(Cont'd) Sleeping with the Enemy

[Ozriel]

If he didn't stop when she told him, and attempted forced impregnation. Legally speaking it was rape. No if ands or buts.

Depending on what state she's in, some courts will not see it that way, even though it is.

 

[Tybis]

I want to sig this part because I like to pretend that it was said in jest

I believe it was said in sarcasm.

 

[PapayaShark]

If he didn't stop when she told him, and attempted forced impregnation. Legally speaking it was rape. No if ands or buts.

And how were we supposed to know If she told him to stop? She didnt really say what had happened. How did we know that he didnt poke holes in a condom or something like that? Which you know is shady as fuck but isnt rape.

 

[Duality Jack]

And how were we supposed to know If she told him to stop? She didnt really say what had happened. How did we know that he didnt poke holes in a condom or something like that? Which you know is shady as fuck but isnt rape.

This is the point where it is no longer my place to say.

 

[TigerBeacon]

And how were we supposed to know If she told him to stop? She didnt really say what had happened. How did we know that he didnt poke holes in a condom or something like that? Which you know is shady as fuck but isnt rape.

Its rape in the sense that despite being told that she was not ready for children (a discussion which he knows and has agreed to put aside), had gone and tried to get her pregnant anyway. It doesn't have to actively involve a show of resistance by the victim to consider it rape as it shows a willingful attempt jeopardize her health through forced insemination.

Even if it can't legally be proven to be rape, its still a very blatant show of forced dominance which really should be addressed before it comes up in other undesirable actions.

 

[Troj]

Even if it can't legally be proven to be rape, its still a very blatant show of forced dominance which really should be addressed before it comes up in other undesirable actions.

Precisely, exactly, bingo.

Legalities aside, philosophically, it's rape in my book, because it's driven by the same basic attitude of, "I have a fundamental right to this person's body," and "This person's boundaries are unworthy of respect."

And, people tend to start small and escalate, when it comes to these things. They test whether you'll tolerate or overlook the little trespasses, before attempting slightly-bigger ones--and then bigger ones, and then...

Basically, if wife-beaters smacked the woman on the first date for ordering the Chablis instead of the Pinot Grigio, there wouldn't be a second date.

It's like boiling a frog.

 

[Aleu]

I like how most of the OP's posts were mainly flirting with Mokushi and response to said flirting.

 

[Sweetheartz22]

I like how most of the OP's posts were mainly flirting with Mokushi and response to said flirting.

Question still stands: Where in the posts did I flirt with Moku? All I did was state that I would run away to Canada if given a chance. It's in the assumption that if anything goes too awry, I would rather pack my bags, get out of the States entirely, and get as far away from my future ex-husband. I say future because I cannot do anything at this time given the situation I am in. But, it's becoming clearer on what actions I must take to protect what shred of dignity I have left.

 

[Troj]

I like how most of the OP's posts were mainly flirting with Mokushi and response to said flirting.

And that's a whole kettle of fish unto itself.

It just serves to confirm my curmudgeonly view that most people under 30 are not ready to get married, nor have children. Certainly, it's a rare person under 25 who can really make either or both work.

 

[Aleu]

Question still stands: Where in the posts did I flirt with Moku? All I did was state that I would run away to Canada if given a chance. It's in the assumption that if anything goes too awry, I would rather pack my bags, get out of the States entirely, and get as far away from my future ex-husband. I say future because I cannot do anything at this time given the situation I am in. But, it's becoming clearer on what actions I must take to protect what shred of dignity I have left.

Borderline: page two
Obvious: page three

 

[Ozriel]

Question still stands: Where in the posts did I flirt with Moku? All I did was state that I would run away to Canada if given a chance. It's in the assumption that if anything goes too awry, I would rather pack my bags, get out of the States entirely, and get as far away from my future ex-husband. I say future because I cannot do anything at this time given the situation I am in. But, it's becoming clearer on what actions I must take to protect what shred of dignity I have left.

You do not have any relatives to camp with at all?

If not, then take the proper precaution and get some birth control he cannot tamper or know about (unless he finds the paperwork).

 

[Fallowfox]

Precisely, exactly, bingo.

