Game: bad genies

[Faustus]

Granted: You've been hired to narrate a highly graphic documentary mostly covering mating habits of highly disturbing creatures (such as anglerfish, centipedes, daddy longlegs etc.), and the employers practically force you to watch as you narrate so you can emphasize what happens on-screen

Err... I've seen all of those. They're not that bad. Centipedes and spiders basically just shove their sperm-packets inside their mates manually. Anglerfish have the least graphic mating habits in the animal kingdom. The males just attach themselves parasitically to the female and get slowly absorbed into her skin. You want weird? Look up banana slugs!

I wish for 1 night as my fursona

Granted! It's a full moon though, so get ready to be hunted as a were-fox by crazy gun-toting, tin-hat-wearing nut jobs.

I wish for a 1-inch Mobius Loop made of platinum.

 

[ssaannttoo]

*Is slightly confused by the request.. but goes about making a platinum drum that plays the "Morbing time" clip* Here you go my kind sir uwu

I wish to gain the ability to fly like dumbo.

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but you also have his ears
I wish for $100,000,000

 

[ssaannttoo]

B-b-b-b-but... I spent so long getting this! *Looks sadly at my monopoly money*

I want revengeeeee!

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but with guilt
I Wish for another season of gravity falls

 

[Foxridley]

Granted, but the writing is terrible and everyone is acting horribly out of character.

I wish I was better on the 3DS.

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but now you suck with all other systems
I wish bill cipher was real

 

[GungHoLizard]

Granted, but as soon as he shows up, the "weirdmageddon" happens and you now have to fight against him with a resistance
I wish I had either a very quiet place to go to or a mind-palace (like visiting my daydreams)

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but as soon as he shows up, the "weirdmageddon" happens and you now have to fight against him with a resistance
I wish I had either a very quiet place to go to or a mind-palace (like visiting my daydreams)

B*tch I’d help that evil dorito

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but if you try to leave it turns out it’s another “mabelland” incident

I wish I had the power to do jutsu from naruto

 

[ssaannttoo]

You're not very good with your fingers, my friend.

I wish to do the front splits!

 

[Sodasats20]

You're not very good with your fingers, my friend.

I wish to do the front splits!

Okay, just for that comment, it’s granted, but you break both hamstrings and have to go to the hospital
I wish 2020 never happened

 

[Foxridley]

Granted. It jumps directly from 2019 to 2021. Covid is just as widespread as it was in the normal 2021, but nobody has any clue what it is, and no country or jurisdiction that was supposed to have had elections in 2020 knows who their officials are supposed to be. Every single fiscal calendar is out the window. The moon suddenly changes position, and the abrupt shift disrupts the tides, causing coastal flooding. Computer systems and GPS satellites fail as clocks cannot reconcile what has happened.

I wish for a tv show that’s just lighthearted adventuring.

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but it’s an adventure time ripoff

I wish the 9th planet was discovered

 

[GroovySpaceFox]

Granted, but after several decades, it gets reclassified as a dwarf planet.

I wish I had my own railroad.

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but the trains that run on it are splattered every inch with graffiti

I wish for samehada
(Look it up, it’s a weeb thing)

 

[GungHoLizard]

Granted, but the original owner teleports behind you and fights you to get it back

I wish Banjo-Kazooie and Yooka-Laylee were together in the same game(s) or animated series (besides fan animations like Charles C Bernardo's)

 

[Faustus]

Granted! Somehow, Webnetics manage to get the rights to both characters (a significant feat since the makers of Yooka-Laylee couldn't) and turn it into a 'game' in their... inimitable imitable style.

I wish for a funko pop of myself.

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but it’s a cursed funky pop that tries to kill you in your sleep

I wish that cool things would actually happen when I’m listening to cool music (an old childhood fantasy)

 

[Phoxphite]

Granted. Whenever you listen to a song you'd consider cool, the entire world will freeze over.

I wish to have a two wheeled unicycle

 

[Foxridley]

granted, but in order for it to function as a unicycle, the second wheel is tiny and useless.

I wish for super speed.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

You're super fast... in bed. The females are not impressed



I wish to go swimming in the pool

 

[ben909]

You're super fast... in bed. The females are not impressed



I wish to go swimming in the pool

granted, but my vaporeon character built the pool, ao its full of eevee virus and eevees anyone that enters


i wish it was colder outside

 

[Chad Firepaws]

It's now a brisk -200 degrees Kelvin



I wish for a refreshing root beer on the seaside

 

[Foxridley]

granted, but my vaporeon character built the pool, ao its full of eevee virus and eevees anyone that enters

That sounds like a bonus!

It's now a brisk -200 degrees Kelvin



I wish for a refreshing root beer on the seaside

You didn’t specify which seaside. Hope you like the smell of cigarettes and dead fish!

I wish to own a lake in Minnesota.