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group therapy

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Phoenix-Kat

Guest
My mother is insisting I need to go to group therapy or else I will never be able to get my GED, get my driver's license, got to college, vet school, etc. She's getting SO pushy about it I've even had to hang on up her. She makes all these assumptions about me as if she can see into the future or can hack into my mind, saying I will never be able to do X unless I do something her way. I keep trying to tell her that group therapy isn't really a good match for people (adults at least) with autism and that I can show her links. Whenever I have links to backup my claims, she claims she doesn't need to see them. She says she has links proving otherwise but never sends them. Anyway, the links I have are from other autistic people. I try to tell her I could do just fine in a classroom if my classmates weren't harassing me or bullying me but she doesn't let me finish my sentence so I can't say that anyway. I told her a college classroom and a group therapy setting are two different things. I wouldn't have to speak to my classmates if I didn't want too but she insists I would. She says I will never be able to be a vet unless I go to some sort of group therapy first. I've asked (begged even) countless times for her to drop it, but she won't. Like I said previously, I've had to hang up on her when speaking to her on the phone. I've even warned her "If you don't drop this subject, I will have to hang up on you" but she goes on and on like a broken record about why I need to go and when I try to get a word in, she talks over me. Finishing a sentence is something I could never do around my mom unless it was something she agreed with. I think she is full of bull droppings but I've been wrong before.
 

Distorted

Active Member
Group therapy isn't all that bad. It's a nice safe environment that people can share and support each other in. It can even help you speak a little easier around people. That's what it did for me anyway. It might not be such a bad idea, but then I don't have autism so I'm not sure how you would feel. If you would be better in a classroom then that's fine too. Just do you. Besides, you don't stay with your mom anymore right. You should create an opportunity to express yourself to your mom without interruptions. Let her know how you really feel and all that. She seems awfully overbearing.
 

RedSavage

Rattlesnake Flavored
Generally people who love you are trying to get you to do things out of your best interest.

You also shouldn't use your autism as justification for -not trying-. I'm not saying that you're not justified in thinking things will make things more difficult. It will. Just like someone with ADD will have trouble studying. Or someone with anxiety will have trouble meeting new people.

But you have to -try-. Because the only alternative is letting yourself be controlled by your condition.
 
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Phoenix-Kat

Guest
Group therapy isn't all that bad. It's a nice safe environment that people can share and support each other in. It can even help you speak a little easier around people. That's what it did for me anyway. It might not be such a bad idea, but then I don't have autism so I'm not sure how you would feel. If you would be better in a classroom then that's fine too. Just do you. Besides, you don't stay with your mom anymore right. You should create an opportunity to express yourself to your mom without interruptions. Let her know how you really feel and all that. She seems awfully overbearing.

No, I no longer live with her but I still have contact. If I try to e-mail her or send her a letter, she will not read it and even if she does it doesn't make a difference. Once she has her mind made up, she won't change it. And she complains that I get "stuck" on things. My mom has never been very keen on the idea of me being a vet and I can't help but since she doesn't want me to be one either. She's always tried to discourage me and tell me how unrealistic it was as opposed to most parents who would encourage their kid.
Generally people who love you are trying to get you to do things out of your best interest.

You also shouldn't use your autism as justification for -not trying-. I'm not saying that you're not justified in thinking things will make things more difficult. It will. Just like someone with ADD will have trouble studying. Or someone with anxiety will have trouble meeting new people.

But you have to -try-. Because the only alternative is letting yourself be controlled by your condition.

My mom's the one who tries to get me to use my condition/s as an excuse to not try.

My mom says she can't show me the links because I have a "dual diagnosis" aparently. She thinks I have a "mood disorder" and REFUSES to hear me out when I tell her how common it is for people with autism to be misdiagnosed with a "mood disorder" because of an inability to communicate and therefore frustration and tension just get built up until the person can't hold it in any longer and has a "meltdown". She says I have always been like this, then will turn around and say it came out of nowhere. I even told her that my current therapist told me that if a person is depressed for a specific reason, taking an antidepressant is going to do absolutely nothing for them. She told me my therapist probably didn't say that. (My mom wasn't in the room and my therapist DID say that); my mom is ALWAYS accusing me of "misinterpreting" things, espically negative things ( If I was raped, I wouldn't be surprised to hear my mom say I "misinterpreted" that was well). I wonder if my mom is trying to tell me I "misinterpreted" this as well. She also says she never asked the vet if I could work for them and get my experience because I had self-harm scars. Which isn't extactaly true because I had asked her countless times before I even started self harming and at the time she told me that vets only hire vet students. My mom is always making excuses and they are very inconsistent. One day she will say something, and the next she will say something completely different or claim she never said it at all.
 
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RedSavage

Rattlesnake Flavored
My mom's the one who tries to get me to use my condition/s as an excuse to not try.

Yet you write:

I keep trying to tell her that group therapy isn't really a good match for people (adults at least) with autism and that I can show her links. Whenever I have links to backup my claims

Quit with the links. Try the group therapy. Force yourself out of your comfort zone. You shouldn't just be "alright so long as no one bullies" you. You should be alright no matter how hard things are. People are going to be giving you shit and pushing you around all your life. Fyi: The world isn't a nice place. And people aren't going to be nice because they should.
 

Hinalle K.

Banned
Banned
Don't do it, don't prove your mother right. When are you going to stop letting her have such an influence on your life?
Nearly every thread of yours is about how she's controlling you.
 
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Phoenix-Kat

Guest
Don't do it, don't prove your mother right. When are you going to stop letting her have such an influence on your life?
Nearly every thread of yours is about how she's controlling you.
When I'm able to become my own SSI payee. My parents say one can't be their own payee and arguing with them is pointless. My brother thinks that if I let someone outside the family become my payee, they will just put me in an institution or "home" of some kind.
 
Yes, she does sound like she is overbearing. And it does appear to me that you are confirmation bias. Hopefully you'll at least consider it for the benefit of you, not your mother. If you attend the group therapy once and it does not work, you can at least say you tried. I know that I have tried attending group therapy and did not find it all that useful. Learning to step out of your comfort zone is a very important trait to learn and I do hope you learn it sooner rather than later.
 
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