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Has anyone completely quit dating & relationships?

Have you given up and quit dating?

  • Yes

    Votes: 14 28.0%
  • No

    Votes: 5 10.0%
  • Not yet, but I'm very close

    Votes: 12 24.0%
  • No, and I don't believe I will

    Votes: 19 38.0%

  • Total voters
    50

Ovidia Dragoness

Udder Derg
Banned
Here's a big note, just because a relationship doesn't last doesn't mean it was a failure. If you enjoyed the time you spent together it was a success. That feeling you feel shouldn't be failure when a relationship ends. Remember the happy moments and mourn if you have to and move on. But never think that it's a failure just because things didn't last forever.
 

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
In the past, I had given up in terms of an internal sense of hopelessness, but never in terms of reaching out and continuing to try to meet people...as moody as I might become, I tended to channel that longing into forms of art, music, poetry, and their adjacent social interactions: hanging out and listening to music with friends, going to see live music, trading mixed tapes/Cds with people, talking about music online, writing and sharing poetry, doing the occasional reading...so that even if at points I could be dark and 'intense', there was always this social aspect, and a longing to share things, hang out and joke around.

Hard to put this is simple terms, but one thing that comes to mind is just carrying on with things that you enjoy doing, and finding a social context for them...and that through this, you tend to meet more and more people in a deeper sense, and hopefully forge lasting bonds in the process.
 

Tallow_Phoenix

Totally not a vampire
I did, once; my parents used to tell me that I didn't have a boyfriend because I "didn't try", so the one time I did try and fail I was like "Screw that, I'm going to forget guys and work on improving myself." And it was possibly the best decision I ever made - life is so much better when you're not constantly worrying about being single. I ended up finding relationships when I wasn't looking for them, just because I had become more confident around men (on account of not caring what they think - which I know is a harder mindset to attain than it sounds!)

Basically, like others have said, just be you and don't even worry about it.
 
F

FrostHeart

Guest
This one enjoys the company of others, but never really had feelings for anyone. So technically I haven't started.
 

Breyo

Professional Nibbler
Eh, this might sound kinda anti-social, but I just don't really feel like contributing the time and effort into a relationship. I'm stressed enough as is, and adding another person in my life that I have a super close bond with would only make things worse and give me a lot more to worry about.

I flirt every now and then when I am super close (in terms of friendship) in a joking manner (I'm also way too socially awkward to be in a relationship, haha), but then I remember what I might potentially be getting myself into, and I stop immediately without a second thought.

So, TL;DR...
If I start dating, I'll have even more to worry about. So no dating for me! That's a-ok in my book :)
 
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tamara590

curious wolf
getting close there, i have many limitations [cant travel, barely any money, etc]
im not conventionally attractive, im demisexual [and most people want sex fast, yeah, not me]
im shy, social anxiety
even tho im friendly and openminded its just impossible to find someone, so im done with trying.
 

DergenTheDragon

The cutest derg
I have chronic paranoia, social anxiety and like a negative amount of self-esteem thanks to a pretty abusive childhood, if I could go out and meet people I would freeze in terror unless they spoke to me first. Then I'm ok, but I cannot start that conversation, brain goes on strike at the thought
 

zandelux

01189998819991197253
I had quit for awhile without really meaning to... I just found fewer and fewer reasons to try. Some people can find love without looking for it, but that's never worked for me, so I have to be proactive.

But this year, things have finally changed for the better in so many areas of my life. I was a big ball of negative crap for the longest time, and finally getting rid of that (or starting to anyway) has made me want to date again. Though I'm not currently at the point where I can effectively look, and I don't want to jump back into things too quickly. There's enough work to be done outside of dating.

There's nothing wrong with being happy and single. Don't date for the wrong reasons, like because people around you are, or because someone is bugging you about it. At the same time, if you're depressed and feel like ragequitting dating, the dating isn't an issue but the depression probably is!
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
In a way... Yes.

I'm looking for in-person friends. If I happen to make one that sticks with me for a long time, only then would I consider it, because if they can't be my friend first, how can I expect them to be my lover?

