Crazyman1
Blue bunny from outer space
Hello folks, long time no see.
For months, I have been re wiring a story of mine, turning it from an episodic format to something more akin to a novel.
Thing is, I don't have a lot of money, so if there is anyone here with free time, I appreciate it.
So here is the project:
This is a series called the Teknabunnies, it's a science fiction/action series set on an alien world entirely populated by rabbits.
For the first few chapters I will be setting up the universe, the characters and the premise and about four chapters in the story starts to kick off.
I did post this project on FA before, but now I am actually trying to novelize it and treat it like a real story.
Thing is, I am more used to short stories, so I need critique and feedback.
I have the first two chapters complete, and I am working on a third.
I feel the first two chapters are close enough, but I do want a second pair of eyes so to speak, to give me feedback and whatnot.
Anyhow, here are the first two chapters on google docs:
docs.google.com
docs.google.com
I eagerly await any possible replies, do note I'm aware of a few possible punctuation issues but will fix those later.
I just want some general feedback.
For months, I have been re wiring a story of mine, turning it from an episodic format to something more akin to a novel.
Thing is, I don't have a lot of money, so if there is anyone here with free time, I appreciate it.
So here is the project:
This is a series called the Teknabunnies, it's a science fiction/action series set on an alien world entirely populated by rabbits.
For the first few chapters I will be setting up the universe, the characters and the premise and about four chapters in the story starts to kick off.
I did post this project on FA before, but now I am actually trying to novelize it and treat it like a real story.
Thing is, I am more used to short stories, so I need critique and feedback.
I have the first two chapters complete, and I am working on a third.
I feel the first two chapters are close enough, but I do want a second pair of eyes so to speak, to give me feedback and whatnot.
Anyhow, here are the first two chapters on google docs:
Nudraft 1
The past is a relentless phantom. Like other Kossikans, I fled our war-torn homeland to start anew. But it seems no matter where I go, the past can’t leave us be. Confound those blasted Red Stars, can’t they leave us in peace?! Nyssa, Perri… Sometimes I wish I died with you. Still, I push forward...
docs.google.com
Nudraft 2
For the glory of Kossik, I press forward. In the regime’s name, I will fight. I must not feel pain, nor fear. Nothing else matters except victory! — Motto of Yeltsik Rabbinitski Chapter Two: The Red Stars and the Legionaries Newton said for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reacti...
docs.google.com
I eagerly await any possible replies, do note I'm aware of a few possible punctuation issues but will fix those later.
I just want some general feedback.