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Disability & Disabilities (Mk.II)

Punji

Daedric Prince of Secrets
Disability is a rough thing to have to live with, and while it can vary greatly it's always a detriment to a person's quality of life. It is however important for people to realize and understand the unique requirements disability may demand of people, which a little bit of awareness might help with. Unfortunately I know all too well of how difficult it can be for other people to understand what living with a disability can be like.

I am "fortunate" in the nature of my disability being purely physical and not at all apparent to others, so I face relatively little discrimination most of the time. Most of the time. I do get stared at a lot in public on certain occasions, ranging from concern to curiosity and sometimes not so much concern. People give harsh looks when I use a diability parking placard and when I start to limp a bit after walking for a little while. I have been fired from a job because of my disability, I guess me being crippled was too inconvenient for them. That happens a lot, I find, friends and even family being to be burdened by my limitations. My own mother isn't entirely supportive of me at times, she gets annoyed when I complain of my injuries or in the difficulty I have of completing some task. Everyone has their own pool of sympathy and tolerance for others and eventually it wears away.

Another big issue with society's views on the disabled is the concept best described as "the soft bigotry of low-expectations." A lot of good people really do mean well and can offer a lot of support in various ways, but too many more believe disability prevents productivity. I generally won't tell anyone about my disability in real life if at all possible, or unless I really trust them. The same is largely true for online as well, in that I don't speak of it unless it's required or relevant. The people I trust most get the specific name and nature of my disability. So as such, it truly comes as a shock to others when they learn of it. I was once asked by a man if I could walk up stairs. The first time I met him was on the second story of a building without an elevator.

This is a very common and in my opinion significant problem faced by people with disabilities. I'm disabled, not incompetent. Life is much more difficult with a significant disability and mine is admittedly quite severe, but I don't need pandering or pats on the back for doing exactly what everyone else is supposed to be doing. When people work and live around me prior to knowing of my disability their expectations of me are normal, yet when my difficulties come to light a switch is flipped where all the things I was doing before are suddenly out of my reach. This happens time and time again. Some people are really very kind-hearted and do their very best to be supportive, which is great and fantastic, but most people just act like I'm a toddler. I don't need special treatment and I don't need to be taught how to manage my own condition (which literally one person I have ever met knew about before being told it existed and have yet to ever meet someone who can understand exactly what it's like to have). If I need something I can ask for it, if I need to rest I will rest.

It's both demeaning and insulting that suddenly a person should think lesser of me or greater of my mundane "accomplishments" purely on the basis of having a disability. As I've said, it makes life harder. Of course it makes life harder. Life is hard enough for a healthy person, I know that too because a physical disability doesn't stop the rest of what life throws at a person. As I see it my disability is just a cross to bare and that is that. What really irks me most of all is that if I told someone I wasn't straight and they reacted this way it'd be Hell on Earth. Yet this identical response to a disability is not only accepted but common.

Disabled people face a lot of unjust prejudice. Simple understanding of people with disabilities of any kind can make a lot of difference. It can mean a lot to someone to know what their limitations are and not push them beyond what they can comfortably manage. E-hugs to all the furries living with or who have friends and family with disabilities!
 

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
If you're dismissed from a job because of your disability, and the employer didn't make reasonable accommodations for it, then that's illegal in most countries. If you aren't already aware you could have a strong legal case against them.

I'm living with my sister who is physically and mentally disabled at the moment. Part of the reason I've been working out through the coronavirus pandemic is so that pushing her wheelchair will get easier, but ermahgawd that thing weighs a tonne and it hasn't gotten any easier.
 

Jaredthefox92

Banned
Banned
Some famous people I can remember reading about who were classified as disabled included Albert Einstein, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison and Michelangelo.

There we go with the "every aspie is a genius" thing, I think it's about misdiagnosis. They thought I had ADD before they founded I was autistic, but often a lot of people get it confused with savant syndrome and think every genius out there who was a tad anti-social has Asperger's.
 

