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Does anyone on here like dark humor?


You can't just quote yourself! -Me
"Hello, suicide hotline."
"I've been losing hope lately, it doesn't seem like life's worth living."
"Well, how can I help?"
"I've got a gun to my head, but I just can't pull the trigger. Is there still hope?"
"Yes sir, there is! Simply flip the safety off and you'll be ready-"
"Sir? Sir? Hello?"
"Typical. They never say thank you."


Months ago in the UK, because they failed to meet the child poverty goal, they changed the definition of poverty to cheat their way out.

It wouldn't be the first time politicians fucked children.


The Autistic Otter
A wife continues to repeatedly burn the meals she makes for her husband, who demands a divorce citing the reason as: "at least Hitler could use an oven"


A car full of black guys falls off a cliff into the sea, killing everyone inside.

The white guy who witnessed this starts to cry.

Because he realised he could have fit two more in the boot.


AAAAAAAAAAAAYAAA!!! *beats up his keyboard*
Swinging a ferret in a bag in 20 cycles. X3


Resident Bronze Dragon Kasrkin
How many Jews can you fit in a car?
2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ashtray.

A seal walks into a club. [beat]

Why do Blacks have white palms?
God spray-painted them black when they were on all fours.

Why children in Africa spend more time outdoors than other children?
Because mom doesn't call them for a dinner



Woof? Woof
I dont know why but this made me laugh hysterically!!
Pretty much the media's take on Muslims. Always spin and twist it into being something completely different.


Woof? Woof
So true. As they do everything nowadays.
To quote George Orwell: "In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

And another good one: "Political language. . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind."