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Critique Request: Never Be Alone


New Member
Hello all,

Never Be Alone is a novella (well, it started as a short story) that I've been working on, and I've posted the first four chapters to FA. I'd like any input that any of you could give on it. This is a "modern" story taking place around the holiday season, where the main character, Delkin Choel, is back at home with his family after years of being away. Each chapter alternates between the "present" and a flashback scene from sometime in the past. I hope the rest will become clear upon reading. Each chapter is about 1000 words long. I'll link to all four chapters here, but you should be able to easily navigate between the chapters on the FA page itself. I'll accept any kind of critique, criticism, or advice, no matter how small or how mean. :p I am specifically looking for help on the characters and the setting, though. And it's okay if you don't read all four chapters; I'll take any help I can get!

Okay, here's the links:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four (NOTE: This one is a little explicit, and should be considered "adult").

Thanks in advance for any help, and I'll always be glad to critique any work that comes my way too! :D