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[Critique Request] The Spider's Trial - Seducing the Healer

Setokaiva

New Member
As you can guess by the word 'seducing', this story is sex-focused, so anyone who finds that uncomfortable need not apply for this request.

This story is a Novelized Roleplaying Log, something I've been posting a lot of lately. What that means is that it is in a play-by-play format, with the point-of-view jumping between two characters, each played by a different person, but both essentially co-writing the story through their respective characters.

Description:
This story is character-driven, with two main characters. One is a spider-woman (aka. drideress) named Elytra; the other is a young, anthropomorphic cat-man named Genjel.

Genjel is a recently-minted healer/magic-user from the particular group he trains under, and as part of his final test to achieve an official rank, he is assigned an obscure mission: To go deep into an old, dark redwood forest that's barely on any maps, with vague instructions of what he must do to proceed.

Elytra is a drideress living in said forest, who acts as the test herself -- all given the challenge must make it through one full night at the voluptuous seductress' mercy, without using magic, and NOT give in to the desire to simply stay there with her forever.

Specifics for critiquing:
I am not very concerned about grammar, punctuation, and the like, though if you find any glaring problems feel free to let me know. I mostly just want an honest, full read-through of it, so people can tell me in detail what parts they liked, and which they did not. The 'why' matters, here, as I'm not concerned about likes or dislikes vis-a-vis people's tastes regarding certain content, but I do care about whether the story as a whole 'works', or if there is something glaring that takes away from the immersion, etc.

This story is on FurAffinity's main website. Further, more specific content tags are available in the description past the link below:
www.furaffinity.net: The Spider's Trial - Seducing the Healer by Setokaiva
 
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