dumb, crazy and funny state laws.

[Wolf-Bone]

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I have a feeling some of these are still in place.

Some ontario laws:

~In Ottawa, its illegal to eat icecream on Bank St. on a Sunday.​

~In Toronto, you can't drag a dead horse down Yonge on a Sunday.​

~ In Etobicoke bylaws states that no more than 3.5 inches of water is allowed in a bathtub.​

~In Kanata the color of house and garage doors is regulated by city bylaws (a purple door get you a fine). It is also illegal to have a clothes line in your backyard.​

~In London it is against city by-law to allow the grass in your front lawn to grow taller than 1-1/2 inches. If it does, the city will mow it for you, and fine you $200​

~In Uxbridge residents are not allowed to have an Internet connection faster than 56k


And some national laws:

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~Every fifth song on Canadian radio must be by a Canadian born citizen.​

~You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies.​

~Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.​

~It is illegal for non-dark sodas to contain caffeine.​

~No one in Canada may watch or listen to an encrypted broadcast which is not licensed by the Canadian government. This means using US satellite systems such as "DirecTV" is illegal.​

~It is illegal to pretend to practice witchcraft​

~Comic books which depict any illegal acts are banned.​

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You know that explosion that happened in Toronto recently? Yeah, fuck you if you think telekenesis is hocus pocus. I prayed for something like that to happen.

 

[Shark_the_raptor]

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~In London it is against city by-law to allow the grass in your front lawn to grow taller than 1-1/2 inches. If it does, the city will mow it for you, and fine you $200​

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I know where I'm moving to when I win the lottery. That's what I call service.

 

[Irreverent]

No one in Canada may watch or listen to an encrypted broadcast which is not licensed by the Canadian government. This means using US satellite systems such as "DirecTV" is illegal.

:shock: Wow, didn't expect to see that here. I actually had a very small part in that one.

 

[Thatch]

:shock: Wow, didn't expect to see that here. I actually had a very small part in that one.

You had a hand in making american satellite TV illegal in Canada? DUDE XD

 

[CAThulu]

You had a hand in making american satellite TV illegal in Canada? DUDE XD

No kidding. Hats off to you, my dear *L*

 

[CAThulu]

I know where I'm moving to when I win the lottery. That's what I call service.

I live in london...in an apartment. Sadly, I cannot partake of this sweet service .


Personally, I want to see how they enforce the Etobicoke bylaw of 3.5 inches of water in a bathtub.

 

[Irreverent]

You had a hand in making american satellite TV illegal in Canada? DUDE XD

Its not illegal, you just have to watch it on Bev or Starchoice.

No kidding. Hats off to you, my dear *L*

Well, it was a very small operations part. I wrote some whitepapers and architectural documents that went to Reglatory as part of a larger submission from my company. And it wasn't just us, the US networks were in on it too. It was a job, and it paid the bills. Its been a long time since Sky-dish morphed into ExpressVu and now "Bell TV." Preservation of intellectual capital is a game of cat and mouse, I like (and still like) the challenge. Whether I'm wearing a "black hat" or a "white hat." And sometimes both.

Getting back on topic, probably the stupidest law of all is the CRTC ruling that says that Telco/USP/Sat incumbents can't compete in open markets until they have lost 25% or more of their market share in that market. Its like they outlawed customer service; but only for the biggest company. *shakes head* If a customer wants to leave, we can't even talk to them for 90 days. Might be 60 now. Of course, the average customer doesn't know this, they think we just don't care.

 

[Sam]

In my neck of the woods ( desert ) it's illegal to have those license plate covers covering the state name on it. It's weird, but I had to take mine off, mine was just the dealer thing. It's a 250$ fine or something like that.

 

[Mayfurr]

CALIFORNIA:
-Chico: Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine. (LOLOLOL)

That... kinda falls under the same category of prosecuting someone for suicide (as opposed to attempted suicide).

I mean, who at city hall is going to be around to prosecute the offender afterwards when the city's been turned into a glass parking lot?

And only $500? Can I pay in advance?

 

[bozzles]

In Georgia, it's illegal to buy liquor on Sunday.

 

[Ikrit]

In Louisiana

“Fake” wrestling matches are prohibited.
Spectators at a boxing match may not mock one of the contestants.
One could possibly land in jail for 20 years upon urinating in the city’s water supply.
A law was passed with the specific intent of stating the punishment for stealing crawfish.
Persons could land in jail for up to ten years for stealing an alligator.
It is a $500 fine to instruct a pizza delivery man to deliver a pizza to your friend without them knowing.
Running an abortion advertisement can land you in jail for a year.
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault.
It is illegal to gargle in public places.
It is illegal to shoot lasers at police officers.
One may not “dare” another to go onto railroad tracks owned by another.
Rituals that involve the ingestion of blood, urine, or fecal matter are not allowed.
One could land in jail for up to a year for making a false promise.
Every time a person is seriously burned, he must report the injury to the fire marshal.
Prisoners who hurt themselves could serve an additional two years in jail.
In New Orleans, If you witness a monkey robbing an old person on any odd numbered street you are allowed to go to the closest gas station and fill up for free

 

[citra_moves]

i once heard of a law where you can't tie your alligators to fire hydrants in Tennasee

 

[Nargle]

Not funny, but definitely dumb and crazy, and a little enraging as well:

I recently discovered that there are pretty much no laws against animal cruelty in Texas >=( I can't wait to get the hell out of here.

 

[CAThulu]

If a customer wants to leave, we can't even talk to them for 90 days. Might be 60 now. Of course, the average customer doesn't know this, they think we just don't care.

Huh. That...actually explains alot O_O. Kind of retarded though, if you want repeat business. Why would the company do that? There are people that have to leave due to financial reasons sometimes, and being snubbed for 60-90 days is only going to drive them to the competition when they get the money again to use the services regularly.

 

[Irreverent]

Huh. That...actually explains alot O_O. Kind of retarded though, if you want repeat business. Why would the company do that? There are people that have to leave due to financial reasons sometimes, and being snubbed for 60-90 days is only going to drive them to the competition when they get the money again to use the services regularly.

Yep. The CRTC's answer to promoting competition is "win back" regulations that prevents the incumbent from courting customers that are trying to leave or have left. For at least 90 days, but by that time, the irate customer is usually in another long term plan with another competitor. Crazy, eh?

 

[CAThulu]

Ugh...that makes my head hurt. Retail business would fail under those guidelines. The fun part is if that customer leaves Service One (S1) and joins Service Two (S2), only to leave that one in a few years...they'd feel compelled to go back to S1 if S2 'snubbs' them as well. Or just give up that service entirely.

 

[Irreverent]

Ugh...that makes my head hurt. Retail business would fail under those guidelines. The fun part is if that customer leaves Service One (S1) and joins Service Two (S2), only to leave that one in a few years...they'd feel compelled to go back to S1 if S2 'snubbs' them as well. Or just give up that service entirely.

Yeah, this is starting to happen in my sector. After you get angry at the 4 providers, where to you go next? We call it churn, and there are industry metrics for it. IE lowest churn in a segment is the provider pissing off their client base the least. Gov't bureaucracy at its best.

 

[CAThulu]

If they have a name and industry metrics for it, why not abandon the practise?

Oh yeah...its' the governmet. Heh...ask a stupid question.

 

[Tycho]

The ABSENCE of certain laws is what puzzles me, sometimes...