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Got a furry story? Post it here!


Just a friendly robot
Do you have a furry story that you wrote, but didn't get any critique or advice on how to improve your story? Post it here!
All we ask is that you keep it PG-13.
That means sexual acts are okay, but don't go into gross detail about it. Sexual themes and language are alright as well.


The critique thread is for posting links to stories on FA, whereas in this one you post the literary works themselves, I think.


Just a friendly robot
The critique thread is for posting links to stories on FA, whereas in this one you post the literary works themselves, I think.

Exactly. You post the whole story, not the link to it. It's kind of a furry story archive, I guess.
I'll post my furry story, if you want.
It's a sci-fi action story...


Exactly. You post the whole story, not the link to it. It's kind of a furry story archive, I guess.
I'll post my furry story, if you want.
It's a sci-fi action story...

It's called FurAffinity. Please have some patience.


Just a friendly robot
It's called FurAffinity. Please have some patience.

Well, what I see the problem is, because FA is down a lot, people don't always have access to the stories, plus, when all you can see is a thumbnail, you could miss out on your target audience. Besides, you could probably get a lot more hits and critique if you put it on here, albeit temporarily.


Resident pervy rainbow unicorn
so... you post the text here, or the link to them on another site?

I have a story of my own, but it's pretty long :/ it's currently in its 5th chapter.


Just a friendly robot
so... you post the text here, or the link to them on another site?

I have a story of my own, but it's pretty long :/ it's currently in its 5th chapter.

The text.
You can go chapter by chapter, or post the whole thing. if you do post the whole thing, do this:
at the beginning type size=1 in brackets then at the end type /size in brackets. It makes the text smaller, like this:
Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz.


Resident pervy rainbow unicorn
I'll post it chapter by chapter :) it will make more sense that way, there are breaks in the plot between chapters.

So here's the prologue:

Ch. 1- The Discovery

Sitting in a cozy beanbag chair, Althea was thinking about her weekend. She was off from college for about a week for spring vacation, and in Michigan the week was blessedly warm. Having brown hair and light blue eyes, she was often seen as plain looking by all but her friends. She had a fun-loving personality, but deep down she knew that she was always sad and had a very low confidence. She looked back down at the drawing she had been working on and sighed when she saw mistakes she had made, but it was too late to fix them. Others thought her drawing skills were good, but she thought they were mediocre at best, but as the old saying goes, the artist is often the worst critic. Not wanting to sit around all weekend, she stood up and packed a backpack full of various things to bring with her as she thought of which of her old friend’s houses to visit. She had lived in this area her entire life, so all of her friends were people she had known for at least 12 years, if not more. At the age of 19, she was a sophomore in college, and hadn’t seen anyone from high school for over 3 months. She wondered how everyone was doing as she walked down the steps from the upstairs bedroom to the living room, picking up her iPod from the table and clipping it to the pocket of her jeans. After telling her mother where she would be going, she got onto her bike and pedaled down the neighborhood. Spring was always the most cheerful of months in Michigan, after the deep freeze of winter plants started to come back to life and animals woke from a long hibernation. Birds celebrated the new beginnings in loud songs that echoed through the state and only increased the happiness of the residents. She looked down the road at the construction sites lining the opposite side of the road and scoffed at the ugly piles of dirt that took away the beauty of the surrounding area. The business districts of the area were growing, and with it the cost of land. Neighborhoods were being overtaken by businesses and traffic as construction sites grew in number around her family’s house. Althea shook her head in dismay, but knew she was powerless to stop growth. After passing the intimidating heavy machinery that sat asleep beside the already raised metal bars, she finally reached Stephanie’s house after only a few minutes of riding. She parked her bike and walked up to the porch to see Stephanie open the door with a bright smile.
“Althea! Oh my god, it’s so good to see you!” She motioned Althea to come in, who laughed at Stephanie’s enthusiasm. She walked through the house with a bright smile; Stephanie leading her into what she knew was the kitchen. She looked around her at the rich browns and tans of the décor and walked up a small set of stairs to see a man sitting in the kitchen already. It wasn’t Stephanie’s father though; it was a much younger man she didn’t recognize. He wasn’t as young as Stephanie, but was probably a few years older than her. Althea looked at Stephanie with a raised eyebrow in question. Stephanie giggled innocently and walked over to the man, hugging him around the neck happily.
“This is Alec, my boyfriend. He’s an electrician I met at work.” She said, ruffling his hair. He made a sound of protest and smoothed down his jet black hair, standing to greet Althea with a smile.
“Nice to meet you, Steph’s told me all about you.” He said, shaking Althea’s hand politely. She looked at him skeptically, wondering how old he actually was. He seemed as if he were in his upper 20’s, far too old for Stephanie’s 18. She’d have to watch out for Stephanie with this guy.
They broke the handshake, and Althea looked nervously around the room, not really knowing what to do. She had been without a boyfriend for about half a year now, and was still healing a broken heart. He had used her and dumped her in the usual shallow way, wanting only a girlfriend to say she was ‘his girl’ until he found another victim. She had been crushed, thinking he had actually been sincere in his many ‘I love you’ and ‘you’re so pretty’. But it had all been an illusion, and she had fallen for it.
Building a mental wall so that her emotions wouldn’t seep into her outward appearance, Althea looked again at Alec and braced herself for the horrible green envy that uncontrollably filled her. Stephanie had rarely had a boyfriend their entire time growing up, and now she had a very handsome older guy who could take care of her very well.
Stephanie saw Althea building her mental walls and knew what it meant. After nearly 5 years of being best friends, they could read each other’s body language almost perfectly.
“Anyway… Did you need anything, Althea?” Stephanie said, trying to change the conversation so Althea would be more comfortable.
“Yeah, I came to give you back your book you let me borrow, it was really good, and thanks for letting me borrow it.” Althea said quietly, reaching into her backpack and bringing out one of the two books she had brought with her.
“No problem.” Stephanie said, taking the book and watching as Althea leaned down to zip back up her bag. “I’ll call you tonight, alright?” She said, wanting to talk to Althea about what was wrong, but not wanting to say it in front of Alec.
Althea understood and nodded, hoisting her backpack back over her shoulder, saying goodbye to both Stephanie and Alec and walked back out of the house, her mind buzzing with sad memories. Oh, how she wished those memories would go away!
She walked down the road and into one of the construction sites. She always liked to go through the upturned soil throughout these sites and find interesting objects like shiny rocks and antiques. She looked in the direction of a particularly shining object and gasped in surprise when she realized it looked like silver! She walked over to the strange object and dusted the thin layer of dirt from on top of it, revealing a strange silver carving. It looked as if it were ancient, the silver tarnished and the carvings worn away. She examined the carvings themselves and found that it was the recreation of a battle. Two sites faced each other with bared weapons, One side human being led by a woman, and the other a strange type of being that looked to be a mix of human and all sorts of different animals, leg by a human-tiger creature, baring a long sword. She turned the carvings in her hand, seeing that the strange creatures had human-like faces, except for their nostrils were that of an animal’s and the ears on the sides of their head were that of an animal as well. Their feet were actually large paws, and it looked as if they all stood on their toes, although Althea knew that this was normal for an animal anatomy. She flipped the mirror over, wiping the dust away from the shining surface of the glass. The surface swirled with smoke as she looked at her own image, which appeared, was clouded by smoke, then reappeared again. Her head pounded as if something was pushing on her temples, and her eyesight blurred into swirls of darkness and random colors, making her close her eyes in pain. Her hair whipped around her face as wind blew around her, and all faded into darkness…