Legalities aside, philosophically, it's rape in my book, because it's driven by the same basic attitude of, "I have a fundamental right to this person's body," and "This person's boundaries are unworthy of respect."

And, people tend to start small and escalate, when it comes to these things. They test whether you'll tolerate or overlook the little trespasses, before attempting slightly-bigger ones--and then bigger ones, and then...

Basically, if wife-beaters smacked the woman on the first date for ordering the Chablis instead of the Pinot Grigio, there wouldn't be a second date.

It's like boiling a frog.

On this subject bringing a frog to boil slowly doesn't persuade it to sit in the pot and die. The frogs in the original experiment had part of their nervous system removed. Normal frogs jump out because they feel too hot, just like humans take off their sweaters when it gets too hot in the day, eventhough the sun rises slowly.

On the topic, if you do want to divorce your husband bringing up the fact he did this will perhaps be instrumental in any legal proceedings. Even if you don't plan to divorce him you should talk to the police immediately about someone trying to trick you into pregnancy- before a backstory and alabi can be invented.

 

[Fox_720B]

Question still stands: Where in the posts did I flirt with Moku? All I did was state that I would run away to Canada if given a chance. It's in the assumption that if anything goes too awry, I would rather pack my bags, get out of the States entirely, and get as far away from my future ex-husband. I say future because I cannot do anything at this time given the situation I am in. But, it's becoming clearer on what actions I must take to protect what shred of dignity I have left.

I think Aleu is just pointing out that it came across as if there was going to be an immediate jump to another man before the marriage actually ends...which compounds the complications.

 

[Duality Jack]

I think Aleu is just pointing out that it came across as if there was going to be an immediate jump to another man before the marriage actually ends...which compounds the complications.

I was the one who made her realize what he was doing was abuse...

But yes complications may exist, and those have been discussed very much in depth, and even if something does not work out in the long run it will still be better than her staying with an abusive man.

On the topic, if you do want to divorce your husband bringing up the fact he did this will perhaps be instrumental in any legal proceedings. Even if you don't plan to divorce him you should talk to the police immediately about someone trying to trick you into pregnancy- before a backstory and alabi can be invented.

That is a very good point.

 

[Troj]

On this subject bringing a frog to boil slowly doesn't persuade it to sit in the pot and die. The frogs in the original experiment had part of their nervous system removed. Normal frogs jump out because they feel too hot, just like humans take off their sweaters when it gets too hot in the day, eventhough the sun rises slowly.

Correct . I just thought I'd use a familiar metaphor, but yeah, frogs would not have lasted millions of years as an order if they'd had this glaring a glitch.

 

[DevistatedDrone]

Are you fucking kidding me?

No, of course not. This is the internet, and everything I say is completely sincere and genuine, no matter how blatantly retarded or offensive the statements may be.
:V




In all seriousness....

And, people tend to start small and escalate, when it comes to these things. They test whether you'll tolerate or overlook the little trespasses, before attempting slightly-bigger ones--and then bigger ones, and then...

Basically, if wife-beaters smacked the woman on the first date for ordering the Chablis instead of the Pinot Grigio, there wouldn't be a second date.

This.
Unless something is done, then it's just going to get far worse at a crawling pace.
Also,

On the topic, if you do want to divorce your husband bringing up the fact he did this will perhaps be instrumental in any legal proceedings. Even if you don't plan to divorce him you should talk to the police immediately about someone trying to trick you into pregnancy- before a backstory and alabi can be invented.

This as well.
What's needed is solid evidence. As much as possible, as fast as possible. Medical records and police reports (though, I personally wont go for the police, but that's cause I'm a punk. Don't be a punk.) plus what ever else you can get.


Another option, which is pretty sketchy, is to turn this against him. Come clean to people and spread what happened to a close knit, but express how you want to fix this. This is to get support from other people you know and to gain some leverage. Then confront him, let him know that people know (you can make them anonymous, but just make them real people) and that he wont be able to get away with any other shit, for you have people willing to jump to your aid the moment he begins to step out of line again.

I might not be doing a good job at correctly expressing what you should do, so put simply;
Get yourself into a position that if he were to get mad or violent, you will be able to say "You try anything, and you're fucked."




