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Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)

MalletFace

MalletFace

The slave of the Jlfksjlfl
Banned
LazerMaster5 said:
I should probably come out as bi at one point or another. I have to wait until the time is right. I don't need it to be some huge dramatic talk, as I hate those. I don't want to be seen as any less of a human being because of my sexuality. I don't need to be considered "normal", but I also don't want to be considered a freak or an attention whore. Yeah, my dad is fairly liberal, but after the last visit to Grandma's house, I am not so sure I can trust him with this knowledge.
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I've basically told myself that, but it took me years to come out to a few people. I basically used it as an excuse.

"Shoot, she had a fight. Best law low."
"Dangit, she's got the sniffles. Best lay low."
"Dadgum, she ran out of onions. Best lay low."

I still use it as an excuse. I am too picky about it when it probably isn't a big deal for my family.

But this is a really complicated social issue that varies from person to person, and my advice of "don't worry yourself out of it" may not really hold any value to you.
 
Ratical

Ratical

New Member
Astrium said:
So I came out to my mom as bisexual in the car tonight... She says she's processing, fingers crossed everything goes okay.
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I'm pulling for you, Astrium. I know it's tough to hear, but if things get a little heated then know two things:

- The worst is always at the beginning
- Your mom still loves you. Don't hate her for taking time to think about this. Give her the benefit of the doubt and she'll be more willing to return the sentiment.

Stay strong!
 
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Willow

Willow

FAF's #1 Terrorist
I accidentally came out to my grandpa as trans the other day. It was weird.
He accepted it, but it was weird.
 
Ratical

Ratical

New Member
monochromatic-dragon said:
I'm not brave, I just got off easy. :p
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You are, dear. If you weren't, you'd run away from being genderqueer instead of accepting it, or let it nibble at you like ants on ice cream. I dunno why I used that metaphor, I must really want ice cream.

But yeah, girls do have it easier than guys for stuff like this, I'm not gonna argue that, but you won a personal battle all the same. :)
 
Astrium

Astrium

King of the Noodles
So about 20 minutes ago my mom and I sat down and had a chat about my coming out yesterday. She asked me to explain how I know I'm bi. I don't think she entirely understands yet, but I'm sure she'll get there.
 
Butters Shikkon

Butters Shikkon

Patron Saint of Queers
Astrium said:
So about 20 minutes ago my mom and I sat down and had a chat about my coming out yesterday. She asked me to explain how I know I'm bi. I don't think she entirely understands yet, but I'm sure she'll get there.
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"Well, Mom. When I see a man with a nice, tight ass or a ripped core, my brain sends a signal to engorge my penis with blood, resulting in an erection."

There ya go.
 
Caledonian

Caledonian

Baa'd Wool'f
I have absolutely no clue what my sexuality is.
 
SodaBubbles

SodaBubbles

I will deliver the explosion
Pansexual and poly here, and I already know I can't come out to my parents. They're viciously opposed to anything not hetero and monogamous. For varying reasons they're not in my life anymore anyway. The people who matter to me know, and living in the South makes "weirdness" like poly have to be tucked away. Shame, but it doesn't bother me terribly much. It used to, but as I got older I stopped worrying about it.
 
monochromatic-dragon

monochromatic-dragon

Sorry Mom
I think "bigender" is a more accurate label for me than "genderfluid". Because I don't necessarily feel like my male and female sides "switch off", but they are just constant states of being. Not that labeling myself is all-important, now that I know what my gender situation is called I can move forward :p
 
Llamapotamus

Llamapotamus

Member
monochromatic-dragon said:
I think "bigender" is a more accurate label for me than "genderfluid". Because I don't necessarily feel like my male and female sides "switch off", but they are just constant states of being. Not that labeling myself is all-important, now that I know what my gender situation is called I can move forward :p
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"Are you a boy, or a girl?"

"....yes ;)"
 
B

Bangaroo

Gay Nerd
I came out as gay in December officially, though my friends mostly already knew.

my biggest surprise has been the amount of people who told me they figured it out without me having to tell them!
 
Ratical

Ratical

New Member
Bangaroo said:
I came out as gay in December officially, though my friends mostly already knew.

my biggest surprise has been the amount of people who told me they figured it out without me having to tell them!
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That's always good. Having someone you can fall back on if things don't work out is probably for the best. Guess you weren't as good at concealing it as you thought, but that was just your true self wanting to get out. Great to hear. :)

I have a suspicion my mom thinks I'm gay. I never bring up my sexuality, but on the incredibly rare instances it became the topic on conversation, she just assumed I was asexual and I left it at that. But whenever I'm talking with her about something that's bothering me, she usually adds at the end "isn't there something else...?" and I'm just thinking "what else? What does she think I wanna say?" It might just be me being paranoid, though. I love my mom to pieces, but...

Gah, I'm too old to be having issues like this, but it's how I've lived my life up 'til now and I guess I've just gotten used to it. It helps put the plight of trans people in perspective for me, though. They have to come out and change their appearance. I can't rightfully complain when they're going through so much more (and looking good at the same time ;)). Talk about humbling.
 
Taralack

Taralack

Hit 'em right between the eyes
monochromatic-dragon said:
I'm straight... I'm straight... I'm straight... wait, am I straight? Aw shit, I'm fuckin queer.

^basically my life over the past month or so. I've come to the realization that I am actually genderqueer. I grew up as a "tomboy" I guess you would call it, venomously opposed to anything that was too "girly". I refused to wear dresses, skirts, and even gene pants (I wore cloth pants for the LONGEST ass time, until about 4th grade) I've had crushes on girls since I was 6 years old.

But I guess my childhood doesn't matter. What matters is that sometimes I feel male, and other times I feel female. Sometimes I feel a little bit in between. I think my "maleness" can account for the fact that I'm bi-romantic (but not bi-sexual) I tend to feel more romantic towards women during my "male" periods. I like to dress in a way that reflects both genders, but I don't try to change my body (aside from hiding my "curves" underneath baggy clothing, and stuff like that) I actually love my body the way it is, besides maybe my breasts, but I feel like breast reduction surgery would be a little too extreme.
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Holy shit, this is basically me down to a T. I'm glad there's others who feel like I do. Gender is a complicated thing isn't it.

I don't really feel the need to "come out" so to speak, I'm already married and have been 100% upfront with my husband about my gender thoughts, and my family is... I guess while not openly or aggressively homophobic, they aren't exactly open minded either. Telling them about this is just going to complicate and confuse matters. They've already accepted me for being a tomboy anyway, so I don't really see the need to say anything.
 
TidesofFate

TidesofFate

Your friendly neighborhood Executioner
I never feel the need to come out as asexual, but I often find myself having to say something else because I don't want to have to explain what an asexual is all the time.
 
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