There's a different between 'freaking out' because something is new / scary and going all "no son of mine is a faggot, leave this house".
Only known medicine for the former is to let them endure the truth.
Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)
- Thread starter Surgat
- Start date
Only known medicine for the former is to let them endure the truth.
Dubbleyew
Godless hippie queermo
hoooo boy
There was quite a long time I identified as bisexual, I think since I was around 16 or so. I've more recently started identifying as pansexual because I feel that fits what I actually am a bit better.
Because, nowadays, when I start to develop a crush on somebody, it's their level of understanding and intelligence that causes it to happen, and I simply just don't take their sex or gender identity into account. I also could fall for someone who fell outside the gender binary (genderqueer/genderfluid people, etc) as well since again, gender just isn't one of the things that clicks for me when I start to like someone. I just don't care what your biology is or what you identify as. If I like you then I like you, simple as that.
I told my parents I'm bi because I doubt they'd understand what pansexuality is, nor take me seriously if I explained it to them. It was just easier to tell them I'm bi. They…don’t seem to care? I don't know, they never really like to talk about it. But when I talk about LGBT rights, my mom is always asking me "ARE YOU GAY?" even though I already told her my sexuality before. It gets a little annoying. I'm grateful, though, that my parents don’t seem to be as homophobic as they once were. I think me being so into LGBT rights has softened them up a little, as well as them meeting the lesbian couple who have a child that is friends with my aunt. When it comes to the more radical homophobes, you can’t usually change their minds no matter what you do, but people who are more on the fence sometimes just need to see an LGBT headed family or know a gay person and they’ll start lending support.
People can surprise you.
I -think- my parents know I'm an atheist too, I think that bothers them more than my sexuality does. At the very least, they know I'm not a fan of religious stuff.
I later on in life came to the realization that I'm transgender or at least genderfluid, which was a lot harder for me to admit to myself than being pansexual. I actually started crying a bit when I realized it (don't tell anyone >.>) and while I'm openly pansexual in all aspects of life, I have yet to identify as male the majority of the time outside of the internet. It's just something I'm not sure most of my family will understand, so I'm quite apprehensive about it. If I do come out as trans/genderfluid IRL, it will be long after I've moved out of this house so I can live my life identifying however I please. It helps that I had a breast reduction surgery, maybe someday I can experiment with binding or something.
I know it sounds hypocritical because I just said above that people can surprise you. But being trans is often regarded worse in society than being gay/bi/pan is, so I really don't know yet. Maybe I'll tell them someday, but not yet.
For now, though, the internet provides a good outlet for letting me identify as primarily male. Second life is especially useful for this. I love it. My gender identity not matching my biological sex is the reason I tend to avoid using voice chat on skype or on games unless I'm comfortable with the people hearing it (or to free up my hands when gaming)
Welp I think that's pretty much it.
There was quite a long time I identified as bisexual, I think since I was around 16 or so. I've more recently started identifying as pansexual because I feel that fits what I actually am a bit better.
Because, nowadays, when I start to develop a crush on somebody, it's their level of understanding and intelligence that causes it to happen, and I simply just don't take their sex or gender identity into account. I also could fall for someone who fell outside the gender binary (genderqueer/genderfluid people, etc) as well since again, gender just isn't one of the things that clicks for me when I start to like someone. I just don't care what your biology is or what you identify as. If I like you then I like you, simple as that.
I told my parents I'm bi because I doubt they'd understand what pansexuality is, nor take me seriously if I explained it to them. It was just easier to tell them I'm bi. They…don’t seem to care? I don't know, they never really like to talk about it. But when I talk about LGBT rights, my mom is always asking me "ARE YOU GAY?" even though I already told her my sexuality before. It gets a little annoying. I'm grateful, though, that my parents don’t seem to be as homophobic as they once were. I think me being so into LGBT rights has softened them up a little, as well as them meeting the lesbian couple who have a child that is friends with my aunt. When it comes to the more radical homophobes, you can’t usually change their minds no matter what you do, but people who are more on the fence sometimes just need to see an LGBT headed family or know a gay person and they’ll start lending support.
People can surprise you.
I -think- my parents know I'm an atheist too, I think that bothers them more than my sexuality does. At the very least, they know I'm not a fan of religious stuff.
I later on in life came to the realization that I'm transgender or at least genderfluid, which was a lot harder for me to admit to myself than being pansexual. I actually started crying a bit when I realized it (don't tell anyone >.>) and while I'm openly pansexual in all aspects of life, I have yet to identify as male the majority of the time outside of the internet. It's just something I'm not sure most of my family will understand, so I'm quite apprehensive about it. If I do come out as trans/genderfluid IRL, it will be long after I've moved out of this house so I can live my life identifying however I please. It helps that I had a breast reduction surgery, maybe someday I can experiment with binding or something.