Nexus Cabler

Conduit of Synergy
There we go with the "every aspie is a genius" thing, I think it's about misdiagnosis. They thought I had ADD before they founded I was autistic, but often a lot of people get it confused with savant syndrome and think every genius out there who was a tad anti-social has Asperger's.
It could be misdiagnoses. I myself wasn't diagnosed until I was 24 and was previously thought to be Bipolar.
 

Jaredthefox92

Banned
Banned
It could be misdiagnoses. I myself wasn't diagnosed until I was 24 and was previously thought to be Bipolar.

I show classic signs of Aspergers, hence why I like Sonic and Warhammer 40,000. But, back then they didn't really understand Aspergers where I lived. I was diagnosed clinically in 2004.
 

Nexus Cabler

Conduit of Synergy
I show classic signs of Aspergers, hence why I like Sonic and Warhammer 40,000. But, back then they didn't really understand Aspergers where I lived. I was diagnosed clinically in 2004.
Never played much of Warhammer, I'm probably missing out. It's become a very popular game.
 

Jaredthefox92

Banned
Banned
Never played much of Warhammer, I'm probably missing out. It's become a very popular game.

It is,l but it is brutal, has a lot of rules, and there's a lot of very picky things you need to concern yourself over while playing. I have Dark Imperium and I have an Ork boxset, but I mostly play on Tabletop Simulator with my other Aspie friends, we often bitch about the rules and it's always a "but my codex says this!" vs "but my codex says that!"
 

Punji

Daedric Prince of Secrets
If you're dismissed from a job because of your disability, and the employer didn't make reasonable accommodations for it, then that's illegal in most countries. If you aren't already aware you could have a strong legal case against them.
Oh it's super illegal here too, no doubt about it.

But how could I ever prove a legal case? It'd just be my word against theirs and the circumstance of the only person being fired just so happens to be the only disabled employee.
 

Nexus Cabler

Conduit of Synergy
It is,l but it is brutal, has a lot of rules, and there's a lot of very picky things you need to concern yourself over while playing. I have Dark Imperium and I have an Ork boxset, but I mostly play on Tabletop Simulator with my other Aspie friends, we often bitch about the rules and it's always a "but my codex says this!" vs "but my codex says that!"
I'm pretty much this way with Borderlands. If someone starts a conversation I get super engaged in it, and can carry on for longer than I usually have the attention for in any more casual interaction such as "what do you do for a living" and "Crazy weather isn't it" (Someone actually started that question with me at a store, when I thought it was a old joke)
 

Jaredthefox92

Banned
Banned
I'm pretty much this way with Borderlands. If someone starts a conversation I get super engaged in it, and can carry on for longer than I usually have the attention for in any more casual interaction such as "what do you do for a living" and "Crazy weather isn't it" (Someone actually started that question with me at a store, when I thought it was a old joke)

Maybe, but it really gets hostile and spicy when we play Gladius, none of us want to lose and we all have to build up huge armies and then clash with an inevitable loser of the fight.
 

Borophagus Metropolis

The last prehistoric floofy woof of FAF
Oh it's super illegal here too, no doubt about it.

But how could I ever prove a legal case? It'd just be my word against theirs and the circumstance of the only person being fired just so happens to be the only disabled employee.

Yup. I have lost many jobs because of my disabilities. In my last state, there was little opportunity for a legal case because an employer may terminate an employee at anytime without giving a reason. It's just not worth the trouble to me. It takes too much negative energy to drag out a dubious legal case for a crappy job. I would rather forgive and forget. Life is too short.
 

DieselPowered

Well-Known Member
I'm currently a full time carer for someone with COPD. It's fairly advanced and it'll keep getting worse. My job is to cook for them, clean for them, and ensure they can still live the fullest life possible until the day i find them dead.

I'm not sure how personal i want to get here, but i understand the sentiment of the OP quite well.

Hopefully this thread will last a bit longer than the first.
 
O

O.D.D.

Guest
Oh it's super illegal here too, no doubt about it.