Resident pervy rainbow unicorn
Chapter 2: The Meeting

“Hey- are you alright?” a deep male voice said through the haze of Althea’s clouded senses. She opened her eyes slowly, only to see a strange creature looking at her inches from her face. She glanced over his strange cat-like features, and the small coating of soft orange and black striped fur, making her realize this must be a tiger of some sort- but with a human-like face. She stood perfectly still for a moment as the strange being watched her with bright green eyes, the cat ears sprouting from his brown hair raised in curiosity.
Althea let out a long scream of surprise, hoping the thing would leave her alone from such a noise, but he only flinched and covered his ears, glaring at her.
“What the hell is your problem?” He yelled, rubbing his ears to make them stop ringing. “You were unconscious when I found you, so I just wanted to make sure you’re alright! Gods, my ears!” He growled, finally taking his hands away from his head, but his ears were now lowered in annoyance.
‘What is he- a cat? Or a human of some sort?’ Althea thought to herself as she looked at his very human-like features and attitude. “What are you?” She asked softly, trying to make sense of things.
“What do you mean ‘what am I’? I’m a humanus- duh.” He said, rolling his eyes with a smirk. Althea looked him over, seeing his upper body was very human-like, but instead of feet he had two large paws and a long tail that was slashing the air behind him as he waited for her reaction. Did he say he was human?
“You are so not human.” Althea said warily, noticing his green eyes flash in anger.
“Not human, humanus!” The creature hissed, its ears lowering again in anger. “Filthy stinking creatures, those humans.” He mumbled, looking away from her as he said it.
“Hey- what have you got against humans?” Althea said defensively. She had never heard someone insult the entire human race before, and it struck a bad cord in her.
“Let’s see, maybe because they’re trying to kill my entire race?” The cat-like creature hissed, his fangs flashing as he bared his teeth.
“What?” Althea gasped in shock, hoping that he wasn’t thinking she would want to try and kill anyone.
The creature sighed, and closed his eyes in frustration.
“The humans and humanus have been at war for nearly 50 years now. Before the war started, humans and humanus lived side by side peacefully. We even fought together in battles against enemies, and traded goods to each other. There were even people that went so far as to fall in love and have children between the races, making a sub-race called the ‘furso’. Unfortunately, once the war started, they were the first to be killed. It all started when for some reason the queen began thinking of us as ‘monsters’, more instinctive than intelligent. Soon the opinion started to spread throughout the kingdoms, and people thought that they should be the first to act against us, lest we try and kill them on sight. My uncle was one of the first humanus to be killed by humans that thought of us as ‘rabid beasts’, and we’ve been fighting ever since.”
“That’s terrible.” Althea said, looking up at the tiger-being as he looked at the ground uneasily.
“Yes, well…” he looked back up at her, and looked her up and down, his ears raising again in curiosity. “Where are you from anyway? You have strange clothes.”
“I’m from Michigan. It’s only a t-shirt and jeans.” she said, looking down at her outfit.
“Mi-shee-gin? Is that some rural human town or something? I’ve never heard of it.”
“Sort of.” Althea smirked, knowing that Michigan was one of the more rural states in America. “Where am I, anyway?”
Ah, you’re in the Tora kingdom of Sanrou.” The creature smiled.
Althea looked around her in shock. Another world? No streets or sidewalks? No cars or schools? “NO SHOPPING MALLS?” she yelled in shock, and looked at the ground for the mirror to get back to her own world, but found it shattered on the ground. She was stuck in this world now, never to return.
“Wow, you’re pretty excitable, aren’t you?” The creature smirked wryly, but turned uneasy when she started to look depressed, a small sniff sounding from her. “Uh- hey, don’t cry.” he said anxiously. Althea thought of how her family and friends would think she was dead if she didn’t get back soon. Everyone would forget about her and move on, like she had never existed. She sobbed softly, making the being step back in frustration.
“Oh great. Nice, Toran. You made her cry.” He muttered to himself as he wondered how he could calm her down. He hated seeing females cry, no matter if they were human or humanus. He frantically looked around, trying to get her to stop crying, and realizing that he didn’t even know her name. He looked down at the mirror on the ground, remembering that she had started crying when she saw it.
“You know, this can be fixed.” He said, looking at the shattered glass. “The panel can be replaced.”
“No, you don’t get it.” Althea sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I picked up that mirror and wound up here somehow. Now that it’s broken I can’t go back home.”
“You traveled through this thing?” Toran looked at her in shock, trying to figure out how she would fit through such a small space. He thought for a minute, before remembering a story from his childhood.
“I think I’ve heard of something like this before.” Toran said, trying to remember how the story went.
“Oh yeah- my father told me when I was very young. A human man traveled through a mirror from another world, and had to try and find a way back home. I don’t remember all the details though… We could always go to the library and check, I was on my way there anyway.”
“Really?” Althea said hopefully, wiping the rest of her tears from her eyes. She was so glad she had found someone helpful. It sounded like this world was pretty dangerous.
“Sure, why not? My name’s Toran by the way.” he said, smiling down at her. She was a lot shorter than him, probably a good three feet. Then again, he was pretty tall, even for a humanus.
“I’m Althea. Hey- can I ask why you were traveling to the library anyway? Are you going to get a book?”
“Oh, no. I’m gathering as many humanus as I can to make an army to fight the humans. The battle’s getting pretty bad, and more humanus are dying than humans at this point.” He said, looking at her sadly before perking up his ears. “Alright then, to the library!” He said, trying to change the subject. He looked around uneasily, wondering which way the library actually was… “North, then.” He said, starting to walk in the direction he had pointed. Althea watched him walk off, biting her lip nervously as she wondered if he knew the right way or not.
“Come on!” He called behind his shoulder, and she ran to catch up with Toran.


