• Fur Affinity Forums are governed by Fur Affinity's Rules and Policies. Links and additional information can be accessed in the Site Information Forum.

Critique - Requesting Beta Reader(s) - Original BBW Harem story "Lost & Found"

RVDDP

New Member
Hi, this is my first time posting here. Not sure if this is the right forum or what have you but I am hoping to find a beta reader to read an adult/mature story with adult language and sexual content I've been writing which is a sci-fi bbw harem story tentatively called "Lost & Found", I'm not sure how best to describe it but its a story about a space cruise ship with all female anthro passengers who get lost in space and years later they stumble across a lone male adrift, you can kinda guess what happens next. I'm hoping for feedback on story structure, plot, pacing, characters, and more. I haven't posted it on FA as I would like to have it refined before doing so. Here is a small excerpt:

The void of space is one of the last bastions of wonder, beauty and mystery. Over the course of history, many have sought to explore it, traversing it to learn what secrets it held, what wonders it possessed. Others on the other hand, voyaged through it not for exploration but recreation. For hundreds of years after the residents of the planet formerly known as Earth ventured into the stars after the human race had long since gone extinct, inhabiting other worlds and massive space colonies, many have ventured across the galaxy on massive space vessels whose sole purpose was to entertain and please its passengers.

With the variety of species aboard and coming from various backgrounds, the vessel’s crew was well-trained in being able to be accommodating to any and all their passenger’s needs. Over time however, the crew of such vessels were slowly replaced by robots with advanced artificial intelligences, whether it was to improve the performance of catering to the passengers or a means of cost cutting was unknown.

Over the years, to keep interest in the space cruising industry, they began voyaging into uncharted territory, entering areas that had yet to be thoroughly investigated and cleared for such traffic. Unfortunately, one such vessel, the Andromeda Star, was one such craft to traverse into the unknown. Commissioned for a three week pleasure cruise, its all-female passenger manifest enjoyed days of festivities, grand vistas and awe-inspiring sights. One day, the vessel entered a nebula that possessed colors that defied the known light spectrum.

As it trekked through the anomalous cloud, whether a result of the electrical activity being generated by the ship interacting with the nebula or a naturally occurring event, a massive electrical storm erupted within the space cloud, bombarding the Andromeda Star with relentless jolts and other indescribable impacts. The intense onslaught overwhelmed the ship’s ‘crew’, corrupting their A.I. and disrupting the ship’s auto pilot and navigation controls, including the transponder. After the assault, the vessel was propelled aimlessly out of the nebula. With no one to control the ship, its crew deactivated and the passengers inexperienced in engine repair and/or space travel, the Andromeda Star drifted across the cosmos.


I hope someone would be willing to have a look and tell me what they think, help me refine it, etc.

Let me know how to submit it for review :)
 
Last edited:
Top