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I had an idea for a naga TF story that would take place over fifteen days.
The idea is that our main character, Daryn, is kidnapped by a demon known as the watersnake king. (In this story, nagas are called "watersnakes" because it sounds cooler.)
The watersnake king tells Daryn that he will play a game. If he wins, he can leave the swamp. If not, he will be turned into a watersnake and serve the watersnake king forever.
Daryn spends most of the story combatting his transformation as it gradually gets the better of him while trying to complete the watersnake king's challenges.
I think that this would provide an interesting story where our main character must rely on his own wits to survive while trying to work with an ever-growing problem. We have the opportunity to watch Daryn get out of some truly perilous situations, and the transformation itself provides rising stakes.
Alright, this is the stuff that I've written down in my story outline, including details on the watersnake king's game and the introduction to the story:
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Watersnake's Swamp Story Outline
The Watersnake's Swamp is a fifteen-part TF story where an adventurer has to win a brutal game in order to reverse his transformation, or be stuck with it forever.
Our main character is Daryn. He's an adventurer who is confident and skilled, but a little prideful and overconfident at times.
Daryn is trapped by a demon known as “The Watersnake King”. The watersnake king is in control of an army of watersnakes (which are nagas, “watersnake” sounds cooler.) who control the swamp. The king expands his army by transforming humans into watersnakes for losing his games. The king likes watching the humans he captures try to win his impossible games, only to lose and be added to his army. The exact game varies from person to person.
The king offers Daryn the option to play his game, and Daryn takes it. If he wins, Daryn is let out of the swamp and given a reward of his choice. If he loses, Daryn is turned into a watersnake and is forced to work for the king forever.
The king throws Daryn into a small room and tells him the game will begin tomorrow. He does not know what the rules of the game are yet.
The next day, the king leads Daryn to a remote part of the swamp, and hands him a green amulet, a scroll, and a potion. He explains that the game will begin when Daryn puts on the amulet. The king then slithers away into the thick swamp mist.
Daryn puts on the amulet, and a glowing fluid starts glowing from inside the amulet.
He then opens the scroll. The scroll is written in a script he cannot possibly understand, except for a footnote reading You may read this when you have acquired a watersnake's eyes. (When? What do you mean when?)
Having no idea what to do, Daryn decides his top priority should be to survive. He finds a place to sleep, lights a fire, and goes out hunting.
Daryn finds some critters nearby and kills one for meat. Suddenly, Daryn starts experiencing vision problems. He starts hallucinating, his vision blurs, the colors start to change, etc. The drastic changes leave him blind for ten minutes while he waits for it to stop.
The vision problems eventually stop and he sees the world differently now. His central vision is now ridiculously sharp, but his peripheral vision is now so blurry that it's useless.
He knows that something is up, so he checks the scroll again, and to his surprise, he can read it! The footnote at the bottom is now unreadable as a result, though. The first line of text reads RULES.
The Rules
This is what the king's scroll read:
1)
You will be transformed into a watersnake over the course of two weeks.
The transformation is both physical and mental. You may experience pain and discomfort as your old body melts away. In the event that it becomes too painful, you may use the potion to ease the pain.
The amulet you are now wearing is responsible for your transformation. It is advised that you do not take it off.
The green fluid within the amulet is a timer showing how much time is left before the transformation is complete.
In the event that the transformation is fully completed, you have lost the game. You will submit to the watersnake king and work for him for all eternity.
If you can read this, the first stage of transformation is already complete. You have acquired a watersnake's predatory eyes. You will find your new pair of eyes preferable to your old eyes during the challenge, as they will aid you with your journey.
2)
In order to reverse your transformation and win the game, you must retrieve four stones hidden throughout the forest and return them to a statue in the swamp's center.
Each stone is securely kept behind a trial. A trial may not be attempted twice. Failure to pass a trial will result in an instant loss of the game. You will be turned into a watersnake and submit to the watersnake king.
In the event that a stone is returned to the swamp's center, the transformation will reversed by one day.
In the event that all four stones are returned to the center, you will have won the game. The transformation would then be fully reversed, and you would be permitted to remove the amulet and claim a reward of your choosing.
3)
The following actions are prohibited.
If the amulet is not around your neck, the amulet will speed up the transformation until you put it back on.
Attempting to leave the swamp will result in the transformation being advanced by one day and you being brought back into the swamp.
In the event that you die for any reason, the amulet will fully complete the transformation and keep you from dying. This yields an instant loss of the game.
The murder of any living creature within the swamp will result in the transformation being advanced one day and confiscation of the meat. (This explains Daryn's vision problems)
Cursing at the swamp, the watersnakes, or the watersnake king will result in the transformation being advanced one day.
Deliberate disrespect to the swamp will result in the transformation being advanced one day.
You will encounter other watersnakes along the journey. Harassment of any watersnake will result in a full completion of the transformation and an instant loss of the game.
In the event that your head is underwater, the transformation will speed up until your head is above water.
4)
Your newly gifted eyes will allow you to locate the swamp's center. This is your first goal. The statue will allow you to find the stones' trials.
The game truly begins now.
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If you've read all the way here, thank you.