Resident pervy rainbow unicorn
Chapter 3- The Librarian


In a dark room of a castle, two pillars of strangely red flames burned on either side of a silver throne. Sitting in the throne was a tall woman, her face shadowed as she looked down at the two younger people kneeling before her.
“I have gathered you two here for a purpose.” The queen said, her voice hinting at an edge of anger.
“Yes, your majesty?” The two younger humans said in unison, their identical brown hair and blue eyes looking up at the queen apprehensively.
“Rain, Sei, rumor has told that the Humanus prince has left the safety of his castle.”
“What a fool.” The man, Sei, laughed, shaking his head in amazement of the humanus’ stupidity.
“Indeed.” Rain agreed, a sly smile creeping across her face. “Would you like us to kill him, your majesty?” She said in offering, and bowed her head politely.
“Yes, kill him before he gathers others to him and creates a formidable force. The humanus must not be underestimated.”
The twins nodded and stood up, walking backwards out of the room, as was the custom of avoiding dishonor by showing their backs to the queen. When they finally reached the door, they turned around and began walking down the paved pathway into the city.
“Finally sister, a mission for us to focus on.” Sei said happily, running a hand thoughtfully on the tattoo on the side of his face, a series of triangles bordered by a straight line on either side of the row, crossing his eye to his brow and to his chin. It was a testament of the training he had undergone in order to be a warrior of the kingdom.
“Yes, my brother, but one humanus will not be much of a battle. Let’s wait and strike when the time is right.” Rain said, the long tails of her red bandanna trailing behind her as she took her halberd from her back and settled it more comfortably against her shoulders. Sei smiled in agreement and they walked into the city, heading west toward what was left of the humanus kingdoms.

Toran looked around in confusion, seeing nothing but green rolling hills in all directions. Had he taken the wrong way?
“Are you sure you know where we’re going?” Althea said skeptically.
“Of course I do.” Toran said, his voice sounding defensive even to his own ears. He looked away from Althea to hide his uneasy expression, hoping that he would be able to get a map at the library as well, so he could find out whether or not he was heading in the right direction. He started walking toward the east, hoping it was the direction that the last standing humanus library was in.
Two hours of walking later, Toran grinned in satisfaction when he saw the tall towers of the library in the distance. “Yes, the library!” he cheered in triumph, and opened the large oak door into the large brick building housing row upon row of shelves, each filled with books. He started at the beginning of the alphabet to try and find the story of the last traveler through the mirror, running his clawed finger along the titles as he searched.
“Must be around the corner.” He muttered to himself when he found no traces of it in that shelf. He rounded the corner and stopped in his tracks at the sight of a large pile of an amazing variety of weapons in front of him.
“I wonder who these belong to? They must be a great warrior.” Toran said quietly, looking down at the weapons with an expression of shock
“Those would be mine, ‘stranger’.” A light voice said from behind him, making Toran twirl around in alarm, but smile when he saw the black panther humanus smiling up at him. They braced forearms in a friendly greeting.
“Xicro, long time no see.” Toran said, looking down at the face of his shorter, childhood friend.
“Likewise, Toran. You’ve grown too much.” Xicro laughed, making Toran’s grin widen.
“So, what have you been up to?” Toran said, releasing Xicro’s grip as Althea looked on in confusion.
Xicro shrugged, his smile innocent. “Oh you know, fighting for my life… the usual.” He chuckled.
Althea sighed, not able to stand the confusion any longer. She looked at Toran with an annoyance. “Mind telling me who this is?” She said, and Xicro looked over at her, as if noticing her for the first time, his expression turning to one of shocked nervousness.
“Toran, what’s with the human? Should I be alarmed?” Xicro said, his ears flipped back apprehensively as he looked at Althea.
“Eh… no. No reason to be alarmed, she’s sort of the reason I came here. Have you heard of the legend of a human coming from a mirror?” Toran said, looking embarrassed.
“Of course I have, I’m a librarian.” Xicro rolled his eyes.
“Yeah… She’s like that, only for real.” Toran said, pointing toward Althea.
“Really?” Xicro’s ears perked up in curiosity, and he walked over to Althea, poking her gently on the cheek. “Yep, she’s real.” He said, a bright grin covering his face to show he was joking.
“What a relief.” Althea said sarcastically, but couldn’t help but smile as well.
Xicro sighed, his expression turning serious. “Let me guess, you want to try and find a way back to her world?”
“Yep.” Toran nodded.
“That may be difficult.” Xicro walked over to a shelf and looked at the letters on the label before walking over three rows and bringing a book back, reading it as he walked. He stopped in front of Toran, looking up at him and Althea. “According to the story, the guy who came through the mirror never went back home. He stayed in Sanrou, and…” He looked down at the book in shock. “Well this can’t be right.” Xicro looked up uneasily to Toran before continuing to read. “It says here he married the human queen and started the war against the humanus.” Xicro let out a low hiss of anger and closed the book. “Apparently he thought that since we weren’t God-made, we’re abominations of nature.”
“Great, well unfortunately, that explains a lot.” Toran sighed, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Wait… what do you mean ‘not God-made?” Althea looked at Xicro in confusion.
“Humanus were made by humans.” Xicro said simply with a shrug.
“What?!” Althea said in shock, looking to Toran, who nodded in agreement.
“Wizards wanted to make their pets and familiars more intelligent to help them in their studies and help make them not so lonely, but they made us a little too intelligent.” Xicro continued.
“We rose up against them, and made our own kingdoms. Who wants to be a pet of some old guy in a tower?” Toran said, his grin revealing the large fangs in his teeth.
Althea still looked at them in shock, and Xicro smiled softly, chuckling. “I’ll explain some more for you. There are two kingdoms, the Okami kingdom, whose prince is the white wolf Jan, and the Tora kingdom.” Xicro grinned slyly and pointed to Toran. “Who’s prince is Toran, here.”
Toran froze and looked at Althea uneasily as she raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Wait- Toran’s a prince?” she said in amazement.
“Did you have to tell her?” Toran growled to Xicro, who only laughed.
“Yes.” He said happily. Toran shook his head and was glad his fur hid the blush he could feel running over his cheeks as Althea leaned closer to him.
“So you really are a prince?” she said, blinking in surprise.
“Yes, even though there’s not much to be a prince of, lately.” Toran sighed, and perked his ears up as he remembered why he had wanted to see Xicro. “Speaking of which- It’s time to take your whip out, Xicro. We’re going to battle soon and I need you to come along with me, my friend.” Toran said, his voice grim.
“Ooh, I get to kick some bad guy butt?” Xicro said eagerly, and dashed toward the back room between two shelves of books.
“He’s a little too happy to have the chance to hurt someone.” Althea said uneasily, watching as Xicro came back out of the room with a long chain of metal rods looped around his shoulder.
“That’s what makes him such a good warrior. He loves the heat of battle.” Toran said, and nodded in satisfaction at the sight of Xicro’s infamous metal whip.
“Alright then, I suppose I’ll leave Jaque in charge of the library. He’ll do fine.” Xicro said, and looked down to Althea. “I’m sorry I misjudged you earlier. After being around humans that want to kill me for so long, I forgot that not all of them are so hostile.” Xicro said, his yellow eyes bright as he looked down at her, pushing a wild lock of black hair from in front of his eyes.
“No problem.” Althea said happily, and patted Xicro reassuringly on the shoulder. Xicro smiled in relief and walked with Toran out the door of the library, winding the whip around his shoulders and waist to free up his arms as he walked.