I know it sounds hypocritical because I just said above that people can surprise you. But being trans is often regarded worse in society than being gay/bi/pan is, so I really don't know yet. Maybe I'll tell them someday, but not yet.
For now, though, the internet provides a good outlet for letting me identify as primarily male. Second life is especially useful for this. I love it. My gender identity not matching my biological sex is the reason I tend to avoid using voice chat on skype or on games unless I'm comfortable with the people hearing it (or to free up my hands when gaming)
Welp I think that's pretty much it.
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Antonin Scalia
Another Great Post
This thread is kinda depressing. When I came out it was pretty awkward with the parents, but they said "eh, that's cool," and moved on. Even at school people were relatively unfazed by it, something I found to be a little weird (live in Missouri so go figure). My high school had a GSA club so had a pretty sweet deal going, even though neither of the people I went out with were in it. I've heard horror stories though.
Obtuse tail
The King of Carrot Flowers
I remember, when my grandmother was taking me and my uncle to school, (my uncle is adopted and 2 years older than me) they were discussing whether the guy crossing the street in front of them was gay or not based on the way he walks.
My dad and i knows it's not a choice, but she thinks it is.
oh, baptists...
On the other hand, my whole family is Mormon, and i haven't seen a single Mormon against homosexuality...
My dad and i knows it's not a choice, but she thinks it is.
oh, baptists...
On the other hand, my whole family is Mormon, and i haven't seen a single Mormon against homosexuality...
Kranda
I'm going in for the kill.
My parents would probably tell me that i'm just going through a phase if I told them about being bisexual. It's lucky for me that my best friend happens to be gay. He's like the most proactive person too. Our school has never had any type of LGBT anything, period. All by himself he petitioned the principal and gathered teachers to help coordinate a GSA and this coming school year he's going to be in charge of it.
Stawks
Member
I'm so sick of Gay Straight Alliances.
I say we round up all the straights, make them dance for our amusement, hear the lamentations of their women! etc
viva la vida loca yknow
Sundown
New Member
My mom found out because she's a nosy b***ch and she was cyber-stalking me. Of course, she assumed I was a lesbian (at the time I identified as Bi) and proceeded with the usual crap. Thankfully after trying to scare the crud out of me she pretty much decided that she didn't take me seriously.
Ironically, these days I identify as biromantic, so technically I won't be breaking any of her precious religious laws because I won't be 'lying' with anybody. XD
Ironically, these days I identify as biromantic, so technically I won't be breaking any of her precious religious laws because I won't be 'lying' with anybody. XD
AmaterasuDen
Ohai thar ;3
God, here we go.
Since i was 12 years old i felt attracted to either girls or boys, but i didn't dare to tell anyone about this, so i kept my mouth shut, years passed by and i felt so shitty about not telling anyone.
When i turned 15 i couldn't handle it anymore, i had to tell someone, so i got to my best friend, and told him i was bisexual, he said it was no problem and seconds later we were.... kissing.
We didn't talk to each other for like 2 months because we were embarrassed about the kiss, but its time for me to stand up and face it.
I'm 17 right now, and i will be turning 18 on the 14th of august, i am going to tell my parents about my bisexuality on my birthday, i hope it goes alright, and that they will understand.
I am Bisexual, here, i said it!
Since i was 12 years old i felt attracted to either girls or boys, but i didn't dare to tell anyone about this, so i kept my mouth shut, years passed by and i felt so shitty about not telling anyone.
When i turned 15 i couldn't handle it anymore, i had to tell someone, so i got to my best friend, and told him i was bisexual, he said it was no problem and seconds later we were.... kissing.
We didn't talk to each other for like 2 months because we were embarrassed about the kiss, but its time for me to stand up and face it.
I'm 17 right now, and i will be turning 18 on the 14th of august, i am going to tell my parents about my bisexuality on my birthday, i hope it goes alright, and that they will understand.
I am Bisexual, here, i said it!
L
Larry
Guest
My god, this is the cutest thing I've heard today~
AmaterasuDen
Ohai thar ;3
Just so its clear, he was the one who started. 
Not that i cared. x3
But recently there have been some shitty activity here at home, so i really don't think i should tell them already, or do you guys got any tips how to tell them? (them = dad/bro/friends)
Not that i cared. x3But recently there have been some shitty activity here at home, so i really don't think i should tell them already, or do you guys got any tips how to tell them? (them = dad/bro/friends)
Stawks
Member
Just so its clear, he was the one who started.
But recently there have been some shitty activity here at home, so i really don't think i should tell them already, or do you guys got any tips how to tell them? (them = dad/bro/friends)
Well, depends, really... How shitty? While coming out is an important thing and y'know, brave and all that, it can also be kinda stupid. If you're going to get kicked out, or have a significantly strained relationship with your parents because of it, it's probably best to keep it a secret for now. Unless you're moving out soon? Once you move out, fuck em.
