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Demisexual thread (plus Aces)

Slytherin Umbreon

Black Lives Matter
Fucking Love Artemis.
Yeah, it's nice to know we're not alone :)
Raise your hand (paw, hoof, etc) if you've heard the "You just haven't found the right partner yet..." response or something similar when you try to explain
*rolls eyes*
Nah, but I've only told 1 person irl, only because she was being kind of weird/flustered with personal questions. But I'm also socially awkward, so I don't really have a right to judge -3-
 

Sirhorsealot

Tryhard
AroAce here! Not a single ounce of romantic or sexual attraction to anyone in this weasel.
I can barely tell when someone is supposed to be attractive-- makes things very confusing at times! If you asked me if you were pretty I could not give you an honest answer besides "Well you look like a person." Interestingly, I have types when it comes to fictional characters? But real people make me feel absolutely nothing lol
I feel that! XD Welcome to this strange party going on over here, hope you enjoy your stay ^^
It's been really awkward the few times that I've been asked what my type is, because I mean, it isn't super easy for me to just romantically fall for someone either. The only things that I know is I mostly like long hair, but it's nowhere near a deal breaker, and that's about it X3 Ah, fun times
 

cowboi

DM me your favorite dinosaur
I think one of the problems is that people want an easy to digest answer. “I’m gay, I’m straight, I’m pansexual.” Sometimes we just don’t know, or we do and it’s not easy to describe or it may be super personal. But that should be ok; as long as you’re ok with how you feel and your feelings don’t endanger or marginalize others.
 

Thrashy

The Drunk Skunk. Metal and Beer. FckNzs.
I think one of the problems is that people want an easy to digest answer. “I’m gay, I’m straight, I’m pansexual.” Sometimes we just don’t know, or we do and it’s not easy to describe or it may be super personal. But that should be ok; as long as you’re ok with how you feel and your feelings don’t endanger or marginalize others.
Yeah, lot of people have no idea what it is and sometimes it seems, that they don't want to understand (not that they couldn't).

Luckily, my parents and friends are pretty open. I've had to explain what it is as they haven't heard from asexuality before (can't blame them there), but they took it serious and accepted it.
 

Kinare

RAWR
Raise your hand (paw, hoof, etc) if you've heard the "You just haven't found the right partner yet..." response or something similar when you try to explain

I've not, simply because I don't go telling anyone who would probably say that (like family and such). I have heard of this happening though, pretty common for aces to be told that I'd say. My friend who is ace even doubts himself because of this. One the one hand, he does want to be 100% sure of it, but on the other hand there's people in his ear all the time telling him to try this and that because "maybe you don't know what you like yet"...
 

Thrashy

The Drunk Skunk. Metal and Beer. FckNzs.
I've not, simply because I don't go telling anyone who would probably say that (like family and such). I have heard of this happening though, pretty common for aces to be told that I'd say. My friend who is ace even doubts himself because of this. One the one hand, he does want to be 100% sure of it, but on the other hand there's people in his ear all the time telling him to try this and that because "maybe you don't know what you like yet"...
Show him this meme ^^
705f7f2f36ec8854cbd7954d07ab673c4a9217fdbe355d6b15f0c109528441f8_1.jpg
 

Kinare

RAWR
The aforementioned friend told me that he gets told "well, you're probably just a bottom" sometimes... He has been told that multiple times apparently. So... big wow to that ignorance. Being a bottom still means having sex, and if you're not into sex at all why would that one specific act be seen as the default despite that...? I just don't get their logic on that one.
 

cowboi

DM me your favorite dinosaur
Actually the metaphor I prefer are roller coasters. (Preface: I like roller coasters)

Lots of people like roller coasters. And nothing’s wrong with that. And people like different types - upside down, old fashioned wooden coasters, ones that shoot you straight up in the air, etc. but I don’t have to ride one to know it doesn’t appeal to me. Or maybe, only certain types appeal to me. But I might still understand the enjoyment others get. It’s just not for me.

except I like roller coasters.
 

Water Draco

Next LondonFurs?? Please stay tuned
Actually the metaphor I prefer are roller coasters. (Preface: I like roller coasters)

Lots of people like roller coasters. And nothing’s wrong with that. And people like different types - upside down, old fashioned wooden coasters, ones that shoot you straight up in the air, etc. but I don’t have to ride one to know it doesn’t appeal to me. Or maybe, only certain types appeal to me. But I might still understand the enjoyment others get. It’s just not for me.

except I like roller coasters.

Where as I don't get any thrill or enjoyment at all from riding roller coasters and find them to be boring.

But do enjoy things like abseiling through open voids, horse riding, motorcycling....
 

Sirhorsealot

Tryhard
I like all the metaphors XDD
Yeah, from what I understand a lot of people get told that they just haven't found "the one" yet. I honestly think I'd get this response from a few family members if I tried telling them, because for some reason everyone should have kids even though the world is overpopulated XP
I've never heard that "maybe you're just a bottom" argument before though :0 Seems a bit... misinformed. Bottoms can want it as bad as tops, only difference is who's giving and receiving. It's just sort of weird in general to me that someone would naturally assume that bottoms aren't really into that, though. Makes me wonder what their life experience was...
 

