Game: bad genies

[Faustus]

Granted! Your house is now on an island in the middle of the most smelly, polluted lake in Minnesota. Factories dump industrial waste in it, the local sewers all connect to it, the fish have mutated into lethal Cthulhu-esque monstrosities, and it's full of malarial mosquitoes. To make matters worse, the water is too chunky to row a boat through, but too goopy to Jesus your way across the top in your flip-flops, so you're stuck in the middle of it all. Also the government is suing you for causing an ecological disaster. You die a hideous death thanks to disease, monsters and litigation-induced poverty, and when they make a movie about the incident, they cast Kevin Bacon to play you.

...I wish I knew when to stop.

 

[GroovySpaceFox]

Granted, you know when you should stop but you are unable to actually stop.

I wish for a more convenient way to sort my music.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

You now sort alphabetically... by the 7th letter. Get to sortin'!



I wish for a normal sleep schedule

 

[Phoxphite]

(Your genie is asleep, thanks to his normal sleep schedule)

I wish to never have to sleep

 

[Foxridley]

Granted, but now you may be required to work 24-hour shifts.

I wish to cure all phone addiction.

 

[Faustus]

Granted! Everyone is now averse to anything with 'phone' in it. That includes telephone, headphone, microphone, saxophone, xylophone, gramophone, sousaphone... ALL the phones. You basically just destroyed the entertainment industry. Have fun hitting cooking pots with wooden spoons.

I wish to invent an affordable home VR kit that accurately tracks the entire body.

 

[Foxridley]

Granted. You now have a creepy virtual fox kit who is always watching everything you do.

I wish to get a healthy amount of sleep.

 

[ssaannttoo]

*turns you into a giraffe* They only sleep 20 minutes a day so you're all set!

I wish to be relevant again xP

 

[Shyy]

*mug shot on TV* ..."Ssaannttoo was arrested again today while trying to perform...."
Nobody is ever going NOT talk about you being irrelevant, again. Ever...
I wish that my property taxes were lower!

 

[Foxridley]

Granted. You now owe $0.42 less in your property taxes.

I wish for soothing herbal tea.

 

[Shyy]

*bangs head on table top*
Granted. It's in a welded shut box.
I wish I could watch you try to open that.

 

[Foxridley]

*uses your horns as a can opener*

I wish for a better can opener.

 

[Sodasats20]

Granted, but it goes out of control and you end up in the hospital

I wish @Borophagus Metropolis stopped making fun of my dattebayo

 

[Faustus]

Stopped making fun of your what dattebayo? You need to finish your sentences dattebayo. (Wow, only people who speak Japanese are going to get this one dattebayo.)

I wish for a never-ending bottle of superglue that doesn't get clogged up, ever.

 

[ssaannttoo]

*hands it to you* UNFORTUNATELY, you loose the cap and now the entire room you're in is the glue bottle.. oh well.

I wish huffing glue didnt make me the way I am today ;w;

 

[Shyy]

Granted. Btw, care for some more lead paint chips? The pink ones are strawberry flavor...
I wish that I had never stuck the car keys in the wall outlet

 

[GroovySpaceFox]

Granted, but your keys accidentally fall into a drainage grate.

I wish for the ability to grant wishes in real life.

 

[Foxridley]

Granted. Now people around the world are after you to get wishes granted and many will go to great and unethical lengths (threats, blackmail etc) to get what they want.

I wish to be better at drawing.

 

[ssaannttoo]

Granted. Btw, care for some more lead paint chips? The pink ones are strawberry flavor...
I wish that I had never stuck the car keys in the wall outlet

stRAws BeRrIes!?

Granted. Now people around the world are after you to get wishes granted and many will go to great and unethical lengths (threats, blackmail etc) to get what they want.

I wish to be better at drawing.

*gives pad of paper and a pencil* Better get to it just like everybody else.

I WISH I could eat any non organic object.

 

[Shyy]

Granted. Btw, would you like any salt with your depleted U237?
I wish that I could stop hurting. My shoulder is extremely painful this morning

 

[ssaannttoo]

Oh I have this really cool thing I saw from facebook! If you cut a lemon in half, tape it to your shoulder and spin around really fast for a minute all body pain will leave you, cures head aches, kills cancer AND, makes you smell like a lemon!

I WISH for beans owo

 

[Foxridley]

You now have a can of beans that expired in 2003.

I wish for an in-ground swimming pool.

 

[ssaannttoo]

*Installs G-mod and starts moving the pool over... Only problem is it glitches now its under the world..* I mean.. its in the ground...

I want mah pawbs wubbed!

 

[Chad Firepaws]

*starts singing*

rub-a-dub dub 4 pawbs in a tub.

Time to get them clean so we rinse them out and scrub

Get 'em nice and soapy, now those pawbs are wet

What wish was I granting? Uh oh I forget



I wish I wasn't so absentminded

 

[ssaannttoo]

*Makes you Omniscient minded instead, what have I done!*

I wish to make a cult focused around the idea that everybody should learn to write with their feet.