Game: bad genies

[Play3r]

Granted, you can now speak one word (of your choice because im feeling generous) in any language

i wish to fly

 

[Faustus]

Granted! IGOR! PREPARE ZE TREBUCHET!

I wish for a bigger trebuchet.

 

[ssaannttoo]

You could have just asked for a wooden bucket instead of a tree bucket. I would have understood what you were asking for weirdo.

I wish for deez

 

[Sodasats20]

You could have just asked for a wooden bucket instead of a tree bucket. I would have understood what you were asking for weirdo.

I wish for deez

This is a bucket

 

[Chad Firepaws]

I wish for a wish to grant :[

 

[ssaannttoo]

I wish for a wish to grant :[

I wish for deez nuts

 

[Faustus]

Granted! You have Dee's nuts. Dee is a six-foot-tall pit bull and he is not thrilled with being suddenly unexpectedly neutered, but he's smart enough to recognise that's his testes you're holding.

I wish for a worldwide ban on truck nuts.

 

[RamblingRenegade]

Fine people put them on bicycles instead

I wish I had some egg nog

 

[Chad Firepaws]

I made you some, but Santa got to it first. I'd make more but the rest of the eggs were used up in the catapult competition




I wish my catapult won the egg launching competition

 

[ssaannttoo]

It totally won! Only problem is it shot so far that it took about an hour for it to come back around! When it did... lets just say you now have an egg shaped hole between your eyes.

I wish I had a you shaped hole.. somewhere else.

 

[Faustus]

I wish I had a you shaped hole.. somewhere else.

Granted. It's in your heart. That's going to need some expensive surgery.

I wish to discover the secrets of quantum entanglement.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

Granted, but don't expect me to teach you, even genies have their limits! *Gives you several dozen textbooks* Here, study these for 8 years, then the secrets will be yours!


I wish for a cookie

 

[RamblingRenegade]

ok hands them urinal cake.. it's cherry flavored

I wish for a new car

 

[a sleepy kitty]

Granted, you now have a new Hot Wheels cat, have fun!

I wish I had more coffee.

 

[ssaannttoo]

The genie saves you from yourself and makes you a cup of tea instead.

I wish I could do the griddie!

 

[Chad Firepaws]

It's easy! You just throw the pancake on the griddie, set the timer to 5 minutes, and you're all set!



I wish I had "The Genie's Encyclopedia on how to do everything"

 

[Foxridley]

The book is in cuneiform and is 1000 pages long. Each page is a 20-lb stone tablet.

I wish I could eat what I want without having to worry about fat or cholesterol.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

Okay, everything is poisonous and will kill you in 30 seconds if you eat it. Now you don't have to worry about getting fat!


I wish all my wildest dreams come true

 

[Faustus]

Sure, but ONLY actual nighttime dreams, and only the wildest ones, like when your head becomes detached and floats away like a balloon and you have to chase after it, or when you're under threat by an army of vicious tax exemption forms that have been origami-folded into scary shapes, or when you're trying to give a speech at your local soup kitchen but you open your mouth and your voice comes out like a frog croaking and then you notice your pants are missing, or that one where you dream you're eating a really nasty marshmallow and you wake up and your pillow is gone.

Any mundane dreams like winning the lottery or marrying a supermodel never come true.

I wish... er... I wish to marry a supermodel. Why not.

 

[Punk_M0nitor]

The supermodel you wanted to marry? They’re actually a supermodel from another planet occupied by complex microscopic organisms. You can’t see your bride without a microscope

I wish for a lifetime supply of coffee

 

[ssaannttoo]

Bad wish, you can get another. I am a benevolent genie.

I wish for tea <3

 

[Chad Firepaws]

Here! T


I wish for Pizza

 

[linkmaster647]

Ok but there's pinapples

I want a mech suit

 

[Chad Firepaws]

It's perfect! For a lego minifigure



I want a lego minifigure in a mech suit

 

[ssaannttoo]

You had it… but you lost it and stepped on it!

I wish for deez nuts dragon across my face