Coming Out: The Thread (Continued)
- Thread starter Surgat
- Start date
Flarei
Flarei Le Loup
My spelling is horrid, I know, no need to point it out. And no, around here a cult is something centered around yourself. We are a relegion. A very leanient one at that. Pretty much it is a code of laws that explains the freedoms and rights of all Fauna.
Lucifer_Regal
New Member
Is "coming out" really such a big deal in America?
I live in Wales and I and several friends "came out" as gay/bi at 14. Some parents got slightly freaked out but bullying seems to be more rare here. Only one person I know has been bullied for their sexuality :S
I live in Wales and I and several friends "came out" as gay/bi at 14. Some parents got slightly freaked out but bullying seems to be more rare here. Only one person I know has been bullied for their sexuality :S
Scotty1700
is bored :V
If you're in the south, coming out is huge cause you have the risk of getting fucking murdered by crazy bible-toting rednecks. If you're anywhere else in the US you'll just get ridiculed and harassed :v Thus it's easier to just not tell anyone.
*Probably not right at all but in all honesty it's not taken as lightly as other places.
L
Larry
Guest
Basically, coming out to deep-rooted Tennessean parents is suicide. Just write a note before you tell them while you're at it?
Lucifer_Regal
New Member
Jeez. I can't even imagine what that's like. I guess I'm lucky?
Slightly extremely off topic, but what do you do for TV out there? I'd be hard pressed to name ONE British TV presenter who isn't gay or at least camp :/
Bill O'Reilly.
Darkwing
Member
I don't think coming out is THAT bad in the south <=S Probably in the deep rural areas that are full of crazies lol.
Darkwing
Member
Haha, yeah I'd imagine.
I'm still in the closet and I have a boyfriend. GAAAAH, coming out is gonna be a BITCH X.X Especially since they are probably gonna find out themselves before I even tell them.
I think my parents are a tad homophobic, too <=I
Saiko
GTWT Survivor
Well after reading all 130 pages of this thread I guess it's only fair that I at least try to contribute to the discussion. First, though, I have to thank Discord Nova for linking this on page 76. Honestly, that article was actually an answer to a prayer of mine that I've been looking out for for a while, now. For years I've noticed that there really is no argument against homosexuality even though the Bible supposedly condemns it. I wondered if perhaps it was a misinterpretation or even an incorrect translation, and that article actually pointed out AND defended both of these possibilities well.
I myself am bi, and looking back I can see that developing somewhere around when I was 13 or so. However, I didn't really think about my orientation (or relationships in general for that matter) until early May this year (I was 16 then, 17 now). I finally concluded that I am bi a little more than a month ago when I noticed that a longstanding "straight" online friend and I had developed feelings for each other. That was also the time we became long-distance boyfriends. ^_^
After reading this thread, I've decided to come out my closest friend, Allen, when I find an appropriate time. I know he won't mind because I won't be the first bi friend he knows. We actually kinda idolize the other bi guy we know. It doesn't have much to do with him being bi, but the fact that he is known to be bi and is still considered awesome around us is important. There's also the fact that Allen once told me that he suspects our other friend of being bi and hasn't treated him any differently. You may wonder why I feel the need to tell him. My reason is that is the fact that my friends are some of the gayest straight(?) guys I know, and I feel guilty every time they "no-homo" something when I myself am in a gay relationship. They are comfortable with the "gayness" because they're all comfortable in the knowledge that we're all straight, which they don't realize is not entirely true...
However, despite having a boyfriend (which many bi's here have stated as a criteria for coming out to their parents), I am NOT coming out to mine anytime soon. I live smack in the middle of Mississippi, and my parents are both from a small rural town in Louisiana. Just driving to school, I pass by at least seven churches (I probably forgot a couple, so there may be more). In the car, my mom has already told me that she'd kill me if I was gay. I know she was strongly exaggerating (which she does a lot), and it's very unlikely she'd throw me out; but I still get the message. She would NOT approve at all, and I doubt I'd be able to change her mind. The scary thing is that I'm more comfortable telling my mom... I'm more afraid of what my dad would do considering he has never voiced much of an opinion on the matter. You may think this means he may not care, but his dad (my grandfather) regularly rants about LGBT's and how they're some kind of abomination. I don't think my dad feels quite that strongly about the matter, but I don't think the apple fell too far from the tree.
At the very least, I'm not going to come out to my parents until I am entirely independent of them. Thankfully, though, this will be easier for me than others, because I qualify for a LOT of scholarship money. I may actually be paid just to attend, which means I don't rely on parents for my education or future. At the moment, though, it's not worth the risk even though I'd have several places to go if I did get kicked out.