Panthera tigris libris
Well, what I see the problem is, because FA is down a lot, people don't always have access to the stories,

Since, of course, there aren't any other sites, furry or otherwise, to post one's stories on... >9_9<

plus, when all you can see is a thumbnail, you could miss out on your target audience.

That's what that description box is for. And the tags.

*shakes head* Oh, well. MLR, we might as well give up on the critique thread since everyone is either not seeing it or ignoring it (and very few are critting others' work from it anyway, by your reports)...


evolution's cruelest joke
No one can find the critique thread in the mass of stickies.


Well, what I see the problem is, because FA is down a lot, people don't always have access to the stories, plus, when all you can see is a thumbnail, you could miss out on your target audience. Besides, you could probably get a lot more hits and critique if you put it on here, albeit temporarily.

And when FA goes back up, we'll have access again.

The way I see it is this. We've got a perfectly good site for posting stories, and a perfectly good thread for giving and getting critique from an expanded audience. If you want to go about making a new thread for posting stories, or suggesting that we post stories to another site, then that undermines the usefulness of both FA and the critique thread. If you're going to post your stories on another site, then necessarily, the users of that other site are going to read them. If you post them here, it just makes for a lengthy, cluttered thread, as is already evidenced.

Patience is not known as a virtue for no reason. The site will be back up. I'm waiting to post a whole bunch of stories myself.


Panthera tigris libris
No one can find the critique thread in the mass of stickies.

And we've asked to have most of those removed--more than once, I believe--and nothing has happened. *shrug*

(ETA: If anyone's reading this who has the power to do anything about it, IMO the critique thread, the "attention beginners: common errors thread," and the "looking for writers" thread should be stickied. I'd say everything else can go back to being a regular thread, unless anyone else thinks there are more that should stay up there, like maybe the new writer advice-type ones.)
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perhaps we should create a subforum for writer advice? (like the fursona one in 'the den')


Well, hope you like this; if you guys are into military stuff and can decipher technical names and nomenclatures; then "HERE TOY GO!"

Ballad Of The Widowmakers
By Sablelieger


SCENE 2: ROOFTOP OF A BUILDING OVERLOOKING THE CITY – Satellite City 29, population 3.5 million inhabitants; a combination of human and anthro inhabitants that live in harmony, much like your typical large metropolitan city in the US. The city is full of life; people going about their lives in peace, Satellite City is far from the perfect utopian city…

But is better than what is on the other side of the wall.

SCENE 3: Panoramic view of the devastated city that surrounds "Satellite City 29"; beyond the massive steel and concrete walls that surround the city is the "Old World". The remains of a large metropolitan city, the city was devastated by nuclear war, and now is nothing but a decrepit shell of itself. The new city is surrounded by mountains of jagged concrete, twisted metal and shattered glass that jut out of the gound like a twisted forest of devastation against the desolate landscape.

SCENE 4: Most inhabitants died on the first nuclear strikes, the survivors either left the city to the safety of other cities and towns to the North and to the West or stayed behind, refusing to give up their homes and lives to the unstoppable onslaught of war. Those that stayed behind either died of radiation exposure, starvation, disease or from the roving bands of scavengers and mercenaries that roamed the countryside afterwards. The entire region became a desolate landscape where all rules of civilization were cast aside and where the law of the wild became the law of the land.

Despite the military's valiant effort to defend the city and stem the tide of lawlessness, they were forced to retreat amidst massive civilian and military casualties; leaving but one combined arms division behind to shoulder the load as the rest of the Army and Marines pushed outwards to link up with surviving elements and continue the fight. Those left behind built Satellite City 29 as a military garrison to defend the region from any outside attacks; as the years went by, the garrison grew in size into a fortress, a refuge from the savagery and carnage of the outside world. The brave men and women that endured were hailed as heroes and thanks to their sacrifice, the city became a glimer of hope, a beacon of life and prosperity in a sea of desolation and suffering.

As the city grew in size, so did the population and the need for an effective defense force was created; the division that once fought to maintain order in the city in those early years, became a self-sufficient governing force that maintained order and strived to provide the citizens with all possible civil services while maintainign a high state of readiness. The city government was divided into both military and civilian sectorsd, responsible for the management and running of all daily operations inside the walls.

