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Critique Request: We'll Always Have Wizmar


The Conmarten
Title: We'll Always Have Wizmar

Word Count: ~1,500

Summary: Set in the aftermath of a terrible row with her master/guide in the magical arts, Conrad Markem, Madison Eyes (an Ice Sage) must drag her broken, cursed body across the city of Wizmar to reach her friend, and the one creature who will be able to heal her: Delia Boxwood, the Light Sage.

Content Warning: Strong language if you translate the German words peppered throughout the story into English. Additionally, the results of some significant physical and magical wounds are described in some detail, and there is an implicit lesbian relationship between the two main characters, although there is nothing but a bit of banter on-screen.

Requesting Comments On:
- Comprehensibility. This is a short story based on a specific RP site, and I hope that with the explanation I provide in the comments section of piece, people outside that site can understand what is going on.
- Angst. Is it too much? This is a dark story, but I hate straying into 'wangst' territory.
- Interest. Does it generate any? Would you, as a reader, want to read anything else about these characters?
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