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Hi ,please I need feedback of my new furry action comic :)

Mr. Beaver

https://tapastic.com/series/Mr-Beaver
Dear Furaffinity friends, it is already official: the issue one of Mr. Beaver will be presented this october in New York Comicon 2018!

Those who can attend will find it on small press booth 1247 next to the great producer Benjamin Slabak

Thanks To all!

mr_beaver_01_covera_by_lincelots-dcltn07.jpg
 

Morning-mouse

Mouse Anthro
That was an amazing read. I loved how finely detailed your art was. Such hard black and grey colours reflecting the darker tones to the story yet it still felt right for the slightly comical elements. I loved the flow of the story. So far it is too early to make any conclusive remarks but I loved how the characters and their conversations felt natural. Reminded me of a few comic books I have read in the past mixed with a crime drama and the heavy shading from your art style just added to that. Was the art style a conscious choice or is that just your normal drawing style? If the former that was well chosen and impressive. If it is your normal art style then I must give respect to being able to stick to what you know and be able to set the pace of a story so well.

I also love how fast passed it got when the action came. Such simple yet well thought out way to deal with people if a little graphic for my liking (Episode 1 page 21! That last guy was just insulting to me XD)

Although I did see a few downsides. Nothing massive but it takes away from the tone you were setting in the earlier pages. When the mysterious first villain appears. the one who deflected those bullets with ease and announced himself as an old partner. Would it not have been better to leave an air of mystery? You were setting a strong detective/police work tone to the story yet you just gave away such a critical element of the story so easily. (Although I am not a mind reader so I don't know how critical it is to the story or how long you plan to make the story go on for) However, when he came in the flow of the conversation entered an uncanny valley of sorts. It was still reasonable but the natural flow felt a little stiff there. It felt like you had an idea what conclusion to the pages you wanted but couldn't quite get the execution right.

This doesn't mean that it ruined everything. This is just my point of view having read the first part of your story. I may be totally wrong and just missing the details I need to see it work in my head. But even if that isn't the case this is still a good 8/10 in my eyes. It was well drawn and set you up for multiple plot arcs if you wish. A slight overload of exposition in the first chapter can take away from the natural flow of the story and you don't need to explain every last detail. Sometimes what the reader uses to fill in the blanks is better than outright telling people all the information right off the bat. If and it is a big IF you wanted to make it a detective/drama story like the earlier tones in the chapter would suggest then leaving in untold answers for even 90% of the story's time is actually a good thing and makes the reader more invested. But if what you wanted was more of a James bond action-packed story with a detective narrative then what you need to work on is the build up. Epic action-packed fights don't get quite as epic as they are without earning every inch of it. Setting up the character development and growth. Setting up the reason for the fight and then executing on it with every last bit of emotion that the storyteller feels is needed. Having such a well-done action sequence in the first part will take away from initial character growth. You have already given a first impression and a strong one at that, adding to it with subtle changes will be harder (Not impossible but will take a lot more thinking and reason).

All in all you have a good thing going here and given the nostalgia it makes me feel of the old black and white detective movies I will read it. And I will continue to read it if you can maintain or even improve the quality of the work. You have a strong opener here so I would recommend playing off that for a bit before adding even more. Careful not to overwhelm to reader or yourself by adding too much at once and you will have a good story on your hands. If you would like further information from my point of view or just wanna talk story with me feel free to pm me. I am more of a book worm/writer myself but I do like the classic comics and I am glad I read through yours. Good luck with your story
 

Mr. Beaver

https://tapastic.com/series/Mr-Beaver
That was an amazing read. I loved how finely detailed your art was. Such hard black and grey colours reflecting the darker tones to the story yet it still felt right for the slightly comical elements. I loved the flow of the story. So far it is too early to make any conclusive remarks but I loved how the characters and their conversations felt natural. Reminded me of a few comic books I have read in the past mixed with a crime drama and the heavy shading from your art style just added to that. Was the art style a conscious choice or is that just your normal drawing style? If the former that was well chosen and impressive. If it is your normal art style then I must give respect to being able to stick to what you know and be able to set the pace of a story so well.

I also love how fast passed it got when the action came. Such simple yet well thought out way to deal with people if a little graphic for my liking (Episode 1 page 21! That last guy was just insulting to me XD)

Although I did see a few downsides. Nothing massive but it takes away from the tone you were setting in the earlier pages. When the mysterious first villain appears. the one who deflected those bullets with ease and announced himself as an old partner. Would it not have been better to leave an air of mystery? You were setting a strong detective/police work tone to the story yet you just gave away such a critical element of the story so easily. (Although I am not a mind reader so I don't know how critical it is to the story or how long you plan to make the story go on for) However, when he came in the flow of the conversation entered an uncanny valley of sorts. It was still reasonable but the natural flow felt a little stiff there. It felt like you had an idea what conclusion to the pages you wanted but couldn't quite get the execution right.

