DON'T READ, DEAD THREAD:I'm worried for the worst........

[Koriekraiz13]

I don't know how to put this, I see the fandom as a place I can finally boost my social life, but im afraid when im finally able to go to a convention I would ruin my chances and just by anti-social.... I don't want to live a life without friends,..... can anybody help?

 

[Ringo the Wolf]

Same there... *cries*

 

[Koriekraiz13]

This is no joke.....

 

[Ringo the Wolf]

This is real...

 

[Vamux]

Dude, you're worrying over nothing. Take things at your own pace and don't rush into anything you're not completely prepared for and you'll come out fine.

 

[Koriekraiz13]

My paranoia has been ruling over my life, i have been bullied for petti little things for months , i have had suicide on my mind since 12......

 

[Render]

My paranoia has been ruling over my life, i have been bullied for petti little things...

Embrace the fandom, we're all oddballs and we're all here for you. The most terrifying thing you'll ever do is go to a con. It'll also be the most amazing thing you'll ever experience, I can promise you that.

Majira has spoken several times about his paranoia, being bullied, his first con, how it changed his life... Go follow the big fruity boi, dig some vids, have some laughs. Don't take things to seriously, that's the secret.

 

[Koriekraiz13]

I have watched videos about betas and zillions first con, and I still wonder which convention to go to first, I imagine confuzzled, because it's "close" to where I am, unlike ane, ac, blfc, nfc, mff and many others, (also they are more expensive than Christmas) and if I had enough, I would have to book 6 months ahead, from the popularity and people knowing that majira and other "popufurs" will be there,

 

[CertifiedCervine]

You could always give small furmeets a try. Try searching
Furry meetups Indiana(Or wherever your area of residence is)
These meets are usually a good step ladder to progressing up to a convention, and activities are usually very affordable!

 

[Joni]

I don't know how to put this, I see the fandom as a place I can finally boost my social life, but im afraid when im finally able to go to a convention I would ruin my chances and just by anti-social.... I don't want to live a life without friends,..... can anybody help?

I would recommend LPW. It's a nice place to talk freely and for getting friends^w^
forums.furaffinity.net: Last post wins - Last post wins a mystery prize from staff!
Oh wait, you mean with going to a convention. Well having good conversations online helps aswell^w^ And maybe you even find people close by.

 

[Tyno]

If you do "ruin your chances" you can always come back with a new face or just join another group of furries. From what i've seen you're fine by me.

 

[Glossolalia]

Improving social skills, decreasing anxiety and building a circle of friends are all gradual processes that don't happen overnight. They take a lot of effort, spaced out regularly over long periods of time. It can be discouraging when you're feeling the pain of loneliness and need the results sooner, but it also takes the pressure off. There's no such thing as "ruining your chances". If a social event doesn't go well, try again later. And then again, and again.

I've found it's best to start small and build up your comfort level. If you currently have trouble making friends, there's a good chance that it will be just as hard or harder in an unfamiliar environment like a con (of course, there's also a chance it will be easier around people you share a common interest with, but it's important to be realistic with your expectations). Try to just treat the con as a chance to take part in something you enjoy, with making new friends as an added bonus.

 

[Marius Merganser]

I don't know how to put this, I see the fandom as a place I can finally boost my social life, but im afraid when im finally able to go to a convention I would ruin my chances and just by anti-social.... I don't want to live a life without friends,..... can anybody help?

There are many of us in the same boat.
I'd love to go to a con, but I have no one to go with and I'm quiet introverted in person (there's also anxiety about big crowds and travel, too)0. I did try a local meetup and that was pretty fun. I would expect the smaller, local meetups would be better suited (no pun intended) for friendship forming, anyway.

 

[Ringo the Wolf]

Furry cons is literally in my dreams.

 

[LeFay]

Well as someone who has literally only had 1 friend his whole life here's what I can tell you. It is very lonely and I feel you on that brother. I think a lot of us come to the fandom seeking meaningful relationships with other people. But man look, if people vibe with you they vibe with you and if you've been able to make a lot of friends through this fandom I'm doubtful they are just going to up and leave you once they meet you. What you have to do is overcome yourself and push past your limits. You have to change yourself internally and how you view people because you don't want to be alone forever. My heart breaks for you man. Look if you need someone to talk to i'm here for you brother but don't worry, you seem like a cool dude I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 

[Ghostbird]

You're in high school yes? Your life will get better, after high school, what happened there will not matter to anyone. Just be calm and have some fun with life. Don't try to get people to like you by changing who you are and trying to be outgoing. Just be yourself, the world is full of awkward and shy people.

 

[Frank Gulotta]

Well a thread like this could be a nice start, it can help you find similar people and perhaps you could go to an event and be awkward together there.

 

[Willow]

I have watched videos about betas and zillions first con, and I still wonder which convention to go to first, I imagine confuzzled, because it's "close" to where I am, unlike ane, ac, blfc, nfc, mff and many others, (also they are more expensive than Christmas) and if I had enough, I would have to book 6 months ahead, from the popularity and people knowing that majira and other "popufurs" will be there,

honestly no one really goes to a con because their favourite furry personality is going to be there, especially since the likelihood that you'll even run into or get to hang out with them are pretty low. people go to conventions because they want to see their friends or make new ones

 

[Koriekraiz13]

honestly no one really goes to a con because their favourite furry personality is going to be there, especially since the likelihood that you'll even run into or get to hang out with them are pretty low. people go to conventions because they want to see their friends or make new ones

Good point....

 

[Lyrule]

I know what you mean my guy. I've come to realize that you can't please everyone. I wouldn't worry about it too much, you will make friends. Take your time and go at your own pace. I believe. *insert thumbs up emoji here*

 

[Koriekraiz13]

Thank you, everyone, I had doubts about my life choices but now I have some hope in life, I am glad i chose to talk about this, I am happy for the years to come and after, thank you.

 

[MalibuCat]

Hey there, you're going to be alright. I remember my classmates were all jerks - they didn't "get it". They never will, and they don't have to. Not everyone has to understand you - once I realized that, I felt so free. Being "me" is what allowed me to flourish creatively throughout high school. Then, when I graduated high school, I went to art college - and WOW, it was so amazing! Suddenly, I wasn't the weird one anymore! Guess what, everyone in art school is WEIRD! It's what makes us, well...us! I went from having not many friends in high school, to suddenly a ton of friends in college, because I had finally found my people. You will too! I think you may have a similar experience to this at the convention - and if you don't, that's ok! You'll try at the next one!
After I graduated college, I went on to work in animation. And guess what - everyone here is pretty weird too! We talk about cartoons every day, at work and off work! And many of us are furries. What I'm saying is, life gets pretty cool a few years later when you've found your "group"!

It's gonna get so much better for you. Trust me. When you're a little older, you're gonna look back on your early teen years and realize how cool (and I can tell you're very original!) you actually were. Everyone else who bullied you was just suffering from insecurity. Please remember this. You are awesome, and life's a journey - you can work through your anxieties. You got this!

 

[MaelstromEyre]

Don't try to force yourself into situations where you are uncomfortable, especially if you are going in alone. Many in the fandom are introverts, or anxious in social gatherings, because I think a lot of us were laughed at and teased for being "oddballs" as kids.
Don't sweat it. Start small. Find out about meetups close to where you are, maybe find a Telegram or Discord group of local furries and see if they have smaller gatherings where you can get to know people.

 

[Wabbajax]

I think a lot of us were laughed at and teased for being "oddballs" as kids.

Hekk, I still get teased for being an oddball! I've just learned to handle it better. Sometimes...