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Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)

Mentova

I live, I die, I live again
Well, you're bi leaning straight, aren't you? I wouldn't say you even need to talk about it if that's the case, if you were leaning more towards men then I'd say it is a bit of a topic. But yeah, I can't decide if my dad hates gays or not. My cousin is flamingly gay, and my uncle is in total denial and my dad thinks it's hilarious and he is really glad that he is not in that "poor bastard's" situation. ~ooohhhh~ :V
Yes I am bi leaning straight. Girls are the best but can't go wrong with a nice dicking from time to time. :V

And sorry to hear that. That does not sound like a good situation.
 
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Larry

Guest
Yes I am bi leaning straight. Girls are the best but can't go wrong with a nice dicking from time to time. :V
Wow, that was painful to read...

Um, guys? I think I'm ready to come out as bi-sexual. The thing is, I really don't have a clue who to tell, much less know who's safe to tell (I have a LOT of big-mouthed friends). I'm VERY fucking sure that I'm not telling my parents, since they're not gay-friendly people. I have some friends that are understanding, and that they'll still love me, but I have the bravery of a mouse. I can't bear the reaction, knowing what I just said.

I always thought that maybe I should live my entire life in the closet; I don't tell my friends/family and I live my life as bi. But I can't lie to myself and hide my (future) partner from others. That wouldn't be right at all.

What's better for me to do, guys?
 

Mr. Brightside

Mr. Perma-absent
I always thought that maybe I should live my entire life in the closet; I don't tell my friends/family and I live my life as bi. But I can't lie to myself and hide my (future) partner from others. That wouldn't be right at all.
This is what I'm doing right now. Then again, you have at least a few friends that wouldn't mind and wouldn't tell.

My parents would either disown me, send me to a mental ward/correctional facility, or, worst of all, lie to themselves that I'm joking for the rest of their lives. They very much despise gays with the burning passion of 1,000 hells, and everyone in my school, especially most of my friends in the school, are very much the same, with the exception of a few who wouldn't mind, but would fuck off and tell the entire school. I'd probably be ostracized and then lynched if I ever came out as bi.

If your area's the same, then you'd be better off keeping it inside and then immediately leaving once you graduate for somewhere a bit better.
 

Schwimmwagen

Well-Known Member
I'unno, Larry. I think 15 is a bit of an early age to come out at. I'm 16, almost 17, and I have no intention of coming out until I'm at least living away from my family.
 

Ekho

:/
Wow, that was painful to read...

Um, guys? I think I'm ready to come out as bi-sexual. The thing is, I really don't have a clue who to tell, much less know who's safe to tell (I have a LOT of big-mouthed friends). I'm VERY fucking sure that I'm not telling my parents, since they're not gay-friendly people. I have some friends that are understanding, and that they'll still love me, but I have the bravery of a mouse. I can't bear the reaction, knowing what I just said.

I always thought that maybe I should live my entire life in the closet; I don't tell my friends/family and I live my life as bi. But I can't lie to myself and hide my (future) partner from others. That wouldn't be right at all.

What's better for me to do, guys?

It sounds like it would be best to go to your friends who are most understanding (and hopefully not the loud-mouthed ones). Hopefully they can be supportive and listen to anything you need to tell them. Out of curiosity, do you have any siblings or other close family members who be more understanding?

And I know what you mean about bravery. I want to tell my parents first and then my brothers that I'm gay, and I'm pretty sure they'll all be OK with it. But I'm still so afraid to tell them. :/
 
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Larry

Guest
This is what I'm doing right now. Then again, you have at least a few friends that wouldn't mind and wouldn't tell.

My parents would either disown me, send me to a mental ward/correctional facility, or, worst of all, lie to themselves that I'm joking for the rest of their lives. They very much despise gays with the burning passion of 1,000 hells, and everyone in my school, especially most of my friends in the school, are very much the same, with the exception of a few who wouldn't mind, but would fuck off and tell the entire school. I'd probably be ostracized and then lynched if I ever came out as bi.