Those lucky enough to live inside, live in a seemingly normal world; they work, live, play and go about their lives with little regard for what happened beyond the walls decades ago; sometimes, if you pay attention, you can still hear the thunder of explosions and machine gun fire in the distance, carried off by the winds; the guardians atop the city's impregnable walls can see the flashes of light in the distance and sometimes cringe at the thought of what could be happening beyond the walls they protect, but they stand steadfast, ready to defend their city and those inside.

SCENE 4: A cloaked figure stares into the distance; the lights of Satellite City 29, shining brightly into the skies above, seemingly cutting through the darkness of a dead world. The figure cradles an M4A1 SOPMOD Carbine with

a shortened M203 grenade launcher, along with an AN/PAQ-4 IR pointer and a rail-mounted flashlight with IR filters on it. He stands atop a skyscraper looking into the jagged landscape below. the smell of ash and smoke fills his nostrils and the dampness of the air that surrounds him weighs his body down like a million hands, but he is accustomed to it; he's been around for a while and knows his surroundings well.

He was one of the original soldiers that stayed behind during the war; just a private in his late teens, he lost his parents in that city and vowed to stay in that city to his dying day; now an officer and a platoon leader, his commitment remains just as strong as before. He pulls down his Shemagh, revealing his face; he takes a deep breath and then exhales, a cloud of warm steam exits his mouth, turning visible with the frigid air around him.

Alex (to himself):
So much devastation... So much sorrow.. So much anger and so much pain...

Alex then raises his hand and looks at the partially scorched picture of an unknown man, with his wife and child by his side; he seems so contempt with his life.. So happy and carefree; then he looks at the landscape that surrounds him and wonders if this man is even alive today; what happened to him and his family? What was going through his head the moment the war came crashing through his little world? Did he die first? Did his wife and child die first? Did he kill himself afterwards? Did he die with his family?

I guess he'll never know...

Ashes to ashes... Dust to dust.

then Alex tosses the scorched picture out the window and watches it as the winds carry it away, disappearing into the darkness below. He takes one last look at the landscape that surrounds him and pulls the Shemagh over his face before turning around and walking away from the window as thunder is heard in the distance.

SCENE 5: The figure walks back into the building and meets with a group of soldiers, dressed in similar fashion to him; a mix of different anthro soldiers of multiple species, but with a common goal, to defend their city. the team has taken a break from a long patrol over the buffer zone and they are checking their gear and weapons, reloading their magazines and adjusting their gear while their radio man monitor's radio chatter between them and the city. The team is a recon element that was put into the buffer zone several days ago to monitor activity around the ruins and to clear zones for expansion.

Team’s assembled; we monitored radio traffic and we heard that there’s an enemy patrol in the business district, probably heading in this direction.

Alright; we’ll follow an intercept and see what they’re up to.

Alex (to his men):
Okay, ladies. Lock and load, check your mags, secure your equipment and make sure you guys have enough water and rations. The extraction ships will be online in 9 hours, so we have to make a further sweep of the business district before we head home. Hooah?


All right; let’s do it.

and for God's sake, please be careful out there...

Percy (slinging his M107 over his shoulders):
Careful? If I wanted to be careful; I would've joined the Air Force instead.

The soldiers laugh and chuckle as they check their weapons before heading out again.

Our Sniper Team is comprised by Corporal Percival "Percy" Jones and Private First Class Maxwell "Max" Robbins; Percy is a tough Anthro Timber Wolf that was raised in the mountains if Colorado, just outside of Boulder; Mac is a no-nonsense Anthro Lynx that hails from the North Side of Chicago, Illinois. Our radio man, Specialist 4th Class Randy "Mitch" Mitchell is an anthro jaguar and a US Navy Signal Specialist from Thieveries, Florida; he is the team's electronic's wizard and a master with a circuit board.

Radio Man:
Tower Watch, this is Alpha Team; we are moving out into sector 4.

Soldier (manning a heavily fortified bunker on the city’s north perimeter):
Copy that Alpha Team; we have your back.
Soldiers man the wall’s defensive position; a combination of heavy caliber guns, rocket launchers and plasma cannons that ring the entire perimeter of the city; nearly 95 miles of solid armored bunkers and gun batteries, bristling with high tech weapons and command and control stations. Meanwhile, the patrol moves thorough mountains of jagged concrete and steel, through buildings and through cratered streets, even underneath them through sewers and subway lines; they patrol the streets for signs of enemy activity and of life.

Hours pass and no enemy contact; to them, is a cat and mouse game, where the team hunts the enemy and the enemy hunts them. Then Alex looks up as he hears thunder in the distance; the skies are dark and gray and he takes a deep breath and can feel the humid air in his nose and in his mouth.

Sean (walking up to Alex):
Something wrong?

Is going to rain.

Man, I hate it when it rains.

You kidding me? I love rain; best damn thing out there; it cools down the air; is way too hot to be walking around all dressed up like this. I, for one enjoy the rain.

Alex nods and the patrol moves on; it doesn't take long before rain lashes the barren landscape; the rain is hard and constant and it pounds the patrol as they slog through the city, still patrolling the city. The soldiers move diligently, trying to ignore the fact that they are wet, tired and hungry.

Alex radios in their position and he decides to take refuge in an abandoned building nearby, so that the team can rest, so he designates a large 7 story building across the street from their position as their stopping point; so the team goes inside and sweeps the building from top to bottom. The building, one of many that survived the bombings and is still standing provides shelter from the rain and it's location is perfect to set up an OP.

Alex (after making a sweep of the entire building):
Okay, we'll setup camp here for now, until the rain stops; change your socks and dry up. Percy; you and Mac set up an OP on the top floor and keep your eyeballs open for any enemy movement along the perimeter.

Alex pulls out a map from his chest rig and opens it; he finds the location of the building.

I want you guys to concentrate here (points to an area on the map) and here (an additional point on the map); the bridge across the park is still standing and it looks like it can support heavy armor, so if anybody wants to move armor through the city, they'll use that bridge, so keep an eye on that, okay?

Percy (carrying an M107 sniper rifle):
We'll do, boss. (to Mac) Come on...