Thrashy

The Drunk Skunk. Metal and Beer. FckNzs.
The aforementioned friend told me that he gets told "well, you're probably just a bottom" sometimes... He has been told that multiple times apparently. So... big wow to that ignorance. Being a bottom still means having sex, and if you're not into sex at all why would that one specific act be seen as the default despite that...? I just don't get their logic on that one.
Ok that's the stupidest argument I've ever heard xD
 

2a03fox

the only fox top
I honestly think I'd get this response from a few family members if I tried telling them, because for some reason everyone should have kids even though the world is overpopulated XP
I've never heard that "maybe you're just a bottom" argument before though :0

The world actually isn't overpopulated. Food production increases at a rate faster than population. The idea of overpopulation originates from eugenics, and was used to justify it. Also, do you think I could just be an emotional bottom? Maybe that's why I don't like anyone!
 

Raever

Chaotic Neutral Wreckage
AroAce here! Not a single ounce of romantic or sexual attraction to anyone in this weasel.
I can barely tell when someone is supposed to be attractive-- makes things very confusing at times! If you asked me if you were pretty I could not give you an honest answer besides "Well you look like a person." Interestingly, I have types when it comes to fictional characters? But real people make me feel absolutely nothing lol

I balance on this quite extensively myself. As a Greysexual with an occasionally high sexual libido I find myself much more likely to enjoy something Fantasy based and personal than something with another person. That's not to say I can't choose to be with another person, and I quite enjoy making a partner happy in a Platonic sense of "I just gave you a high equal to an illegal drug, hell yeah!" (fun facts: Orgasms have similar brain scans to people who do heavy drugs like cocaine).

However, it always feels like a chore for me to do anything afterwards such as let them try and get me off. It always either doesn't last long enough (even if it goes on for 40+ minutes) or just doesn't trigger anything to begin with. I'm fully convinced that I'm the only one who can do anything for myself at this point.

I used to have an obsession with trying pretty much everything to see if I could figure out why I was so "broken" for only being able to get an orgasmic feeling via fantasizing and solo play. Maybe if I did it with this person, or tried this kink, or did it this way, or did this for a really long amount of time. I treated it like a scientist instead of like a loving partner, and that probably made things harder for both parties involved.

Eventually I got to a point where I decided, if someone I love knows the secret that's awesome - but I'm not hunting it down anymore. It's a waste of time and a huge mood killer.

Speaking of love, I'd call myself Aro purely due to the very strong platonic romantic feelings I get. I can't call it love. I mean, I can and I do for normal people lol. Yet I'm a thousand percent sure that what I feel must pale in comparison to what others classify as love. I have moments where an emotion eats me alive, or makes me crave a person's presence, but I can't call that love. It's more like obsession to me. It's toxic in the wrong scenarios, and people have taken advantage of my willingness and hurt me many times because of it. I cannot develop a healthy form of love. It's usually either, "I feel almost nothing", "You're a useful and valued friend", or "I'd stab someone for you if you wanted me to do it,".

This, as you might imagine, keeps me from wanting to develop bonds with people in that way. I've seen therapists as a child throughout my teens, but there wasn't much they could figure out regarding things save for a possible Reactive Attachment Disorder, but because I didn't meet a certain number of symptoms and flipped between one and the other type (being highly attached, or being the opposite and not showing anything regarding emotions) they couldn't make a proper diagnosis.

Sometimes I'll warn partners and say I have it just so they aren't caught off guard, but I'm almost sure that it isn't accurate to what's actually happening. I think that for me, I just have an intense desire to please people that manage to make me feel something I otherwise can't under normal circumstances. I've only dated around three people in my life, and I'm twenty two. Each time I'd been with that person for around four to five years because of how much I try to hold onto the relationship, even if it might not be the best.

Maybe one day I'll have it figured out...

I'm rambling, but I guess my point is that whatever kind of Ace or Aro you happen to be - you definitely aren't broken for not feeling like another person, even another aro, and if you only experience things rarely or sometimes, that's okay too. Sexual satisfaction is healthy for people to have, not just your partner(s), and if you can achieve it through fantasies then go for it. Oh, and if a partner tries to make you feel like crap for doing that (assuming you're compromising to some degree for their happiness), they aren't the one for you.
 

Valryth

Do clouds look down and think I'm one of them?
I'm definitely demi, but it's hard for me to explain. I would gladly have a relationship with someone that involved absolutely no sex! This is why I used to think I was ace before. But on the other hand, if I fall for someone who is actually into it... I feel like I can manifest in a very intense way too? It's just very weird to me, because I feel completely uninterested in sex if I'm not interested in the person.

This basically does mean that I am demi, but it's such a complicated sexuality? Not to mention that it's hard to find likeminded people.

Glad to find you all, however!
 

Dinocanid

Well-Known Member
I'm panromantic, asexual. I could be in a relationship regardless of gender but I'm not interested in having sex.

(I do still draw and look at Pronz, but when it comes to actual sexual interaction that's a nope from me)
 

Raever

Chaotic Neutral Wreckage

Raever

Chaotic Neutral Wreckage
I'm panromantic, asexual. I could be in a relationship regardless of gender but I'm not interested in having sex.

(I do still draw and look at Pronz, but when it comes to actual sexual interaction that's a nope from me)

If I'm involved with someone who likes reading I'll just write porn for them.
Loop holes baby! ;D
 
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