• Fur Affinity Forums are governed by Fur Affinity's Rules and Policies. Links and additional information can be accessed in the Site Information Forum.

Could use advice?

MissFleece

I AM THE MACHINE
Okay, so I've had some major depression issues for pretty much years, but haven't gone to the doctor and cannot do so, so don't suggest that, please. I go to college, but I've gotten pretty bad, so bad that everyone notices (I can't stop breaking into tears.) My mother wants me to take a semester off college to de-stress, and I'd like to because I want to focus on making fursuits (I just started so they're fairly shitty right now) but I know this is just a ploy for her to get more money out of my brother's dad. I was going to rat on her this Christmas anyway, so that doesn't matter much. However, if I take this break I wouldn't start college again until fall. Anyone who has taken a break from college, was it a good idea? What are some pros and cons?
 

Renarde

Little Fox
Taking a break from college is almost never a bad idea, in my opinion. I honestly wish I had. All my friends who've done it say it gives you time to re-affirm what you're doing. Especially if you're struggling with depression, your mental well-being absolutely comes first. You can always go back to school, but taking care of yourself should be priority.
 

jtrekkie

Feathered
I'm sorry, I don't have any advice. I just want to tell you that you may be able to deal with depression yourself for a long time, but you need to take care of it any way you can.

Taking some time off may help. Stress and depression don't play well together. I can't speak for the consequences, though.
 
I can see a glimpse of a few things that may be causing the depression, stress, or what have you, but you'd need to expand/elaborate upon a few things:
1) Are you able to go to group therapy? It's not the answer to every problem, but being able to share your problems and hear others problems can really give perspective, and possibly lead to a fundamental understanding of what's triggering your depression, if not at least getting things off your back. They aren't really the be-all end-all of anything, but it's usually better than bottling things up.
2) You say "my brother's dad", which would need clarification - Are your mom and dad married? Are you directly their child (e.g. not adopted, not from different parents, etc.)? Is your brother 'through blood', or 'through marriage'?
3) I HIGHLY advise against making "a stand" at any major holiday or event - You might feel better in the short term, but the long term is usually quite detrimental (your outburst will likely never be forgotten, but you will also not be remembered fondly, making it not worth it).
4) College is certainly an intellectual "out" that is worthwhile to get into and take your mind off of things, but your situation is hard to gauge. I know at the college I went to though, if I took a semester off, I would be put at the back of the line (regular semester-goers got preferential treatment) - So it would not necessarily be worth taking the time off, but that is wholly individual to yourself, and how your college functions.

Sorry for more questions than answers >_>
 

RedSavage

Rattlesnake Flavored
I'm going to do the opposite of what you said.

But why can't you go to the doctor?
Have you tried antidepressants before?
Even light ones can help tremendously. Especially if the urge to get better is already there. Like I do see it here.
 

MissFleece

I AM THE MACHINE
1) Are you able to go to group therapy? It's not the answer to every problem, but being able to share your problems and hear others problems can really give perspective, and possibly lead to a fundamental understanding of what's triggering your depression, if not at least getting things off your back. They aren't really the be-all end-all of anything, but it's usually better than bottling things up.

I know what's causing my depression, and I know it doesn't sound smart but I'd rather not go to group therapy since the issues I'm working through are very personal and I've only told two people about it.

2) You say "my brother's dad", which would need clarification - Are your mom and dad married? Are you directly their child (e.g. not adopted, not from different parents, etc.)? Is your brother 'through blood', or 'through marriage'?

My dad and my mom never got married, he got abusive and I only saw him every other weekend. Then when I was 15 he disowned me for personal reasons. My brother's dad was married to my mom but they divorced before I was conceived. He has been taking care of my mom and I since my dad fucked off. He hasn't adopted me legally, but he put me in his will and stuff.

3) I HIGHLY advise against making "a stand" at any major holiday or event - You might feel better in the short term, but the long term is usually quite detrimental (your outburst will likely never be forgotten, but you will also not be remembered fondly, making it not worth it).

Christmas is when Steve, my brother's dad, comes up from Panama to spend time with us. I was planning to take him aside and explain how my mom has been lying to him because he deserves to know. I'd rather do it in person than over email.

4) College is certainly an intellectual "out" that is worthwhile to get into and take your mind off of things, but your situation is hard to gauge. I know at the college I went to though, if I took a semester off, I would be put at the back of the line (regular semester-goers got preferential treatment) - So it would not necessarily be worth taking the time off, but that is wholly individual to yourself, and how your college functions.

Fair enough.

I'm going to do the opposite of what you said.

But why can't you go to the doctor?
Have you tried antidepressants before?
Even light ones can help tremendously. Especially if the urge to get better is already there. Like I do see it here.

My mom steals my pills and I have a horrible fear of authority figures.
 
Last edited:

Renarde

Little Fox
I know what's causing my depression, and I know it doesn't sound smart but I'd rather not go to group therapy since the issues I'm working through are very personal and I've only told two people about it.

As someone who's worked through a lot of therapy to face some pretty messed up stuff, the only way to get through that type of thing is to face it head on. It's scary, but if something in terms of therapy scares you or feels uncomfortable, there's usually progress to be found there if you tread carefully and intentionally. If you're not ready, that's definitely okay, these things take time. However, it's something to keep in mind.
 

jtrekkie

Feathered
Doctors are good, they can usually make you feel comfortable. You shouldn't worry about that. Somebody taking your pills, however, is a very large problem. Not just for you.
 

MissFleece

I AM THE MACHINE
*sigh* you guys are great at making people see reason.
Next time I get cash I'll see about going to therapy. Thank you.

Somebody taking your pills, however, is a very large problem. Not just for you.

Yeah my mom's a piece of work. However, she hasn't had the chance to steal my pills since I was 14, so I dunno if that's changed or not. Probs not though, she bought pills off her friend who's going through chemo a bit ago.
 
It does sound like a mixture of depression AND anxiety. You need to see a psychiatrist when you can.

However, I personally can relate to depression. While I have never been officially diagnosed, it is something I have been battling throughout my teen to my mid 20s. Last year it was especially debilitating where my suicidal ideation reached an all time high...in which I was doing some questionable activities.

For me, no one event has solved depression for me. But it is vital for you to break down your thoughts and feelings and if you can't, to seek help before it completely breaks you down. Try this...make a list of what causes you to be sad. Next, make a list of things that worry and bring you stress. You may find that these two lists are very similar and can feed into one another...and you may find new stressors in which you didn't think you were aware of. Taking steps to "fix", for a lack of better words, these issues help a ton. Reducing your stress is very vital and there are many ways to fix the symptoms (working a lot, running, school, etc), but you need to identify the problem.

I wish you luck! :)
 

Troj

Your Friendly Neighborhood Dino Therapist
What about the campus counseling office? Maybe they could point you in the right direction, and/or offer you reduced-fee or free services.
 

-Nimh-

New Member
Anyone who has taken a break from college, was it a good idea?

hm, I dropped out of my first college after 2 years studying there; during those 2 years it turned out to be a place where I just didn´t belong to. So I took a break and got a job instead for a year to get a clear head, better people skills and some cash before I applied for another college.

I barely know something about your situation, but taking a break and get a job for a year did the trick for me :)

Take care!
 
Top