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Confessions thread

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Pingouin7

Member
Asked the guy I love if I could join him in Terraria, since he was playing and I wanted to voice chat.
I really want to voice chat with him.
He only speaks English. English isn't my main language, I barely ever use it in real life when talking. I use it all the fucking time online, chatting with people or whatever.

But the idea of speaking in English to people via voice chat terrifies me. He seemed like he was looking forward to hearing my voice and I wasn't even able to do that. I told him that I was really nervous about actually voice chatting so he said I could at least turn on voice chat so I could hear him and that I didn't have to talk. I wanted to talk, but I just couldn't. I would just freeze there and say nothing. Didn't say a word the entire time.

I told him before we started up voice chat that I would be much less spontaneous/outgoing in voice than I am via text, so at least I guess I warned him beforehand. But I don't think he expected it to be this bad.

He really seemed to look forward to hearing my voice, too. I feel like I disappointed him because I wasn't even able to give him that.
I worry that he would be disappointed by what I am like in real life. Can't even say a word to him while talking via voice. Seems really excited to be able to hear my voice and I can't even give him that. I want to say something, but then I worry that he would expect more and I would have a hard time keeping up a basic conversation.
I got to hear his voice (<3) and I couldn't even let him hear mine.
Where am I supposed to get the confidence and the self-esteem I need to be able to perform what should be a simple task?
I hate myself sometimes. I tell him that we would be voice chatting, he gets excited that he'll get to hear my voice, then I do a 180 and refuse to say a word. What a disappointment.
Hopefully you guys are able to give some advice. I have no idea if this post made sense or if I pointlessly repeated myself in places as I'm typing this from my phone with the tiny input box that I can't even resize, but whatever, it's 5 am, I feel like crap, I needed to vent and I'll be trying to get to sleep now.
 
Butters Shikkon

Butters Shikkon

Patron Saint of Queers
What you do is you say a phrase and then type the translation. He will feel that you are attempting to be intimate (not in a sexual way though lol) and it will give you the confidence to speak more later.

You don't have to do it for too long. I had a fling with a guy who mostly spoke Portuguese once...it was getting kinda serious and we used to leave each other little voice messages. It was cute although...he really couldn't speak English that well. ^^; I found it endearing though. If we had gotten serious, I would've attempted to learn his language. Never hurts to try.

So yeah. Baby steps, Ping.
 
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Ariosto

New Member
I have to confess I'm very glad yesterday was a slow night for these boards. From now on, I should start getting accustomed to 'missing the good stuff', though... yeah, these boards are fun, but classes are starting soon enough, and I must fight the battle against improductivity. Have been doing that for 4 years already...
 
Kinharia

Kinharia

Drunken Irish Snow Leopard
I confess that I love reading up on political developments around the world more than the local developments. I predicted the date Hosni Mubarak would step down, thats how closely I followed the events in Egypt during the Arab Spring...
 
Luki

Luki

Member
Pingouin7 said:
Asked the guy I love if I could join him in Terraria, since he was playing and I wanted to voice chat.
I really want to voice chat with him.
He only speaks English. English isn't my main language, I barely ever use it in real life when talking. I use it all the fucking time online, chatting with people or whatever.

.
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I know exactly how you feel! I'm also pretty nervous about talking to native speakers via voice chat. I'm afraid I'll sound funny,unintelligible or something
Do you know another non-native speaker you could practice voice chatting in English with? It should take some of the pressure off since you'd be both treading the same ground.
You could also try speaking to yourself out loud, as though you're carrying a conversation with him...Just do it in the bath or something so people won't think you've lost your marbles ~
 
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Pingouin7

Member
I don't think I can do the speaking to myself thing. Even if nobody else is there to hear me I feel like an idiot doing it. Just testing mic sensitivity by saying a random word made me uncomfortable.
 
Feste

Feste

I haven't found an answer yet
I keep getting chest pains and shortness of breath. I can't tell if I'm getting mini panic attack things, or if it's something serious. It's not like continuous, it just sometimes happens in when I wake up or when I'm chilling late at night...
 
