Corrupt-A-Wish Resurrected

[JynxLynx]

Since we don't have a forum games board anymore (coughcough) I'm sure it's not completely unreasonable to have at least one game in General Discussions. I remember the old post having probably 50-70 pages. :'^)
Most of you know how to play, but I'll describe it anyway:
The user above you makes a wish. It is your job to grant it but to twist it so it has a negative impact. Then, you make a wish and the person below corrupts it, and so on. For example,
"I wish for ice cream."
"Granted. Your ice cream is melted and poisoned."
I'll start us off!~
I wish I could fly.

 

[reptile logic]

Granted. Your flight ceiling leaves your toes dragging on the ground.

I wish I had time, and money.

Edit: Phone call...too slow on the wish!

 

[Mercuss]

Your wish is granted! Your wings are made out of paper.

My wish is to have a new mattress.

 

[JynxLynx]

Your wish is granted! Your wings are made out of paper.

My wish is to have a new mattress.

Granted. It's stone.
I wish for a puppy.

 

[Mercuss]

Granted. It's stone.
I wish for a puppy.

Granted! It is hairless.
My wish: to never get exhausted from heat. (Then I could fursuit everywhere! If I HAD a fursuit...)

 

[reptile logic]

Granted. Welcome to the new ice age.

I wish for a new pair of boots.

 

[Azrion/Zhalo]

Granted. Welcome to the new ice age.

I wish for a new pair of boots.

Granted. Your boots are the bloody corpses of dead fuzzy bunnies.

I wish for lots of monie

 

[All#the#fuR]

Granted. Your boots are the bloody corpses of dead fuzzy bunnies.

I wish for lots of monie

You get that... A uhhh... A chiefly Scottish variant of many(?)

I wish I could play Overwatch now instead of waiting.

 

[JynxLynx]

Granted. It crashes every time you try to load it.
I wish for talent.

 

[Maximus B. Panda]

Granted. It crashes every time you try to load it.
I wish for talent.

You become talented......at working as a prostitute.

I wish to be immortal, the kind where I don't ever physically age.

 

[Azrion/Zhalo]

You become talented......at working as a prostitute.

I wish to be immortal, the kind where I don't ever physically age.

Granted. You will have a coma for the rest of your life.

I wish for a guitar.

 

[Maximus B. Panda]

Granted. You will have a coma for the rest of your life.

(Holy shit, that is brutal! I was expecting something like outliving loved ones and working for the rest of my life, but this is even better. I like your style!)

 

[Mercuss]

I wish for a guitar.

Granted! Your guitar's strings are made with barbed wire

My wish is to have free unlimited first class airline flights.

 

[Simo]

Granted! But only to Syria and North Korea. One Way.

I wish skunks like me ruled the world!

 

[reptile logic]

Granted. Your sense of smell has increased tenfold.

I wish for a tropical island.

 

[Azrion/Zhalo]

Granted. Your sense of smell has increased tenfold.

I wish for a tropical island.

Granted. Tropical Island has cannibalistic midgets.

I wish for a unopened can of Mountain Dew.

 

[reptile logic]

Granted. You open your can and out comes a mountain of doo.

I wish for a bucket of fried chicken.

 

[Kitsune633]

Granted. You open your can and out comes a mountain of doo.

I wish for a bucket of fried chicken.

Granted. The meat is infected with all the diseases known to man.

I wish I were a Probation Officer.

 

[ZacAttackk]

Granted. The meat is infected with all the diseases known to man.

I wish I were a Probation Officer.

Granted, but you have 35 hour shifts.

I wish for a hug.

 

[Luku_Zuku]

Granted, but the hugger has several spines, like a cactus.

I wish for a better phone

 

[TheMintyBun]

Granted, however the screen's colors are always in negative.

I wish for better eyesight.

 

[Azrion/Zhalo]

Granted, however the screen's colors are always in negative.

I wish for better eyesight.

Granted. You can now witness your loved ones be murdered in front of you...

I wish for peace.

 

[Mercuss]

Granted, but the hugger has several spines, like a cactus.

I wish for a better phone

Granted. Your old phone was a rock so now you get a potato.

My wish is to have incredible drawing and painting skills.

 

[Luku_Zuku]

Granted. Your old phone was a rock so now you get a potato.

My wish is to have incredible drawing and painting skills.

Granted. You can only use your skills to draw sparkledogs

I wish I can stab people who piss me off without lawful consequence.

 

[Simo]

Granted! But only with a butter-knife, and they get really angry, and give you two black eyes, and a fat lip-without lawful consequences.

I wish all dogs, foxes and wolves were transformed into prancing, dancing, sparkle-dogs, who peed rainbows.