Game: bad genies

[Chad Firepaws]

He can talk, in dog speak! You can't understand him though



I wish I could understand animals

 

[RamblingRenegade]

Fine he only screams curse words and obscene phrases
I wish today was payday

 

[RamblingRenegade]

oh FFS I can't even get a response in today..LMAO

 

[Chad Firepaws]

Fine he only screams curse words and obscene phrases
I wish today was payday

It's payday! You get ... nothing dang you must've take the whole week off


I wish that DOM-ino's turns a hefty profit this quarter

 

[Foxridley]

It does, but you don’t get so much as another dime in your paycheck.

I wish to own a peridot mine.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

Great news! You've acquired a peridot mine from your recently departed Great-Uncle, Lord RidleyFox. Of course, Lord RidleyFox was 100,000 pounds in debt and the mine's been picked clean to pay for his compulsive gambling habit. It's three months behind on rent and the utility bills haven't been paid for a year. There's also several child labor charges and medical lawsuits to scrape through as well, but I trust you can handle it. Sick cave, by the way



I wish for a cozy cabin to snuggle up in

 

[ben909]

granted, but its a rental and you were double booked with some ghosts


i wish to not see so many political ads everywhere

 

[RamblingRenegade]

Fine you see 3x as many camp lejune ads (seriously enough with them lol)
I wish I could wake up today

 

[Foxridley]

You wake up to find your whole life has been a dream, and you are actually living in a dystopian world run by robots.

I wish for a kilogram of 24-karat gold.

 

[RamblingRenegade]

Don't we all..LOL

 

[Faustus]

I wish for a kilogram of 24-karat gold.

Granted! It's delivered by Francisco Scaramanga, who's upgraded to being the Man with the Golden Machine-gun.

I wish to be married to a female A-list celebrity.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

You are now married to Ivana Trump. Good luck at that dinner table friend



I wish to be married to a normal gal

 

[Faustus]

You are now married to Ivana Trump. Good luck at that dinner table friend

I don't need luck, I've got a machete.

Also granted, but it's the mathematical definition of normal - she's pointed away from a plane at exact ninety degree angles. In this case, the plane is our plane of reality, so you can't see, hear or touch her, but you always know she's there from the smell of her interdimensional perfume. It's a tragic love story for the ages.

That one got a bit meta.

I wish for an easy problem to solve.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

You suffer from a lack of DOM-ino's pizza. I wonder how to solve that, hmmm?



I wish for pizza

 

[Simo]

Granted:

I wish I was a virtuoso calliope player.

 

[Yakamaru]

Granted, but every time you try a song everyone else around you faint.

I wish for one giant kebab pizza.

 

[Faustus]

What's that? You want Juan the Giant's kebab pizza? Juan the Giant, most feared and irascible luchadore in all of Mehico?
Well, alright, but he's gonna be pretty mad with you.

I wish for a hearing aid

 

[RamblingRenegade]

Ok you get a guy who screams in your ear what people say to you
I wish I didn't wake up 3x every night

 

[Chad Firepaws]

Granted, you wake up 5x every night



I wish I was efficient when working

 

[Simo]

Granted. But on your time off, you're much less efficient. So much so that it takes you one hour to get dressed, two hours to make coffee, and half an hour to shave.

I wish skunks ruled the earth, with me as their King.

 

[metatherat]

Granted, but many of your subjects are kinda dumb and constantly are blaming you for stuff you have little control over, like gas prices or their butts being smelly.

I wish elementary school had not ruined skiing for me.

 

[Matt the Terrier]

Granted, but as compensation, now yogurt has been ruined for you.

I wish I had a bottle of Mountain Dew.

 

[Faustus]

Granted. All your teeth fall out and your tongue permanently glows in the dark.

I wish for my own successful friendly family bar, like 'Cheers' but British. And funny.

 

[Foxridley]

In order to be family friendly, it can’t serve alcohol.

I wish to be fluffy.

 

[Rap_Daniel]

Granted!~ But you can't move because everyone is hugging you!

I wish for a good name for my character!