[Critique Requested] "Wolf Boy" An Upcoming Novel

[K9Lupus]

Hello everyone,

I wanted to extend an invitation and request to each of you to take the time to read over and critique my main writing project, "Wolf Boy":

"Wolf Boy" follows the journey of a girl named Nylca who finds solace exploring the woods around her home to escape from the tension of a fractured family. Her world is turned upside down one cold, winter day when she catches a glimpse of a mysterious creature lurking across the stream. When this strange Wolf Boy ends up saving Nylca from certain death, she quickly learns that although he has his strange quirks, he isn't quite so different from herself. However, when Nylca begins to notice strange changes taking place across her body she is forced to decide between her new friendship and preserving the chance to repair her broken family. It is only a matter of time before her parents will find out about what's been going on.

Their journey towards understanding one another will bring together two seemingly distant worlds and explore what it means to fully embrace the calling within your heart.

How much would you change for the one that you love?

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This has been my major project ongoing now for the last two years. For a large portion of that time the project got put on the backburner due to life circumstances, but over the past few months I've been excited to dive right back in and continue chugging away at furthering the story. I've been thankful for the feedback I've already received on the project and I look to gather more thoughts and reactions to the story as I continue working on it to help shape it into the best story that it can be. In total "Wolf Boy" is currently at 150+ pages available and is still ongoing.

Link to the first part of "Wolf Boy" below:
www.furaffinity.net: Wolf Boy (Novel) Part 1 by K9Lupus

Thank you again in advance for any feedback and support you can provide towards the continuation of this project. I've been so impressed by the thoughtfulness of the community and I hope that in the future to be that I can announce that "Wolf Boy" is a success.

Wishing you all the best,
~Lupus

 

[JZLobo]

Hey! I just read the first chapter, and I have to say--your prose is pretty good. You've got a nice command of the English language. The story itself, however, didn't really grab me, mostly because of the second chapter. There's a vague reference to a strained relationship with her parents and then you move on. I feel like you forgot the old rule "Show, don't tell."

A few years back I watched Ghostbusters with the director's commentary on, because I'm a huge nerd like that. And something they said about storytelling really impressed me--in a story with fantastical elements, it's better to show your protagonist in the real world first and build up to the big stuff. Obviously, that doesn't apply to every story, but in a story like you're telling, we barely know your main character when Stuff Starts Happening. I feel like you should consider working in a new opening scene with the character and her parents. This can help establish a lot of things, like who she is and what kind of world she lives in, so the reader can appreciate all these things better before she meets the werewolf and starts tumbling down the rabbit hole.

I really did like that opening paragraph, though. It's a strong opening, stick with that.