Does you feel lonely in the fandom?

[fourur]

Since I joined the fandom, maybe 2, 3 years , i haven't had the chance to go in a convention, because there rare where I am , and on internet , especially on discord , I think many users are on the platforme just to shitposting, jokes and that all.

It's hard to make friends on the internet.

 

[Zrcalo]

99% of the people I'm friends with irl are furries. I would definitely look to see if there's meets in your area. it's really helpful to me. Also furries on facebook are generally more friendly and down to hang out than people not on facebook.

 

[Yakamaru]

I do not feel lonely. I have all my social needs met through the internet.

0% of my friends IRL are Furries, and I intend to keep it that way.

 

[Gronix]

I mean, the range of people that fall under 'furry' is way too broad, so broad in fact that it's not really something that you can use as a sole reason for friendship. There are a *very* lot of furries you don't want to be friends with.

Instead, if you have this in common, look at it as a secondary little thing that connects you two. A bonus.

It's not hard to make friends at all, you just have to look at specific common interests, and where to look. Let that be music, art creation, games, hobbies, anything that you could extensively talk about with someone for example. Don't seek to be friends with people who you can't have a conversation with, or you'll be disappointed and efforts will be wasted.
You'll probably have to take on the initiative though, since people won't flock to you, you'll need to seek out the people yourself.

I don't use mainstream social media at all either, yet I'm all fine.

 

[AppleButt]

I’m a pretty lonely dude in general. I don’t have many friends IRL, and I don’t have any that are in any way furry.

I don’t make friends easily, and even though I went to anthrocon twice, I couldn’t make friends. It’s not easy for me to go strike up a conversation with someone. It’s something I’ve been trying to work on.

I did try striking up conversations on amino before, and I did pretty okay. Like you said though, the majority of the time a chat room was mostly shit posting, and a lot of the people were 13 year olds. I joined one conversation with them and they thought it was the weirdest thing that I was a furry at my age. Like what, really? Okay then.

I’m pretty comfortable with the few friends I have, though. I don’t really need more.

Loneliness has never been a bad feeling for me.

 

[Sunburst_Odell]

Not really. Since I'm so active on this forum, I join in on conversations all the time. I can't say I've really made many friendships within the fandom but I have met some cool non-furries online. I'm more of a "let fate bring me friends" kind of person; I don't seek them out.

 

[Mayflower]

I wouldn't say I feel lonely in the fandom. Can't exactly say I have much connection to many people either. I don't make friends easily, and I don't really try either online. I would probably chat with people on Discord, or participate in roleplays, if I were looking to make friends. I'm not good at either if those, so I just stick to posting a bit on forums.

I like to talk about furry interests through PMs, but I have mixed experience talking to random people, and now avoid contact with people I'm not familiar with.

 

[Rakiya]

I've been around the furry fandom for a similar length of time (A bit over 2 years).
And to be honest I'm not really sure.
On one hand I'd love to meet new people and make some friends...
But on the other hand I've gotten to the point where I don't really care anymore either?

I've had my fair share of shallow interactions with people. ("How's your day been?")
I've had a fair few heated debates where I agree and disagree with certain people.
I've even had an odd creep or two that have gotten way too friendly, way too quickly.
But none of these friendships last long, and even the most promising ones have fizzled out with time.

Guess it just goes to show that people on FA aren't a substitute for real friends xD
I've had no problem with people outside the fandom (non-furs)...
But from what I can tell, it seems people prefer to stick to friends they know in real life around here.

 

[Gronix]

The pointless 'How are you?'s and similar lines make me shiver to this day, I've heard them way too much, ones that have no intent behind them, talking for the sake of talking without anything behind it.
"Hi"
"Hey"
"How are you"
"xyz"
"That's good/That sucks"
--end of conversation--

But no, seriously don't be fooled by the sheer number of bad candidates, it's the same way in real life, you don't click/can become friends with just anyone on the street without sharing something 'important'.
I've had, and have numerous very long lasting great friendships (and relationship still for years) with internet-met people, 4 years ago I've met some really amazing people on this very forum even.