So, what do you think?
The idea is that our main character, Daryn, is kidnapped by a demon known as the watersnake king. (In this story, nagas are called "watersnakes" because it sounds cooler.)
The watersnake king tells Daryn that he will play a game. If he wins, he can leave the swamp. If not, he will be turned into a watersnake and serve the watersnake king forever.
Daryn spends most of the story combatting his transformation as it gradually gets the better of him while trying to complete the watersnake king's challenges.
I think that this would provide an interesting story where our main character must rely on his own wits to survive while trying to work with an ever-growing problem. We have the opportunity to watch Daryn get out of some truly perilous situations, and the transformation itself provides rising stakes.
Alright, this is the stuff that I've written down in my story outline, including details on the watersnake king's game and the introduction to the story:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Watersnake's Swamp Story Outline
The Watersnake's Swamp is a fifteen-part TF story where an adventurer has to win a brutal game in order to reverse his transformation, or be stuck with it forever.
Our main character is Daryn. He's an adventurer who is confident and skilled, but a little prideful and overconfident at times.
Daryn is trapped by a demon known as “The Watersnake King”. The watersnake king is in control of an army of watersnakes (which are nagas, “watersnake” sounds cooler.) who control the swamp. The king expands his army by transforming humans into watersnakes for losing his games. The king likes watching the humans he captures try to win his impossible games, only to lose and be added to his army. The exact game varies from person to person.
The king offers Daryn the option to play his game, and Daryn takes it. If he wins, Daryn is let out of the swamp and given a reward of his choice. If he loses, Daryn is turned into a watersnake and is forced to work for the king forever.
The king throws Daryn into a small room and tells him the game will begin tomorrow. He does not know what the rules of the game are yet.
The next day, the king leads Daryn to a remote part of the swamp, and hands him a green amulet, a scroll, and a potion. He explains that the game will begin when Daryn puts on the amulet. The king then slithers away into the thick swamp mist.
Daryn puts on the amulet, and a glowing fluid starts glowing from inside the amulet.
He then opens the scroll. The scroll is written in a script he cannot possibly understand, except for a footnote reading You may read this when you have acquired a watersnake's eyes. (When? What do you mean when?)
Having no idea what to do, Daryn decides his top priority should be to survive. He finds a place to sleep, lights a fire, and goes out hunting.
Daryn finds some critters nearby and kills one for meat. Suddenly, Daryn starts experiencing vision problems. He starts hallucinating, his vision blurs, the colors start to change, etc. The drastic changes leave him blind for ten minutes while he waits for it to stop.
The vision problems eventually stop and he sees the world differently now. His central vision is now ridiculously sharp, but his peripheral vision is now so blurry that it's useless.
He knows that something is up, so he checks the scroll again, and to his surprise, he can read it! The footnote at the bottom is now unreadable as a result, though. The first line of text reads RULES.
The Rules
This is what the king's scroll read:
1)
You will be transformed into a watersnake over the course of two weeks.
The transformation is both physical and mental. You may experience pain and discomfort as your old body melts away. In the event that it becomes too painful, you may use the potion to ease the pain.
The amulet you are now wearing is responsible for your transformation. It is advised that you do not take it off.
The green fluid within the amulet is a timer showing how much time is left before the transformation is complete.
In the event that the transformation is fully completed, you have lost the game. You will submit to the watersnake king and work for him for all eternity.
If you can read this, the first stage of transformation is already complete. You have acquired a watersnake's predatory eyes. You will find your new pair of eyes preferable to your old eyes during the challenge, as they will aid you with your journey.
2)
In order to reverse your transformation and win the game, you must retrieve four stones hidden throughout the forest and return them to a statue in the swamp's center.
Each stone is securely kept behind a trial. A trial may not be attempted twice. Failure to pass a trial will result in an instant loss of the game. You will be turned into a watersnake and submit to the watersnake king.
In the event that a stone is returned to the swamp's center, the transformation will reversed by one day.
In the event that all four stones are returned to the center, you will have won the game. The transformation would then be fully reversed, and you would be permitted to remove the amulet and claim a reward of your choosing.
3)
The following actions are prohibited.
If the amulet is not around your neck, the amulet will speed up the transformation until you put it back on.
Attempting to leave the swamp will result in the transformation being advanced by one day and you being brought back into the swamp.
In the event that you die for any reason, the amulet will fully complete the transformation and keep you from dying. This yields an instant loss of the game.
The murder of any living creature within the swamp will result in the transformation being advanced one day and confiscation of the meat. (This explains Daryn's vision problems)
Cursing at the swamp, the watersnakes, or the watersnake king will result in the transformation being advanced one day.
Deliberate disrespect to the swamp will result in the transformation being advanced one day.
You will encounter other watersnakes along the journey. Harassment of any watersnake will result in a full completion of the transformation and an instant loss of the game.
In the event that your head is underwater, the transformation will speed up until your head is above water.
4)
Your newly gifted eyes will allow you to locate the swamp's center. This is your first goal. The statue will allow you to find the stones' trials.
The game truly begins now.
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If you've read all the way here, thank you.
So, what do you think?