If you guys see heavy armor, don't fire back; they might not know we are here, and I want to keep it that way; maintain a low profile and we'll put air cover on that bridge, got it?

Mac and Percy nod and then they take their gear upstairs and set their observation position on the top floor of the building. They scan the terrain using range finding binoculars and maintain a vigil of the sector from above. Meanwhile not too far away on the lower floor, the team stops to take a break from their patrol; the team drops their heavy gear and change into dry clothing and pull maintenance on their weapons.

Mitch walks up to the roof of the building and sets up a small communications antenna on the roof and begins to transmit information back to SC-29 Command HQ while everyone else gathers up their strength and rest up. As the minutes turn to hours, Alex collects his thoughts and puts them on a report that he's typing up on his computer. Hours pass and most of the men take sleep in shifts, so that one man is awake while the rest catch up on sleep.

Meanwhile, atop the building, Percy and Mac are scanning around for targets, but no dice; the long hours make up for small talk between the two snipers, but there is not much to do except wait and survey
Damn! Nothing. Call the boss and tell him that we are negative on enemy contact.

SCENE: His spotter nods and quickly communicates through his com-link, using Morse code as he taps the microphone in sequence. Even though they have high end comm equipment, they still use the old fashioned Morse Code system to talk to each other, that way they keep the radio chatter to a minimum while keeping the lines clear in case emergency radio traffic comes up the wire. On the opposite end, Alex listens to the series of taps and writes it all on a sheet of paper; after the spotter ends, he reads the message




Alex chuckles and he taps back his response.




Alex then walks back to where his men are gathered, checking how they are doing. Some of the men are getting some rest while others check their weapons and equipment; swapping batteries out of night vision equipment and weapon sights; Alex then sits down on a corner, going through maps; making notes on a diary while plotting coordinates.

Alex (to himself while writing):

"March 27th – We’ve swept the sector north of the old Bay Hill Bridge towards the financial district; encountered some stiff resistance from an enemy recon team, but we were able to eliminate them before they could call for reinforcements; their numbers were minor and they lacked any heavy vehicles or weapons, but we found something that raised our eyebrows; they had heavy explosives with them; comp-B, Semtex, the works; plus, something that our intelligence folks did not report to us; EFPs (Explosive Formed Penetrators) and specially made shaped charges, designed to penetrate heavy armor. What are they doing with so many explosives on them? And what were they doing with EFPs? We are bringing some of the stuff they were carrying back for analysis; hope the guys from Intelligence and the EOD folks might give us a clue to where it came from and who is supplying the enemy with their weapons."

Then Sean, his second-in-command, walks up to Alex with a canteen in his hands.

You okay, Alex?

Alex (looking up):
Yeah, just filling up my report.

Sergeant First Class Sean Michael Blackwell is an anthro mountain lion from Atlanta, Ga.; he, like Alex is a career man and both men served under the same command during the war. Sean and Alex have been friends for a long time and have been together during their careers. They sometimes see themselves as brothers, even though they often have vast differences of opinions on almost every subject; despite that, they tend to agree on a lot of things and their friendship has been a long one.

The guys are getting some rest now; they are tired.

Good; they deserve a few hours of shuteye before we head back home. We’ve been operating nonstop for nearly 3 days; I might just cop a few Z’s myself, but I have to get this report filed and saved before I do that.

Sean:So we found them and we destroyed them; that should slow their progress long enough for our other teams to make the proper plans; we sent command plenty of visual evidence about the charges; the mission has been a success… Just relax and get some rest.

Yeah; I will…

There’s a short pause; Alex rubs his eyes and tilts his head from side to side to relieve some stress. He’s tired, real tired. Sean taps him on his back and walks back to the men; Alex then secures his com-link and his data tablet on a waterproof backpack and walks back to where the rest of the team is gathered. Sean, Alex’s second-in-command and longtime friend then walks away and joins the rest of the team as they take some rest before heading back home.

Alex finds a corner and drops his backpack and weapon and he lays down on the floor, using the backpack as a pillow; he unbuckles his equipment belt and upholsters his Colt 1911A1 pistol and sets it next to him as he makes himself comfortable and dozes into sleep as one of the men stays awake while pulling sentry duty just as night falls over the city.

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Several hours later, they pack up and make their way back to a pre-designated landing zone on the parking lot of an old shopping center in the city’s commercial district; the team sets a perimeter and call for extraction; back in SC-29, two heavily armed HV-22D Ospreys take off from SC-29 enroute to the outer perimeter to pick up the patrol. The aircraft fly in a V formation with their rear ramps opened and gunners manning .30 caliber M134D miniguns, ready to provide heavy firepower if needed. The transports fly low and fast over the buildings and fly tightly, using large boulevards as canyons as they approach the LZ. The ships' navigation computers maneuver the titl-rotor aircraft effortlessly through the maze of bombed out buildings, finding the fastest route into their pre-designated LZ.

The pilot of the lead Osprey, a male anthro Silver Fox, flies by the seat of his pants as his co-pilot, another silver fox maintains his eyeballs on a terrain following radar and a thermal imaging monitor; the rear gunner and the crew chief, both humans, hold on as they keep their eyes peeled for activity.

Widowmaker Six Six, this is Osprey two niner, we are inbound; ten minutes to touchdown on Landing Zone Echo Bravo.

Radio Man:
Copy that Osprey Two Niner; we are in position waiting for exfil. (to Alex) Sir! Transports on their way; ETA 10 mikes.

All right, stay sharp, folks; they might be lying in wait. Stay down, eyes peeled!

The soldiers stay in the prone position behind junked out cars and piles of debris; tension builds as they wait patiently, yet anxiously for the transports to arrive; then the roar of the engines becomes audible in the distance, then becomes increasingly louder as they close in. Alex pulls out an infrared strobe light and turns it on, the transport pilots see the flashing lights and they signal the gunners to prepare for a hot landing.

One of the transports makes a quick landing while the other two fire up powerful lights on their ships and provide cover with a combination of guns and rocket pods mounted on the wings.

Alex (shouting through radio):

And the team rushes into the back end of the transport and Alex stays near the ramp as the other soldiers rush inside, but just as the last soldiers hit the ramp, a shot rings out and hits one of the soldiers in the back. The soldier screams in pain and collapses unto the ramp.

