Give bad advice to the User above you

[Herdingcats]

Ask for advice on something, and the next person can give bad advice - the kind that someone shouldn't do. And so on.

e.g. A: How do I make a sandwich?
B: Stick yourself between two slices of bread and get in the toaster.
B (continued): How do I learn to drive?
C: Get good at Grand Theft auto, then hop in a sportscar.
C: *Asks for advice*
D: *Answers C w/bad advice, then asks a question*
And etc.

Anyway, I'll start:
How do I stay warm during winter?

 

[Foxy Emy]

Ask for advice on something, and the next person can give bad advice - the kind that someone shouldn't do. And so on.

e.g. A: How do I make a sandwich?
B: Stick yourself between two slices of bread and get in the toaster.

Anyway, I'll start:
How do I stay warm during winter?

Eat the yellow snow. It is yellow because it has been warmed up to a nice golden color like a perfectly toasted marshmallow.

How do I stop mosquitoes from biting me?

 

[Toby_Morpheus]

Eat the yellow snow. It is yellow because it has been warmed up to a nice golden color like a perfectly toasted marshmallow.

How do I stop mosquitoes from biting me?

Napalm your yard.

Whats the best way to keep my little claws trim?

 

[VeeStars]

If you rip off your claws, you won't have to trim them ever!

What's the best way to acquire the ~ f i s h ~

 

[Narri]

Catch it in a bucket. Carve "The Fish" into it's side, then tie it to a totem tennis pole and wack it around until it gets yeeted over your backyard and onto your neighbors porch.

What is the best way to deal with anxiety?

 

[Arishipshape]

Out of sight, out of mind. Don't think about it or acknowledge it!

How do I study more efficiently?

 

[VeeStars]

Write the answers to the test on your forehead so you don't have to study!

What's the best way to survive a thunderstorm?

 

[Frank Gulotta]

How do I study more efficiently?

I heard the reconditioning machine from a Clockwork Orange is on sale

Goddamit
@VeeStars thunderstorms are a conspiracy from the Illuminati. Just wear a tinfoil hat

How can I cheaply travel abroad?

 

[Cosmic-FS]

How can I cheaply travel abroad?

Just hop in a crate and mail yourself to where you need to go.

How do I lose weight without having to give up eating pizza and ice cream?

 

[Frank Gulotta]

Just hop in a crate and mail yourself to where you need to go.

How do lose weight without having to give up eating pizza and ice cream?

Nice! a crate and some bubblewrap are certainly cheaper than a plane ticket

Get some tapeworms, there ya go

How do I survive a forest fire? asking for a friend

 

[VeeStars]

Nice! a crate and some bubblewrap are certainly cheaper than a plane ticket

Get some tapeworms, there ya go

How do I survive a forest fire? asking for a friend

Dig a ten-foot deep hole and wait to be rescued. Make sure to breath the smoke as it has rejuvenating properties!

How do I open the blinds without getting up?

 

[Narri]

Throw a brick and smash the window instead. I'm assuming you sleep with one next to you

How can I do my assignments and hand them in on time?

 

[Frank Gulotta]

How can I do my assignments and hand them in on time?

Sign a blood pact with the devil!

How do I fix my back pain??

 

[Arishipshape]

Have a back-ectomy. What you don't have can't hurt!

How do I become rich?

 

[Leadhoof]

Just add zeroes to all of the cash you carry. Nobody will ever notice.


I haven't been sleeping well, lately. How do I fix that?

 

[Foxy Emy]

I haven't been sleeping well, lately. How do I fix that?

I hear vodka helps.

How do I learn to cook?

 

[Pogo]

If you wanna learn to cook you gotta do it right. Sell your possessions, morgage your home, take out a loan and hire Gordon Ramsay's to become your private cooking instructor.

How do i start an online buisness?

 

[TR273]

I hear vodka helps.

How do I learn to cook?

Get a job working in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant then grab anything you like the look of and quickly eat it in the store room. If the customer ask where their food is just blame <Insert politically charged world leader's name here> it works every time.

I have a flat tyre on my car.

 

[TR273]

If you wanna learn to cook you gotta do it right. Sell your possessions, morgage your home, take out a loan and hire Gordon Ramsay's to become your private cooking instructor.

How do i start an online buisness?

(Whoops Ninja'd)
Hack Microsoft/Apple/Big Business Name Here, alter their records to put yourself in as CEO.

How to repair a flat tyre on my car?

 

[Leadhoof]

Just let all the air out of the other three so you don't throw it off balance.


Is there an easier way to clear snow off my driveway?

 

[Arishipshape]

(Whoops Ninja'd)
Hack Microsoft/Apple/Big Business Name Here, alter their records to put yourself in as CEO.

How to repair a flat tyre on my car?

When a tyre goes flat, it is broken beyond repair. Replace the tyre with an equivalently sized cheese wheel.

Darn, ninjad.

Just let all the air out of the other three so you don't throw it off the balance.


Is there an easier way to clear snow off my driveway?

Yes. Boil some water and throw it on the snow.

How do I increase the battery life on my computer?

 

[TR273]

Dynamite!

(Edit Ninja'd but I think I'll leave the dynamite comment, after all a dynamite based battery would be pretty powerful.)

What is the best way to 'Get away from it all'?

 

[Arishipshape]

Dynamite!

What is the best way to 'Get away from it all'?

How can I breathe underwater?

 

[zentt]

How can I breathe underwater?

Just inhale normally! Your breaths might not contain very much air though.

My mailman damages my packages. How should I convince him to be more careful?

 

[Arishipshape]

Just inhale normally! Your breaths might not contain very much air though.

My mailman damages my packages. How should I convince him to be more careful?

Mail a bottle of uranium and label your package as such.

How can I learn to tell a good story when there’s no colleges that specialize in storyboarding?