If your area's the same, then you'd be better off keeping it inside and then immediately leaving once you graduate for somewhere a bit better.
Same here. Once I'm older, and have the requirements to live by myself, I will move out immediately. Maybe then I won't feel tension everytime something about my sexuality comes up.
I'unno, Larry. I think 15 is a bit of an early age to come out at. I'm 16, almost 17, and I have no intention of coming out until I'm at least living away from my family.
I guess you're right about that. But, I've kinda been feeling affection for boys, as well as girls, since I was like 12. I thought it was just a temporary "change", and that I'll be straight in the end, but I still feel the same. I never forced myself into liking boys, it was natural. That's what gives me the reason that I know I'm into my own sex. And three years is a lot of time, and the time was very early, so that's why I feel like I should come out to someone at my age.
It sounds like it would be best to go to your friends who are most understanding (and hopefully not the loud-mouthed ones). Hopefully they can be supportive and listen to anything you need to tell them. Out of curiosity, do you have any siblings or other close family members who be more understanding?

And I know what you mean about bravery. I want to tell my parents first and then my brothers that I'm gay, and I'm pretty sure they'll all be OK with it. But I'm still so afraid to tell them. :/

I think ALL of my female cousins would understand ('cause well, they're young and female. Yeah, I do feel more comfortable if I came out to a woman than a man), but I really don't think anyone else in my family would be understanding. Either way, I don't think I'll ever tell anyone in my family that I'm gay. They're just gonna have to try hard to find out.

I'm glad that your parents would be the first one you'll tell, but for me, my parents will be the last--scratch that--THEY WILL NEVER KNOW.
 

Grey Wolverine

The saint of Furr Affinity
Well damn, I have a problem and I don't quite know what to do about it. See, I met this nice guy a little bit ago, and I think things may become more than friends, lets leave it at that. Anyways, here is the problem, I have a friend everyone calls Jamie and he is a nice guy, but we have these weird text wars and he sent me one that said "I want you Evan" and my Mother found it. Immediately she started asking me who Jamie is and when I said "Well everyone calls him Jamie" she yelled at me "EVAN! YOU'RE A FAG! What is wrong with you!" than I had to explain these texting wars. So the problem is this, she and my 2 sisters, and my brother are all homophobic, what do I do? And yes, you really are the only people I can ask about this.
 

Mr. Brightside

Mr. Perma-absent
So the problem is this, she and my 2 sisters, and my brother are all homophobic, what do I do? And yes, you really are the only people I can ask about this.
I'm not re-posting what I did for Larry. Look back since it does have some relevance. Also, yeah, I feel the same way about FAF, sadly.
 

BlooPonie

New Member
I am very confused right now. I have a sort of feeling that I might be bi and it is bugging me. Not that I am against people that are bi or gay it is just my parents are very strict on these types of things. And I don't really care about if the person I am dating is a man or a woman (usually perfer women just so my dad doesn't find out, unless the guy is really my type, in which case I will be super sneaky). Just told my best friend and he is cool with it. I am just really confused right now...

Also, I just decided to accept it very recently (kinda). I am a somewhat feminine (spelled wrong) person and still not 100% sure if I am bi or not. And another reason I don't wanna tell my parents is that my mom is a very strict Christian. I am still a christian but less so. And finally, has anyone ever felt that they are not sure if their sexuality and what to do? :(
 
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Larry

Guest
I am very confused right now. I have a sort of feeling that I might be bi and it is bugging me. Not that I am against people that are bi or gay it is just my parents are very strict on these types of things. And I don't really care about if the person I am dating is a man or a woman (usually perfer women just so my dad doesn't find out, unless the guy is really my type, in which case I will be super sneaky). Just told my best friend and he is cool with it. I am just really confused right now...