But how could I ever prove a legal case? It'd just be my word against theirs and the circumstance of the only person being fired just so happens to be the only disabled employee.
That's the thing about laws, they don't STOP anything, they just imply consequences. Combine that with a lot of them being pretty dense reading even for a lawyer and the nature of "burden of proof" sometimes combined with at-will and those cases are really daunting.

The stuff surrounding patient rights for the disabled and disabled minors is also particularly prickly, and I have no idea what could be done about it at this juncture. Criminal cases operate on stricter standards than civil/tort law, too, so... Yeah.
 
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Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
Oh it's super illegal here too, no doubt about it.

But how could I ever prove a legal case? It'd just be my word against theirs and the circumstance of the only person being fired just so happens to be the only disabled employee.

I'm not aware of the circumstances surrounding your termination, so I don't know if there are records such as emails and letters, or whether other employees could testify as witnesses.
In some cases justice departments have proven discriminatory practice in businesses by submitting dummy employment or purchase requests to them. That's how some Hotel chains in New York were shown to be refusing to rent rooms to people based on characteristics like their ethnic background.

It's worth checking whether you have a body of evidence, because you might be able to prevent this happening to somebody else.
 

Miles Marsalis

The Last DJ.
I'm not aware of the circumstances surrounding your termination, so I don't know if there are records such as emails and letters, or whether other employees could testify as witnesses.
In some cases justice departments have proven discriminatory practice in businesses by submitting dummy employment or purchase requests to them. That's how some Hotel chains in New York were shown to be refusing to rent rooms to people based on characteristics like their ethnic background.

It's worth checking whether you have a body of evidence, because you might be able to prevent this happening to somebody else.
I'm not a disability discrimination attorney, but there are definitely attorneys who exclusively handle and specialize in cases regarding discrimination against the disabled, particularly in workplace environments.

If someone feels they have been discriminated against at their workplace through the hiring process, in terms of wages, because of a hostile work environment, and or termination due a disability, they should contact an law firm specializing specifically in disability discrimination after compiling any evidence they have on hand of the discrimination. They'll be able to determine fairly quickly if you have legitimate case or not and payment is not necessary a problem depending on the nature of the case and settlement the attorneys believe they can secure.

It will help your case if you can prove a pattern of discrimination, generally either through other disabled employees that faced discrimination or an employee of the organization willing to testify about its discriminatory practices. The more witnesses, the better the case.

If you're currently working in a organization where you are being discriminated against because of a disability, memorialize incidents and instances where that behavior is happening with your human resources department, if have one, and a supervisor, if possible. Also, it may be helpful to record those interactions in some format, discreetly. You want to have a documented timeline of the pattern of discrimination.

Also, for the Americans here who are in a workplace with 15 employees or more, note that under the Americans with Disabilities Act, an employer can't make employment decisions based on the fact that you are disabled, provided you are qualified for the job.

That's all that comes to mind for me right now, so I'm just going to stop here, lol.
 
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Yakamaru

Yee to the haw
Keep in mind that I can only speak from my own perspective and experiences.
I'm disabled, not incompetent.
Sorry for the quote mine, PunPun. <3

Wanted to emphasize on this part in particular and broaden it "a little".

Having a disability, or disabilities, does not translate into:
- Having less emotional fortitude or capacity
i.e. it does not translate into someone being less emotionally developed and is in need of taking care of on that front by a nanny. How about stop treating those with a disability(or disabilities) like they are less capable emotionally, it's at times rather disturbing how those with nothing to do and a saviour complex think they are doing good(Thine Lord's work™️) by championing causes of which may not just be unwelcome but also have those with a disability to want them to fuck off.

- Being incompetent
Having a disability(or several) does not make them incompetent. Disability does not correspond into one's aptitude when it comes to competence nor does it translate into someone not being able to do something of which any normal person can do. Soft bigotry of low expectations, doing the Lord's work once again.

Hell, depending on the disability it can and will make someone more competent than your average Joe. People with Autism in particular very often have pet peeves, things they focus on a lot. I am no exception to this. This is stupidly useful in the technology, cybersecurity and manufacturing sectors to name the most prominent ones, being able to focus on one thing or a few in particular for hours on end is something someone with Autism could do without much effort. Whenever I work it feels like I barely have time to scratch my own butt before 4 hours have passed.