And of course I can't make irl friends either. I used to keep my options open despite it seeming hopeless, but now I have given up hope, but in a way, it ensures my own safety. 100% of interactions with people on dating/friend sites has been nothing but lies and bipolar people/psychos waiting to unleash their problems on me. Especially with COVID, it's gotten to the point where online is probably my only option, but I refuse to take that risk anymore.
Plus finances.
Even if I did find my happy ending waiting for me online, I would never be able to physically afford it. I wouldn't risk ending up back on the streets just to meet someone in another part of the world and be stranded. I'll probably never be able to afford my own house, let alone getting someone citizenship.
 

Zehlua

Magepunk Fashionisto
The time I gave up was the time it felt like everyone wanted my attention. When I started working on myself and dating myself, the exes came pouring in wondering how I've been doing and if I'm still in town and if I've gotten married yet.
Then I somehow ended up in a polycule.
One idiot in the polycule wasn't a team player and chose to be manipulative and play some middle school levels of nonsense which put the whole operation in disarray
And then there were two.
The two are doing alright.
I'm just going with the flow at this point. Sure, I've been shattered to pieces in ways I don't want to talk about, and I still hurt from it all, but love found me anyway. Every day, I do my best to be grateful and kind. Sometimes self-care is letting yourself exist peacefully in a healthy relationship, and being brave enough to ask for the things you need. Sometimes I want to give up and be alone, because I'm still in a lot of pain from the past, and because I'm scared of being stuck in another bad relationship. But every day, in big ways and small, Inkarus is good to me, and I'm good to him. Maybe if we keep being nice to each other, it'll all work itself out. That's what I'm hoping for.
 
D

Deleted member 111470

Guest
I read it as "has anyone completely quit dancing" at first...

Well, yes, because I don't have confidence. I don't want to be in a relationship if I'm uncomfortable with myself.
 

MrSpookyBoots

Disgusted...
I remember saying in another thread that being tethered to someone would be torture. This is because, before, I had dated two people; one who was already dating someone else when they approached me, and another who was mentally and emotionally abusive. Both ended with me getting hurt. I broke that and tried to date someone because we had similar interests and had known each other for a while. We were in a relationship for two months. No further.

I am close to throwing in the towel. Not sure if dating is a good idea at the moment. It took me eight years to become confident to date someone again. Now? I don't really know if I want to try again. Maybe when I'm in my mid-30's, I'll have the confidence to try again. But I'm beginning to think I suck at picking the right people, and if that's the case, is it really worth trying anymore? I'm beginning to think that it isn't.
 
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Ramjet

Seizing the memes of production
Yes, 33 and much better off for it.

It definitely isn't the life style for everyone that's for sure, but for people with the mental fortitude to carve out their own path in this life alone, it's extremely rewarding.

Trouble is too many people have the expectation to only find happiness in another, placing that responsibility solely on the other party.
If you're unable to find that happiness within yourself first and foremost, why would you expect someone to take that burden for you at the expense of their own?
 
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not quite but i am getting close there ive had 3 past relationships and i thought well thats it but now its been way to long to be with anyone 8 years even so its sorta a yes and no but i have to trust someone first before hand :3
 

Yakamaru

Spookdogg
True, search for love and you will lose your mind. Instead just relax and let it find you.

My last partner was met by complete accident through the computer game. We were together for 3 years.

So if I can give the advice? Enjoy being alone and people will come on their own.

Ths best comparison I can give is the one to cats. Try to pet one and it will go away, ignore it and it will rub against your shins.


P.s - Long timd no see Bal
This.

Love yourself first and foremost. Be.. happy with yourself.

What are you looking for in a relationship? What do you want out of one? What can you bring to one? What goals/personal achievements are you working towards? Do you have any long-term goals? What in life do you want to achieve? What limits do you want to push and/or break? What drives you?

Eyes on the horizon looking forward. The journey towards whatever you choose to focus on is just as important as the goal itself.

Once you have that focus in life.. Everything else follows.
 
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