Percy (grabbing the soldier by the straps on his vest):

Alex quickly looks and sees a flurry of enemy combatants rushing into the landing zone, firing their weapons at the transports. Bullets ricochet from the back ramp and from the sides as the gunner opens fire with his minigun. Alex raises his carbine and also opens fire as the rest of the team get inside a second transport; a rocket impacts nearby and a ball of fire erupts from near the landing zone as the enym's fire becomes heavier.

Alex (shouting while falling back into the transport):

Finally, the last soldier hits the ramp and the tail gunner signals the pilot to ascend while pouring precise and heavy volume fire. The transports begins to gain altitude while under enemy small arms fire; rounds ping and ricochet from the transport’s semi armored skin while the rear gunner’s Minigun spews hot brass out the side of the ramp.

Magic Four Niner, this is Osprey Two Niner; we are under fire; landing zone hot; request gun and bomb run on our location.

F/A-22 Pilot:
Copy that Osprey Two Niner; we are at your 1 o' clock; brace up, we are dropping heavy steel.

As the transport lumber forward, a pair of F/A-22 Raptors appear on the scene and rush past the transports towards the landing zone and release their payload of cluster munitions.The planes drop two CBU-103 Cluster bombs; as the bombs reach 1500 feet over the target, the bomb's casings open up, releasing their bomblets, saturating the landing zone with hundreds of anti-personnel bomblets that detonate on impact, killing the enemy and destroying everything left in the landing zone in a shower of sparks fire and shrapnel.

Meanwhile. back inside the lead transport, Alex and Sean check the wounded soldier for injuries. They roll him on his stomach and start cutting away his gear, trying to get to the wound.

Soldier (grimacing in pain):
My back! In my back… Shit!!!

Alex rips the soldier’s coat and undershirt, revealing his back and he sees blood seeping out of a hole the size of a pencil eraser on his back. He then breaks open a first aid kit and begin providing medical aid to the wounded soldier.

Don't move; you'll be fine, the SAPI Plate broker the impact, but you have a hole in your back.

Soldier (screaming in pain):
Oh God! Don't let me die! Don't let me die! Aaah!! GOD, IT HURTS!!!

Sean (handing Alex a syringe):
Here, give him some Morphine.

Hold on! Let me give you something for the pain.

Soldier (in pain):
Oh, God! Don't let me die like this... Not now!

Alex jabs the needle into the soldier's leg and it takes but a few seconds for the powerful narcotic to kick in and soldier slowly stops squirming and relaxes while Alex bandages him up.

Sean (on radio):
HQ, this is Widowmaker; we have a man injure, bullet wound the the back; he's lost a lot fo blood; I will require medical team on standby at the tarmac; soldier is stable but bleeding profusely.

Copy that; we'll have a Medical Team ready on the tarmac.

Copy that, HQ. Out!

Sean sighs heavily as he looks as Alex while holding the wounded soldier's hand with one hand and his bandages with the other. Alex's uniform is bloodied up and he is breathign heavily. As the transports fly out of harms way and back to SC-29, the sun begins to rise over the horizon, bathing the inside of the craft with a warm orange glow. Alex looks out the wondow and sees the city, rising over the ruin, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Alex (to himself):

The transports reach the city's air terminal and begin to maneuver into landing position. Ground crews guide the Ospreys into landing position and the lumbering aircraft touch down. As the engines wind down, an ambulance drives up to the rear ramp and the wounded soldier is carried out in a stretcher to be taken to a nedical aid station while the soldiers disembark and unload their gear and equipment into a small-wheeled vehicle and drive out of the tarmac and into a large Hangar.

Once there, they clear their weapons, remove all ammunition and explosives from their gear and they quickly go into a decon room, where their uniforms get removed and sterilized, along with their weapons and equipment. Alex, being in charge, decides to go last; as he walks into the room; he is put in a platform, he drops his equipment and he strips off his uniform and undergarments.

SCENE - Alex walks naked into a shower station and takes a thorough bath, scrubbing thoroughly before being rinsed out and air dried. Once he has been decontaminated, he walks into a sterile room, where he is given a full medical evaluation. Once he is screened, he then is allowed to get dressed and he then proceeds to a briefing room, where he briefs his commander, General Stephen L. Craig II; an anthro white wolf who is the Military COmmander of SC-29 and Alex's boss.

SCENE - Briefing room, several high-ranking military officers sit in a room while Alex briefs them on their operation, including the discovery of the EFPs. THe explosives are cause for concern amongst the officers, so they question Alex about it.

Alex (showing images of the EFPs):
According to some of the date i was able to gather pre-briefing; it looks like the EFPs are quite advanced. THe design centers around a shaped charge made of Semtex, surrounded by a slug of solid copper and encased in a steel casing; the firing mechanism is designed so it can be detonated using an infrared trigger. We also discovered several detonators and firing triggers made using everything from Cell phones to Garage door openers; the mechanisms are simpe, but very effective.

Army Major:
So... Did you take everything you found in the cache?

No istr; the volume of explosives stored in this cache was too large for us to just pick up and bring back; most of it was destroyed while we did take a few of these, which are now being inspected and analyzed by our EOD people. The design of these explosives is reminiscent of Pakistani-made designs used during the Great War by the enemy; they are well made and unlike the crude designs used against our forces in the Middle East, these are mode advanced and show a level of technical expertise that suggests indirect Pakistani involvement in the war.

Air Force General:
That's a big accusation, Captain. Accusing a country of providing enemy forces with weapons...

I am not accusing anyoen of anything... Like i stated before, these explosives look like the ones i explained. THese could;ve been made in a shop outside of the Exclusion Zone and moved into the xclusion Zone by militias to be used against us. The technology is really not that complex, anyone with a garage full of tools and a computer hooked up to the Internet can make these. My concern is who is bringing these explosives into the Exclusion Zone and what their intentions are, sir.

Air Force General (interrupting):
Hmmm, I see your point, what do you suggest we do? It seems that they are amassing supplies for an unknown attack on the city; right under our noses and despite your patrols, we are not making headway into finding out who is supplying the militias with their weapons.

I suggest we increase satellite surveillance of all the enemy groups operating in our Area Of Operations and see who is making preparations; they are eventually going to screw up and expose themselves and once that happens, we jump in and take care of them.

