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(Cont'd) Sleeping with the Enemy

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Sweetheartz22

Simply amazing.
Hello, all! Since I had such a large number of responses, I decided a follow-up on seeing my hubby would be in order. Some of what I'm about to say, may be a bit disturbing to some! Alright, after I picked up my hubby from Basic Training, I brought him back to the hotel room for some much-needed R&R. After we rested for a little bit, I decided we were on a topic closely related enough to furries to being it up (we were talking about mascots for his college football team). Then, all hell broke loose :( He yelled and threw a hissy fit when I brought up that I was indeed a furry. Fast-forward a few minutes and he suddenly became extremely calm and told me firmly "I don't care....you know what, I really just DO.NOT.CARE.ANYMORE. Let's never talk about that shit, again. Never". Of course, after having a small panic attack, I calmed down and let the whole thing go. Now, this part is going to seem a bit....cruel (I'm using the word one of my dearest, closest furry friend, Moku used). Since we were newlyweds and never really had a honeymoon, let's just say we celebrated. Well, in the midst of said "celebration", my hubby decided upon himself that he was wanting to have kids and didn't even mention his little plan. Mind you, we decided earlier that we would wait for kids and talk about our future plans, so him doing what he did caused some shock. Now, I'm making appointments on seeing a doctor to see if anything can be done. I'm really not ready for kids!!! So, if anyone has any advice about what I need to do next, then speak up!
 

Duality Jack

Feeling Loki with it.
You know what I have to say about this whole thing of course, but I ought to just throw in my support and say it again, the man cares more of himself and the life he wants then your needs and it it going to become trouble.
 

Mikhal18

Best. Custom User Title. Ever.
If you're not ready for it, just go see a doctor and check if you're in fact going to be pregnant. If so, get an abortion (if it's legal around there).
If he's just thinking that bad about himself, then he's a dickhead cunt that should go back to his camp and be shower-raped by his entire company.
 

Seekrit

Member
Get off the internet and get help from people who know what they're talking about. That's about as honest advice anyone can give.
 

Teal

Squirrel
You know, abusers often try to use children as a way of control and to prevent the victim from leaving.
 
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Duality Jack

Feeling Loki with it.
You know, abusers often try to use children as a way of control and to prevent the victim from leaving.
I am very sure this is the case, because from what I understand he fears her leaving him as he is becoming aware he is pushing her away.

I have also grown to think he wants her to be a simple housewife and raise him a good old American family, and his desire for that is stronger then his consideration for her feelings.

I can't really go into detail though.
 

Aleu

Deuces
Ok now that the line is drawn, I would have a serious "talk" with him. It's kind of ridiculous how he baws about furries but...tricks you into having kids.

So what did he do? Steal your bc pills and replace them with fakes?
 

HereKittyKitty

It's all fun and games...
If it's been less than 48 hours after the incident, you can go to the closest pharmacy and purchase a plan B pill, or if you take birth control pills you can take two at once to create the same effect (it's all in the info they staple to the bag).

I'm so sorry this happened to you.
 

Ozriel

Inglorious Bastard
Your husband sounds like an abusive jerk.
 

Fox_720B

Has left FAF, at least for now
As was said above, get the "Morning After Pill". As long as it's been less than 72 hours since the intercourse you still have a chance of it working. It costs about 50 dollars in my area.

I'm really disappointed in your husband. From talking with you before and up until now, he sounds quite insensitive to your interests...and it seems he has a really big problem with things that are outside of his comfort zone. When you love someone you need to trust their judgement enough to try to see things from their point of view. Even on really big differences.

Every relationship counselor will tell you that you need to be able to communicate your feelings in a healthy manner. Most recommend the use of "I" statements such as "I feel this way" rather than "You" statements, which escalate emotions and sound accusatory. You married the guy so obviously he has good qualities...I might ask you though how often he does stuff like this with other, non-furry related things? If this is something he does frequently, I'd say he has a controlling streak in him, which, if you let it go unchecked, will probably eat at you enough that you yourself begin to feel dead inside.

You have to be free to be yourself around the person you're going to spend your life with. It sounds that you have serious communication problems. The fact that he didn't talk to you about raising a family before attempting one tells me that he really sees himself as the decision maker in the relationship. In marriage, you both need to share the decision making.

Be careful though...don't escalate things. You need to communicate. Put your best foot forward and make gentle attempts to talk to him. If he refuses to react in any way other than harshness towards calm attempts at communication, then you guys might need to seek additional help.

Can you talk to someone who knows you and him very well about this? The best judgement will come from someone who knows the both of you, and all of your nuances.
 
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Duality Jack

Feeling Loki with it.
My suggestion is to honestly divorce his ass.
 

Ozriel

Inglorious Bastard
My suggestion is to honestly divorce his ass.

Second this.

You don't want to become trapped in a marriage with someone who will flip out over your hobby.
 

Golden

Member
I know jack shit about relationships, but...

My worthless opinion is that your husband wants nothing less than the "perfect family" and he will stop at nothing to get it as quickly as possible (judging on how he flipped out on you etc.). This includes disregarding how you feel about the matter.

Mokushi said it best.
 

TigerBeacon

Internet Hate Machine
I don't want to turn this into a dramatic thing, but it really sounds to me like you were just raped. Not the fact that he forced himself on you, but the fact he tried to get you pregnant without seeing if you were okay with it. Breaking your earlier plans as well as you trust...all I can tell you is that you need to seriously re-evaluate your relationship with him, because if he's capable of doing this kind of shit to you, who know how this behavior will extend to the rest of your relationship. You'd be better off breaking it now than down the road with a kid in tow.

And pregnancy isn't a 99% confirmation after unprotected sex, but yes, taking a morning after pill (which is sold in most pharmacies) would help. You really won't know if it was a miss until you start developing the symptoms.
 

ChileDog

CheeryKralie on FA
I haven't seen your previous thread(s), so I'm going off this one alone and I'm sorry if I'm off the mark. But him trying to trick you into getting pregnant is really not okay. I don't know if it's straight up illegal or not, but it isn't something he should think is all right to do to you. That's a betrayal of trust and has potential to really mess up your life if you have a baby when you don't want / can't support one.

Seconding everyone who's talked about a) the morning after pill, and b) confronting him about it or getting help from someone you trust. If he thinks it's okay for him to do stuff like that, then he's going to give you a lot of problems. I literally cannot words how not okay it is to try to trick/force someone into not using protection.

As for him freaking out about your being a furry... not sharing a hobby is one thing, but acting like you just confessed to kicking puppies is something else entirely. Unless he has a reaaaally outrageous and unflattering idea of what 'furry' means, I'm kind of seeing that as a warning sign. He just. Doesn't sound like a great guy. I'm sorry.

Sorry this stuff is happening :c I hope it all works out okay.
 
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