it is because of the intensity of my schooling. A friend of mine might be catching on though as I don't notice attractive women much at all, and I don't have much of a response when they are pointed out to me.

 

[Kleric]

Honestly, I am confused leaning gay or bi but very much in the closet about it. Luckily no one has ever really thought of me as gay as I tend to be the stereo-typical, don't give a crap, single, bachelor dude.

The only thing that is fairly obvious is that I am not looking for a girlfriend. Everyone just assumes it is because of the intensity of my schooling. A friend of mine might be catching on though as I don't notice attractive women much at all, and I don't have much of a response when they are pointed out to me.

I will sometimes just play along with my friends if they point out an "attractive" woman, either that or express that I don't care for vanity. I think using the 2nd as a response has maybe led my friends to slightly catch on, but I've yet to be confronted with anything.

 

[RabidLynx]

Finally came out to a few friends after being a pussy for a few years... and it was not as terrifying as I thought it would be. I was actually in shock, because one of my friends had once told me a few years ago that being bisexual was even worse than being gay. But when I noticed that they had become much more accepting of gays, bisexuals, and trans (and I knew this by looking at some pictures on Facebook and a few conversations on the bus), I felt like I could trust them more and more. A few weeks ago, when we got on the bus, they told me they were bi, and I saw that as a door opening and I came out too. I was scared, and my heart was pounding, but they just said "really? that's cool." and they smiled, and we started talking about something else.

I also came out to a couple friends who are also bi, and I had absolutely no idea they were bi too. I have not told my two closest friends yet, but I think one of them is starting to catch on, and the other one I'm not sure what they think about gays so I'm just going to wait on that one...

I'm so happy to see that being gay/bi/anything other than straight/cis is starting to become accepting and not a "bad thing" anymore. I still think gay pride is stupid and your sexuality shouldn't be a big fucking deal, but I'm glad that in the society we're starting to get right in the middle.

 

[VintageLynx]

Honestly, I am confused leaning gay or bi but very much in the closet about it. Luckily no one has ever really thought of me as gay as I tend to be the stereo-typical, don't give a crap, single, bachelor dude.

The only thing that is fairly obvious is that I am not looking for a girlfriend. Everyone just assumes it is because of the intensity of my schooling. A friend of mine might be catching on though as I don't notice attractive women much at all, and I don't have much of a response when they are pointed out to me.

I could have written that! Where I work there are a few single engineer dudes but somehow engineers never speak about sex/relationships. It's like if its not in the blueprint or user manual then it doesn't exist. Being that there are mainly men there its not like I can even chat with women - its uptight batchelor engineer dudes all the way. The days seem long...

 

[DammitMax]

I came out fully as pansexual and transgender to my family and I'm so lucky that they all support me. I've just recently been put on hormones too

 

[Ayattar]

Well I finally came out as trans to my dad. Holy fuck that was terrifying.

Pics or didn't happen.

 

[MyLittleFnordy]

OK I'll say something here but I need to tell some background stuff first. When I was 13 I was very much bi, this made my parents a little bit upset. I later had a long term relationship with an older man for five years. It wasn't exactly a health relationship either. I was young and stupid. To be perfectly honest none of this made anyone batter an eyelid (Liberal UK good times) but now I am much older and only just rediscovering who and what I am. The first thing I did was discuss this with the missus. I expected to be thrown out of the house, bags packed and everything. It didn't go down like that. She is 100% behind me. We were always a bit of a kink couple and she wanted me to explore the full range of who I am. She already did so. I'm old though [30 :'(], I have responsibilities and time is a valued commodity. It's a relief that all this is OK but to me it's the least of my worries right now. I suppose these things loose impact as you get older.

 

[Kookyfox]

I recently came out as gay to my friends at the University. I was amazed by their reactions: pretty much all of them were like "Yeah that's cool man... that's all you wanted you wanted to tell me?". The most extreme reaction I had was: "oh wait you're serious? oh well that's cool for you.." . It may seem ordinary to most of you but for me it was really surprising. I used to live in a smaller town in France, that you might because of a really famous song about it's really famous bridge. There I only made my coming out to a few close friends but their reactions a lot different. They were really surprised, they thought I wanted to bang them, that I was some kind of sex-crazed deviant, when I talk to them even today they get really distant and alaways mock me for what I am. One of the girls I came out to (she told me that she loved me, so I had to tell her) even proposed me to go see a priest to "cure" me.
I am really glad that my new friends here are much more tolerant! as for my family there's no way I'd tell them! My mom expects me to become a good father, my sister is way too young to know, my father would be disappointed and the rest of my family are either intolerant, or just conservative, sometimes both.