But my real suggestion is to just bail out.

 

[Zabrina]

If you aren't ready for children, do not let him force you into it. Period.


Yikes, if he was that upset about bringing up mascots, perhaps it would be for the best to keep furry talk to a minimum, if you want to keep the relationship in tact.

 

[Troj]

The trollish side of me says, "Invite over a massive faggle of fursuiters, and encourage them to all frolic and cuddle with him."



(Seriously, don't. Nobody should suit around this schmuck unless they're wearing kevlar, a motorcycle helmet, and a cup.)

Others have brought up another critical point, OP, which is that you need to strengthen your bonds with your social supports--your friends, your family members, your coworkers, your neighbors--and keep them informed of what's going on. If things become sketchy, uncomfortable, or unsafe, you need people to turn to, and furries on the Internet won't hack it.

 

[Sweetheartz22]

Borderline: page two
Obvious: page three

Not trying to be a pest, Aleu. But, I looked through both pages and I can't find in any way,shape, or form that I was flirting with Moku in my thread I might be having a blonde moment. Anyhow, I do tend to give off a flirty vibe when I don't mean to (i.e. being too friendly, too nice, giving too many compliments, ect.). Sorry if I'm annoying you, just trying to be sure we're on the same page.

 

[Sweetheartz22]

You do not have any relatives to camp with at all?

If not, then take the proper precaution and get some birth control he cannot tamper or know about (unless he finds the paperwork).

Unfortunately, I'm the black sheep of my family My family consists of Christians or Catholics, whereas I'm an Atheist. They also live in what I call the dark ages because they believe I should "serve my husband and let him make the decisions. just need to worry about raising your children, instead of working. Working is for the man and he'll take care of you if you let him". A 1940s era wife is what I'm guessing they want me to be. So yeah, I disagree with them all. As for birth control, I had a horrible experience a few years back where I went to the E.R. because I went into a vomiting fit because I was too sensitive. So I'm a little paranoid to say the least.

 

[HereKittyKitty]

Regardless of flirting or not (and certainly meaning no offense to Mokushi), please please please do not rush off just to jump some other guy's bone.
Yes, you should get out of the situation you are in. Just don't get out of a shitty situation by getting into a new shitty situation.
You moved too fast the first time and ended up married to an asshole who you thought you loved and that he was the man of your dreams and now he's raping you.

Think before you jump the bone.
Give yourself time before you go off "falling in love" again.

 

[PapayaShark]

Unfortunately, I'm the black sheep of my family My family consists of Christians or Catholics, whereas I'm an Atheist. They also live in what I call the dark ages because they believe I should "serve my husband and let him make the decisions. just need to worry about raising your children, instead of working. Working is for the man and he'll take care of you if you let him". A 1940s era wife is what I'm guessing they want me to be. So yeah, I disagree with them all. As for birth control, I had a horrible experience a few years back where I went to the E.R. because I went into a vomiting fit because I was too sensitive. So I'm a little paranoid to say the least.

You could use femidoms.

 

[Dazreiello]

Reading down the somewhat grim story, it really was awfully disturbing. I wouldn't go off and say he's the worst person ever, just not the best person for you in particular as far as I've gathered. Not everyone is compatible, otherwise we'd be a peaceful race (or a bit more peaceful than we are now).

I'm relieved to hear you have a plan (or back up plan) set up for when you are given the opportunity to go with. I was hoping this wasn't going to end up being a tale with no hopeful end, I've seen far too many, but that's reality. Though I'm glad to have somewhat of a possible conclusion which I am content with leaving with. I hope things definitely work out for you, I always wish I could help others but I'm a complete random stranger, I wouldn't advise getting help from me.

Hope to hear good news, or rather I'll just think there will be, because I always overlook alot of posts here, I may most likely never see anything from you again.

Goodbye and good day.

 

[thoughtmaster]

Was this an arranged marriage caused by an agreement between your husband and your parents, seeing as their views are pretty much the same. I'm sorry but you most likely will be forced into another marriage with some other jerk if you divorse your husband, so I must advise you fake your own death.

 

[Ozriel]

Locking as per OP's request.