Give bad advice to the User above you

[Monster+]

Bite it by mouth, like a real animal.

Guys, how to fix my headphone? Mine is broken!!!!

 

[GroovySpaceFox]

Whack it with a soldering iron and hope it works.

How do I pay for things online?

 

[Halligan322]

The best way to find out is to post your credit card info and have someone do it for you!

My alarm clock isn’t working right. How should I make sure I wake up on time?

 

[Lucyfur]

Keep yourself awake with caffeine and listening to baby shark on loop then you don't need to worry about waking up.

How am I supposed to change my brakes?

 

[Halligan322]

Same as changing the oil. Go to dealership and get a new car.

How do I fall asleep? This damn baby shark on a loop is driving me CrAzY

 

[Deleted member 111470]

Get drunk until you pass out.

How do I confess to my crush?

 

[Faustus]

Tell them you did it and demand to be handcuffed and taken downtown.

What's the best way to roast a turkey?

 

[Monster+]

just burn it into ashes. Easy.

Guys how do I sleep?

 

[metatherat]

Bash your head against a wall, eventually you will become exhausted from the physical exertion and fall asleep.

How can we increase the amount of rodent sonas in the fandom?

 

[Yakamaru]

By kicking out everyone else. :>

What's the best way to eat nachos?

 

[TemetNosce88]

Swallow them whole, don't chew.

How can I build upper body strength quickly?

 

[Tacoshark]

Bench press children. They are free and you can add weight by going for the fatter ones.

How do you make friends?

 

[Vorelover467]

You get into a head on collision on your way to work. You'll get to know the occupants of the vehicle and their family.

How do you find the meaning of life?

 

[Minerva_Minx]

Get black out drunk.

How do you get to Sesame Street?

 

[Faustus]

Go down main street and take the third left.
ONE! TWO! THREE! Ah ah ah...

How can I make an attractive side table from leftover pallet wood?

 

[GroovySpaceFox]

Put it on top of some industrial sized cans of baked beans.

How do I learn knitting?

 

[Zehlua]

Take two chopsticks and some twine and fuck around for a few months until you've made yourself a sock

How do I open a can of green beans?

 

[Frank Gulotta]

Same technique as for cans of red beans and every other problem : fire!

How do I stop eating grilled peanuts before it's too late?

 

[Tacoshark]

Dynamite solves all problems.

How do you make a martini?

 

[Borophagus Metropolis]

Grab a 1.75 liter bottle of Gilbey's gin and a 16 ounce can of green beans. Combine in a blender. This is one martini.

How do I find true love?

 

[TemetNosce88]

Lower your dating standards to zero.

How can I look busy without actually working?

 

[Deleted member 111470]

Watch a YouTube video with an intense look on your face and tell your boss to fuck off when they ask you what you are doing.

How do I make more money?

 

[Zehlua]

Sell green beans

How do I grow more green beans?

 

[Ra'ara Su'nai]

You grow any other kind of beans(I'm partial to black beans myself for their rich flavor) and submerged them for a week in green food coloring.

How do I catch a frog that sneaked into my bedroom?

 

[Zehlua]

Leave a trail of peanut butter candy and play German polka

How do I store my canned green beans?