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Critique: First attempt at writing something.

TR273

Back to being Mom Fox
Ok I attempted to write something.
It’s a short (less than 700 words) humour story to provide a bit of context to a commission I had done since it was a little different to what I normally post.
I don’t really write much so any tips, advice and critique will be appreciated.
The story can be found here:
www.furaffinity.net: Things that go bump in the night. by TR273
 
D

Domjoe414

Guest
Nice Job! I especially liked the cliffhanger ending :D
The only critique I'd really have is to try not to use the same word, especially a pronoun, to start multiple sentences in a row. but that's a pretty easy fix, just change up your sentence structure a bit!
anyway thanks for posting it! it was a quick fun read!
 

TR273

Back to being Mom Fox
Nice Job! I especially liked the cliffhanger ending :D
The only critique I'd really have is to try not to use the same word, especially a pronoun, to start multiple sentences in a row. but that's a pretty easy fix, just change up your sentence structure a bit!
anyway thanks for posting it! it was a quick fun read!
Thanks!
(I just noticed I forgot to watch my own thread and only saw your comment by chance. :oops:)
 
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