Picking the right people and getting in touch is an art on itself but it's not a hopeless cause the slightest, I started with no experience too.

In fact, me self-learning english and venturing out to the internet with international eyes was the greatest thing I've ever done, I can look for people with similar interests however I want, and with a much, much larger audience from all over the world opposed to the lagging-behind-in-time, shameful country and place I live in.

I have friends of course "real" friends as you would call them, but calling them real is deceiving, since you can meet very real friends on the internet as well.

 

[Aibiki]

Yeah, if only because of how new I am to it.

Maybe the discord chats I joined will help with that. :3

 

[TrishaCat]

Making friends on the internet is the easy part as far as I can tell.
The hard part is having close friendships with irl people in the fandom. Online friendships only go so far, and they aren't a replacement for real human interaction imo. I'm not able to go to conventions either (no car and no license), and I often see people online posting about how they went to a convention together or ran into each other at a convention and it always seemed really cool. I often find myself a tad jelly of such people, as they wind up basically having true irl friendships (or at least something closer than just knowing each other online). I don't have many irl friends I hang out with much, and I have even fewer people I feel I really relate to, so I've always wanted to have an irl friend in the fandom, which is something I have yet to attain. There were a couple furries in the anime club at my college, but they were....weird. Kind, but weird.

 

[Judge Spear]

Not really, no. For one, you wouldnt catch me dead in disguise at a furry convention. I also mever found it particularly difficult (or pressing) to make friends online. Just talk to people about mutual interests in a not creepy fashion.

 

[Amber_Sakura_Wolf]

Since I joined the fandom, maybe 2, 3 years , i haven't had the chance to go in a convention, because there rare where I am , and on internet , especially on discord , I think many users are on the platforme just to shitposting, jokes and that all.

It's hard to make friends on the internet.

I feel you. I have no friends who are furries. If anything some support me for it, but most hate that part of me.

 

[Rakiya]

you don't click/can become friends with just anyone on the street without sharing something 'important'.

Argh, with all due respect... that made me cringe. One of the few things that are worse than a boring conversation is a pity-fest. Literally have had conversations that go.
"Hello"
"Hey"
"I'm sorry if my english isn't good, I have dyslexia and aspergers and my father beats me for it"
It's probably not what you meant when you said "important"... but I've seen so many people that confuse interesting with tragic bullshit stories. Sure, it's the internet. Be whoever you want to be.... I'd just appreciate it if these people stuck to their own circle jerks xD

Making friends on the internet is the easy part as far as I can tell.
The hard part is having close friendships with irl people in the fandom. Online friendships only go so far, and they aren't a replacement for real human interaction imo. I'm not able to go to conventions either (no car and no license), and I often see people online posting about how they went to a convention together or ran into each other at a convention and it always seemed really cool. I often find myself a tad jelly of such people, as they wind up basically having true irl friendships (or at least something closer than just knowing each other online).

I think it's also important to note that people have varying definitions of what a friend is.
For example, I might have 1000 friends on Facebook, but lets face it, at least 80% of those people are either family or one off people you never really talk to.
I will agree though, I do get a tad bit jealous when people talk about conventions; who they met, what they did, and how much fun they had. It's probably the main reason I can't decide whether I fit into the whole lonely category of things. xD

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

Okay, I'll admit I'm a LITTLE lonely right now, but it's really my own fault on that one, since I'd recently ended a relationship with a couple of furries who I initially thought were friends. (Far as I know they don't go here, but I'm not saying any more about this in the open.) Still getting over that.

Beyond that, however? I don't exactly make a lot of friends as it is, either IRL or online. I could go into details, but suffice to say the area where I live isn't very conducive to meeting people in general, let alone other furries. (And conventions for anything basically require plane travel.) On the online side, I just don't actively seek out friendships and in the past it's generally taken me 1-2 YEARS of knowing someone before I could even hold a conversation outside the first common interest. I think I've improved there but haven't had much chance to really try it.