Channeling that focus can be stupidly useful, for not only the individual but also the work they are doing as well as the firm/company/business they are working for.

Be who you want to be. Be what you want to be. Go where you want to go, and do not let anyone tell you or try to convince you otherwise. And more importantly: Stand on your own two feet and be proud of it. Do not let other people's low expectations of you affect you or your way of thinking. They do not matter if they are going to be dragging you down to begin with.
 

Muttmutt

Absolute Menace
My condition is not classed as a disability despite being an autoimmune disorder. It’s a relatively rare illness so there’s not a lot of advocacy for it. Some people with it successfully gain disability protections but others don’t. It takes a lot of jumping through hoops and money to actually win the case over.

This is in spite of the fact that sufferers such as myself are often in debilitating pain that makes simple tasks and even getting out of bed difficult. Especially those of us such as myself who are un-medicated due to sky high prices for our medications. Hopefully someday it’ll actually get some advocacy and research done on it. For now people like myself just have to take time off where we can’t do our jobs and hope we don’t get fired.

My heart goes out to everyone in this thread. I hope y’all haven’t had too much trouble from unempathetic employers and people.
 

KimberVaile

Self congratulatory title goes here
I'm sorry you have deal with so much crap Punji. At the risk of wearing my heart on my sleeve a bit. It continues to be a wonderful experience Punji, to have the pleasure of knowing you as well as I do. By a great margin, you're more well thought out and sharp than an average person could really hope for. You've got a strong mind and a humble attitude that truly lets you rise above most.

I wish I could contribute in a way to the thread, but my only experience with disability is what those around me face. I can only listen and understand the experiences of those close to me, and try to imagine how it might feel. I've only ever faced sexual discrimination, and I don't think that is comparable to discrimination based on a disability. Regardless, I'm there to listen whenever you may wish to speak of it. I only wish that others may listen to your experiences as well to better understand what you and others like you have to deal with.
 
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Punji

Daedric Prince of Secrets
I'm sorry you have deal with so much crap Punji. At the risk of wearing my heart on my sleeve a bit. It continues to be a wonderful experience Punji, to have the pleasure of knowing you as well as I do. By a great margin, you're more well thought out and sharp than an average person could really hope for. You've got a strong mind and a humble attitude that truly lets you rise above most.

I wish I could contribute in a way to the thread, but my only experience with disability is what those around me face. I can only listen and understand the experiences of those close to me, and try to imagine how it might feel. I've only ever faced sexual discrimination, and I don't think that is comparable to discrimination based on a disability. Regardless, I'm there to listen whenever you may wish to speak of it. I only wish that others may listen to your experiences as well to better understand what you and others like you have to deal with.
Thank you for your awesome heart Kimber. I appreciate how much you're always willing to listen. I wish more people could be as good as you. <3

It is a great pleasure to have you as my friend.

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Yakamaru

Yee to the haw
You two going to be affectionate without me? I feel a tiny bit left out. :V
I'm sorry you have deal with so much crap Punji. At the risk of wearing my heart on my sleeve a bit. It continues to be a wonderful experience Punji, to have the pleasure of knowing you as well as I do. By a great margin, you're more well thought out and sharp than an average person could really hope for. You've got a strong mind and a humble attitude that truly lets you rise above most.

I wish I could contribute in a way to the thread, but my only experience with disability is what those around me face. I can only listen and understand the experiences of those close to me, and try to imagine how it might feel. I've only ever faced sexual discrimination, and I don't think that is comparable to discrimination based on a disability. Regardless, I'm there to listen whenever you may wish to speak of it. I only wish that others may listen to your experiences as well to better understand what you and others like you have to deal with.
Thank you for your awesome heart Kimber. I appreciate how much you're always willing to listen. I wish more people could be as good as you. <3

It is a great pleasure to have you as my friend.

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~Edit~
On a more serious note..

You two are damn good people, and I quite enjoy your company.
 
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