Feste

Feste

I haven't found an answer yet
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Kleric

Member
Pingouin7 said:
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I've been in a fairly similar situation... When I got the chance to voice chat with someone I personally care for, It was nerve-racking as hell for both of us. I mean we were at least able to say a few things, but It was hard to keep anything consistent... lots of awkward silences, and then the 1st voice-chat ended. But since this was one of the few moment's we'd be able to voice-chat, we persisted that we should do our best to take advantage of it. And somehow we came up with the idea that for our 2nd chat... that we should sing to each-other... and we did... and it really really helped for some reason. I guess it was because while at first we didn't know what to say to eachother, we knew the lyrics to the songs, and somehow just doing that made it a lot less nerve-racking. After we both sang, the conversation flowed out very nicely. :eek:

Now I'm not sure if this helps you, because deciding to sing to someone who hasn't even heard your voice to you would probably sound like the worst idea ever... but it's an idea.
 
FenrirDarkWolf

FenrirDarkWolf

Trapped in a Lucid Eclipse
Pingouin7 said:
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I had a boyfriend that was quite like you.
Very shy when speaking English, but very fun when he did.
I'm sure you'll be the same c:
 
Gator

Gator

Uncledaddy
Mikazuki Marazhu said:
Masterbating helps.

It always makes me sleepy afterwards
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unfortunately this was not one of those "just not tired yet" nights; i didn't even try to go to bed. because i had been staying up late and sleeping late and i needed to fix that, so the only way to do it is jerking off sleeping less so i'll be tired long before bedtime
at least that was my dumb plan

probably shoulda just stuck with yours BUT HEY I CAN DO THIS
I WILL MAKE SLEEP MY BITCH
 
Naesaki

Naesaki

JRPG Fanatic
Pingouin7 said:
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My situation is a bit different as me and my bf are both native english speakers but for me my problem is I have a bit of a stutter and am easily tongue tied, I was absolutely terrified to speak to him over skype or other forms of voice chat for the first time, I was also extremely nervous at whether my accent would put him off.

I know it sounds like self-deprecation but I don't think much of my accent, I think it sounds really common and makes me come across as really thick, though I've had a lot of people in the past put me down for how I speak, apparently I try too hard to be "to be smart and talk properly" when that is just how I speak naturally, this ended up resulting in me developing a stutter (slowly overcoming it though these days.)

But yeah the first moments of my first call with him, he spoke first in his very lovely northern irish accent <3, I said hi and how are you, very meekly and shyly, things were quiet at first and I was like "come on brain, forms some words!" eventually he asks me a few questions you know, to break the ice, I finally decide to look at him properly and realise he's not ran off disgusted at hearing my voice and he compliments my accent and was very happy to hear me talking to him, the instant confidence boost this gave me was immeasurable.

4 months on now, Its now got to the point that in calls I tend to be even chattier than him xD

Once you get over that initial hurdle you look back and think to yourself "What was I even worried about?" but that initial hurdle is always the most difficult to overcome, especially when its with someone you care so deeply for.

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Mikazuki Marazhu said:
Masterbating helps.
Click to expand...
Mikazuki Marazhu said:
It always makes me sleepy afterwards
Click to expand...

I always used to find it weird at how well this really works and then I go d'oh and realise you are expending all the excess energy you have and making yourself tired and more relaxed, I generally tend to have a very peaceful sleep after such activities :3
 
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Ariosto

New Member
I confess I feel like I've genuinely improved in my reading discipline during these vacations: writing, taking notes, reading further criticism to contrast impressions, summarizing things, choosing the right words, making place for those uneasy feelings that make for more nuanced readings, I've applied myself to that a lot more lately. In small steps, of course, but I'm definitely doing it.
 
RestlessDreamer

RestlessDreamer

Scary Monster; Super Creep
I confess I take zero pleasure in masturbation anymore. Don't know why, but it's a rare mood where doing it actually brings me a sense of pleasure.

Let me counter that by saying I'm NOT tired of sex, only that I find doing it by myself to be super unrewarding as of late.
 
Gator

Gator

Uncledaddy
RestlessDreamer said:
I confess I take zero pleasure in masturbation anymore. Don't know why, but it's a rare mood where doing it actually brings me a sense of pleasure.

Let me counter that by saying I'm NOT tired of sex, only that I find doing it by myself to be super unrewarding as of late.
Click to expand...

i assume this means you are getting some and the getting is good
 
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