 

[NightWolf]

I'm in an unusual stage. My parents don't know that I'm gay (they might suspect I am, but don't have confirmation. It's basically 'dont ask, dont tell') but basically everyone else knows I'm gay. I don't deny it but I don't announce it either.

I came out to myself and accepted me being gay a few years ago. I knew I was different all my life. I wasn't attracted to girls like everyone else and I tried having girlfriends, but it never worked out. I can be friends with a girl, but I couldn't be in a romantic relationship with one. I tried to tell myself I would have man-crushes.

This might sound weird, but it was watching the new Star Trek movie from 2009 and I realized I was attracted to Nero. He's basically the one who made me realize I was gay and I accepted it.

 

[fureedom]

I've been trying to definitively discover my sexuality since I was 14. Throughout high school, I had feelings for both sexes, but the latter two years I thought I was completely gay, but only told two female friends. Met a guy I liked over FA. He lived in Toronto and I live in Chicago. His father had business in Chicago, so he tagged along and we met. I woke up early and picked them up from the airport and finally hung out with the dude I've been talking to online for about a year. His father knew everything, but my parents knew nothing. As Murphy's law would have it, what ensued was a series of lies and extremely anxiety provoking situations. All because I'm too insecure to tell the truth. I ridiculously attempted to keep all the stories straight and maintain all the lies I told. My parents were confused and frustrated with me, but they started talking to my man's dad and he may have taken a more professional approach to easing the tension and maintaining the status quo regarding what my parents knew.

As I'm typing this (and this is also why I'm typing this whole thing out) I'm realizing just how extremely insecure I am... but maybe insecurity is a function of transient anxiety...maybe it's why I like drugs and alcohol so much.. hmm

From this point forward my parents did not probe for information at all and I avoided any conversation that may have even lead to that. My man visited once more during the holidays and I visited him in Toronto that following summer. Our "in person" relationship was very sexually stimulating (even though we never moved past blowjobs) but inevitably failed to develop any of the qualitative constituents such as pushing psychological boundaries and sacrificing time, energy, resources that you would not have sacrificed were it not for your significant other. Perhaps we were too young for that.

My parents are not homophobic, but my fear is that they'll treat me differently if I told them I was bisexual. They'll spew the stereotypical shit that the media drilled into their skulls at me. They'll ask me if I'm going to the pride parade. They'll ask me if I find this, that, and the other man attractive.

I'm not trying to hear that.

Seriously, what pisses me off is the *gasp* reaction to coming out (positive or negative). Honestly I wish it were like:

Me: "Hey mom, I got accepted into College University"
Mother: "That's wonderful! I wish you the best of luck, not that you'll need it" (or some bullshit like that)
Me: "btw I'm bisexual"
Mother: "That's wonderful! I wish you the best of luck, not that you'll need it"

END
OF
CONVERSATION

This is why I'm not attracted to flamboyant gay men. They perpetuate the gasp factor and cause MORE anxiety for those of us who aren't as secure as they are. My dream is to fuck a straight guy, that way I'll be more secure than he is and I won't feel as bad and I'll also know just how to treat the guy.

Once me and my man drifted apart, I didn't have sex for almost two years and I began to use drugs.. a lot of drugs.. It came to a point were it was not uncommon for me to insufflate 80mg oxycodone salts and take five 20mg amphetamine tablets throughout the day. I developed a problem and did my time in a psychiatric hospital because of it. I stayed completely clean and sober for 9 months following my release, now I dabble here and there to keep my sanity. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I have a feeling that this may in part be due to my insecurities.

Then I met a girl

She's fun, she's loving, she's loopy, she understands me, and I love her. I told her I was bisexual before we started dating and even inquired about threesomes with another man (which she declined). It was still worth it for me and we've been dating for four years. I don't regret a thing, but I still get sexual urges for other men that I don't know what to do with... and I have to do something with them.

I used to work with this chubby dude who gained literally 70lbs in 6 months(I am fetish). He went to reach for something, "excuse me, sorry dude" and his moob brushed up against my forearm... I just melted. I had to go to the bathroom to wait for my cock to stop throbbing (has anybody ever rubbed one out at work? I've done it before and I don't know if it's worth the anxiety of walking out of the bathroom after that haha)

Thats why I don't understand why sex and relationships have to be directly correlated. I think sex should be more like, "Oh and I grabbed a cup of coffee with Hector this morning." Just on some casual shit.

Also, I know I'm not completely gay because I don't want to hold hands and walk into the sunset with another man. I find kissing another man extremely uncomfortable. It is SEX AND ONLY SEX, other than that it is best friends and roomates. I get much more romantic with women.

Thanks to everyfur willing to dissect this and make suggestions or give advice. I owe you nine blowjobs.

 

[fureedom]

Take that last post with a grain of salt. It's not that serious. JEEZ I'm fucking worse than menopausal women.