Anyway if you do want to get out with it my advice is to just be casual about it. The whole bit where you sit down and have a serious conversation about it is very played out. It's the 21st century, it's their job to understand your lifestyle, not your job to explain it. Just go out and be your own dude and if you come back home with a boy one day, they'll deal with it.
AmaterasuDen
Ohai thar ;3
The shitty situations have been cleared up faster than i aspected x3
To be clear, i still only got my dad, don't really wanna talk about my mom.
Sadly enough my bro is a homophobic, he REALLY hates on them, so I am pretty scared for him.
My dad always said, i will love you no mater what, so i don't think he will kick me out or something.
So my plan was telling my dad first, and than my dad tells my bro so that he can protect me against him.
But i just have to get the balls to do that, hehe x3
To be clear, i still only got my dad, don't really wanna talk about my mom.
Sadly enough my bro is a homophobic, he REALLY hates on them, so I am pretty scared for him.
My dad always said, i will love you no mater what, so i don't think he will kick me out or something.
So my plan was telling my dad first, and than my dad tells my bro so that he can protect me against him.
But i just have to get the balls to do that, hehe x3
Stawks
Member
Haha well that's good. If you feel safe doing it than you should. :3
You can also tell him not to tell your brother, I'm sure he'll understand that.
iTails
Certified Asshole
The best place to do this is in a public area so that they won't kick the shit out of you without having CPS called on them.
Darkwing
Member
I fucked up big time. I dunno if my life is going to hell now because I just dropped the fucking bomb.
Well anyways, my boyfriend wanted me to come out to my friend on chat. Me and him were playfully hinting at him of our relationship, and at the end of the night, before I left my boyfriend brought me back onto chat, and told me to explain our relationship to him because he was curious about us.
I told him straightforward, "Me and him and boyfriend/boyfriend" nothing else. He then went off, saying "You're a bunch of wierdos/sickos" "I can't talk to you right now" "I feel uncomfortable around you guys now" and then he logged off on us.
FUNNY FUCKING THING IS, this is the same friend, who, a few months ago I came out to and he said he and his parents were perfectly fine with gays.
Guys, did I fuck up? What do I do? I'm scared.
Well anyways, my boyfriend wanted me to come out to my friend on chat. Me and him were playfully hinting at him of our relationship, and at the end of the night, before I left my boyfriend brought me back onto chat, and told me to explain our relationship to him because he was curious about us.
I told him straightforward, "Me and him and boyfriend/boyfriend" nothing else. He then went off, saying "You're a bunch of wierdos/sickos" "I can't talk to you right now" "I feel uncomfortable around you guys now" and then he logged off on us.
FUNNY FUCKING THING IS, this is the same friend, who, a few months ago I came out to and he said he and his parents were perfectly fine with gays.
Guys, did I fuck up? What do I do? I'm scared.
Maybe he's jealous because he couldn't get you. :]
Wait until he gets used to the idea.
Darkwing
Member
That's what me and my boyfriend thought. Because I SWEAR he tried hitting on my boyfriend a couple times >.> I didn't listen to his response to me telling him on voice chat because I was so scared I didn't want to hear his response, but he sounded kinda pissed from what I've heard. Maybe he WAS jealous <
Anyways I sent him a message on facebook to clear things up a bit, and I might make an attempt later tomorrow to talk to him about it.
Milo
New Member
dude, even I'M not that bad, and I'm an angsty lonely fuck who envy's all life who has someone to love. :U
Darkwing
Member
Well, I still don't know if he was <:I
He asked me though why I thought he was gay... I thought he was but I only told my boyfriend, unless I slipped something on voice chat I dunno.
Lobar
The hell am I reading, here?
Prop 8 likely only passed because of Mormons. They ramped up tithing so they could spend about $20 million on campaigning for it, plus they sent busloads of volunteers from Utah down to California to help out.(All blatantly unconstitutional, by the way, but no one dared to intervene)
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Alex-L
New Member
After 7 rather turbulent years in my life, I finally learned to accept myself last month. Came out to my friends on facebook, my parents on the phone, and my brother in person. Gotta say, I honestly expected him to beat the crap out of me. He's been very verbal on the subject in the past. Seeing the expression on his face was totally worth it though. They were all able to accept that I was gay right off the bat, so...yeah. Everything went better than expected.
Used to pretend I was the "If they ask, I'll tell them" type...but I'd just end up lying straight to their face. Didn't wanna make a big deal out of it, but I had to get it off my chest.
Used to pretend I was the "If they ask, I'll tell them" type...but I'd just end up lying straight to their face. Didn't wanna make a big deal out of it, but I had to get it off my chest.
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