This doesn't mean that it ruined everything. This is just my point of view having read the first part of your story. I may be totally wrong and just missing the details I need to see it work in my head. But even if that isn't the case this is still a good 8/10 in my eyes. It was well drawn and set you up for multiple plot arcs if you wish. A slight overload of exposition in the first chapter can take away from the natural flow of the story and you don't need to explain every last detail. Sometimes what the reader uses to fill in the blanks is better than outright telling people all the information right off the bat. If and it is a big IF you wanted to make it a detective/drama story like the earlier tones in the chapter would suggest then leaving in untold answers for even 90% of the story's time is actually a good thing and makes the reader more invested. But if what you wanted was more of a James bond action-packed story with a detective narrative then what you need to work on is the build up. Epic action-packed fights don't get quite as epic as they are without earning every inch of it. Setting up the character development and growth. Setting up the reason for the fight and then executing on it with every last bit of emotion that the storyteller feels is needed. Having such a well-done action sequence in the first part will take away from initial character growth. You have already given a first impression and a strong one at that, adding to it with subtle changes will be harder (Not impossible but will take a lot more thinking and reason).

All in all you have a good thing going here and given the nostalgia it makes me feel of the old black and white detective movies I will read it. And I will continue to read it if you can maintain or even improve the quality of the work. You have a strong opener here so I would recommend playing off that for a bit before adding even more. Careful not to overwhelm to reader or yourself by adding too much at once and you will have a good story on your hands. If you would like further information from my point of view or just wanna talk story with me feel free to pm me. I am more of a book worm/writer myself but I do like the classic comics and I am glad I read through yours. Good luck with your story
Hi morning Mouse

Thanks you a lot for taking the time to make a great and honest review, a lot of your words and analysis have sense to me. Mrb presents as a police dark series but will become something like an action adventure series , so i am aiming to an epic hero shonen kind of story archetype than a thriller/mystery, i guess this will be more clear on the upcoming chapters. The full story will be published by Action Lab in 2019 in full color so i did have to take down the episodes in Tapas. Anyways, thanks again for you review :)
 

Keefur

aka Cutter Cat
That is a very dynamic cover. The only thing I would have done differently, and this is just me personally, and not a slam against this really nice work, is that I would have had the pin and lever of the grenade falling away, making it a live grenade and introducing a continuance factor to the cover. People are going to be wondering where he is going to throw that grenade. I'm a printer, and this is really good work. From a technical aspect, you want to make sure you allow for bleed on the head, face and foot of the cover. The spine won't be affected by the cropping as it will have the back cover attached. I like to see an eight inch bleed and critical text and image should be at least a quarter of an inch from the crop line. If I'm too technical for you, you can contact me on FA through a note. I am Keefur there as well.
 

Keefur

aka Cutter Cat
Dear Furaffinity friends, it is already official: the issue one of Mr. Beaver will be presented this october in New York Comicon 2018!

Those who can attend will find it on small press booth 1247 next to the great producer Benjamin Slabak

Thanks To all!

View attachment 39279
My critique is above. I don't think I hit the reply button. Good luck with your 'zine.
 

Mr. Beaver

https://tapastic.com/series/Mr-Beaver
Dear Furaffinity people

I would like to thank you for all your support and feedback you gave me all this time, finally Mr.Beaver mini series is on! you can pre order the first issue here:

MR BEAVER #1 VERDUGO MUNOZ CVR A (MR) - Midtown Comics

Or you can pre order Mr.Beaver in your local comicbook store !

the codes are:

Cover A:SEP191371
Cover B:SEP191372

And the link : previewsworld.com/Catalog/SEP1…

Thanks you for all your comments and support, you give me the confidence to bring this series to live !

Pablo V.
 

Whimsycal

The whimsical clown
Dear Furaffinity people

I would like to thank you for all your support and feedback you gave me all this time, finally Mr.Beaver mini series is on! you can pre order the first issue here:

MR BEAVER #1 VERDUGO MUNOZ CVR A (MR) - Midtown Comics

Or you can pre order Mr.Beaver in your local comicbook store !

the codes are:

Cover A:SEP191371
Cover B:SEP191372

And the link : previewsworld.com/Catalog/SEP1…

Thanks you for all your comments and support, you give me the confidence to bring this series to live !

Pablo V.

Omg!! Congrats! I am definitely pre ordering. Tell me they send to México! Congrats again!!
 
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