I used to be much bigger on forums as a way of communicating with people, but all my previous ones had a much more narrow focus. With a topic as broad as "furry"... it might take me a while before I really interact much.

 

[Filter]

Although lonely may not be the best word to describe it, I often feel alone in the fandom. I'm older, straighter, and less of a drama llama than the average fur. I just kind of do my own thing, enjoying the art, the costuming, and the other creative elements. On the rare occasion that I hang out with furries IRL, they're usually artists.

The pointless 'How are you?'s and similar lines make me shiver to this day, I've heard them way too much, ones that have no intent behind them, talking for the sake of talking without anything behind it.
"Hi"
"Hey"
"How are you"
"xyz"
"That's good/That sucks"
--end of conversation--

99.9% of my conversations on Second Life, lol.

 

[Gronix]

Although lonely may not be the best word to describe it, I often feel alone in the fandom. I'm older, straighter, and less of a drama llama than the average fur. I just kind of do my own thing, enjoying the art, the costuming, and the other creative elements. On the rare occasion that I hang out with furries IRL, they're usually artists.

I misread costuming for 'consuming', got a little confused there.

 

[zenmaldita]

timezone difference can really make me feel lonely sometimes...that's why I drown myself in art commission work until my friends go online (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
as for IRL, I've got tons of IRL furry friends - I suppose, that's what you get for studying animation in college ^^"

anyways~ I've only joined the fandom about a month ago and have pretty much settled in. Being open and chatty helps.
It's relatively easy in a forum where the topic is already out there for you to just reply to. There's also the RP we're doing - it's a fun way to interact specially since we can post our OOC comments as well. It feels like we're all discussing a Soap Opera we're watching lol
Maybe you'd wanna give that a try, @fourur ? We'll be happy to have you!

 

[BahgDaddy]

Not really, no. For one, you wouldnt catch me dead in disguise at a furry convention. I also mever fpund it particularly difficult (or pressing) to make friends online. Just talk to people about mutual interests in a not creepy fashion.

Hi therrrrrre *talks to you in a creepy fashion* how you doing

 

[GarthTheWereWolf]

Nope not lonely. Some of my favorite people I’ve met through the fandom. <:

 

[Judge Spear]

Hi therrrrrre *talks to you in a creepy fashion* how you doing

I dunno...I guess this was supposed to resemble a joke?

 

[Deleted member 111470]

Yeah, sometimes I wish I talked to more people.

 

[Uncle Jackalope]

I would definitely say I feel lonely in the fandom. I am on many discord furry servers, but a few problems I have run in to is the immaturity of many members. I often find that the members I meet on discord are either trying to get everyone to pity them and it's hard to hold a conversation without them bringing up their problems or these members are so focused on "meme culture" that every second message is a meme, etc. Which can also be hard to have a reasonable conversation with.

 

[Crimcyan]

I don't feel lonely in this fandom, but at times I do feel like I am overcrowded.

I don't care to have irl friend's who are furries, but if I meet someone then find out they are a furry thats fine. But im not going to go out and search solely for are furries to make friends with.

 

[Astus]

I feel less lonely in the Fandom than not, mainly I'd say because there are people who I don't necessarily need to hide things from here and I can be more of myself. However I, like many others (it seems by looking at other posts), do find it hard to actually make friends and keep them to the point where it's not like

"Hi"
"Hey"
"How are you"
"xyz"
"That's good/That sucks"
--end of conversation--

It ties into the other thread about social anxiety, finding people who you are comfortable with and being able to keep them can just be a chore for someone who's brain is not trusting or misinterpreting things. Which in turn makes you not want to start conversations, can make the other person think you're not interested in talking, or will just prevent conversation from happening in the first place. However I've had some success in the Fandom overall and I've somewhat been getting better online... so it's not entirely lonely, just sort of because of personal reasons ;p