Hehe, sorry about the wall. Despite my attempts to summarize, this still ended up being longer than I intended. xD
I myself am bi, and looking back I can see that developing somewhere around when I was 13 or so. However, I didn't really think about my orientation (or relationships in general for that matter) until early May this year (I was 16 then, 17 now). I finally concluded that I am bi a little more than a month ago when I noticed that a longstanding "straight" online friend and I had developed feelings for each other. That was also the time we became long-distance boyfriends. ^_^
After reading this thread, I've decided to come out my closest friend, Allen, when I find an appropriate time. I know he won't mind because I won't be the first bi friend he knows. We actually kinda idolize the other bi guy we know. It doesn't have much to do with him being bi, but the fact that he is known to be bi and is still considered awesome around us is important. There's also the fact that Allen once told me that he suspects our other friend of being bi and hasn't treated him any differently. You may wonder why I feel the need to tell him. My reason is that is the fact that my friends are some of the gayest straight(?) guys I know, and I feel guilty every time they "no-homo" something when I myself am in a gay relationship. They are comfortable with the "gayness" because they're all comfortable in the knowledge that we're all straight, which they don't realize is not entirely true...
However, despite having a boyfriend (which many bi's here have stated as a criteria for coming out to their parents), I am NOT coming out to mine anytime soon. I live smack in the middle of Mississippi, and my parents are both from a small rural town in Louisiana. Just driving to school, I pass by at least seven churches (I probably forgot a couple, so there may be more). In the car, my mom has already told me that she'd kill me if I was gay. I know she was strongly exaggerating (which she does a lot), and it's very unlikely she'd throw me out; but I still get the message. She would NOT approve at all, and I doubt I'd be able to change her mind. The scary thing is that I'm more comfortable telling my mom... I'm more afraid of what my dad would do considering he has never voiced much of an opinion on the matter. You may think this means he may not care, but his dad (my grandfather) regularly rants about LGBT's and how they're some kind of abomination. I don't think my dad feels quite that strongly about the matter, but I don't think the apple fell too far from the tree.
At the very least, I'm not going to come out to my parents until I am entirely independent of them. Thankfully, though, this will be easier for me than others, because I qualify for a LOT of scholarship money. I may actually be paid just to attend, which means I don't rely on parents for my education or future. At the moment, though, it's not worth the risk even though I'd have several places to go if I did get kicked out.
Hehe, sorry about the wall. Despite my attempts to summarize, this still ended up being longer than I intended. xD
Schwimmwagen
Well-Known Member
I'm starting to think I should finally do it sooner or later...
Aetius
It's Me Gordon, Barney from Black Mesa
Same here, each time I decide that I should I just get scared and not do anything.
Schwimmwagen
Well-Known Member
Yeah, man. On my birthday, my parents were actually talking about the idea of it and how they'd still love me anyway, despite the amount of anti-gay jokes they make. It's really hard to decide if they're actually being honest there or they're just saying it so I instead believe that they're better parents than I think they are, and it doesn't matter because I'm not gay after all. RIGHT? Bleigh.
Aetius
It's Me Gordon, Barney from Black Mesa
Ugh that's a tough one, my parents wouldn't really bring up that idea, they would just be very confrontational about it and ask me if I was D:.
I think I might as well just play it safe and maybe tell them after I graduate and land myself with a stable job.
Saiko
GTWT Survivor
No offense, but it kinda sounds like you're being a little bit paranoid to me. :/
That'd be a horrible thing for parents to do, luring you out specifically for the purpose of stabbing you in the back. That doesn't sound like something they'd do to you, does it? I personally can't imagine anyone's parents, no matter how homophobic, being THAT cruel; but you know your own parents better than I do. >.>
Parents are born to be cruel. Homophobic or not.
kyle19
Panzerjäger
Basically this, Ive decided on telling my mother, but mixed signals and getting scared seem to prevent me from doing so.
greg-the-fox
Well-Known Member
All British people sound somewhat gay to us Americans :V
Spatel
Well-Known Member
whatever you say mr hands
Eh, I think all celebrities act a bit more flamboyant, on our side of the pond as well. I don't think Brits sound any gayer than Americans. Now the french sound very gay though. I'm not saying this as a stereotypical gun-toting frenchy-hating redneck American. I have endless respect for the french. I like their politics, and I think they're pretty cool, especially when they riot. I also love house. But I can't help it... the language... it really does use a lot of intonations that are considered flamboyant when an english-speaker uses them.greg-the-fox said:
They really can't help it. Conversely, German is an incredibly asexual language, and Russian, Italian, and Portuguese are just sexy languages in general.
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Lucifer_Regal
New Member
All British people ARE somewhat gay compared to Americans :L
Schwimmwagen
Well-Known Member
Knowing them, they're very likely to do so. See, my parents pretty much just try to buy my affections rather than act like they really do give a shit about me. In the case of gayness, my parents are very, very certain that I'm straight, at least they act like it, so knowing them, they're just saying that they'd "love" me still if I was gay, but they're so comfortable in the knowledge that I'm not, so while I get that short-term little boost in faith, it won't bite them in the ass later on because I won't be coming out. Hell, they're cracking homophobic jokes and making homophobic statements all the time. What does that tell you?
More like homophobia isn't as widespread and fierce like in the US. That's what all the anti-gay horror stories from the US tell me, anyway.