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Game: bad genies

Frank Gulotta

Send us your floppy
Granted, you can turn into a .jpg file!

I wish for a big juicy elk feature
Granted, you wished to be turned into a completely normal ostrich, and it worked exactly like it sounds.

I wish for ice to taste like expensive chocolate.
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Well-Known Member
Granted! You are now able to type wishes into this forum! Unfortunately, they will always be corrupted.

I wish for a cloud in the shape of a pirate ship.


Where to next? Adventure.
You get a pair of pirate-themed booties -or- Wish granted, but da booty is looking cursed n swampy
I wish for world and interplanetary peace (I bet someone already wished for this)


Well-Known Member
Granted! The entire universe is conquered by an oppressive fascist regime. Everyone is miserable and downtrodden, but there's no war.
Dum-dum-dum, dum-de-dum, dum-de-dum. DUMMM-dum-DUMMM, dum-de-dum, dum-de-dum!

I wish for a purple lightsaber.


Stubborn Caracal
Granted. You're now so focused that you are unable to leave a task before it's done. Not even to eat. Enjoy starvation.

I wish for a never ending pot of coffee.


Well-Known Member
Granted! No spoilers can enter your personal space. Unfortunately, this extends to the movies and TV shows you watch, which automatically turn themselves off at the exciting bits to prevent you learning any important plot details. As a result you are no longer able to watch more than about twenty minutes of anything before the spoiler filter censors it all out.

I wish to provide the voice-over for an award-winning nature documentary.


Where to next? Adventure.
Granted: You've been hired to narrate a highly graphic documentary mostly covering mating habits of highly disturbing creatures (such as anglerfish, centipedes, daddy longlegs etc.), and the employers practically force you to watch as you narrate so you can emphasize what happens on-screen
I wish to be able to see ghosts, spirits, and auras

Baron Tredegar

Master of Forgotten Lore
Granted! You are now drafted into WW1!

I wish that time didnt exist.

Kara Kusa

*screeching noises*
Granted. Time no l*freezes eternally.. although the concept of 'eternal' doesnt exist anymore because time doesnt either so idk, but its confusing if I think too hard about it*

I wish for a hot dog that's been tied into an animal balloon.


“D a t t e b a y o”
Granted, but for some people it’s just death that makes them happy
I wish to hold the powers of the universe IN MY OWN TWO HANDS!!!


Furry Trash
Granted. Be careful, or you'll destroy the universe with your own two hands

I wish to be indestructible.


“D a t t e b a y o”
Granted, but you can’t attack anyone or it don’t stay pure and are no longer indestructible
I wish for 1 night as my fursona