Also, I just decided to accept it very recently (kinda). I am a somewhat feminine (spelled wrong) person and still not 100% sure if I am bi or not. And another reason I don't wanna tell my parents is that my mom is a very strict Christian. I am still a christian but less so. And finally, has anyone ever felt that they are not sure if their sexuality and what to do? :(
I've gone through the same thing you're going through. Personally, fuck anyone that goes against you for being "different", and don't like that strict parenting shit stop you from naturally feeling what you feel. I think it's okay for you not to tell your parents when they're obviously against homosexuality (that's what I'm doing) Knowing what your sexual orientation is what you're going have to find out on your own. Hope you have fun. :3


 

William

I am the guy.
I came out to my parents when I was 16. Even now they still think it's a phase. My dad likes to "playfully" tease me about it, like saying "So you still like suckin dick, don't ya boy?" He's a hardass, military guy. I tried to prove him wrong. I started working out and exercising to be more manly. But no matter how many miles I run, or how much I can bench press, he doesn't give a shit. When I was younger, all I wanted was acceptance. Now that I'm older and there's still none of that, I don't know what I want.
My mom is too chickenshit to disagree with my dad, so she tried to convince me to just "be normal around my father". She also tried to convince me it was a phase.

When I hit 18, I moved out and lived with a friend for 2 years, then moved up here to Chicago. I'm still pissed at my parents but I call them to make sure they're doing okay as often as I can. Call me a traditionalist but I still think family should keep in contact regardless of things you think they should change. I was never abused or neglected, we just didn't agree on a lot of things.

Tl;dr it went badly.
 
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Larry

Guest
Rave: Larry Finally Comes Out

After receiving advice from the Coming Out thread, and having a long thought about it, I finally became a man and summoned up the courage.

I FINALLY CAME OUT TO SOMEONE.

I came out to one of my female friends at church through text messaging. Even though we were three feet away, we were in a room full of people, and I only wanted her to know. It was a very long process. She was joking around in the beginning by telling me she didn't know who I was. Then, it took me five minutes to press the send button, knowing that I was about to make a milestone in my life:
Me: "I'm bi."
Her:"You're also (my name)."
Me:"I'm being serious."
Her:"I know."
She asked a shitload of questions, and some of them were kinda aimed at her cute boyfriend. All in all, she was understanding, something that I was really hoping for. I kinda felt some weight lifted off after coming out, and it feels good.

So now, I am officially bisexual, leaning on gay. I really don't know if I should've posted this in the Coming Out thread, but this was a remarkable moment in my life for me, so I'm kinda raving about this. I hope you don't mind. :3

tl;dr (seriously?): I'm bi, came out to a girl, I feel relieved, raving about this.
 

dinosaurdammit

White Devil
Re: Rave: Larry Finally Comes Out

Hmmmmm. Somehow I am not surprised. Glad it worked out for you and all. Some people lose friends over it. Tis petty really. I don't care who you love or who you bone just make sure it's healthy for both. (emotionally and physically)
 

CannonFodder

Resistance is futile! If 0 ohm

Paul'o'fox

amica mea Musica
Re: Rave: Larry Finally Comes Out

Congratulations, I fist came out to a christian female friend too.
 

CannonFodder

Resistance is futile! If 0 ohm

Aden

Play from your ****ing HEART
Re: Rave: Larry Finally Comes Out

I did an experiment a few years ago and found that it was a lot easier to come out as bi to people than just "gay". It's like they get offended if you don't find their sex sexually attractive (or don't share their attraction for the opposite sex).

Also congrats. Great feeling, isn't it?
 
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Larry

Guest
Re: Rave: Larry Finally Comes Out

Congratulations, I fist came out to a christian female friend too.
I have such a dirty mind.
Hmmmmm. Somehow I am not surprised. Glad it worked out for you and all. Some people lose friends over it. Tis petty really. I don't care who you love or who you bone just make sure it's healthy for both. (emotionally and physically)
That's what I was worrying about. Losing her as a friend, but I'm glad it didn't happen.
Congratulations, and I'm glad it went so well.
Also that was a smart move using your cell phone since alot of people were around.
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/Occasions-Congratulations-Coming+out+of+the+Closet
Oh hey I just found out there's, "coming out of the closet" cards.




also inb4 impending shitfest
*holds up shield* I'm ready.
 

Mr. Brightside

Mr. Perma-absent
Re: Rave: Larry Finally Comes Out

Well, you've passed me on the manhood scale. By far. And I thought you said there was no-one quiet enough for you to come out to... Well... Congrats, man!
 
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