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Deep Fried Drama with Waffle Fries and Lemonade

Would you eat a born again chicken sandwich?

  • Yes

    Votes: 24 75.0%
  • No

    Votes: 8 25.0%

  • Total voters
    32
  • Poll closed .
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Infrarednexus

Guest
babylonbee.com: Chick-Fil-A Commits To Using 100% Born-Again Chickens

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ATLANTA, GA—In a press conference held Thursday, Chick-fil-A representatives promised to become the first fast-food chain in the nation to use 100% born-again chickens in their sandwiches, nuggets, strips, and other chicken food products.


While other restaurants have made vague commitments to using "spiritual but not religious" poultry, only Chick-fil-A has taken the challenge to use 100% regenerate chickens in its recipes.

"Every single one of our ethically raised chickens was given a gospel tract, walked through the sinner's prayer, and then baptized---in piping hot peanut oil," one spokesperson said. "As you consume one of our classic chicken sandwiches with a little Polynesian sauce or some delectable Chick-fil-A sauce, rest secure in the knowledge that the chicken you're eating is in a better place."

The Chick-fil-A rep was quick to warn consumers about the dangers of consuming under-sanctified chicken meat.

"Before you take a bite of that McChicken, ask yourself if it accepted Jesus as its Lord and Savior before it was killed," he added. "Side effects of carnal chicken meat may include indigestion, food poisoning, and an overwhelming desire to sin against God."
 

Nate/Satsuki

Your friendly neighbourhood disaster
Isn’t Chick Fil A, like, against gay marriage? Then again, I’m pretty sure that the guy in charge is a religious fanatic so I’m honestly not surprised
 
N

Nyro46

Guest
At first I thought the title said "Chick-Fil-A Commissions" and I was like "uhhh what?"
 

Telnac

Fundamentalist Heretic

AppleButt

Well-Known Member
Isn’t Chick Fil A, like, against gay marriage? Then again, I’m pretty sure that the guy in charge is a religious fanatic so I’m honestly not surprised

They donated money to an organization that is anti-gay I believe.

I don't like Chic-fil-a. I don't get the big deal about them. I think that it's their great customer service that drives people to think they're amazing.

But then again I really don't like fast food chains much at all anymore.
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
They donated money to an organization that is anti-gay I believe.

I don't like Chic-fil-a. I don't get the big deal about them. I think that it's their great customer service that drives people to think they're amazing.

But then again I really don't like fast food chains much at all anymore.
Multiple organizations, one of which has been involved with formulating law to criminalize homosexuality in an African country (I don't recall which). IIRC the donations were made before the criminalization bullshit, but it still paints a pretty dire picture of the kind of Christian fundamentalist anti-gay organizations they support.
 

Lexiand

Werewolf
babylonbee.com: Chick-Fil-A Commits To Using 100% Born-Again Chickens

View attachment 73429

ATLANTA, GA—In a press conference held Thursday, Chick-fil-A representatives promised to become the first fast-food chain in the nation to use 100% born-again chickens in their sandwiches, nuggets, strips, and other chicken food products.


While other restaurants have made vague commitments to using "spiritual but not religious" poultry, only Chick-fil-A has taken the challenge to use 100% regenerate chickens in its recipes.

"Every single one of our ethically raised chickens was given a gospel tract, walked through the sinner's prayer, and then baptized---in piping hot peanut oil," one spokesperson said. "As you consume one of our classic chicken sandwiches with a little Polynesian sauce or some delectable Chick-fil-A sauce, rest secure in the knowledge that the chicken you're eating is in a better place."

The Chick-fil-A rep was quick to warn consumers about the dangers of consuming under-sanctified chicken meat.

"Before you take a bite of that McChicken, ask yourself if it accepted Jesus as its Lord and Savior before it was killed," he added. "Side effects of carnal chicken meat may include indigestion, food poisoning, and an overwhelming desire to sin against God."

I honestly think that is not scientifically possible to do.
 

RossTheRottie

Movie Buff, Aquascapist, Hack Writer
I gotta hand it to them, this is pretty hilarious.

I'd never heard of Babylon Bee before, I had no idea there was Christian version of The Onion.
 
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