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Iflyte

Member
Hi guys, as you can imagine, the story I've written takes place in the metroid universe and is also quite smutty, definitely NSFW and featuring a number of out of the ordinary kinks.

www.furaffinity.net: The Metroid's Song by iflyte

A Brief Description:

The Metroid's song is a complete retelling of events from Metroid Fusion.

After being ambushed and brought to near death by her alien doppelganger, the SA-X, Samus finds herself going from hunter to hunted. Cornered and at odds with the weaknesses of her new alien biology, the timely intervention of an unlikely savior spares her from certain doom. But is all as it seems? Or has a fate more gruesome and disturbingly intimate befallen the galaxies greatest bounty hunter?

Without getting too spoiler heavy, the story centers around a consistent theme from the actual game itself, how at odds Samus is with the new weaknesses her hybridization has brought upon her, and how extremely vulnerable she is now throughout the course of the story. It wasn't body horror but, the idea had the makings of an interesting transformation concept, so I started there, and just kinda felt compelled to keep goin.

What follows afterward is both how the supporting characters and the federation deal with the apparent disappearance of Samus Aran, and how to deal with the BSL space station going forward.

The Problem:


I'm coming to you today because I'm kind of hitting a wall when it comes to progressing this story. I know where I WANT to take it, but getting there is driving me up a wall. I'm currently 6 chapters in, which I know is asking a lot for someone to read through but I need some outside advice on a few things.

My first problem is kind of the fact that I've blown this story to proportions I never intended it to reach when I was starting out, it was just gonna be a one and done fetish story. At first I was enthusiastic about it because it was just a matter of exploring the aftermath of the transformation I introduced in the first part, and admittedly having fun with pregnancy kinks. I used these portions as a cutaway from the other narrative elements, to show what Samus has been up to and to keep others and myself interested.

But now I've reached a portion in the story where I feel it wouldn't be appropriate to do so again, both because I feel like it'd be forced, and because as of the 6th chapter, the focus needs to shift to the deuteragonist of the story for a time. My problem is, does that side of the story hold up on it's own? I feel insecure about the characters I've written and their capacity to be...well interesting, and without some sexual segment happening in the next chapter, will anybody (including myself) actually care?

TL;DR:


Basically, what I'm asking is for a critique of my ability to write characters. If anybody could spare some time or even skim through my story, give me some thoughts or god willing some advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Like I said I know where I want to take the story, its just...getting from point A to point C seems like such a daunting slog atm, and I don't want a story I was having so much fun with feel that way.

Anyhoo sorry for the lengthy diatribe, thanks so much in advance ^^
 
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