Gen Craig:
Thank you, Captain. Your report has been very valuable; as usual, you and your men do an outstanding job and I am certain that your efforts have crippled the enemy's capability to attack the city. Please keep us abreast of anything that happens out there.

Yes sir.

Alex stands at attention and salutes before exiting the room. THe AF General is fuming mad and Craig knows this.

AF General:
You have yoruself a heck of a team leader, Steve. Where did you find this soldier?

Gen Craig:
He has been doing this for a very long time, Greg; he and his team are experts in the field and i would've never put him up for this unless i was one hundred percent certain that could deliver; and so far, he has.

AF General:
Good, because all this tells me we are in for something big and we should prepare accordingly.

Gen Craig:
I agree; we will increase surveillance and UAV overflights immediately...

USN Commander:
I'll have our UAV squadrons begin to increase overflights.

AF General Our SATCOM teams will start paying closer attention as well.

Gen Craig:
Very well, let's get on top of it.

The brass walks out of the office and Craig stays behind, looking at the intel Alex gathered; he knows that something big is going to happen, but he is confident that Alex's team will be on top of it. Meanwhile, down in the parking lot in front of Divisional Headquarters, Alex and Sean are walking to their vehicles to return home after what seems to be a short eternity.

Sean (getting off the phone):
Percy says William will be okay; the SAPI Plate he was wearing prevented the bullet from killing him, but the doctors will keep him under observation until he is sure that he has no permanent spinal damage.

(Sighing) Good; the last thing I need is to be going to a funeral for another one of our guys. At least I’ll get to keep him for another mission.

They don’t call us "The Widowmakers" for nothing. Every time we go out, we come back tugging a body bag with us.

Alex (smiling):
Well, not today; we jumped the shark this time.

Alex and Sean reach their vehicles and Sean pops the trunk on his 2009 Saleen modified Mustang GT and throws his gear in the trunk while Alex does the same on a restored 1969 Chevrolet Camaro RS/SS and they both shake hands.

Still up for going to the range on Saturday?

Yep; that is if your wife approves.

Alex winks and gets in his car and both soldiers drive in separate directions; Sean drives South towards downtown while Alex drives North towards Liberty Heights.

SCENE: Satellite Boulevard, traffic is moderate. Alex's Camaro rumbles down the road; the car's bright metallic blue paint shines brightly against the bright midday sun.

As Alex drives home, he unties his ponytail and shakes his long black hair, loosening it up while scratching the back of his head, then his facial fur; he’s happy to be back inside the walls of SC-29, so he turns the radio on and listens to some recorded music on his MP3 system. The drive is accelerating for Alex, so he takes the long route home; he shifts the gears and the 396 c.i. engine responds with a mighty roar as he accelerates past cars and trucks on the long stretch of road. He drives for about 30 minutes and arrives at a row of condos near Lake Freedom and parks his car in his garage, next to a speed bike and unloads all his combat gear off and walks a short flight of stairs into his home.

As Alex walks into his home, he drops his weapons and equipment into a small studio, he then he takes his jacket off, along with his boots and lays the jacket in a coat hanger in the living room and his boots on a shoe rack next to it; he passes by a large class photograph that shows his team in better days, posing in formation, all smiles; as time went by, the soldiers in the photograph have either died or retired from service; from the original 35 men in the picture, only 18 are still alive; specialized units like Alex's often suffer heavy losses in combat. A heavy price to pay to protect all life, human and anthro alike when life seems to be cheap.

Alex then walks towards the bedroom and loosens his belt up. As he drops his trousers and drops them on a laundry basket in the corner of the bedroom, leaving him dressed only in a pair of gray athletic shorts.
Then a pair of female arms come from behind him and wrap lovingly around his torso as Alex takes his undershirt off, revealing his deep orange body striped fur; then a young female Gazelle presses herself into Alex’s back. Her hands rub lovingly over his chest, stomach and sides.

Welcome home, tiger.

I'm happy to be back home.

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Just a friendly robot
Sounds cool! I think it's shaping up!
One minor, minor note, though.
In our real military, Percy wouldn't have a Barrett M107. That's the civilian model. He'd be using the Barrett M109.


Sounds cool! I think it's shaping up!
One minor, minor note, though.
In our real military, Percy wouldn't have a Barrett M107. That's the civilian model. He'd be using the Barrett M109.

Nope; the M107 LRSR is the military designation of the Barrett M82A1 rifle. Trust me, I've handled the rifle in Iraq and I've read the manuals.


The rifle's official designation is Long Range Sniper Rifle, Caliber .50, M107 and uses a Leupold 4.5x14 scope or an AN/PVS-10 Day/Night Vision Sniper Scope (which is the scope Percy has on his M-107).


Just a friendly robot
Nope; the M107 LRSR is the military designation of the Barrett M82A1 rifle. Trust me, I've handled the rifle in Iraq and I've read the manuals.


The rifle's official designation is Long Range Sniper Rifle, Caliber .50, M107 and uses a Leupold 4.5x14 scope or an AN/PVS-10 Day/Night Vision Sniper Scope (which is the scope Percy has on his M-107).

Well, that was my mistake then.
My personal favorite Sniper/anti-materiel rifle is the Hungarian manufactured Gepard M1, firing the Soviet 14.5x114 mm round.


Nope; the M107 LRSR is the military designation of the Barrett M82A1 rifle. Trust me, I've handled the rifle in Iraq and I've read the manuals.


The rifle's official designation is Long Range Sniper Rifle, Caliber .50, M107 and uses a Leupold 4.5x14 scope or an AN/PVS-10 Day/Night Vision Sniper Scope (which is the scope Percy has on his M-107).

Soldier Fur! -salutes- Must've been a nightmare out there..


Soldier Fur! -salutes- Must've been a nightmare out there..

Youhave no idea; I was a turret gunner (TTM, or Tactical Trunk Moneky) and my unit rolled around in M1025 Humvees, which had no armor, except for sandbags and taping old flak jackets to the doors for protection.

It was worst for me, because I was exposed the most on top of the turret with only my body armor to protect me; so i was kissing my ass goodbye every time we went outside the wire to escort a convoy or roll up an down MSR Tampa, looking for trouble.

Is tough, but we had our lighter moments and I have good memories of my time there.