Game: bad genies

[GroovySpaceFox]

Granted, but no matter how long you try, your food never gets fully cooked.

I wish I had an old computer from the '70s.

 

[Ravofox]

Granted! Here's one that was around in the 70s...the 1870s

I wish that Birnam Wood would come to Dunsinane!

 

[Faustus]

Granted! Dunsinane wins 7-nil and ruins your pools bet with Leon MacDuff.

I wish for Cthulhu to awaken! F'tagn!

 

[metatherat]

Granted! Cthulhu awakens, but boy is he pissed. This was his only day off this week from his job as an insurance clerk and he wanted to sleep late.

I wish my coffee maker wasn't falling apart.

 

[Simo]

Granted! You now have a costly new coffee maker; however @Skittles now rules your land, and has, of course, banned coffee.

I wish I had a stylish and comfy sofa.

 

[Foxy Emy]

Granted! You now have a costly new coffee maker; however @Skittles now rules your land, and has, of course, banned coffee.

I wish I had a stylish and comfy sofa.

Granted! You have one stylish sofa and one comfy sofa! That is right! You have two sofas!

Sadly... You don't have room for both so one of them has to go in storage.

I wish to buy Savings Skunk.

 

[Faustus]

I have no idea what that means, so I asked transformer:

"I wish to buy Savings Skunk," said Emyrelda.

"Granted!" cried the evil genie, and in a moment, all was clear in the place. "If you are truly a savings agent of mine , you may buy my precious little Skunk." "Oh, no !" said Emy relda. "I am not a savings agent! I am a woman of great wealth and good taste !" The evil gen ie was delighted , for he had found a perfect instrument. He took her into the store room , and made her enter the storeroom, where he took out some bottles and jars of various colored liquids and poured them over her. She became a very smelly skunk.

Oh, I guess Transformer gets the next wish too, so:

I wish for this year to have a little more time for myself.

 

[Ravofox]

I have no idea what that means, so I asked transformer:

"I wish to buy Savings Skunk," said Emyrelda.

"Granted!" cried the evil genie, and in a moment, all was clear in the place. "If you are truly a savings agent of mine , you may buy my precious little Skunk." "Oh, no !" said Emy relda. "I am not a savings agent! I am a woman of great wealth and good taste !" The evil gen ie was delighted , for he had found a perfect instrument. He took her into the store room , and made her enter the storeroom, where he took out some bottles and jars of various colored liquids and poured them over her. She became a very smelly skunk.

Oh, I guess Transformer gets the next wish too, so:

I wish for this year to have a little more time for myself.

(Yep, that's what I expected XD)

Granted, nobody asks Transformer questions anymore (poor lonely transformer )

I wish that I had a doughnut.

 

[Keefur]

Wish granted. You HAD a donut.... because I eated it.

I wish I owned a donut shop.

 

[Simo]

Granted! But the only employees you can find are mischievous foxes, who goof around all the time, and use all the donuts to play ring-toss.

I wish I got paid big money to take naps.

 

[zandelux]

Granted! You become the world's first professional napper. Unfortunately people want to film you doing it, and a crowded set with bright lights is not the best place to take a nap. Due to your performance anxiety, you can't actually fall asleep, and you quit your job after a few days.

I wish I could stay up for several more hours working on my fursona, instead of it cutting into my sleep time.

 

[Yakamaru]

Granted, but the time it takes to work on your fursona have increased by 100 times.

I wish for a plain old button.

 

[Faustus]

Granted! But pressing the button got you banned. Oh dear.

I wish for a kinder, more loving world.

 

[Halligan322]

Granted, it’s too friendly and now everyone is bored. (Lame I know lol)

I wish for a new hat

 

[Faustus]

Granted! It's meeeee! Tangled in your hair!

I wish to make a grand, historic speech in front of the Nation!

 

[DireDrag0n]

Granted! You made a speech in front of a copy of the book "Nation" by Terry Pratchett. It was so shocked, there was no reaction at all.

I wish to travel back in time 2 weeks.

 

[GroovySpaceFox]

Granted, but you don't travel back in time in this universe. You travel back 2 weeks in a parallel universe where Earth is ruled by giant spiders.

I wish I had some affordable pizza.

 

[Faustus]

Granted! Say hello to my little friends campylobacter, clostridium perfringens, e. coli, listeria, norovirus and good ol' Sam 'n' Ella. Say goodbye to your stomach lining.

I wish for gentle sparkling mists to kiss the sunlight-bedecked hills of ancient dreaming Bath city this fine Autumn morning.

 

[Yakamaru]

Granted, but the sun end up temporarily blinding you.

I wish for a single pear.

 

[zandelux]

Granted! You get a single delicious pear that has nothing wrong with it. You spend the rest of your life in constant fear, worrying what the catch was.

I wish to meet a friendly extraterrestrial alien.

 

[Stray Cat Terry]

Granted! One day you will meet that friendly extraterrestrial alien, and become friends!

But later he/she/they tells you that their race is after Earth and they followed him/her/them. At least this friend had no bad intentions....


I wish for a friendly hug from furries, without Covid around.

 

[Yakamaru]

Granted, but the hug is so awkward that you will never want one again.

I wish for the worst letter in the alphabet.

 

[Faustus]

Granted. It's your X. He/she steals your money, eats all your food, then craps on your doorstep and runs away.

I wish for a Flaming Sword of Justice!

 

[Foxy Emy]

Granted. It's your X. He/she steals your money, eats all your food, then craps on your doorstep and runs away.

I wish for a Flaming Sword of Justice!

Granted! You now possess Newton's Flaming Laser Sword. Unfortunately, it isn't a physical sword but a logical tool.

Insist I was a fox again.

 

[Yakamaru]

Granted, but everyone else believe you're kooky.

I wish for a nice car.